Indelible Love - Emily's Story

by D. W. Cee

  Jake grudgingly let go of me and I jumped up out of bed reassembling my dress. I couldn’t help but laugh at his surly face. “Jake…” His once complacent look turned into a scowl as we were about to leave his room. “Jake. Can I give you your Christmas present before we go down?”

  His face lit up instantly. I walked over to my purse and brought out a journal that wasn’t wrapped but tied together nicely with ribbon and a big bow.

  “You have to promise me one thing,” I said before giving him the present.

  “Okay. I promise.” So cute, he sounded like a little boy agreeing to anything so he could open his Christmas gift.

  “This is a journal I started writing soon after we met. I wrote in it after every date or conversation or even a fight. My initial intention was to journal my feelings and thoughts. This wasn’t written for anyone to read but myself. When I thought about what I wanted to give you for Christmas, I knew you would most appreciate my heart. Whatever I felt during our two months together… it’s all in here.”

  My boyfriend looked stunned. He probably never imagined I would give him so much of myself emotionally. Rather than taking the present he came over and held me in his arms instead. I knew this man loved me unendingly. I too loved him just as much.

  “I’m sorry I’m so frustrating. You’re a patient man to deal with someone so indecisive. This journal will hopefully answer all your questions and take away any doubt you might still have about us.”

  His arms stayed locked on my body.

  “Okay, so back to the promise.” I pulled myself away from him. “You can’t read this till after I leave.”

  “Why not? If you wrote it you know everything that’s in there.”

  “It’s embarrassing. You can enjoy it when I’m not around. I also don’t want to see your ego blowing up page by page. Your head may burst.”

  “Can I take a peak before dinner?”

  “No. I’m taking this back if you don’t keep your promise.”

  “Alright. I promise. I can’t wait to read it.” He had an eager smile.

  “I’ll leave it over here on your bookcase.”

  We started walking out and I stopped him one more time wanting to declare what was in my heart. “I love you Jake, and I’m really happy to be here with you.” He swept me off my feet again and tried to take me back to his bed, but I forced him downstairs.

  There were 23 of us at the regal dining table. I met every aunt, uncle and cousin who lived within a two hour radius of Jake’s house. Sandy put us at the middle of the table so that I could converse with as many family members as possible. I learned that Bobby was the oldest of five brothers and none of the children were married yet. They ranged from eighteen to thirty, with Jake being the oldest. Jake sat to my right along with Uncle Roy, Aunt Pattie and their three grown children. Then there was Uncle Billy and Aunt Sandra with their two college age children. Sandy, Bobby, Jane and Nick sat together. Uncle Dave and Aunt Debbie brought only two of their four college kids. Then the Chief, Aunt Barbara and their children, Doug and Lane sat to my left. The Chief kept me entertained with stories of all the nurses, interns and female doctors who had tried to woo Jake since he got to the hospital.

  “So Emily, are you coming to the pre party and football game with all of us on New Year’s Day?” Chief Reid asked.

  “Um, I don’t think so. I wasn’t invited.”

  He scolded Jake. “Why haven’t you invited this stunning lady to our New Year’s party and game day festivities?”

  “Well, I haven’t asked her because I myself wasn’t invited. You have me working that day, remember? Will you give me that day off so I can go see the game?”

  “Are you scheduled to work? I could possibly give you the day off and put someone else to work. Do you want to go to the game?”

  “Actually, I’d be happy to work on New Year’s Day if you are willing to give me MLK weekend off.”

  “Jake!” Jane complained from across of the table.

  “That sounds good to me,” the Chief answered.

  “Fantastic!” Jake glanced over at Jane and gloated.

  To my delight, Jake’s grandmother called during dinner. He had never spoken of any grandparents so I didn’t realize she was still living. Bobby answered the phone and greeted her but quickly turned the phone over to Jake.

  “Son, Gram wants to talk to her favorite grandchild.”

  “That would be me,” Jake announced to the family with a smug look.

  “Hi Gram!” Before he could say much more, he answered, “uh-huh” and handed the phone over to me. “She wants to talk to you.”

