Indelible Love - Emily's Story

by D. W. Cee

  I reached over to hold his hand. “Jake?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Why are you so quiet? Did I do something wrong again?”

  “Emily, why would you think you did anything wrong?”

  “Well, generally when someone stops talking to you, it’s because they’re upset with you. Alright… let me explain why I don’t want to hear about that vile woman.”

  This brought a chortle out of Jake.

  “When I was waiting in the car for you, I realized you were right when you said it’s not good to know too much about each other’s past. Watching her kiss you unsettled me to a point where my mind raced in all directions jumping to conclusions about your relationship with her, past and present. Unpleasant would be a mild way of explaining what I felt.”

  This explanation only brought on a guiltier look.

  “But then I thought about what you had to witness on Friday with me and Max and I decided whatever I felt this morning couldn’t have compared to what you must have felt meeting my only boyfriend of four years. So, I thought it only fair to let everything go and enjoy the rest of the day.”

  His eyes expressed appreciation and we did enjoy the rest of the day at an oyster farm about an hour north of the city. It never ceased to amaze Jake how much I ate. He watched in amusement as I tried to shuck an oyster with no success. Jake also found no success trying to top oysters with the goodies that we brought. His toppings fell off the shell or slid to the side. We decided he should shuck the oysters while I created my masterpieces of oysters with caviar, oysters with mignonette and hot sauce and grilled oysters with melted cheeses, hot sauce and pancetta – that was the winning combination. A bottle of wine later, I needed dessert and coffee to wake me up or I would end up asleep on our picnic blanket among a crowd of people.

  “Jake, how did you know Parisian macarons are my favorite dessert? I don’t think I ever told you this, did I?”

  His lips curled into a most endearing expression. “You have this almost wistful look in your eyes when you talk about or see something you like.”

  “That’s exactly what my mom used to tell me. While you call it wistful, she called it covetous,” I laughed. “How boring and predictable am I when you’ve figured me out this easily and so quickly,” I stated with chagrin.

  “On the contrary, I find you to be the most interesting and desirable woman I’ve ever met. I can’t get enough of you.”

  I felt blood rushing to my cheeks. “That’s only because I’m the one girl who hasn’t jumped into bed with you on the first date.” I saw blood rushing to his cheeks as well.

  Waiting out a delay on the runway at SFO, I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Jake pulled up the armrest, placed his arms around my waist and had me snuggle into his chest. I could never tire of this sense of being desired. Drifting into unconsciousness Jake kissed the top of my head whispering three words that gave me goose bumps. Perhaps I was only dreaming.

  Chapter 5 Max’s Regret

  The phone rang way too early for my liking.

  “Hello?” I answered, annoyed.

  “Emily. You’re back. Where were you yesterday? I tried calling you all day.” It was Sarah probably calling for a minute by minute recap of my date.

  “Sarah! It’s awfully early to be calling. What time is it?”

  “Get up! It’s 6:00am.”

  Was she kidding? 6:00am? “I just got to bed a few hours ago. Leave me alone.”

  “I’m coming over right now. I got you some coffee.”

  Sure enough, the doorbell rang within minutes. Ugh. I pulled on a robe, slowly brushed my teeth and washed my face before answering the door. Sarah was dressed to go to work and ready to attack if I didn’t start talking.

  “Tell me everything!”

  I tried to be vague because I was tired and wanted her to leave so I could go back to sleep but that was wishful thinking. I had to give her every detail of our trip from start to finish.

  “Alright. We flew out of Burbank airport and landed in SFO. Jake rented a car and we had lunch at my dream restaurant up in Napa.”

  “Seriously? How did he do that? Didn’t he just dream up this trip three nights ago? He’s good! Wait, what’s that on your neck? That looks heavy. That’s not an engagement ring, is it?”

  I started walking towards my bedroom threatening to go back to sleep. “Okay, I won’t interrupt,” begged Sarah. “Continue!”

