Indelible Love - Emily's Story

by D. W. Cee

  I tried to send him away.

  “Jake, there’s no room in here for you. Where will you sleep?”

  “Gram, I can’t believe you let Emi in here but not your favorite grandson. Either I bring my own mattress and sleep between you two or Emi has to move back to the guest room. That’s not fair,” he whined.

  “How old are you? You sound like a 5 year-old.” I pretended to scold. But, Gram and I both couldn’t resist him. We gave in to his tantrum.

  Jake and the butler brought in the mattress and the box spring and placed it between Grams and myself.

  “What, no bed frame?” I asked.

  “I was tempted but the butler looked annoyed with me so I thought I’d stop here.”

  So here we were - Gram, Jake, and me sleeping next to one another on three separated beds. It was a Kodak moment.

  I asked Gram to tell me stories about Jake’s late Grandfather and she started and ended about the same time. She was so exhausted from the day, she fell right asleep. Jake swiftly jumped onto my twin size mattress and cuddled me.

  “I knew this would happen. The minute her head hits the pillow, Gram is out. We finally get some alone time. I don’t think I’ve touched you since we got to London.”

  “Is this why you wanted to sleep in this room? I’m still upset with you for your indiscretionary confession about my lack of experience. I told you I’m not letting you touch me till we get married.

  He paid no attention. “We can change…” his lips started on the hollow of my neck, “your lack of experience status…” I became immobilized by his mouth devouring every inch, “right now if you like.”

  “Are… you… nuts…?” I said talking slowly, breathing heavily. “Gram is five feet away from us.” And yet, I didn’t refuse him. “You can stay here for a bit but you need to move back down to your bed.”

  I could hear Jake’s silent laugh. He knew I wanted his lips to stay on my body the entire night if possible. I feigned a white flag and allowed Jake to stay with me the rest of the night. I had the best night’s rest since we got to Europe.

  We left for Heathrow early in the morning but Gram chose not to fly back with us. She had too many loose ends to tie up before coming to the states. She promised to come in two weeks. On our way to the airport Jake brought up a thought that was on the forefront of my mind.

  “Emi? When do you want to go see your parents? Don’t you think I should meet them before we get married?”

  I instantly started to cry.

  “Love, why are you crying?”

  “Because I missed them so much when I was in Japan. I almost flew to Texas one of the weekends to apologize to them. Last time I was there, I said a lot of hurtful things and was really mean to them. Those words have haunted me for months.”

  “What did you say to them?” With his arms around me, I tried to feel comforted.

  “I ranted like a child about them being happily together while leaving me by myself, miserable. I apologized in the end but I’m sure my parents were up in heaven crying with me.”

  “Let’s go make things right and I need to apologize as well. I’m sure they’re not too happy with me since I’m the one who made you three cry. Can we postpone New York and stop by Texas instead? From there we will go home.”

  “Thank you, Jake. I would love that.”

  “There’s nothing to thank. Remember, we are a family now. Just like you treat my parents as your own, I will do the same with your parents.”

  Chapter 19 Texas Revisited

  Before we got to the gravesite, we picked up some yellow Gerber daisies and I prepared my heart to see Mom and Dad again. Coming here always brought joy and sorrow. When I stood before my parents’ graves, I could feel their warmth around me. This warmth surrounded me and loved me almost as acutely as if they were standing right next to me. But, after the initial joy, I was all too aware that my parents were not with me anymore and nothing I did or felt would bring them back. I wondered what it would be like seeing them with Jake – my comfort, my future husband.

  “You are in such deep thought. What are you musing over?” We were almost where my parents lay.

  “Even with you by my side, I was wondering whether I would still be sad when I saw them.”

  “Why would you be sad?” Not having lost a parent, this was a part of me Jake could never fully understand.

  “I’m usually elated to be with them but some time during the visit; I get sad knowing I have to leave them here. They can never go back with me. I can’t ever bring them back to life.”

  A compassionate expression and a loving embrace was his answer to my pain.

