Embracing Humanity (Embracing Shadows Book 2)

by Night, Ash

  “No, no, I still can’t feel his mind.” His voice froze me. It was almost like he was accepting his brother might be dead. Abruptly, snapping out of his trance, he looked at me. “You should get ready for school.”

  I kissed his cheek. “Go hunt some more,”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Aubrey said, hugging me tight. “I’ll only be gone half an hour.”

  “Take as long as you need. I can drive myself to school.”

  He tried to grin, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Lauren would stake me for sure.”

  “Nah, she’s a pyro. She prefers a bonfire. It’ll take some time for her to build a nest of sticks.” I said, crushing myself to him. “I know not having Alex here is hurting you. Please take the day off to go look for him.”

  He swept me up in a hug, his lips colliding with mine. His kiss was sweet, but I felt his need behind it. He was ravenous in both his hunger and his desire. He wanted me and I knew I could satisfy at least one need.

  “Do you want some?” I held up my wrist. I could see the pained look in his eyes as they fell on the pale tracery of veins under my skin.

  He tensed, a stone Adonis, as he kissed my wrist. “I can’t,”

  “Why?” I felt oddly rejected, as if I were standing before him naked.

  “Erin, I love you. I can’t take your blood out of desperation. The first time needs to be special. Drinking the blood of the one you love is a special moment. I had planned to light candles and everything. It’ll be worth the wait. I promise.”

  “Candles?” A thrill went through me. The hopeless romantic in me was screaming inside.

  “I love you, my love.” He kissed me and then I was alone.

  “Special? Erin, if he hurts you, I will personally rip his heart out and feed it to a wood chipper.” Lauren’s usual joking manner was gone. She was completely serious. I was glad I’d kept the time with Alex a secret.

  I placed a hand on hers. “Lauren, I swear to you, Aubrey will never hurt me.”

  “You’re asking him to drink your blood! How is that not hurting you?” A few heads turned in our direction. “We’re rehearsing lines for a play at a local theater! Now all of you mind your own damn business!” The anger in her voice took me by surprise. The students quickly returned to their work.

  “He won’t.” I said firmly, my eyes never leaving hers. “Lauren, please trust me.”

  “You’re asking me to trust him with that? Dammit, Erin! Don’t you get it? I can’t!”

  “Why not?” I yelled, exasperated. “I thought you trusted Aubrey. He’s your friend!”

  “Girls, please keep it down.” Mrs. Alan said sternly.

  “Sorry, Mrs. Alan.” I said. Lauren was too angry to answer. I looked at her, pleading her to understand. I sighed, hoping for a miracle that my plan would work. “Mrs. Alan, may Lauren and I go practice in the hall?”

  “Sure girls, just please keep the volume to a minimum.”

  I smiled at her as Lauren got up and walked with me out into the hallway. I shut the door before facing my best friend. “Lauren, why don’t you trust him?”

  She scowled. “In Aubrey’s house a few months ago, you had a panic attack.”

  “I said I was sorry.” I fidgeted at the memory. I had that panic attack because Aubrey was gone and my nightmares were getting worse. I was terrified of getting locked up again without Aubrey to help me.

  Her green eyes blazed. “That doesn’t change the fact that it scared the hell out of me, Erin! You’re my best friend. We’ve been friends since we were a few months old. I love you. I…I can’t let him destroy you.” The blaze quickly turned to tears.

  I hugged her. “He won’t. I swear on my life.”

  “You better be right or I will go all Buffy on his ass.”

  I giggled, glad for the release of tension. “Since you brought it up, how about we marathon it for our next girls’ night?”

  “Sure,” she said smiling. We talked about how hot Angel was for a while and then walked back into the classroom.

  “All done, girls?” Mrs. Alan asked.

  “Yeah, it went great. I think we got this, Mrs. Alan. Thanks for letting us practice in the hall.” Lauren replied as we made our way back to our seats.

  “You’re very welcome,”

  I smiled at Lauren as I picked up my book and started to read. When the bell rang, I groaned. I’d gotten to an amazing part and I hated the thought of stopping. I got up slowly, noticing I was the only one in the room.