  “Me?”

  “Yup. You.”

  A bit scared I started my conversation. “Hello Gram, this is Emily. It’s very nice to meet you.”

  “Emily, I’ve been waiting since David’s birthday to talk to you. Why haven’t you called me?” I took her question as a scolding.

  Timidly I answered, “I’m very sorry Gram but Jake never told me I was supposed to call you. But I’m thrilled to meet you. I lived with my grandmother since I was thirteen. Talking to you makes me miss her so much.”

  “Is she still alive?”

  “No,” I answered tearfully, “she passed away a few years ago. Gram, why aren’t you here with the family? I wish I could have met you too.”

  “I live in London. It’s too far for me to travel. Why don’t you come see me, Emily? Jakey tells me you’re more beautiful than I am and that he loves you even more than he loves me.” She didn’t sound too happy about this.

  I gave Jake a how could you look. His shoulders shrugged into a what did I do? look.

  “Oh Gram, Jake can be silly at times. How can he possibly think he loves anyone more than his grandmother? Plus, I’m not that pretty. It’s only in Jake’s eyes.”

  “You are too. You’re gorgeous!” Jake interjected before my thought was over. I pinched his arm and gave him a be quiet look.

  “I’ve never seen such a beautiful family as the Reid family. I’m sure that’s all a credit to you. Gram, can you send me a picture of yourself?”

  Content with my soothing words, she answered, “I’ll have my assistant take a picture of me and email it to Jake. So when can you come see me?”

  “Well, my vacation is almost over but I can come at the end of March during spring break. Would that be okay? Should I bring Jake or come by myself?” I kidded.

  “Gram, I want to come too,” he whined into the mouthpiece.

  “You can bring him if he’s good to you. Is my Jakey treating you well?”

  “He was treating me very well till this morning, Gram.”

  Gram sounded aghast. Jake looked horrified.

  “What happened Emily? What did he do to you?”

  “He was mean to me and he made me cry.” I added melancholy for special effects. I noticed the entire family had stopped eating, talking, and whatever else they were doing and stared at Jake.

  “Oh my gosh, Emily! I can’t believe you just told everyone I made you cry this morning.” Appalled he didn’t know what to say. All the aunts accepted my accusation and began scolding Jake.

  “But you did,” I answered in my saddest voice.

  Back to my conversation with Gram, I said, “Anyhow, I’m going to come see you soon and as to whether I will bring Jake, I’ll think about it.”

  “Emily, are you going to marry my grandson?” Wow – like grandma, like grandson. She didn’t beat around the bush.

  “I hope so, Gram. I’m not sure yet. You’ll be the second to know when I decide. Gram, I’ll get your phone number from Jake and call you again. I think I have to get off. Jake’s a bit upset with me. Thank you for talking to me.”

  With that I got off the phone and sat as a spectator watching Jake get himself out of trouble.

  “Emily, will you please explain, it was me who should’ve been crying this morning and not you?”

  I shrugged my shoulder, winked, and mouthed “I love you,” then went bac
k to enjoying my meal.

  When dinner was over, we all played a mean game of White Elephant. The Reid family was ruthless stealing from each other the few prized items that Sandy added to the pile. The most coveted prize was two floor seats to a Laker game. Doug ended up as the grand prize winner. Most of us got ugly chotchkies that would quickly be thrown away at home. Jake actually won a great bottle of wine which he handed over to Chief Reid as a bribe to try and get New Year’s Eve off. He gladly took the wine but not the bribe.

  I stayed as long as I could then hugged Sandy, Bobby and Nick good bye as they went up to their rooms for the night. I turned to Jane and promised her quality time in New York even with her brother in tow.

  Our dinner conversation with Gram seemed all but forgotten, or so I thought, when I turned to say goodbye to Jake. I took a step forward as he took a step backwards dodging my attempted embrace. Confounded I waited with my arms wide open.

