Beneath the Scars
Page 1
BENEATH
THE SCARS
The Eyes of Love Series #1
A touching Christian romance
that’s a standalone in a series.
BENEATH THE SCARS
The Eyes of Love Series #1
Inspirational Fiction by Joan Fennell Carringer
©2021 Joan Fennell Carringer
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
First Printing: January 2021
ISBN: 9798593772206
Imprint: Independently published
There are 3 books in THE EYES OF LOVE SERIES
#1 – Beneath the Scars
#2 – Above the Fear (Feb 2021)
#3 – Inside the Beauty (April 2021)
BENEATH THE SCARS
Inspirational Fiction
BY
Joan Fennell Carringer
∞ ONE ∞
THE REFLECTION staring back at her from the mirror was not a pretty sight to see, but just the same, there was a smile on Marna’s lips. The rough deep scars across both cheeks and the one blue eye that was permanently squinted was something she’d gotten used to. To others, they might appear ugly and disgusting, but to Marna, they were a reminder that she had survived a terrible disaster - a fire that had taken the lives of both her parents. She often wondered why the Lord had needed them so badly, at a time in her life when her own world revolved around them, but she wasn’t one to question God. There was a reason for everything. They were safe and happy in heaven now and she reminded herself of that over and over. Someday, when she joined them in paradise, she’d be beautiful and perfect, just as she’d been when she was eighteen, three years ago, the last time they had seen her. They never knew of her disfigurement and they never had to see her suffer all those months as she was healing. She was glad God had spared them of that.
She still had beautiful, long brown hair. The thought made her chuckle, as well as bringing to mind the scripture of
how God numbered the hairs of our heads. She kept smiling and the smile radiated across her entire face. What did it matter that she wasn’t beautiful like her two older sisters, Sharris and Taryn? She still felt she had been blessed – and not cursed as some people whispered behind her back. Neither Sharris nor Taryn was any happier or more contented than she was, despite their flawlessness. Sometimes, Marna was sure she was the most contented of the three of them. She didn’t approve of the way Sharris used her beauty as a tool to get the things she wanted, and she couldn’t help but worry about Taryn’s dreadful shyness, mainly due to the extra pounds she carried around and never seemed able to lose, that kept her wanting to remain hidden. What kind of personality would Marna have had, if it hadn’t been for the accident? She was certain she’d never be backward like Taryn, even if she was overweight, and hoped she wouldn’t have been as self-centered as Sharris.
Would she ever find a man who could overlook her deformity and fall in love with her? She wanted to marry and have a family, to love her children as she had always been loved and cherished. She told herself many times that it was all in God’s timing, but did she believe it? Was there a man anywhere who would actually want to live forever with someone that looked like her? Perhaps it wasn’t meant for her to have that kind of love. Maybe the accident hadn’t been an accident at all, but a sign from the Lord that He would be her one and only love.
She forced another smile, even as she brushed a tear from her cheek. “Your will be done, Lord,” she whispered softly.
She jumped when her bedroom door opened, startled by the unexpected interruption, and turned to see Sharris standing there.
For a moment, her sister didn’t speak. She only looked, with that unmistakable pity in her eyes. She did it almost every time, and every time, Marna could read her thoughts. She wished she could stop it from happening, but at the same time, she knew Sharris couldn’t help it. She felt sorry for her because she loved her.
Marna smiled at her. “Did you need something?”
Sharris flipped back her long blonde wavy hair and smiled back. “Just wondering if you’ll call Conrad Marks today about that ad for Billy’s Barbershop. He hasn’t approved it yet and we need the money.”
“That’s odd. He’s always so prompt. I’ve been so busy I didn’t realize he was dallying around. Of course, I’ll call him.”
“Maybe you could go and talk to him personally.”
“That’s your department. You face them. I talk to them on the phone. It’s our deal, remember?”
Sharris chuckled. “I don’t mind facing the young, good looking ones but Conrad’s old and stinky.”
“You call all old people stinky. You should be ashamed of yourself. He’s a very nice man and has given us a lot of business, not to mention he was a personal friend of Dad’s.”
Sharris laughed. “Don’t I know? He was our grandfather’s first customer, way back in the day before computers and cell phones. Can you even imagine doing business without cell phones and computers? I don’t know how Grandpa ever managed to form such an established, profitable company without them.”
“I used to hear Dad say he wished it was still personal like that. Remember how hard it was for him to get everything digitized? All those classes he had to take and the long hours he spent learning the computer? We have it made. Do you know that? Grandpa got all the customers simply by visiting them and smiling at them and being friendly, and then Dad kept them, because of their allegiance to Grandpa, and acquired more through their families and social media connections. All we have to do is send emails and graphics and watch the money roll in.”
“The money doesn’t just roll in. We have to make designs that everybody likes, ads they know will bring them lots of business and make them lots of money.”
“And Taryn is the best.”
Another voice joined them. “Taryn is the best what?”