  “We ate lunch, drove to his apartment in the city to rest, and then got ready for dinner and an opera.”

  “What? He has an apartment up in San Francisco? What did you do there?” Her expression turned suggestive.

  “Sarah! You know that I didn’t have sex with Max during our entire four year relationship. You know that I feel strongly about waiting till I get married.”

  “Yeah, yeah. I know. You and your virtues. I don’t know how you can hold back when you have someone as gorgeous as Jake in an empty apartment.”

  “Anyhow, his sister, Jane, was in town as well so we got ready and had dinner with her and saw Carmen. After a nine course lunch and a four course dinner, I think I have officially gained back the weight I lost after my break-up with Max,” I kidded.

  “So, then where were you yesterday? Did you spend Sunday with Jake as well?”

  I paused knowing that Sarah was about to assume the worst. “I stayed up north all weekend.”

  “You what?” Her eyes bugged out. She knew I had never spent a night with anyone other than her. “You slept with Jake?”

  She would jump to insane conclusions. “Sarah, I stayed in their apartment but slept in Jane’s room with Jane.”

  “Oh.” Her excitement deflated faster than a popped balloon. “So you told Jake about your ridiculous pledge to stay a virgin?”

  I nodded my head yes.

  “What a buzz kill. He must have loved that piece of information about you.”

  “Yeah, at first I thought that he was okay with it but I soon saw a whole other side to Dr. Reid. Inside this well respected doctor who showers me with attention, lives a five year old who pouts when he doesn’t get what he wants and gets upset quite easily. I found it adorable.”

  The conversation that ensued covered why I had a very expensive ring on my neck and how Jake and I were going to give this relationship a chance at a future.

  Sarah looked at me as though she wasn’t sure she believed my earnest attempt at a new relationship. “I know you really like Jake and Charlie and I are happy you’ve moved on, but can you honestly say that you are over Max and that you can seriously date Jake? Jake obviously thinks of you a lot more than you do of him.”

  “He told me that he really likes me and I like him just as much. I’m going to try, Sarah, to completely let go of the past and to start loving again. I had such an amazing weekend with him.” Without a doubt or any pretense, I believed I could start anew. Sarah didn’t buy it.

  “Peter told me you and Max never made it to the bar Friday night. What happened to you two? Where were you?”

  “We went and had dinner. Thanks to you, I didn’t eat that night. I can’t believe you did that to me. How can you call yourself my…”

  Sarah cut me off. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. Back to dinner, what did you two talk about?”

  “Max asked about Jake and I asked about him and Jennifer. He apologized to me for breaking my heart and reassured me that he loved me very much when we were dating. He said that I was his world or something like that.” I spoke with much skepticism.

  “Charlie told me yesterday that Max and Jennifer broke up.”

  My head spun. “What?”

  “That’s what I heard. He broke it off after being with you on Friday so we thought maybe you two were back together.”

  “Sarah! That’s crazy. You know that I’m seeing Jake. I have no thoughts of getting back together with Max.”

  Sarah eyed me curiously. Still she wasn’t convinced.

  “You’re such a liar. I still see the hurt on your
face whenever I bring up Max.”

  “Yeah, it still hurts but I’m over him. I want to be with Jake. I really like him. I feel so at ease with him. With Max, I was always on edge, you know that.”

  Ding dong.

  We looked at each other wondering who would come by so early in the morning. We both walked over to the door and to my delight, it was Jake.

  “Good Morning, Beautiful.” He planted a long kiss on my lips. Sarah tried to make her presence known and break us up but Jake wouldn’t let go.

  “Hello?” Sarah protested.

  Jake looked up from my face and answered, “Hey Sarah. What are you doing here so early?”

  “I was going to ask you the same thing.”

  “What are you both doing here at this hour?” I tried to sound annoyed.

  “After having spent an entire weekend with you, my girlfriend, I was going through withdrawal.” He tried to kiss me again but the phone rang.

