Janey grinned. ‘Just like the rest of Project Crystal Clear. We melt it.’
‘OK.’ G-Mamma lit a Bunsen burner and pushed it towards Janey. ‘Off you go, Blondette.’
Janey took a deep breath. This was something precious her father had sent her, and she was going to obliterate it. ‘Bye, SPI-buy,’ she whispered, and gave it a kiss.
‘Oooo, good rap!’ said G-Mamma. ‘Bye, SPI-buy . . . bye SPI-b—’
She stopped short. With a quiet hum, four beams of light had shot out of the ruler and projected themselves on to the ceiling. An image was shimmering into being.
Janey gulped.
‘Good noddy noodles!’ shouted G-Mamma. ‘It’s a LipSPICK. I’ve never even seen one! A Lip-activated SPI-Camera Kilobank. You can download on to these at any distance. Fantastic work, Blonde!’
Janey pointed sadly at the picture. ‘Look. It’s my dad.’
There was Boz Brilliance Brown, sitting in his swivel chair in the Sol’s Lols office. He was patting a small tabby cat. ‘That’s Trouble!’ shouted G-Mamma.
With a pounding heart, Janey listened to what her father was saying.
‘It’s gone too far. I can hardly believe what I’ve discovered. The only remaining formulae for Project Crystal Clear are on this file. It must be destroyed. Here’s what I’ve created, Spylet.’ He reached down towards Trouble, his face so close to the camera that Janey could clearly see the bright blue of his eyes. Then he leaned past the cat and pointed to something on the floor, something that Trouble clearly didn’t like. It was a large brown field mouse.
‘Solomon told me Trouble hated mice,’ said G-Mamma.
‘I’m not surprised,’ said Janey. ‘Look at it.’ Instead of scurrying off, the mouse huddled back on its haunches before leaping out of Trouble’s way in a great arc. The camera followed it as it sprang around the desk.
Boz looked sombre on the screen. ‘This mouse . . . used to be a frog. A North American wood frog. I’ve turned it into another species through an intensified Crystal Clarification Process. I’ve made new life. If someone finds out how to do this with humans, the planet is doomed. All the formulae are on this file and exist nowhere else in physical form. Destroy this file. This secret cannot get out.’ With that, the image flickered and disappeared.
Janey and G-Mamma were silent for a long time, staring at the Ruler, letting the enormity of Boz’s discovery sink in. Janey’s made-up reincarnation ruse wasn’t that far from the truth. Janey could see that if this discovery got into the wrong hands, the outcome could be terrifying. Finally she picked up the Ruler. ‘Great, so I’ve got to destroy my only picture of my dad.’
G-Mamma nodded. ‘I know, Blonde. But you’re a wonderful Spylet. Do what you have to do.’
So Janey put on her Girl-gauntlet and held the Ruler in the orange-blue flame of the Bunsen burner. As the metal hit the heat it evaporated, disappearing into nothing. All that remained was the tiny dot Janey had held between her thumb and forefinger.
‘It’s done,’ she said. ‘It’s over. Solomon’s secret is safe forever.’
G-Mamma nodded. ‘And you’d better go, Blonde. Your mum will be waking up soon. Catch you later.’
Janey slipped back through to her own bedroom. The tiny disc of metal was still attached to her finger. Gently she kissed it and, as she had secretly hoped, a picture flashed on to the ceiling, just for a second or two – her father, his blue eyes crinkled, leaning over Trouble, saying, ‘ . . . what I’ve created.’
Janey watched it over and over until she fell asleep.
brilliance
‘Why isn’t Miss Rale coming with us?’ shouted Andrew Marsden. He was being extra boisterous to prove what fun he could still be even though his usual place next to Alfie had been taken.
Mrs Halliday stood up at the front of the coach and clapped her hands. All the children turned to face her, apart from Alfie and Janey. Janey was too busy wondering what everyone must be thinking; she had suddenly gone from having no friends at all to being offered the seat next to the Class Superstar, by the Class Superstar himself.
‘Well, as Andrew has asked the question, I suppose I should let you all know,’ said Mrs Halliday loudly. ‘Miss Rale has had to leave the school rather abruptly. We’ll be finding a new teacher for you, but in the meantime I will be keeping an eye on you myself. And while I’m on my feet, I think we should take the opportunity to thank Janey Brown for organizing this trip to the Wildlife Park. Her uncle, Solomon Brown, is the proprietor, and he has very kindly allowed us free access for the day. Furthermore, it seems we are to be the first to visit the newly refurbished Amphibian House. Three cheers for our Janey. Hip hip!’ Three cheers straggled down the coach.
It was only a week since Janey had last been in the Amphibian House and discovered the truth about so many things. The next morning she’d been woken by her mum.
‘I must go to the doctor’s,’ she’d groaned to Janey. ‘I’ve had another one of those weird dreams! And I can’t explain what Uncle James is doing sleeping on the sofa downstairs.’
‘Oh, I wanted to come home after that ball Uncle James took me to, remember?’ lied Janey. ‘We got his car to drop us off, and then . . . and then his chauffeur and cleaner resigned.’
‘Really?’ Her mother leaned against the edge of the sink, looking green. ‘Well, I don’t remember any of that. Think I’m going mad. I’m going to have to call Miss Lear and cry off work this morning.’