  “You know, I could easily compel them to let you read all day.”

  My book nearly hit the floor as I jumped at the sound of his voice. His hand shot out to grab it and he glanced at the title. I couldn’t tell whether I wanted to hug him or punch him in the face.

  “I would very much like to see you try to punch me.” Alex said with a smirk.

  I settled for hugging him, holding onto him as if he would disappear again at any moment. “Where were you? Aubrey and I were worried!”

  He wrapped his arms around me. “I had some things to take care of.”

  “Why did you cut off your link to Aubrey’s mind?”

  Alex tensed. “What? I didn’t.”

  “Aubrey said he had no idea you were even alive. We were worried sick.”

  “Oh…” He furrowed his brow. “That could be a problem later on.”

  I sighed and held onto him. I hated the thought of ever letting him go. I was ninety-nine percent sure I had my feelings for Alex figured out. I knew I loved Aubrey, but a small part of me wanted to know how Alex’s lips would feel against mine. That part terrified me.

  “I love you, sweet pea, but it’s different from when I loved Anastasia. It doesn’t matter anyway. You’re my brother’s girl and I promised I’d try to be good.”

  “I hate myself for feeling that way, Alex. I wish I could turn it off.”

  He smiled. “I could, if you’ll let me.”

  “Compel my feelings away?”

  “Only if you want me to, of course,”

  I bit my lip. “That won’t offend you?”

  “Like I said, my feelings don’t matter.”

  “But they do,” I insisted. “Yours matter just as much as anyone else’s,”

  His lips touched my forehead and I could feel his breath as he chuckled. “You’re such a human, Erin.”

  “So?”

  He leaned against the wall. “I forget how to act human so I just compel everyone to act as I want them to, but you, I could never do that to you. Yours are the only feelings that matter to me.”

  “Your feelings matter to me. Now, would it offend you if I had you compel my feelings for you away?”

  He thought for a moment and I saw a strange mix of emotions cross his face. Relief, anger, sadness…acceptance? It startled me sometimes how much Aubrey and Alex looked like each other.

  “No, sweet pea, it wouldn’t.”

  I sighed in relief. “Good,” My mind felt foggy for a few moments.

  “Ready to go?” Alex asked. We were outside, sitting on the lawn by the soccer field.

  I tried to understand why we were outside. I had just been in the study hall room, hadn’t I? “Sure?”

  Alex smiled easily. “Allow me to drive you home.” I followed him to his car which was in the parking spot where my car should have been. “I swapped our cars before I came to get you.” He explained.

  Alex’s car was a flashy sleek black Jaguar. The quiet engine purred to life as I slid into the passenger seat. The soft black leather seat felt amazing.

  “Wow, nice car.” I said, shutting my door.

  “Thank you, sweet pea.” Alex said as he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road before I could blink. My heart raced the whole way home.

  “Alex, where the hell have you been?” Aubrey asked, somehow sounding angry and relieved at the same time, as Alex came through the door of Aubrey’s house uninvited before I could knock.

  “Around. What I’d like to know is why the hell you w
ould possibly think I was dead. You should know better than that. I’m immortal for a reason.”

  Despite his relief, Aubrey growled in frustration. He blinked as his eyes fell on me. “Hello, Erin. How was school?”

  “Good,” I replied. “I found Alex.”

  “That’s great,” Aubrey said, cracking a smile at my joke. “Alex, explain.”

  “Explain what? You’re not Ricky Ricardo and I sure as hell ain’t Lucy.”

  “Where the hell have you been these past few weeks?” The anger in his voice made me flinch. “You leave like that and then I don’t hear from you and you don’t even have the courtesy of letting me know if you’re alive!”

  Alex reappeared with a drink in his hand. He slowly sipped it through a straw before answering. “Like I told Erin, I didn’t do that. Kistel did.”

  “Wait, Kistel, what? Why would he do that?” I asked.