  “Goodness, it’s Grand Central here today. Sarah, can you answer that for me, please?”

  “Hello?” We heard from afar.

  I continued my conversation with Jake. “To what do I owe this unexpected but much appreciated visit? I’ve never seen you so soon after a date. I thought maybe I wouldn’t see you again till we landed in Hawaii.” I laughed knowing this was our reality.

  “I missed you after dropping you off last night. I thought I’d come by and see you before I started my day. What’s your schedule like today?”

  “Absolutely nothing. This is the life of a school teacher on vacation.”

  “You want to come to the hospital and have lunch with me?”

  I eyed him suspiciously knowing that he had no set lunch time.

  “Oh? What time?”

  A chuckle ensued with no clear answer for a lunch time, but many more kisses to all parts of my face and neck followed. Sarah halted our embrace as she yelled over, “Max and Peter want to know if you want to have lunch with them around noon today?”

  My eyes gleamed with mischief, while his shot daggers at the thought of me being back together with Max.

  “Well, Dr. Reid? Lunch today? I’ve got another offer on the table. Can you match that?” I smiled at his perturbed face.

  “No. Go ahead and have lunch with your ex. I don’t know when I’ll get out of surgery.” Even with a churlish demeanor, Jake was still endearing.

  I hugged him and said, “I thought I might see another one of your tantrums. Don’t worry. I promise I won’t allow Max to run over and kiss me like you allowed Allison to do. Go save another life, Dr. Reid. Stop by after work if you like.”

  He glowered at my snide remark concerning Allison; then lit up at the prospect of us seeing each other later; but quickly turned glum at the thought of me spending the day with Max. We said goodbye and he left for work.

  Sarah had told the guys to meet for lunch near her work so that she and Charlie could join us. Today was shaping up to be a more eventful day than I had planned.

  “By the way, Sarah, I’m leaving for Hawaii on Monday. You and Charlie want to house-sit for me? I’ll be back Thursday morning.” Once again, I went into long details with my best friend about Jake and the Reid family. She seemed quite impressed.

  “We’d love to house-sit. It gives me a chance to be with Charlie for four straight days.” I didn’t want to know what was going on in that mind of hers.

  “Use the guest bedroom, okay? No funny stuff on my bed.” This provoked a pillow fight I was not ready for so early in the morning.

  When Max offered to pick me up and take me out to the Westside to meet Peter, Sarah and Charlie I hesitantly agreed. Being with Max made me nervous all over again but for different reasons. Though I knew Jake was the only man in my life, I was still unsure where Max fit, if he fit at all. I got in the car and Max eye’s immediately landed on my new necklace.

  “What’s with the albatross on your neck?” he rudely referred to my ring.

  My face scowled in answer to his obnoxious question. After a bit of silence, Max tried to ask me questions about inconsequential things like what I was doing for Christmas and New Years but as soon as I reminded him that I was going to Hawaii with Jake, the awkwardness reappeared. Feeling jittery, conversation stopped for the rest of the ride.

  When we got to the restaurant, our friends were seated already. We all said our hellos and everyone’s eyes locked onto my pendant.

  “Did you get married and forget to invite us to the wedding?” Peter questioned.

  Max sharply answered, “She won’t say. I’ve asked already.”

  Charlie too was curious about the necklace. “You going to explain why you’re wearing a wedding band on your neck?”

  “Okay. I’ll explain,” I answered exasperated. “Jake gave this to me Saturday to make our dating official.”

  “What does that mean?” Peter asked.

  “Jake wanted affirmation, that we were boyfriend and girlfriend.”

  “If he buys you something like that when asking to be your boyfriend, what will he get you if he’s asking to be your husband?” Sarah wondered.

  I saw a bothered look on Max’s face and a worried look on Peter’s. The two of them exchanged some message I chose to ignore.

  “Let’s order,” I exclaimed breaking the mood.