  “I can’t believe you threw me under the bus today.” Oh so that’s what this was all about. “You’re so lucky I didn’t tell my whole family how you chopped up my proposal and my heart into pieces.

  Cuddling up to him, I used my most alluring voice to appease him. “What can I do to make things better? I’ll make it up to you. I’m sorry I got you into trouble but you were a complete gentleman for not giving me away.” I added a few kisses to buffer.

  “Stay the night with me.” This was more a demand than a request.

  During my moment’s hesitation, Jake swept me off my feet, carried me up the stairs, and took me to his bed. The words ‘I can’t’ and ‘I have to go’ waited for their cue but stayed frozen on my tongue. In silence we headed towards a path with no recourse. Until I met Jake, I believed I would stay spotless till I said, “I do.” Until now, I’d never wanted to change my novice status but at this moment, I wanted nothing more than to be with him. My mind was made up – tonight, we would express our love for one another.

  The excitement in Jake’s eyes mirrored my own. His caresses began on my face. His mouth was soft. Savoring each kiss, his lips brushed over every part of my face. Hungrily my mouth reached for his hoping to kiss him but he gently grazed my lips and moved on. Gentle. This word best described Jake’s every move tonight. In earnest resolve – a synonym if there ever was one - he moved ever so slowly and gently for me.

  Repeating his earlier steps of unbuttoning my dress, his lips stopped traveling and my body lay still. His eyes stayed glued on mine. I briefly thought about my mom and what she would have said if I told her what I wanted to do tonight. I wasn’t sure if she would have encouraged me or discouraged me. My mind also drifted to my conscience. As much as my body desired to love and be loved tonight, there was a part of me - unsettled – like I was betraying myself in some way. When my mind came back to the moment at hand, I realized Jake had begun redressing me. He gazed lovingly into my eyes.

  “Jake?” I whispered his name. “What’s the matter?”

  “Emily, I’m content to just be with you tonight. We don’t have to do anything else.”

  “Why? What’s wrong?”

  “Sweetheart, as difficult as this is for me, I want to keep you as you are until we get married – and trust me, we will get married.”

  “Jake… I’m okay. I want to do this for you… with you. I’d like to be with you tonight.” No matter how much I wanted to sound confused, his intentions were clear.

  “Emily, I’m going to honor your wishes. That’s how much I love you,” he answered with regret written all over his face.

  Almost every part of me wanted to be with Jake. He must have somehow read that tiny part of me that regretted saying yes. I loved Jake for knowing me so well. I loved him for wanting to help me keep my promise to myself and to my mom, no matter how difficult it was for him. But most of all, I loved him for loving me so much. Tonight I knew if I were to ever walk down the aisle, he would be the one at the altar waiting for me. I knew that’s how much I loved him.

  My eyes opened to a frantic thought. Road Trip. Oh my gosh, I wasn’t ready to leave and all my friends would be waiting for me at the house.

  “Jake, Jake! I have to go. I haven’t packed for my road trip and we’re leaving in half an hour.”

  “What? You’re going somewhere?” This was a change. He sounded groggy and I was wide awake at six in the morning.

  “I’m going to Vegas to watch the football game with my college friends, remember? I have to leave right now.”

  “Don’t go. Stay with me.” He held me prisoner in his arms – a happy prisoner. “How am I to go several days without seeing your beautiful face?”

  “Jake, let’s be real. You won’t see me for three days whether or not I’m in town. I don’t think Chief Reid is going to let you leave the hospital for a week at least.”

  “Stay a little longer. I’ll fly you out to Vegas later today.”

  “No. I have to go. Sarah will be waiting. I’m getting up and leaving, okay?”

  “Should I come with you?”

  “No. Stay in bed.”

  “I mean to Vegas.”

  “Jake. Don’t be silly. I’ll call you later. I love you.” I ran out the door and rushed home.

  Chapter 8 Road Trip

  Within minutes I was home, showered and packed in time for my friends to arrive. Though I didn’t want to be away from Jake, I looked forward to seeing my friends again.

  6:30 am.