Both Sharris and Marna looked at their oldest sister.
Marna laughed. “The best at everything and you don’t take credit for a bit of it.”
Taryn blushed, a common occurrence. “I get all the credit I need. I always have a payday.”
Sharris looked at Taryn, thinking that she needed to do something about her appearance. Like herself, but unlike Marna, Taryn had unmarred beauty, but she kept it hidden. Her light brown hair was mousy looking and usually pulled back into a straggly ponytail and she never used cosmetics. Now, make up wouldn’t help Marna. Nothing could cover the scars or fix the deformed eye, but Taryn could be really beautiful if she tried. Especially if she took off that excess weight. No wonder she never wanted to get out where anyone could see her.
“We were talking about Conrad Marks’ ad for Billy’s Barbershop,” Marna said. “You finished it several days ago. I guess it slipped my mind that he hasn’t yet responded but Sharris just reminded me. I’ve got to call him.”
“It’s not like him to not get back with us,” Taryn replied. “He’s always so happy with our work and always very prompt. I hope he’s all right.”
Marna’s thoughts exactly.
Sharris smirked. “He’s old! Trouble is, he’ll probably be dying before long and the loss of his business will hurt all of our paydays.”
“That’s a terrible thing to say,” Marna scolded. “Conrad is more than a paycheck.
He’s a human being and a very nice one.”
“Of course. You’re right.” Sharris glanced at her watch. “I’ve got to go. Call Conrad right now, Marna. Okay?” She left the room without waiting for an answer.
Taryn shook her head sadly and Marna looked at her.
“It seems like all that’s important to her anymore is the money we make,” Taryn said.
“And the great looking guys she’s always dating. Have you seen her with the same one twice?”
“Not often.” Taryn paused. “Do you want me to call Conrad?”
“No, that’s my job. He expects me to contact him if it’s ever necessary. Like Sharris just said, he’s a really old man and he might get upset if anyone but me called.”
Taryn laughed. “I was hoping you’d say that. You’re so good on the phone. I wish I could talk to people like you can. You could carry on a conversation with the President and he’d come up lacking for something to say.”
“I love to talk – as long as the other person isn’t standing there looking at me.”
“You shouldn’t feel like that. You’re beautiful, Marna. Despite your scars.”
“You’re my sister. You have to say that.”
“I don’t have to say anything I don’t mean. I’d give anything to have your personality.”
“You have enough beauty to compensate.”
“Not with all these excess pounds, and I can’t talk to people! I get scared to death when I try and get all tongue-tied and can’t say a word. People probably think I’m really stupid for walking away in the middle of a conversation because I have no idea how to become a part of it. I’d take your scars, if I could have your ability to communicate.”
“Maybe the scars are the reason for it. I can’t remember what it was like before the fire. I know I was eighteen and it was only three years ago, but it seems like the way I am now is the way I have always been.”
Taryn sighed sadly. “You always liked to get out. Now, you only use your talent to talk on the phone or send text messages.”
“What is your excuse? You sit at the computer all day long, designing ads. I can’t understand why you’re so shy. Nobody’s going to bite you if you go out in public.”
“Speak for yourself. Sure, you have scars, but I do, too. Mine are all wrapped up in a fat body that I don’t want anybody to see.”
“You’re a little overweight, yes, but you’re not fat.”
“But I can’t take it off! You know how many times I’ve tried. I’ve tried every diet there is and gone to the gym. Every time, I wind up hungry and angry and then I eat more than ever.”
There was a long silence before Taryn spoke again. “Well, complaining isn’t going to help me, is it? I need to go. I’m right in the middle of a giant-sized ad for that new lawyer’s firm that just opened up in town. As a matter of fact, Sharris has a date tonight with one of those lawyers.”
Marna reached for her cell phone. “Well, I better call Conrad.”
∞ TWO ∞
THE OLD MAN stood staring out the window at the brilliant blue sky. It was a beautiful summer day and some of the neighbor children were outside playing, running around and having fun. It was a rare vision anymore, with so many of them only interested in passing the time with their electronic devices. He sighed, knowing the little ones now in his view would soon be ignoring God’s playground and staying inside with man’s mechanics. What a world it had come to.
He turned away, running his fingers through his soft silvery hair, and walked slowly toward the kitchen. Although he was hungry, he wasn’t in a hurry to fix something to eat. It would be just one more lonely meal. He missed the days when his wife was still there. He missed her smiles and laughter, her joking and teasing. He missed the way she scolded him for always wanting to eat junk food instead of nutritious meals. He missed everything about her, even after not having her for over ten years. Had it really been that long since she’d passed away? Although it usually seemed longer, almost like forever, at the same time, it seemed like she’d been there just yesterday. And his son. One child was all they’d been blessed with and he’d been taken from his life five years ago, the final sad result of his battle with cancer. He was glad his wife hadn’t been there to watch his pain and suffering. It had been a blessing that she had gone first.