  Everyone loosened up once our ring conversation was forgotten. It had been a long time since the five of us had sat down for a casual meal and Max and I eventually relaxed and started chatting like good friends, again. We planned out our trip to Vegas and Peter told us that he would take care of all the hotel arrangements. We deliberated on whether or not to allow Peter to make the sleeping arrangements but since none of us wanted to do it, we let it be.

  In the middle of lunch, I received a text from Jake that made me laugh.

  Are you done with lunch yet? You did keep your promise concerning Max?

  I understood his text but decided to make his life a bit more difficult.

  What promise? I didn’t make you nor Max any promises did I?

  Yes you did. You weren’t going to allow him anywhere near you.

  Well, he picked me up, drove me to lunch and is now sitting next to me. Does that break my promise to you?

  Emily! This isn’t funny. You’re torturing me.

  I’m not the one who kissed another woman in the middle of our weekend together.

  I thought you said you’re going to let that one go. I promise! I didn’t kiss her back.

  I laughed again.

  When will lunch be over? You want to come visit me at the hospital?

  I don’t know when lunch will be over and no, I don’t want to go to the hospital anymore. After the ER incident, I’m afraid of doctors now. Everyone at my table is giving me an unpleasant look because I’m ignoring them while texting you. Come over tonight. I will consider whether or not I want to kiss you since you’ve now reminded me of Allison. I have to go. Bye.

  “Sorry.” I said to all my friends. Sarah rolled her eyes at me.

  As the hour was up, Sarah and Charlie both had to get back to work and Peter left soon after. Max and I decided to walk off our lunch and browse the shops. We had a surprisingly pleasant time together. I shopped for Christmas presents for Jake’s family since I would be seeing all of them in Hawaii and for Christmas dinner. I had no idea what they might like so it was like searching for a needle in a haystack.

  We stopped for coffee and Max had that look again – the one that made my heart fear.

  “Em?”

  “Hmm?” I asked looking up from my coffee.

  “I need to ask you a question.”

  “Okay. What?” I felt queasy about where this was heading.

  “Do you love Jake? Is he the man you see yourself with, for the rest of your life?” Such a matter-of-fact question caused me to burn my lips taking an unintentional gulp of hot coffee.

  “What? Where did that come from? Why are you asking?”

  “Just answer. Do you love Jake?
If he proposed to you today, can you say ‘yes’?” He was now demanding an answer from me rather than just asking. His demeanor turned abrasive and yet there was fear in his eyes.

  “Max. I don’t know why this concerns you.”

  Max glared at me and I hesitated but answered his question.

  “No,” I answered softly. “Not yet. I mean… I don’t know. We just started dating.”

  “You’ve been dating for a while. Didn’t you tell me that you loved me from the moment we met?”

  My unconvincing first answer obviously gave him courage to move forward with this conversation.

  “Yes, but what does that have to do with this situation? Not every love is love at first sight. With us, we spent every waking moment together. With Jake, it’s different. He’s so busy I feel like we’re just getting to know one another.”

  “We would’ve spent every moment together if you weren’t so stubborn.”

  I ignored his last comment.

  “Max, I really like Jake. You know how introverted and shy I am. He’s the only person I’ve dated since we broke up. When we’re together I feel like… like I’m with my family … like I’m home… He makes me feel…”

  “Yeah, yeah. You made yourself clear last time when you told me how he makes you feel comfortable and secure.” He imitated my tone. “I can’t believe after four years together, you tell me now that you were never comfortable with me, that I never made you feel secure.”

  “I never said I didn’t feel comfortable with you!” I shot back. “I loved you more than anyone in this world. You were the most important person to me.” The tears began. “What I said was I never thought you felt the same way about me. I was never the most important person in your world and now I understand why. You have your family. I technically was not your family. Why would you put me above the people you grew up with your entire life? I don’t fault you for this. I was just stating a fact.”