Personal Defense for Women

by Gila Hayes

  Ask yourself now: what compromises am I willing to make to assure my well-being? While living outside the United States for a time, I learned to blend in to avoid the hassles faced by a woman traveling alone. That habit, plus growing older and a declining sensitivity about others’ opinions, has eased me into a comfortable style of dress that doesn’t scream out for attention. Understand this well: if you want to be noticed, be assured you will receive attention from one and all, not just from sane, desirable people.

  My own beautiful sister told me of the day she realized this truth.

  “I was unloading the trunk of my car,” she explained. In the heat of summer, she wore short cutoffs that attracted the attention of a vagrant. “Hey, sister, you sure do keep yourself in good shape,” she heard in a slurred male voice. Acknowledging him with a surprised, “Thank you,” she rushed to the safety of her nearby destination.

  I well understand that this advice sounds like the common accusation that a woman “asks to be assaulted” by how she dresses. This, of course, is absurd. Predators select victims for a variety of reasons. But you must also choose how you will deal with unwanted comments and even being followed by odd strangers as a side-effect of your choice of appearance. If you make this choice, do it consciously, understanding the results and possible dangers. If you will make different choices, I recommend reserving your Spandex for the gym, keeping your short shorts at home, and covering your sports bra with a T-shirt when in public. Showy or expensive jewelry can also attract trouble.

  Only the Strong Survive?

  Predatory people can intuitively sniff out those they can overpower psychologically or physically. They observe body posture and levels of alertness. This was underscored by a New York study in which prisoners convicted of assault watched a videotape of random strangers on the street, then rated how likely they would be to assault them.

  When the prisoners described a victim profile for women they might assault, they cited 1) slouching posture, 2) head held down, 3) eyes averted, and 4) a shuffling pace instead of brisk walk.2

  Though few advance far enough in their training to mount a decisive unarmed defense against a committed assailant, the martial arts can transform bodies and attitudes. Karaté was the catalyst that changed my timid, submissive posture into an erect, confident stance that I know discourages assailants and predators.

  A common characteristic shared by most vulnerable women is unawareness of threats. A careless woman will wander right into the arms of trouble, engrossed in conversation or simply lost in her own thoughts and worries. Unfortunately, nearly all the people I know suffer from a lack of awareness of their moment-to-moment surroundings. If you can’t answer a pop-quiz about the area you passed through five minutes ago, you are caught in this oblivion. Inner contemplation is good, but not on the street where being deep in thought can cost your life. The woman who indulges in air-headedness experiences an immobilizing terror when surprised by danger.

  States of Awareness: White, Yellow, Orange, Red and Black Conditions

  I call it absolute awareness: the acknowledgment that danger exists, coupled with moment-to-moment watchfulness. Many schools of armed self defense employ the late Colonel Jeff Cooper’s color code to describe the states of awareness appropriate to different levels of threat. Col. Cooper, known to handgunners as the father of modern pistolcraft, adapted the color code used in military operations during World War II, when radio-transmitted reports on troop conditions were subject to interception by the enemy. Instructors, including Massad Ayoob, have altered the code slightly to better suit the private citizen’s choices of preclusion or retreat.

  CONDITION WHITE describes circumstances in which you are completely oblivious to any threat. One enters Condition White in sleep or when daydreaming as discussed earlier.

  This woman is quite oblivious to a trap that is being set for her. She is in Condition White.

  Though not alerted to a specific danger yet, this woman’s awareness causes her to assess others occupying the area next to her parking area. She is in Condition Yellow.

  A heightened level of awareness to the potential danger from someone coming into her personal space takes this woman to Condition Orange.

  As the assailant reveals his knife, his intended victim shifts into Condition Red, creating distance and seeking an obstacle to serve as cover.

  Defender, in Condition Black, takes appropriate action to the assault that is underway.

  Awareness to the potential for danger, even without any recognizable threat, is CONDITION YELLOW. Psychologists tell us that humans can spend all their waking hours in Condition Yellow with absolutely no detrimental effects. Indeed, Condition Yellow should be your mental state while driving, chopping up vegetables, or hammering a nail into the wall. You are not threatened by any immediate danger, but you’re aware that your activity includes potential hazards that you watchfully avoid.

  Some activities are riskier than others. Circumstances may prompt you to switch into CONDITION ORANGE. This attitude is appropriate in situations that entail a higher degree of risk, such as driving on icy roads or entering your empty home late at night. In Condition Orange, all your senses are active, scanning for potential danger. You are prepared to take appropriate action should a specific threat appear.

  If, for example, an armed stranger approaches as you unlock your front door, you switch to CONDITION RED, in which you have identified a specific life-threatening danger.

  If Condition Red is embodied in the thought, “Oh, no, he could assault me!” CONDITION BLACK is “He is assaulting me now!” Condition Black indicates that a lethal assault is in progress and justifies immediate use of any level of force necessary to stop the assault.