Rolling her eyes as she followed Mrs Brown down the stairs, Janey launched into another lie. ‘Well, I think you were sleepy when we got home, so you won’t recall that she’d left a message saying the . . . the cleaning business had folded so she won’t be needing you any more. And . . . um . . . and she’s leaving the country with Freda, I mean Freddie, so you won’t see her again.’
‘But she hasn’t paid me!’
‘I think that’s the least of your problems,’ muttered Janey under her breath.
Uncle James had stirred and was looking at himself in disgust in the mirror over the mantelpiece. ‘Typical of small businesses. Although how she could afford to throw a party like that if the company was going under, I don’t know. You should have seen the place, Jean. Thought for a while I might have found the new Mrs Bell.’
Janey thought quickly. ‘Hey, Uncle James, don’t you think Mum would be good at running a business like that? She could hire out people to be, you know, housekeepers and chauffeurs and minders.’
Uncle James nodded appreciatively. ‘Do you know, Janey, you’re right! Must be a gap in the market now that St Earl’s has gone under. I could set you up and you could run it, Jean. Well done, Janey. Good focus!’
‘Well, you sort my life out among yourselves,’ mumbled Mrs Brown. ‘Must admit it’s a good idea though, Janey. But right now, I’m going to be sick.’
And now Janey was on the way back to her uncle’s wildlife park. As they passed the plywood animals along the road leading up to the large iron gates she exchanged a secret smile with Alfie. He’d been a good friend to her since that night. Best of all, he had introduced her into his group of friends, telling everyone that mad Freddie Lear, Bin Boy, had been leaving those notes because he was jealous of her. Janey hoped that one day they’d be close enough for her to ask Alfie about his father, but knew that day hadn’t arrived yet.
Now the class was trooping through the park, oohing and aahing at the endangered animals prowling the compounds around them. Midway through the morning, Mrs Halliday turned to the group.
‘Now, class, we’ve reached the new Amphibian House for the official opening. Unfortunately Solomon Brown can’t be here today, but he’s sent one of his key employees, Rosie Biggenham, to cut the ribbon with Janey.’
The class clapped obediently as Janey joined G-Mamma at the festooned doorway.
G-Mamma coughed delicately. ‘Hope you don’t mind, but I’ve written a little poem, well, more of a song, well, kind of a rap, to mark this Brownalicious event.’
‘We love the Brown family, you know it’s true!
Though I think that Mother’s got a bit to do.
But this girly-girl is coming through,
And yo! She’ll surprise all o’ you!
Goooooooooo, Janey!’
Alfie raised his eyebrows at Janey as she glowed bright red. The class whooped and clapped, practising the rap among themselves.
‘Go to it, Blonde-girl!’ hissed G-Mamma delightedly, preening more than a little. Janey couldn’t stop a huge grin spreading across her face.
Between them, G-Mamma and Janey levered the huge scissors into position and sliced the ribbon in two. Janey was first through the door, with Alfie, Andrew and the others in quick pursuit. She made her way to the North American wood frog cabinet, buried in the depths of the Amphibian House. As she reached the spot she turned to Alfie, stunned.
It was gone.
In its place was an enormous and impressive display. Sealed behind layers of heavy mesh, a family of snarling creatures glared back at her. They were, according to the plaque, a group of mink. The smallest mink looked particularly vicious, displaying two rows of neat, gnashing teeth that looked as though they could tear a limb off a tiger without a second thought. As it clapped eyes on Janey, it threw itself against the metal, thrashing demonically.
‘Calm down, little mink!’ said Janey. ‘No point getting all upset.’ She leaned in closer. ‘It’s your own fault, after all,’ she whispered.
The mink went wild.
‘Hey, these are mammals, aren’t they?’ asked Andrew. ‘What are they doing in here?’
Mrs Halliday was looking at a plaque further around the display cabinet. ‘Well, I suppose Mr Brown can do what he likes in his own wildlife park. I think it’s a quite incredible display, wherever it is, don’t you, Andrew? Particularly when it was inspired by one of your own classmates. Come and look at this, Janey.’
Confused, Janey tore her eyes away from the smallest mink and moved around the cabinet to Mrs Halliday’s side. She saw her headmistress brush away a tear as she gestured towards a small silver plate screwed into the wood at the base of the cabinet.
It had only three words on it. ‘For Janey – “Brilliance”.’
The other children had surged forward to look too. ‘Brilliance? Is that the name of the display? Pretty cool having your own piece of a wildlife park! Did your uncle do that just for you?’
As they spoke, Janey’s head suddenly cleared with that peculiar brightness of her Spylet moments. Slowly she nodded.
‘I think so. To make sure I always remember.’
Alfie looked puzzled. ‘You didn’t get brain-wiped, did you?’ he whispered to her, pulling her to one side. ‘What else would you need to remember?’
‘Just who I am, Al.’ Linking her arm through his, Janey smiled as she walked away. ‘Just need to remember who I am.’
G-Mamma, with a hand on each Spylet’s shoulder, winked broadly. ‘You’re lovely normal Janey Brown, hey, honey-child?’
Janey threw back her pale brown hair and laughed. ‘That’s right, G-Mamma. Janey Brown. I’m just Janey Brown.’
And for the time being, she was.
Jane Blonde: Sensational Spylet Page 18