He forced himself to stop his thoughts. He didn’t like being sad or morbid and tried his best to stay upbeat. Maybe Devon would come by. The man smiled at the thoughts of his only grandson. He was a good boy and he was proud of him. Of course, he wasn’t really a boy. He was twenty-seven years old, and he wouldn’t be coming by because he lived over a hundred miles away. It didn’t stop Conrad from hoping, though.
The ringing of the phone disturbed his thoughts and he answered quickly.
“Good morning, Conrad. This is Marna. How are you doing today?”
“Marna Cord. How nice to hear your sweet voice. I’m good. You?”
“I am blessed.”
A spur of the moment thought came into Conrad’s mind and caused him to smile. “You know what? I would feel very blessed if you allowed me to take you to breakfast.”
He had no idea how Marna’s heart sped up because of his unexpected words. As well as she knew the elderly gentleman, she hadn’t seen him face to face since the fire. She swallowed. It still hurt every time she remembered it, as well as every time she saw the shocked reactions of those who had no idea how it had disfigured her. “Oh, you don’t have to do that.”
He laughed. “I know I don’t have to. I want to, but I also need to. This new ad is a little confusing to me. I’d like to talk to you about it.”
“Taryn’s the one who set it up. If there’s a problem, you need to get with her on it.”
“I know that, but I also know you three beautiful girls always work together on everything. Taryn may be the actual designer, but you’re the one I talk to most of the time. Taryn and Sharris can come, too, if you’d like. It’s too long since I’ve seen any of you girls.”
He still considered them all beautiful. Conrad knew about the fire. Of course he did. He was not only a customer of her father’s but a good friend. But he hadn’t come to see any of Billy Cord’s daughters since it happened. She didn’t know why he’d stopped visiting and had never asked. He must have his reasons. All their business had been done over the phone.
When she remained silent, he spoke again. “So what do you say? Can you come by and pick me up, since I don’t drive anymore?”
She hated the fear that ran through her. There was no way either Sharris or Taryn would go with her. They’d already told her they had plans for the day. Her reluctance wasn’t due to being overweight or overly shy, like Taryn. It was the idea of going into a public place where everybody that saw her would stare at her with pity and start their awful whispering. At least when she and her sisters were together, some of the attention would be focused on the others instead of all of it being on her.
Conrad knew about her disfigurement. He’d called her many times to tell her he was praying for her, but did he have any idea how bad it really was? What could she do? She saw no way she could turn him down without hurting his feelings, but there was one thing she could do to avoid the public display. “What if I just come to your house? I’ve already had breakfast, but we could have coffee if you like. It’ll be just me, though. The others are busy today.”
“That’s a wonderful idea. Gee, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen any of you girls. Why have you stayed away?”
Why had they stayed away? Why had he stayed away? Was it also because he couldn’t bear the thought of seeing her the way she was now? She spoke quickly in an effort to still her raging mind. “I can be there in an hour, if that’s okay.”
“I’ll see you in an hour, Marna.”
He hung up the phone with a satisfied smile on his lips. Why had he never done this before? Billy Cord wouldn’t be happy at all to know he’d ignored his daughters like he had. He couldn’t unders
tand it himself. It wasn’t that he wanted to do it. He loved those girls like his own, but still, even though he’d kept in constant phone contact, he’d been unable to face them, in person, after the disaster. Why did he always do what he shouldn’t and not what he should? It reminded him of the apostle Paul, when he asked himself that very same question.
With a sigh, he walked into the living room again and back to the window. The children were still running around, laughing and having such a good time. Oh, to be young again! He recalled the days when he and his siblings played together. It was forever ago. Now they were all gone but him. Why had the Lord taken away everyone he loved? Quickly, he dismissed the thought. The Lord knew what He was doing, always and forever.
His attention was averted when he caught sight of a familiar black pickup truck slowing down at the end of his driveway. Devon! Had his grandson read his thoughts and decided to come for a visit because of it? Conrad smiled, then laughed aloud. Devon came often, even though he lived and worked so far away. He never ignored his grandfather. It just seemed to the old man like he still wasn’t there enough. It would make him totally happy if the boy just moved in with him.
The boy. He laughed again as he watched the tall, slender, dark-haired young man get out of his truck. Devon took a moment to say something to the children. It must have been funny because they laughed and then went on with their playing. Would Devon ever have any children of his own? The question of his mind brought on a sad memory. At only sixteen, Devon had seriously thought he was in love and things had gotten out of hand between him and his girlfriend. She’d gotten pregnant. What a time that had been! They were too young to wed. Devon’s parents, Con and Reeka, were devastated, but finally decided to help the girl’s parents support the child when it was born, whether or not the young couple ever married. As it turned out, the girl miscarried. After that, their sizzling relationship faded away and they broke up. After graduation, she went on to college and never came back. Devon never fell in love again. As far as Conrad knew anyway. With his good looks and friendly disposition, surely there must have been someone else in his life between then and now. It had been eleven years.