Embracing Humanity (Embracing Shadows Book 2)

by Night, Ash

  Are you okay? You look like you’re about to tear that dick’s head off. I agree he’s a total dick for what he did to that girl, but maybe killing him wouldn’t be the best idea in a crowded bar.

  I growled. The boy shank back against the bar, looking like he was about to piss his pants. His buddies were quick to exit the bar. I fought the urge to show him my fangs. Topaz was making his way around the bar to me. He looked ready to drag me outside.

  The rest of the bar was looking at me. Most of them were expecting a fight. The ones that were sober enough to actually be scared made quick excuses to leave. My eyes were fixated on the boy. His blood pumped through his veins in a sweet rhythmic sound. I wanted his blood. I craved it like I’d never craved blood before. I was a man in a desert staring at a waterfall.

  Cora was better off with this idiot dead. She could open up that bookstore she’d always wanted. She could actually fight to stay clean. Brett had sabotaged every attempt she’d made to get clean by telling her she was no fun to be around, that she needed to be high to have fun. He would tell her how sick she would become without it and flaunt the drug in her face while she was going through withdrawals until she broke down and injected the needle into her arm. Every morning she’d tell herself it was the last time and every day she would lie to herself.

  “Excuse my friend. He’s had a very rough day.” Topaz replied after slamming me into the wall. “Outside now.” He hissed at me.

  I waited outside for Topaz for an hour. He came out looking angry and exhausted. I hung my head in shame. “I have no idea why I acted that way. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me.”

  “I spent the last hour compelling everyone in that bar to forget what they saw tonight.”

  “I’m truly sorry, Paz. I really don’t understand what happened to me.”

  He managed a tired smile. “That’s okay, Aubrey. We all have off days. I guess I can’t blame you. You, however, owe me.”

  “You got it.” I said without hesitation.

  He started walking with me down the road. It was a nice, quiet night. “I compelled that dick to be nice to Cora. Cora was worried about you.”

  I smiled. I was happy she thought of me. I enjoyed the girl’s company and hoped to one day see her again. Maybe she and Erin could be friends. Cora needed better friends. “I hope she’ll be happy now.”

  “Actually, I invited her for dinner at my place tomorrow night. You and Erin are invited, of course. It’s your birthday dinner. I had to get you something before you and Erin went on your trip and left me all alone.”

  “Thanks, Paz. I’d love that.”

  He grinned. “I knew you would!”

  We walked in silence for a while. My mind was a flurry of questions. It had been centuries since I’d last tasted human blood. What had made me want it so badly now? The sensation tonight had been different than the sensation at the bookstore. In the bookstore the need for blood had been desperate, a life-or-death response. In the bar the need had been driven purely by rage, more to end my own annoyance than to truly help Cora.

  I had wanted to end Cora’s misery at the hands of that jerk, but in that moment, my true reason for wanting to kill him had been to shut him up. I wanted him dead because he annoyed me. That thought made my stomach turn.

  I hadn’t killed a human since 1861. Even when I fought in the Civil War as a union soldier to end slavery, and the air was thick with blood, it hadn’t tempted me as much as that boy’s blood had in that bar. That idiot would never know how close he’d come to death tonight.

  I looked at my friend. Topaz hadn’t ever killed a human. He had managed to keep his humanity intact despite becoming a creature of the night. There was no denying that becoming a vampire had obviously changed him, but never killing a human was an amazing feat for our kind.

  The number of humans I killed after my mother died was immeasurable. I killed without fear of consequence. Without remorse. The worst thing that could happen to me had happened. My mother had died. I wanted to die. My brother had wanted to as well. He had wanted to die the day she died. He didn’t know I knew, but I did. I’d caught him looking at a fallen tree branch that night after he thought I’d gone to bed.

  I’ll never forget that look he had on his face. For once, Alex’s face was completely readable. I’d never seen him so vulnerable. He had lifted the branch to his chest countless times throughout the night. Each time it fell from his shaking hand just before he summed up the courage to plunge it into his heart. But it wasn’t death he feared. It was letting Mother down. Letting Mother down was something we both feared. Her approval was everything.

