Champagne Toast

by Melissa Brown

  For Janna

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Epilogue

  Sneak Peek

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Prologue

  May 7, 2011

  What in the hell is he doing back here? I haven’t seen him since that night . . . that horrible night when he vanished from my life and left me behind to wallow in this bar. Every night I wipe down the tables, hoping I’ll see him walk through that door.

  And now, he’s back. But, he’s not alone. Slinking slowly to a dark corner table, I sit and watch as they make their way to the bar. He orders drinks as she smiles at him. Instantly, I hate her. Her long auburn hair falls past her shoulders in ringlets. It’s messy, almost clinging to the sides of her face. He must have taken her dancing.

  They look happy, and yet, everything I know about him tells me that he’s nervous. Sensing that another woman evokes emotion in him shatters me. It magnifies just how much I miss him and how I’ve made a horrible mess of things. He laughs and touches her wrist lightly as she speaks. I want to strangle her.

  You’re not good enough for him, Kate.

  That voice inside my head, she’s right. I was never good enough. I always knew that one day he’d find someone else, maybe even someone like her. Someone simple and pretty, a school teacher or a librarian. He’d leave me before I had the chance to leave him and where would I be? Right here, miserable and alone.

  Little Miss Redhead looks concerned. Evan is spinning his beer bottle as he speaks. I’ve seen him do this a hundred times. Any time he was pissed at me. We’d sit at the bar and I’d ask him what was wrong. He wouldn’t look at me; he’d just spin that damn bottle. Is he thinking of me now? Is he telling her about me? Shaking these thoughts out of my brain, I continue to observe as their conversation once again turns light. Something in the pit of my stomach aches. I ache for him.

  You’re not good enough for him, Kate.

  I know that, goddamnit. I know. But still . . . I want him.

  Chapter 1

  Evan

  June 30, 2012

  My mother always told me that I was the epitome of a Gemini. Two personalities. One half charming, insightful and entertaining. The other half . . . well, the other half is darker, more sinister, more sarcastic. As a kid, I brushed it off, thinking everyone had different sides to them. How was I any different? But as an adult, I get it. I’m a little different than the average person. And now, as I sit here with my friends, Daphne and Tanner, watching them in their happy fresh-from-their-honeymoon glow, I feel that other half coming out. I have to push him down, way down. I don’t want them to know that side of me.

  It’s the dark side of me that sits here, having drinks with my friends and the charming woman they’ve set me up with . . . one of many with whom they have tried to make a match. But, she can’t hold my attention. It’s forcing me to sit and think about her, about everything that happened, and about how much I still want answers. I want to know why she threw it all away. I want to know if he was worth it. But, most importantly, I want to know where she is.

  And so, we sit here, in the bar where I used to work. Where I first met Kate, the only woman I’ve ever really loved. Doing my best to be sneaky, I glance around the bar while Daphne is speaking, trying to see if she might still be here. But, it’s been two years. A lot can happen during that time. She could be seeing someone else, and knowing her, she’s probably seeing a lot of someones. But, what if she isn’t?

  “Evan, you’re being so quiet,” Daphne teases me, her eyebrow raised inquisitively. I really care about my friend, Daphne, honestly I do. But, sometimes she pisses me off when she puts me on the spot. It’s almost as if she knows I’m thinking of Kate. She doesn’t want me to go back there again. She wants me to move on, to find someone new, someone like her, someone who won’t demolish me. But, I can’t.

  What Daphne doesn’t seem to get is that she and her new husband, Tanner, are lucky. Not everyone finds their soulmate. Not everyone is capable of the kind of happiness they’ve created. Yeah, yeah, they had their problems and Daphne went through a lot of emotional shit. I know that she carried a ton of baggage from her ex into their relationship. I know Tanner almost walked away and Daph had to fight like hell to get him back. I know all of this, I was there. But, they’ve never done anything selfish or malicious to one another. I have and Kate certainly has. That’s the difference. When we were together, we had our share of great moments; moments that made me smile, that made me fantasize about the future, moments that led me to walk into a jewelry store to look at engagement rings.

  But, there was so much more to us. So much more that tears at my hardened soul and makes my gut ache so badly it hurts to breathe. It sucks. I miss her every single damn day. And I hate her for it.

  Daphne interrupts my pity party, “Evan, did you know Krissy grew up on a farm?”

  “Is that right?” I ask, raising a flirtatious eyebrow as I glide my arm behind Krissy’s chair. Once again doing my best to show the desirable side of my personality, the charming side, the caring side. Don’t get me wrong, that part of me is just as real as the other. But, sometimes it takes more effort. Kate knew this, she understood it and accepted it. I miss that.

  “Yes,” Krissy nods, her pale cheeks growing pink. She really is sweet, and I should want to know more about her. But, I simply don’t care. Not when I’m here in this bar, surrounded by memories of her, of us. Good ones, bad ones, and plenty of in-between. There’s just so many.