  Alex grinned. “Because he’s an ass, sweet pea. He used to do it all the time to me when I was little. He’d severe the link I had to Mother and make me think she was dead only to have her walk around the corner carrying a pile of folded clothes. It messed with my head quite a bit.”

  “Sounds horrible,”

  Aubrey went silent. He stared at Alex as if seeing him rise from the dead. He’d really missed his brother. Thinking he was dead but not knowing for sure must have been eating him alive.

  “Brother, don’t look at me that way. If it makes you feel any better, we’re both technically already dead.”

  I sighed. “You could be a little nicer, Alex. Imagine if the shoe were on the other foot.”

  “That shoe would be too small.”

  Lauren sent me a Googled picture of a bonfire to my phone. Alex laughed as he glanced at it over my shoulder. “You’re in trouble now, brother.”

  “The reason I wasn’t in school is all on you.”

  The fight I had with Lauren echoed in my mind. “Um, Aubrey…”

  He sighed. “I knew she’d have a problem with it.”

  “Here’s a tip, sweet pea. Maybe don’t tell your pyromaniac friend your highly flammable vampire boyfriend wants your blood.” Alex grinned.

  “I don’t keep secrets from her.” I said. “That’s why I told her about you, Topaz, and Aubrey in the first place.”

  “Secrets are the secret to a long life.” He replied. “Of course, you have us, so a long life won’t be a problem.”

  “I think it’s great she has someone she can come to with everything.” Aubrey said. “Dealing with us can’t be easy.”

  Alex raised an eyebrow. “Dealing with you and the mutt, you mean.”

  “Like you’re so perfect,”

  “Not what I meant at all, brother. I meant that compared to you and the mutt, it’s hard not to look like I’m easy to deal with.”

  “Oh really?”

  “Of course. I have one simple solution to any problem. You and the mutt, however, insist on having morals which complicates things beyond belief.”

  I smiled to myself as I listened to them bicker back and forth. It was comforting to know they were back to normal. Now Aubrey could rest easy. Opening the fridge, I grabbed a soda. Alex was refilling his drink.

  “Alex, really, where were you all this time?”

  “Doing terrible immoral things to terrible immoral people,”

  “Again, not an answer,”

  “I excel at half answers, sweet pea.”

  I shook my head and followed him into the library. Aubrey was reading a thick tome of a book written in a language I didn’t recognize. “What’s that?”

  “The Russian version of the brothers Grimm. It’s really quite fascinating. I’ll have to read it to you sometime.”

  “Maybe for Halloween?” I asked eagerly. “I’ve never read those versions of the fairy-tales, but I heard they were awesome.”

  Aubrey snapped the book shut with a twisted, amused grin. “They are. I prefer them over the ones you know.” His eyes locked on Alex and they just stared at each other for an unnaturally long time.

  I sighed. Somehow I knew that even if I asked, neither of them were going to tell me what they were talking about. I was just about to finally decide on a book to read when Alex spoke.

  “I don’t even know why I’m trying to explain myself to you, little brother. I shouldn’t have to. I’m the oldest, after all.”

  “Is it so hard to understand why? You’re the only family I have left.”

  Alex walked over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. “She’s family now.”

  “You know what I mean.” Aubrey was getting frustrated. His knuckles went white against the book he held. I wondered if he was going to throw it at Alex.

  Alex grinned, sounding like he was trying to suppress a laugh. “Sweet pea, do you really think he would throw a book at me with you standing so close?”

  “It wouldn’t hit me.” I said.

  “It wouldn’t hit me either, but still.” Alex chuckled. “Of course, throwing a book is nothing. I once buried my brother in a grave while he was passed out drunk in 1935.”

  I stared at him. “You what? Why?”

  “Because he tried to dance with a girl just so I wouldn’t feed off her.” Alex said with a shrug. “He dug himself out a few hours later. It’s not like burying him would have hurt him in any way. Just gave him one hell of a scare.”

  Aubrey laughed. “It did. But at least that girl got home safe.”