  “Juliet loved fireflies,” Topaz said, suddenly, breaking my trip into Self-pity Park. I looked up to see dozens of them floating around us like little blinking stars. I smiled.

  “This girl and I used to see who could catch the most fireflies. Her name was Mabel. She was a girl who lived near us.”

  He smiled. “I miss the good days. What happened to the days where people enjoyed the simple things?”

  “We’re just getting old, Paz.”

  Laying on the grass, he put his hands behind his head. “I’m the Peter Pan of vampires. I ain’t ever growing up.”

  I laughed, joining him on the grass. “Bit of a paradox since we never age.”

  “Aging would have been nice,” Topaz replied. “But being sixteen forever is pretty sweet!”

  I nodded. “I love never growing old. I see everyone I know grow old and all those aches and pains sound horrible.”

  “They are. I watched my foster mother, Mrs. Lovelace, go through horrible pain every day, but she always kept a smile on her face. I remember one day she was in so much pain, she couldn’t even get out of bed. I offered to turn her but she declined. She said she wanted to die one day, to see her family in the afterlife. I just hope she got her wish.”

  “I’m sure she did,”

  The stars twinkled brightly in the sky on this moonless night. The fireflies buzzed around us. I breathed deeply, closing my eyes. Sometimes it was nice just to step away from my life, even for the briefest moment. I dreamed of Erin and me living happily in a little house. We lived close to her friends and she went to college for an undecided major. Alex would drop in whenever and spoil Erin with a special dinner. He was lucky. I never could cook.

  Fantasy was always so much better than reality.

  Chapter Eleven

  Erin

  I woke up slowly, as if I had the flu. My mind felt foggy. The coffee maker hissed. I made my way downstairs, but I couldn’t help but feel uneasy. “Aubrey?”

  “Down here, sweetie. Got the coffee made just the way you like it.”

  I smiled as I turned the corner into the kitchen. “How was your night?”

  “Great, I fell asleep hanging out with Paz in the park. We were both pretty tired. How’d you sleep?” Aubrey asked, handing me my coffee cup. He stirred his coffee with a smile on his face.

  “Good, but I still feel really tired. Do you think you could call me in?” I sipped my coffee slowly. I set it down and pushed it away. My stomach was protesting.

  “Sure, honey. I’ll call school and tell the office you aren’t feeling well. We can spend the day in bed. I’ll hook up the DVD player and we can watch movies. And then, later if you’re feeling up to it, I’ll make you some toast. I can read to you too if you want.”

  “Yes, please.” I said. Picking me up, Aubrey carried me to bed. I snuggled into his chest. Setting me on the bed, he hooked up the DVD player into my bedroom TV and grabbed my pile of DVDs. He smiled as he popped in the first disc of my favorite TV show. I knew he was just suffering through this show for me. He didn’t really care for teenage dramas. “Thank you sweetie.”

  “Anything for you,” he said, cuddling up to me. I watched a few episodes before asking him to read to me. He turned off the TV and read a few chapters.

  The story was about a boy named Peter who, along with a girl named Rosalie, searched for a place to call
home after a comet smashes into Earth and destroys nearly all of the United States’ population. It was a typical ‘characters need each other to survive and they end up falling in love’ kind of story. Ever since I met Aubrey, those stories made a lot of sense. We had finished the book before I knew it.

  “Before I forget, Topaz invited us over for dinner tonight.” Aubrey said.

  “Sounds great,”

  “He says he can’t wait to see us there,”

  I grinned. “Awesome,”

  He kissed my forehead. “You feel a little warm. Why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll go call the office and tell them you aren’t coming in today.”

  “Okay, thank you, hon.” I said, sinking into my bed. I watched Aubrey leave the room and thought how lucky I was to find him in my life. I was really excited for our trip. We were leaving on Monday and would be coming back the following Sunday. Mom had okayed it with the principal. I’d planned to collect all my homework on Friday and have most, if not all of it done, before we left.

  Aubrey’s birthday was next Thursday and I still wasn’t sure what to get him. He lived through so much and been so many places. I thought about throwing him a party, but he’d been acting strange lately. Being around a large group of people probably wasn’t such a good idea.