  How does the defensive firearm fit into these conditions? In Condition White you should not have a lethal weapon such as a gun available, since your lack of alertness makes the weapon vulnerable to an assailant or to a child’s misuse. Secure it in a lock box or gun safe, since in Condition White you are not in command of its power.

  In Condition Yellow you may or may not have your weapon readily available; however if you do have one, you must not drift into the unguarded Condition White. In Condition Orange it would be preferable to have immediate access to your weapon or alternative defenses, like a trained guard dog at your side. Depending on the situation, the weapon may or may not be in your hand. In Condition Red the weapon should be in your hand if circumstances permit. You need to be ready and able to use it if a lethal assault pushes you into Condition Black.

  Guns Won’t Keep You Safe

  What? A firearms instructor saying that a gun won’t keep you safe? Yes, ma’am! Absolute awareness about your surroundings, tactical planning, and ability with an appropriate weapon are the factors that will keep you alive and well. You are the active party—your gun is an inert mechanical assembly, incapable of any action on its own.

  A gun or any other defensive device is useless if the owner is oblivious to threat. The prepared woman, however, besides maintaining an appropriate level of awareness, will study, practice and perfect her defense tactics.

  Notes

  1Association for Women’s Self-Defense Advancement, 556 Ft. 17 N., Ste. 7-209, Paramus, NJ 07652 http://awsda.org 1-800-STOP RAPE

  2Betty Grayson and Morris I. Stein, “Attracting Assault: Victims Non Verbal Cues; Journal of Communication, March 1981.

  CHAPTER 3

  A Fight Avoided Is a Fight Won

  Over-socialized humans are rarely prepared to respond instantly to assault. It is a tremendous shock to find a punch coming toward your face or find yourself immobilized by a bear-hug from behind. This element of surprise serves criminal assailants well, whether they attack men or women. Mental preparation coupled with physical training gives the advantage or edge that avoids, escapes or wins the fight. There are few places it is safe to lapse into Condition White.

  Know who and what are around you. Practice this exercise: when driving or walking, train yourself
to see all the details, all the people, doorways, windows and natural elements like thick foliage. Mentally re-create the scene through which you just passed as though designing a movie set. In your mind, describe the people inside a distance of 20 feet; describe cars and structures; detail objects you could use as bullet-stopping cover in a gunfight or obstacles to prevent physical contact with an assailant. As awareness of the scene ahead and around you becomes habitual, you’ll rarely be startled by the wino that lurches out of the doorway to ask for money. You will already have moved to the outside of the sidewalk, insulated among other pedestrians.

  Jacqueline’s alert demeanor brought this hazard to her attention in time to step to the far side of the alley providing distance from an uncertain situation.

  Asking for assistance is a common ploy the criminal uses to gain control over the victim. When strangers approach, it is impossible to predict their motives.

  The Defensive Posture

  Walk purposefully, head up, eyes scanning your surroundings. Keep your hands free so you are ready to fight if surprised. Don’t shove your hands into pockets or wrap your arms around your torso. Whenever possible, avoid carrying a big purse or filling your arms with packages. Briefcases, laptop computer bags and luggage need shoulder straps. Keep your limbs supple and relaxed, ready to move quickly. Stay loose and alert.

  Advice about eye contact varies. I suggest making brief eye contact with other pedestrians. A student once told me that the state social agency for which she worked advised employees to avoid eye contact, suggesting that it inflames mentally unstable subjects. I replied that it is important to communicate by brief eye contact that you are aware of another’s presence. This differs from a hard stare that communicates aggression. Let potential predators know you have recognized them for what they are. Abusers prefer anonymity. Walk away from comments from strangers and let compliments, criticism and other unsolicited communication pass unanswered.

  Learn a few basic rules for dealing with aggressive approaches from strangers. Whether overseas or in America, one of the most common approaches a criminal takes is to ask an innocent question. The problem is, it never ends with the first question. The predator prolongs the exchange, asking other questions about landmarks or events, anything to distract you until they have a chance to slip through your defenses and get what they want: your possessions or your person. A stranger will approach you in a parking lot, asking, “Excuse me, do you know the way to the bus station?” Without pausing, make eye contact and firmly shake your head “no.” Most toward the nearest safe place and let the person know you will not tolerate further encroachment into your safety zone.

  Experience tells me that ignoring a harasser is usually perceived as fearfulness. Make eye contact, politely and forcefully answer that you cannot help them. Maintain a safe distance. Assaults happen lightning fast—usually in three to five seconds. Too often the female prey is knocked to the ground before she realizes what is happening.

  Where Is It Written That You Have to Be Friendly to Strangers?

  While the Bible directs believers to turn the other cheek and to love thy neighbor as thyself, nowhere does it advocate sacrificing innocent life for the gratification of evildoers. Today’s reality requires a guarded response to strangers. Giving help to those in need is admirable, but it can and must be accomplished in sensible, safe ways.