  “Jake,” I turned to him as we stood before my parents, “these are my parents. Mom. Dad. I want to introduce you to Jake. This is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

  Jake started talking to Mom and Dad and it looked like he was going to tell them about our entire courtship.

  “Hello Mr. and Mrs. Logan. My name is Jake Reid and I am late but here to ask you for Emily’s hand in marriage. I’m sorry I didn’t come earlier to ask for your permission. I should have been here back on New Year’s Day with Emily but I was a fool. I’ve hurt Emily a lot since Christmas but I promise you I will love your daughter as much as you love her if you’ll allow me to marry her. I’ll take care of her and protect her from any harm. I’ll make sure to love her so fully and completely that when she comes to see you in the future, she won’t leave sad, missing your love. Thank you for bringing her up so beautifully. Emily has an incredible warmth and sincerity I’m sure she learned from the both of you.”

  Momma. Daddy. Isn’t he wonderful? Thank you for helping me get Jake back in my life and I’m sorry I was so mean to you the last time I was here. You don’t know how much I regretted my words. I know you both only want the best for me and I know it hurts you to see me alone. What do you think of Jake? Isn’t he handsome, Momma? I wish you could both be here and experience this joy with me. Oh, Daddy… who will walk me down the aisle?

  Jake stopped talking to my parents as soon as he heard me cry.

  “What’s the matter, Emi?” He hugged me. “I really should carry a pack of tissues around with me. You cry way too easily.” He lightly chuckled and kissed my forehead.

  “I was just asking my dad who will walk me down the aisle?” How ironic I would feel so sad about walking down the aisle – a walk that would begin my forever with Jake.

  “You know my Dad would love to walk you down. You can also walk down on your own and that would make a beautiful statement of how strong you have been, coming this far on your own. We have a few weeks. Let’s think about it. You interrupted my conversation with your parents. I finished telling them how we met and I was getting to our botched weekend in Bacara.”

  He turned to talk to them some more. I heard him talking but went into my own thoughts.

  “So, Mom, I was wondering when Emily developed such a foodie taste bud? Has she always liked food this much? I sent her to Le Bernardin when she was in New York and you wouldn’t believe the texts I got from her. She sent me a whole blog of each and every item she ate.”

  Do you like him, Momma? After I left you here, I went to Japan and spent four months teaching. Alone but grateful to experience another culture, I traveled throughout the country. Can you believe I did this by myself? I also ate some delicious food. Oh, I didn’t tell you. Sarah and Charlie finally got married a few weeks ago. They are in a state of bliss.

  “After many months of searching for her,” I heard Jake ramble, “I finally got help from Max – yes, Max – and found your daughter hidden away in Japan. She was, of course, at a restaurant ready to eat another 10+ course meal. I honestly don’t know where she hides all those calories. I know the beauty comes from Mom, but where do those metabolisms come from?”

  I laughed to myself. Jake was sitting right in between both my parents grave explaining our entire seventh month dating / broken up days.

  Almost an hour lat
er, I heard Jake say, “I going to assume you love me like my parents love Emily and are giving us your blessing to get married. I know it broke your heart to leave her so early but I promise to make up for your absence. I will take good care of her. Thank you for Emily and I love you both.

  Are you smiling right now? Only you could send me someone who would try to completely fill your void. From now on, I’ll come here happy and leave happy. I’ll miss you but I won’t feel alone anymore. Thank you, Momma. Thank you, Daddy. We’ll be back often and one day soon, I hope to be back with a baby. Can you believe you’ll be grandparents? I love you both.

  As soon as I was done, Jake looked at me and all I could say was, “I’m hungry. Let’s go have steak.”

  He shook his head and laughed.

  Chapter 20 Wedding Preparations

  It was Sunday afternoon when we arrived at Jake’s parents’ house. We got a warm welcome home. Jake had me use his room while he took up residence in Nick’s room. I unpacked, started laundry and gave Sandy and Bobby their gifts. My fiancé was fast asleep on Nick’s bed when I went to check up on him. Kissing his forehead and placing the blanket on him I closed the door wondering what I should do next.