  Daphne suggested this place. We came here on our first date, in fact, after we danced at The House of Blues. That was the night we decided to be friends and never looked back. Daph doesn’t know that she is the only woman who has ever taken my mind off Kate, even if it was only for a short time. And I would never tell her that. She’s happy with Tanner, and they’re right for each other.

  “So, um, Evan,” Krissy says, “Tanner said you’re in marketing?” I nod, taking a swig of my beer.

  “Yep, for a few years now. And, what do you do, Krissy?”

  “I work for Hewitt in their customer service department,” she replies.

  “Do you like it there?” I ask, feigning interest in her career. I’m not going to lie, it sounds really boring.

  “Not really,” she shrugs, sipping her wine. A long pause sits in the stale air, and I’m tempted to make a joke just to break the tension, but nothing comes to mind.

  The conversation remains stilted for the rest of the night and I’m all-too relieved when it’s time for Krissy and me to part ways. I give her a friendly hug and thank her for the evening.

  “Take care,” I say and her smile diminishes as she hears the words. She knows I’m not interested. We stand awkwardly in front of the bar as she hesitates to turn and walk away. Tanner and Daphne had left a few minutes before, probably to give us time to make plans for another date. But, I’m not going to waste this girl’s time. She d
eserves better than to be strung along by someone who’s not into her.

  “You too, Evan. It was really nice to meet you,” Krissy says as she walks up to her car. I smile and wave as she climbs in. As she starts the ignition, I step back towards the bar, tempted to walk back in and ask about Kate. I think better of it and make my way to my own vehicle. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of a woman inside the bar who looks so much like her. Lured by the woman’s porcelain skin and thick hair pulled into a ponytail, my heart begins to thump rapidly in my chest.

  All at once, I feel out of control. My mind must be playing tricks on me. I was just inside that bar, and she was nowhere to be found. And with everything I know about that woman, there’s no way in hell she’d hide from me. She would’ve strolled over to our table, flirted with me brazenly in front of my date and sauntered up to the bar, knowing I’d be staring at her ass. She always knew how to push my buttons, no matter the situation. It’s not her, Evan.

  No, this is something my brain is inventing. I miss her, so much that it’s consuming me. And, I need to stay away from this bar. Too many memories lived here, memories that should be left alone. I need to walk away from her or I’ll only get sucked right back into the pain. Get in your car, Evan, and drive away. I pull the car into traffic and glance back at the sign for Molly’s Bar and Tavern, knowing I won’t be able to stay away for long.

  Chapter 2

  Kate

  June 30, 2012

  Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I had never met Evan. Supportive, encouraging, headstrong Evan. He pushed me to be better, and all I ever did was retreat from him until he finally walked away. And I’ve hated myself ever since.

  All my life I had dated guys like my ex-boyfriend, Shawn. Guys who treated me like arm candy, who didn’t expect anything from me. They didn’t push me, and they didn’t want me to have any sort of passion for myself. They wanted me to focus solely on them, on how I could serve their needs.

  I’d always been like that, always seeking out relationships that weren’t good for me. Growing up, I lived in an old-fashioned household, straight out of the 1950s. My mother did everything for my father. He paid no attention to her and, in turn, I wanted to be nothing like her, I wanted to be my own person. But, somehow I’d ended up just like her: a doormat who didn’t believe in herself. I skated through relationship after relationship, never settling in for too long. Perhaps, deep down I saw my own patterns repeating themselves over and over. But, Evan was different.

  Evan was a breath of fresh air since he walked through the door of Molly’s. Even though I tried to hide it, I was completely mesmerized the very first time we met. His laugh made me want to laugh more. His smile made me want to frown less, and his voice was so ridiculously perfect that I found myself asking him questions just to hear him speak longer. My voice seemed so boring compared to the melodic notes that seemed to spill from his lips.

  Right from the start, our attraction was undeniable and I was so thankful that it wasn’t one-sided. Evan felt it, too, and for the next three years, I was involved with the most wonderful man in the world. Women would walk by me and I wanted to gloat, tell them to just give up, because I had found him, the most magnificent man in the universe. But, then, just as quick as it had begun, it fell completely apart. I have no one but myself to blame.

  I’d give anything to go back and truly be with Evan. I wouldn’t have retreated, I would’ve listened to him when he pushed me to make something of myself, to want more for myself, to achieve something just for me. I would’ve gotten my ass out of this bar and followed my love of photography. Maybe I’d be showing my work in galleries, maybe I’d have my own business. Instead, I’m still here while he’s gone off to work at a huge multi-million dollar marketing firm, doing what he does best, talking with others and persuading them to sell themselves in order to be successful.

  And so, I find myself back at Molly’s Tavern on a Saturday night, preparing to start my shift. Taking a sip of coffee as I prepare for a long night, I tie the sturdy cotton apron around my waist and start to walk out into the bar. My legs suddenly become paralyzed when I see him seated with three other people at one of our high top tables. Across from him is the familiar redhead that he brought here once before; her gorgeous hair spilling down her back. My heart sinks and anger starts to build. Is she his girlfriend, his fiancée, his wife?