  Finishing his drink, Alex frowned. “She was pretty. I wouldn’t have killed her. I would’ve at least played with her for a few weeks.”

  I shivered. “When you say things like that, it still freaks me out.”

  Alex grinned, highly amused by my reaction, and kissed my cheek. “The more to keep you on your toes, sweet pea. Remember, I’m the big bad wolf.”

  My heart sped up as he whispered those words in my ear. Despite having known Aubrey’s secret for a little over six months now, I realized I was still pretty sheltered from his world. This dark world where humans were mere playthings seemed so far removed from mine, yet Alex was a part of that frightening world. It was still a hard thing to wrap my head around and I tried not to think about it too much.

  “Erin, it’s getting late. I should take you home.” Aubrey said, taking the book from my hand. I forgot I’d been holding it.

  “Good night, sweet pea,” Alex smiled, flashing his fangs and hugging me. “It’s been a pleasure.”

  I tried to smile. The vibe I was getting from Alex was unnerving and it was creeping me out. I normally felt so safe around him. “Good night, Alex.”

  Aubrey shot him a glare as he led me out of the room. Confused, I followed him to his truck and tried to figure out the meaning behind it as Aubrey silently drove me home.

  Chapter Nine

  Alex

  “Alex, are you insane? Scaring her? Geez, she already has nightmares!” My brother yelled after he got home from dropping Erin off. We were continuing our silent conversation from earlier, though I wasn’t sure why.

  “Speaking of her nightmares, why did you leave? Don’t you normally stay the night?” I asked, lounging against the wall just to piss him off more.

  “Don’t change the subject! Why the hell did you compel her?”

  I smirked. “You brought up her nightmares.” Before my brother could have an ulcer, I continued. “I said I’d be good. It’s much easier to be good if she doesn’t think she might love me too. It’s really no big deal. It’s a win-win for you. I don’t know why you aren’t thanking me, actually.”

  More frown lines appeared on his forehead and I felt a slight tickle. How cute. He was raising his power against me. “Dammit, Alex! I didn’t want her compelled!”

  “Which leads me back to scaring her.” I said calmly, reaching into the cabinet for another bottle of liquor. The bottle shattered as I was about to set it on the counter. I frowned in disapproval at the alcohol on the floor. “That was a good year.”

  “Tell me why you though
t scaring her was a good idea.” He said between gritted teeth. A vein in his neck throbbed.

  I casually tossed the neck of the broken bottle into the trashcan. “Simple. If she’s afraid, she won’t love me and I can undo the first compulsion.”

  “But if you already compelled her, what’s the point?”

  I sighed. “I thought you’d want me to undo the compulsion.”

  “Of course I do, but she can’t live her life afraid of you. You’re my brother and you’ll one day be her brother-in-law.”

  “Lots of families are dysfunctional.”

  My brother threw up his hands in frustration. “It doesn’t mean we have to be!”

  “Brother, she’s already decided to live a human life. I’ll make her scared of me and then leave. You can deal without me for sixty, seventy years. Kistel will follow me and you and Erin will be able to live perfectly normal, safe human lives in some mundane little town with a white picket fence and two point five adopted kids.”

  The frustration disappeared and was replaced with shock. “You found him, didn’t you? What did he say? Is that what you told him? That you would leave town?”

  I nodded. “Yes,”

  And just like that, my six-year-old brother was back. The fear in his eyes struck my heart like a knife. “No.”

  What do you know? My six-year-old brother had grown a backbone.

  I arched an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

  “Alex, I said no. You are not leaving town. He is not going to make you or me run again. He already made us leave once. I will not run away from my home again.”

  “No one is asking you, dumbass. I’m the only one who has to leave.”

  “What if he hurts you? What if he…”

  I scoffed. “I’m not a little kid. He can’t push me around anymore. That jackass doesn’t have the leverage he used to have.”

  “What about Erin? What if he gets to her?”

  “He won’t. I bound her house to my life. He’d have to kill me to get in.”

  “And at school? At the bookstore? College?”

  I smirked. “We’ll be a hundred miles outside the country by next week.”