  Sleep did not seem to be a part of my plan tonight so I went downstairs to the kitchen and started making croissants for breakfast. Knowing that the dough needed to rise, I started early in order to have it ready for Jake when he left for his 6:00am surgery. After mixing the dough I let it sit as Sandy came over to the barstool and chatted with me about life in the Reid household during my five month absence.

  “Emily, Bobby and I are both so relieved you and Jake are back together. I wish I could have videotaped Jake’s moods swings while you were gone. It felt like we were living with a depressed teenager.” She laughed as she went into specifics about Jake’s behavior. Bobby came over and joined our conversation Sandy started her lively stories. “Right after you left, Jake was so distraught we didn’t know what to do with him. Here was a grown adult suffering like a little child. He disappeared for about a week and only through Laney did we find out that he was searching for you in Japan. When he returned unsuccessful, he barely spoke to us or anyone else for that matter.”

  “I’m sorry you had to suffer along with us.” I gave them my most apologetic look.

  “Well, it got better once he got your letter. He smiled and spoke again like a normal human being. Then came the angst filled days of waiting for more letters that never came.”

  “Yeah, it got ugly again when you didn’t write to him anymore.” Bobby laughed. “Poor Jane and Nick. Jake hounded them daily asking them if they had received one of your letters. Jane would scan your letter and email it to Jake even before she got a chance to read them.”

  Sandy chuckled along with Bobby. “What about Nick? Jake forced him to drive your letter over whenever he got one. Oh, and then there was the birthday card and present you sent to our house.”

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “Because he had been so melancholy, I threw him a birthday party on the day of his birthday to cheer him up. He protested but seemed to be having a decent time with all his friends and relatives. In the middle of the party, the mailman came with your card and gift. Jake was thrilled!” Sandy started the story and Bobby chimed in to finish.

  “We saw him open the card but he instantly disappeared. Sandy and I went up to see what he was doing and we found him at his desk crying.” This revelation immediately brought tears to my eyes.

  Sandy continued, “I hadn’t seen him cry since grade school. Jake explained to us about your birthdays and how it grieved him to think about you being alone on your birthday. He deeply loves you, Emily. I’ve never seen him so affected by anyone as he has been with you.” Sandy had suffered seeing her son so badly hurt.

  I hugged Sandy. “I love him with all my heart, too. I promise I’ll take good care him.”

  “Anyhow, the party was pretty much over and Jake was in a foul mood the rest of the time till he found you again.” Bobby finished the story. “Not till you left him did I realize how much of a sulker my son could be.”

  “Yeah, I’ve seen firsthand Jake’s childish tantrums when he doesn’t get his way. Although, to be honest with you, I find it adorable.” A grin marked my face.

  “Only you find it cute. The rest of us find him to be a pain.” Sandy shook her head. “He was a mess. You need to take him off our hands. We cannot live with Jake, without you now.” The three of us shared a hearty laugh.

  After our conversation I went upstairs and checked my email. There were 87 emails waiting for my response. Half of it was junk but the other half I needed to answer immediately. Many of my students from Japan emailed telling me how much they missed me and asked when I would come back and teach them again. The feeling was mutual but truth be told, I wouldn’t trade my life with Jake right now for anything or anybody. While online, Sarah and Max began chatting with me and we set up a dinner date for tomorrow night.

  Looking at the time, I rushed back downstairs and lightly floured the huge marble island. I shaped the dough into a rectangle and covered it with a plastic wrap and placed it back into the fridge. While waiting for the dough to rise again, I surveyed Jake’s room and cleaned up all the clutter lying around. I rearranged his closet, refolded his clothes in the dresser drawers, and ironed all the washed but wrinkled scrubs. Jake had also thrown around his watches in the jewelry drawer so I rolled them back up and put them in its proper place. His cuff links got the same treatment. Color coordinated, the ties hung neatly and the belts hung right next to them. The men’s department at Neiman’s didn’t look this good. The type A side of me shined tonight. After two hours, I was finally satisfied with the closet makeover.