  I wanted to ask Alex, but, for whatever reason, he was keeping a low profile since I’d seen him a few days ago. I’m sure he was up to no good and I didn’t want to think of what that might entail. Alex was one of my best friends, but he could get extremely scary at times. He was everything a vampire was supposed to be. I preferred Aubrey’s lifestyle choice to his, but Alex was strong enough to protect Aubrey so for that I was grateful.

  “You’re thinking about Alex. Why in the world would anyone think about him?”

  I turned to see Topaz in the doorway. “Hey, Paz!”

  He blurred for a moment and was suddenly at my side. He hugged me gently. “Lauren was threatening to burn Aubrey at the stake so I had to assure her you were alive. Say cheese!” I giggled at he took a picture of me with his phone. “Beautiful,”

  “Oh yeah, bed-head, real sexy.”

  He grinned. “Much better than some of the girls I’ve seen wake up,”

  I stared at him in surprise. Since when did Topaz have girls in his bed? “Huh?”

  “Sasha and Sadie had terrible hair in the morning. They’d wake up with it stuck to their faces with drool, in big poof-balls, like something out of a nightmare.” He chuckled.

  I laughed. “Oh trust me, been there before.”

  “Honey, do you want to take your pill?” Aubrey asked, coming in. He didn’t seem surprised to see Topaz there. It struck me that they probably met when Topaz came in, though, to me, it was like he’d just appeared in my room out of thin air.

  I accepted the pill and glass of water from Aubrey. Topaz nodded at Aubrey and left the room. I wondered if Aubrey had asked him to leave. Swallowing the pill, I chased it down with the glass of water. I was glad I didn’t need to take it with food. My stomach wasn’t up for anything non-liquid.

  Topaz appeared back in the room a second later. “Lauren texted back. She’s glad you’re alive.” He turned to Aubrey with a smirk. “I’d be on the lookout for anything flammable next time you’re near her.”

  “No kidding,” Aubrey said.

  “She means well,” I replied.

  Aubrey smiled. “I know, hon.”

  “She doesn’t smoke, does she?” Topaz teased. I threw a pillow at him, He caught it and placed it back on my bed. “If your stomach still feels like a roller-coaster, feel free to cancel dinner. We can reschedule anytime, Er-bear.”

  “No, don’t do that. Just go without me,”

  “If Alex decides to show, who’ll stop me off tearing his head off?”

  “No one because your head will already be on the floor.” Alex said, coming in through the window. Topaz’s resounding growl was terrifying as he stared Alex down. They were having a silent conversation I was glad I couldn’t hear.

  My window cracked. Aubrey glared at both of them. Topaz kissed my cheek, said a quick goodbye, and then leapt out the window. It slammed shut, almost catching Topaz’s ankle. Alex smirked.

  “Now that the dog is put out with the trash, I can tell you what I came to tell you. Change of plans, brother. I’m leaving tonight.”

  “Tonight? Why?” Aubrey asked.

  “Leaving?” I exclaimed. “Why are you leaving?”

  Alex turned to me. “Sweet pea, the sperm donor who created us is a homicidal maniac who makes everything I’ve ever done seem like a kitten playing with a ball of yarn.” He shot Aubrey a glance. “Yes, that includes the witch hunt in 1623.”

  “Can’t you just make him leave?” I asked. “I mean, I know he’s a really bad dude but there has to be something you can do.”

  “There is and I’m doing it,”

  “But he’ll…” I trailed off.

  “No buts, sweet pea. My life doesn’t matter when it comes to protecting my family. You and my brother are the only ones in my life that mean anything to me.” Alex stared at me with heartbreaking intensity. “I won’t lose anyone ever again. I’ve already lost too much.”

  I looked down at my blanket. It was a patchwork quilt my great grandmother had made and had been passed from my grandma to my mom. My mom had given it to me for my fourteenth birthday. It was at least a hundred years old and starting to fray at the ends. My great grandmother had used old sweaters to make it. A multitude of colors from a time long gone and it was still able to make me feel safe. Grandma used to tell me the quilt had special healing power. I wrapped it around myself whenever I felt sick and it always made me feel better. I had the sudden urge to wrap it around Alex. He looked so hurt.