  Two of our century’s most notorious mass killers, Alton Coleman and his accomplice Debra Denise Brown, approached a number of victims by asking for rides to church or prayer meetings. The victims were robbed, raped and usually murdered by the criminal pair. Serial rapist-murderer Theodore Bundy viciously exploited the human desire to help others by pretending to be injured. It is thought that he accomplished his first double-murder by asking women at a lake near Seattle to help him load a boat onto his car. They believed he needed help with the task because he wore an arm sling. After capturing one young woman with this ruse, Bundy returned and successfully abducted a second victim.

  How to avoid falling victim to this sort of ploy? First, recognize the predatory stalking technique of stepping in close and engaging the prey in unnecessary conversation. If circumstances don’t allow an immediate escape from your stalker, face your harasser and order in a firm, loud voice: “Go away! Don’t talk to me!” or “Leave me alone, now!” Couple your command with forceful eye contact. Communicate through your unwavering gaze, showing your assailant you are not afraid to take whatever action is necessary to rid yourself of him. Use a decisive, commanding voice.

  The first women’s self-defense course I ever took, many years ago, taught us to cuss and swear loudly at assailants. The premise was that the foul language would shock the harasser into breaking off the pursuit. Experience has since shown that gutter language has little effect, it may escalate the assault, and it will certainly make you appear to be the instigator or an active participant in the fight. Witnesses will perceive abusive language as active involvement in a two-sided dispute.

  When no alternative to the parking garage exists, choose the safest parking spot near an exit and walk well away from cars that may conceal a predator. This woman keeps her coat open so she can get to her holstered handgun easily if it is needed.

  If your assailant disregards your command to leave, take evasive action if you have not already tried to escape. In crowded public spaces, uninvolved bystanders can serve as a distraction while you get away. Move around other pedestrians so they and others have to step between you and your harasser, giving you time to escape. Other urban features that provide escape routes are people-filled malls, stores and public buildings. Here, buffered by onlookers, you may be able to disappear into the crowd.

  There are no winners in a street fight. At close quarters and against a committed fighter, even taking a gun to a knife fight may not save you. The knifer may die from your bullet, yet not before he has cut you repeatedly with his blade. Always try to escape a confrontation; join the fight only if the alternative is unavoidable death or crippling injury.

  React decisively if your instincts tell you something is wrong. If you feel scared or uneasy, leave the area. Be prepared to fight back immediately and viciously if you are assaulted. A small revolver in your pocket, a can of pepper spray or a mini-baton or keys in your hand may deflect an assailant long enough for you to reach safety or deploy another weapon. Whatever your defensive tools, their value is only as great as your pre-established defensive plan. Have simple, vicious responses planned and mentally rehearsed: “I will do ‘A’ if that person does ‘B’.”

  Danger Signs

  Ability to react dynamically relies on recognizing danger before it is on top of you. Too often denial or air-headedness blinds women to predictable predatory approaches. As outlined earlier, Condition Yellow codifies the appropriate level of awareness vital to knowing what threats may be present. Your guard should go up if an attempt is made to block your path—whether as a pedestrian or driver. By maintaining a good danger scan, this ploy is avoidable. Observed far enough ahead, you have room to cross the street rather than step into an alley or bushes to get around an impediment.

  The Monadnock mini-baton serves as a handy key ring, as well as a very serviceable intermediate defensive tool that can be carried openly without attracting attention.

  It is essential that you know what people around you are doing. Take care that you are not “blinded” by your stereotype of what a “typical” criminal looks like. Be aware of teens and young adults of either gender, as well as people in all manner of dress and grooming. Be alert to followers who match your pace, pausing when you do or walking faster to keep up with you.

  A car that follows you slowly or pulls ahead and stops near the sidewalk should raise an alert. A car that has passed you several times is cause for concern. Unless an escape route is accessible, do not look away if you’re targeted: the predators have already chosen you. Instead, pointedly look inside the car, do your best to memorize features or characteristics of those
inside and get the license plate number. Remember, anonymity, not recognition, serves the criminal.

  Be aware of predatory teamwork in which one member distracts you as the other attacks. Look for exchanged glances, nods or signals between two pedestrians who do not appear to be together; watch out for circling or flanking moves. A stranger who pushes or bumps you should generate a high level of watchfulness on your part, and not just toward the offender. The contact may be a distractionary move to channel you into a partner’s grasp, or it may indicate mental instability, intoxication, or simply a rude, aggressive person with whom exchanging words may lead to an unexpected confrontation. Whatever the problem, you do not have to become part of it.

  Likewise, move away from drunken or boisterous groups to avoid being the prey of dog-pack mentality. In many situations, a wise tactic is to interpose obstacles between yourself and the threat. This may be as simple as stepping around others in a crowd, crossing a busy street, or stepping around a parked car to place it between yourself and the danger. A large planter, trash container or any other object may prevent the person you fear from rushing you. Absence of crowds is poor reason to let down your guard. All an empty street assures is the absence of witnesses.

  Faced by any of these predictable predatory warning cues, wishing that it “ain’t so” won’t change anything. Do something, and do it NOW to avoid, escape, or—if necessary—strike back before you are injured.