  The dough was probably ready to be laminated so I went back to the kitchen. Unwrapping the dough and placing it back on the floured surface, I rolled it out, folded and refolded with insane amounts of butter. I hoped Sandy wasn’t planning on using this butter anytime soon because it was all consumed. I cut the dough into triangles and made a third of them plain, a third had chopped Callebaut dark chocolate, and a third had almond paste and sliced almonds in them. They looked delicious sitting on the baking sheet while the oven warmed to 425 degrees.

  Jake ran downstairs in his bathrobe looking a bit frazzled.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “I came looking for you in my bedroom but you weren’t there so I got worried.”

  “Did you think your bride got cold feet and ran away?” What a ridiculous thought.

  Jake’s wrinkled face smoothed out as he came over and squeezed his arms around my body.

  “Good morning, Beautiful.”

  “Good morning. You fell asleep at 4:00 in the afternoon, yesterday. Are you well rested?”

  “Yeah. I feel good. Did you sleep at all last night? I noticed that you ransacked my room then put it back together in a scary way. Are you normally this neurotic?”

  “No. I hope you don’t mind. I couldn’t sleep so I kept myself busy between your room and these croissants.” Though I hated to pull myself away from the love of my life, the croissants were ready to go into the oven. “You have a moment? I need to ask you something.”

  “Okay. Shoot.”

  “My tenant emailed saying that her job will keep her in LA one more year. She wanted to know if she could lease my house during that time. What should we do?”

  “If you don’t mind her staying another year, we could move into my house in the valley. We’ll kick everyone out and refurnish it.”

  “Well, I was thinking of asking your parents if we could stay here for a year. You know I grew up lonely and I like the thought of living with your parents. Would you mind?”

  “I’m okay, but are you sure? Jane and Nick might move back in for a while too.”

  “I’d love nothing more than a big family.”

  Jake smiled and hugged me again – partly because he appreciated my love for his family, and partly beca
use he felt sad when I talked about loneliness. I hugged him back.

  “Go change. I’ll have breakfast ready for you.” I sent him back upstairs and began laying out my spread.

  The Sub Zero fridge had a variety of vegetables so breakfast included a veggie omelet in addition to the croissants. Jake came down in his scrubs, ready for work. He sat on the bar stool around the island and I handed him the veggie omelet, a variety of croissants, and french pressed coffee. Moving into Bobby and Sandy’s home was most definitely a good idea. We felt like a married couple already.

  As Jake ate, we heard the door open and Nick’s voice boomed across the large living room and into the dining room. “What is this delicious smell?”

  “Nick,” I exclaimed, walking over to hug him.

  “Hi Sis. How was your trip? You’ve gotten prettier since I last saw you in New York!”

  “You’re such a charmer. I guess when personality genes were handed out, it all went to you?”

  “Not just personality, looks and brain as well. I don’t know what my siblings got. I obviously got all the best.” All three of us laughed at his humor.

  “What are you doing here so early in the morning?” We both asked.

  “I’m off on a camping trip and I needed my hiking boots. I see I came at the right time. These croissants are delicious.” He took another mouth full.

  “Emily baked these just now,” Jake proudly declared.

  “No way, from scratch? How long did this take you?” Nick seemed pleased to have another cook in the house.

  “I’ve been working on it since yesterday. Take some for your trip. I’ll pack them up for you. Do you want some coffee as well?”

  “You’re the best, Sis. I think I'll move back in the house if you’re cooking.”

  Nick’s loud voice woke up Bobby and Sandy and they, too, raved about the croissants. Sandy and Bobby relived many more Jake while Emily was in Japan, stories and we had a very early but entertaining breakfast. We, in this case, did not include Jake. He didn’t find any of these stories as comical as we did.