  I wanted to hide and go back to a time where I wasn’t worried about anything other than what I would wear to school. I hated feeling like this. Alex and Aubrey were both special to me. I couldn’t bear the thought of either of them not existing.

  “Why are you leaving early?” Aubrey asked.

  I turned to him, my tone a little sharper than I intended. “You knew he was leaving?”

  “I wanted him to know, sweet pea. So he wouldn’t come looking when I didn’t come back.” Alex was stoic. It was as if his life really didn’t matter to him. Was he blind? It definitely mattered to Aubrey. It mattered to me.

  I shifted uncomfortably under my sheets. “Does your life really mean nothing to you?”

  Alex looked me in the eye. “Yes.”

  His gaze froze me. My eyes filled with tears and a lump formed in my throat. “Why?”

  He turned to Aubrey in disgust. “See? This is what I mean when I said scaring her would be easier. Normally tears mean nothing to me but it’s Erin. I can’t believe she’s crying over me. She shouldn’t be. I am not worth tears.”

  Aubrey growled. “It’s what people do when they care, Alex. Erin cried at a movie the other day. She cares for others.”

  “Exactly,” he said like it was in inexcusable emotion.

  Aubrey sighed, but didn’t say anything else. Dealing with Alex must have been hard growing up. Alex smirked at me. He knew what I was thinking and I could tell he thought it was funny.

  “And what the hell do you mean scaring me?” I demanded. Alex turned the full force of his eyes on me. My breath caught in my throat. Suddenly I felt like a very sick, injured animal under the gaze of the ultimate predator.

  “You are,” Alex said, answering my thought, his voice low. “You’re in the presence of the ultimate predator. I want you to fear me. You will run, screaming into the night whenever you see me coming. The mere mention of my name will send you into a paralyzing fear. I absolutely terrify you in every sense of the word. Got it?”

  My heart raced. It sounded loud in my ears and I could feel my stomach threatening to bring up the bit of coffee I had. My breath was coming in short bursts, building up to a scream, as I looked unwillingly into Alex’s fire-green eyes. A wave of
heat swept over me and the last thing I remembered was Aubrey snarling as he lunged at Alex in a blind fury.

  I woke in a cold sweat. Aubrey was sitting in the chair by my bed anxiously. “Erin, sweetie, are you okay?” I attempted to sit up but he gently pushed me back into my pillow. “Don’t get up, not yet.”

  “What the hell was that?” I asked. My brain felt fuzzy, almost like it was operating in thick black sludge. I saw a shelf on my wall was hanging loosely by one nail and a lamp was smashed. What happened there? I wondered. The light hurt my eyes. Aubrey fiddled with the dimmer switch on the other side of the room until the light was bearable. He was right beside me in the blink of an eye.

  He kissed my forehead. “I don’t know, but your fever is dangerously high. We’ll reschedule dinner with Paz for the week after next.”

  “No, I told him we won’t have to do that!” I exclaimed, bolting upright. My head spun and I nearly fell out of bed. Aubrey caught me and held me close to him.

  “You are not risking your health, Erin. I mean it.” He said sternly. “Your fever is one hundred and three.”

  I sighed. “I should call to apologize.”

  He handed me my phone. “He already knows, but your phone was ringing off the hook with text messages earlier. I didn’t read a single one, I promise.”

  Smiling at his honesty, I tapped into my messages. Three from Amber, pictures of different dress ideas. One from Topaz, wishing me a speedy recovery. One from an unknown number.

  I’m coming, little girl.

  Aubrey caught my phone as it fell to the floor. “Erin?”

  “I got a text from someone I don’t know. It…it said…” My mouth was dry and I couldn’t stop shaking as my mind went to the image from my dream of Kistel laughing at me. “It was him…”

  Aubrey tensed and looked at the message. He went whiter than bone. “Oh God…” He held my phone as if it were a dangerous predator, tapped it twice, and held it to his ear. Whoever he was calling picked up and said something.