  Slowly, I back into the kitchen of the tavern until the swinging door shuts in front of me. The small window offers me the chance to continue observing him as my pulse races and my brow begins to bead with sweat. My hands begin to tremble and I hold them close to my chest to get my bearings. The redhead places her hand on the thigh of the tall man seated next to her, a diamond ring sparkling on her finger. Instant relief washes over me knowing that he isn’t with her. She’s too perfect: too sweet-looking, and absolutely nothing like me. Before I can completely embrace the thought of him not being with Little Miss Redhead, I notice the blonde seated next to him. She is perky and all smiles and gazing at Evan. My Evan.

  Why does he keep coming back here?

  Evan looks distracted. He constantly glances up at the TV screens above the oak bar and observes the room as the redhead does most of the talking. I roll my eyes, knowing this must be a set-up. Even though it’s been over two years since Evan and I were together, I know when he’s not himself. I know when he’s being placed in an uncomfortable situation. He smiles occasionally at his friends and speaks when spoken to, but he’s not really present in their conversation.

  Where are you, Evan?

  “Kate, what the hell? What are you doing?” Bree, my co-worker and best friend, asks me, as she adjusts her apron. Her bright blue eyes look perplexed as she stares at me. My cheeks flush in embarrassment.

  “He’s here, Bree.” I admit, gesturing towards the door.

  “Who’s here? What are you talking about?” she asks, pushing me to the side and glaring at the window. Her silky black hair is pulled up in a bun. “Oh lord,” she continues, rolling her large icy blue eyes.

  “What?” I respond incredulously.

  “Still? You’re still obsessing over him? Move on, girl.” She shakes her head in disgust.

  “That’s not fair. You know how I felt about him.”

  “He broke your heart, Kate. You deserve better.”

  “Hardly,” I say, shaking my head dismissively, returning my gaze to Evan’s table. Bree doesn’t know everything from my past, my track record, my pattern. It was too hard to admit all of my faults to her. And I’ve managed to avoid talking about Evan for a long, long time.

  “If you say so, darlin’.” Bree shrugs and sweeps her jet-black hair behind her shoulders in a defeated manner. “I give up when it comes to that guy. But, what are you doing back here, hmm? You’re hiding when you should just go talk to him.”

  “I can’t. He’s on a date.”

  “So what? Go out there and grab his attention. I’ve seen you do it hundreds of times. Go and show him what he’s been missing. He’ll come crawling back.”

  “You’re wrong, Bree. I hurt him . . . too much.”

  “Guys don’t think with their hearts. You should know that by now. Go out there and get him all riled up. He’ll ditch her in a heartbeat.”

  “I don’t want that,” I say, unconvincingly and Bree raises an eyebrow. “Okay, fine, of course I do.”

  “So, what are you waiting for? He’s only a few feet away. Take a shot, get up the nerve and get out there before Vince gets pissed. You’re making us both late for our shift.”

  “The bar isn’t crowded yet, Vince is fine,” I reassure her, looking into her soft blue eyes. She’s such a good friend to me, but I know she’s right. Vince isn’t the worst boss in the world, but he’s not exactly Mr. Nice Guy. I’ve learned, over the years, not to piss him off. And hiding in the back room of the bar is not a way to get on his good side. “Bree, go start your shift. I need a minute.”

  “Fine, but I
won’t cover for you all night. It looks like they’re wrapping up their evening anyway. They don’t exactly look like party animals. Looks like he’s hanging with a pretty straitlaced crowd these days.”

  “Whatever. That doesn’t matter to me.” I shake off her comment. I know what she’s getting at. She’s always thought Evan and I were incompatible, even when we were in love, wrapped up in one another and inseparable.

  Bree mutters something to herself and walks through the swinging doors, leaving me alone as I continue to watch him. And then, my heart flutters. He’s doing it again, just as he did almost two years ago when he brought that redhead here. He’s spinning his beer bottle, not making eye contact with his date, as if he’s lost in his own world. Tears threaten to spill from my eyes as I watch Evan in his daze. He’s thinking about me. I know it.

  So tempted to walk through the door and get his attention, perhaps lure him over to the bar so we can talk, but I just don’t have the nerve. Too much time has passed, too much hangs in the balance. I can’t do it. I’m not ready. The redhead says something that snaps Evan out of his dream world and he smiles warmly at her, glancing casually at the blonde beside him before slipping his arm on the back of her chair. I can’t watch any more. It’s pissing me off.

  If I don’t find something productive to do, Vince will be on my shit. Luckily, it looks like one of the dishwashers hasn’t shown up for his shift. As much as I despise washing dishes, it is the perfect excuse to remain back here out of Evan’s sight. Vince will be pleased to see that I took the initiative. It’s a win-win.

  Twenty minutes later, Bree pops her head in.

  “You can come out now, my dear. He’s gone.”

  “Thank God,” I breathe out, “I was getting really tired of doing this.” I set a martini glass on the counter.

  “Yeah, and you’ve missed out on a lot of tips while you were hiding. Traffic has picked up and we’re pretty busy. I need your help.”