  Ding Dong! Ding Dong! Right on time. I was looking forward to spending some time with Sarah and getting her caught up on all the craziness of the last five days. She would be able to help me focus and sort out my feelings. I opened the door and to my surprise it was Jake.

  “Good morning, my love.” Jake planted a kiss on my lips. “I wanted to stop by and see your face before you left.”

  “Didn’t you just see my face? Didn’t we see each other the whole night?”

  “Love, I’ve never slept as well as I did last night. We’re going to have to have more slumber parties.” He grinned at me. “Here, I brought you your favorite breakfast.” He handed me an almond croissant and a latte. My stomach growling, I was grateful for the food. “How did you sleep last night? You claim you don’t sleep too well outside of your own bed.” He obviously doubted my original claim.

  This was a tough question to answer. In all honesty, last night was the best night’s sleep – ever! It felt so right to be with him in his bed, to be held by the man who adored me. But, if I admitted this to him, he would want to sleep together every night and I didn’t think I could resist the temptation. I had fallen once only to be rescued by Jake of all people. Next time he would not be such a Good Samaritan.

  “Well? How did you sleep?”

  “I’m going to plead the fifth on your question.”

  “Why? Could it be because you enjoyed it as much as I did?” His lips slowly widened to a grin.

  “No comment.” I answered with a grin of my own. “Don’t you need to get to the hospital early and prep or something?”

  “No. The rest of the surgical team does that. I walk in whenever they’re done and perform the operation. Today’s a routine heart surgery. Nothing too complicated.”

  Of course it wasn’t too complicated for him. He would probably be the one to take over for the Chief if he were to step down. Chief Reid had filled me in on Jake’s important role at the hospital. Before last night, I wasn’t quite aware of what a coveted doctor I was dating. His modesty made me appreciate him even more.

  “Hey, Emi? Guess What?”

  “What?” I asked.

  “The Chief just called me with some good news.”

  “Oh?”

  “Well, there’s this heart association conference in Paris he wants me to attend. He was going to go himself but has a conflict now with some important hospital board meeting. He called to see if I was available.”

  “That’s wonderful. I’m sure it will be a great experience for you. Though, I’ll miss you while you’re gone.
” I hoped I didn’t sound too sad at the thought of him leaving me. I didn’t want him to miss anything on my account.

  “Emily. I’m not going to Paris without you. How could you think I could be apart from you for that long? The Chief is quite smitten with you and told me to take you along. He’s transferred his ticket and hotel room over to my name. I’ll just buy you a ticket. What shall we do about the one room? Can we stay together in the same room?” His eyes were hopeful.

  “Jake, I don’t know what to say. I don’t think I can get a whole week off from work. Besides, it sounds kind of dangerous, the two of us in Paris,” I teased. “Who knows what kind of concessions I’ll make in such a romantic city, especially if we only have one room?” I flirted with his hope.

  “I like the sound of that.” He said hugging me. “Let’s go to Paris then we can go visit Gram in London. She really liked you. Dad told me she called early this morning to tell him how wonderful she thought you were. My whole family loved you.”

  “Oh, I’m relieved to know I passed the test. I do want to meet Gram. I’ll work on getting that week off. I’ll let you know as soon as school starts.”

  “So I have a question that wasn’t answered yesterday while you had us broken up in your own mind.” He shook his head looking at me as though I were crazy.

  I shrugged my shoulders and raised my eyebrows as a combined apology and what else was I to think, response.

  “When did you know you loved me and why didn’t you tell me this monumental information before?”

  “I’ve known for a while but couldn’t admit it to myself till the night before we left for Hawaii. At the sushi restaurant when you were asking me about my family, I appreciated how much you cared for me and how you empathized with my every joy and heartache. I, too, wanted to be there for every part of your life. I knew that I would laugh when you laughed and cry when you cried. That’s when I finally admitted that I had fallen in love with you.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Well, I kind of waited for you to say it first so I could reciprocate but you never told me you loved me in Hawaii.” I shrugged my shoulders again. “I felt a bit self conscious bringing it up out of nowhere.”