Beneath the Scars

by Joan Fennell Carringer

  Devon laughed again. “We wound up taking Suzi skating with us. We had a ball, Mom. That little girl can learn anything she sets her mind to, and she’s the most fun person to be with. Other than Marna, of course. Who knows, maybe we’ll have a little girl just like her someday.”

  Reeka gasped. “You’re moving a little fast, aren’t you? Just last week you decided you were in love with her and now you’re talking about the two of you having a child. You’re scaring me.” She was definitely doing the right thing that morning. This ridiculousness had to be stopped!

  “Of course we’ll get married first.”

  She swallowed. Oh, God, have mercy!

  He didn’t seem at all aware of her uneasiness. “It might happen, Mom. Maybe not for a while because we’re just getting to really know each other right now. But the more I’m with her, the more I want to be, and I think she feels the same way about me.”

  Why wouldn’t she? She should be counting her blessings that someone that looked like Devon would look at her twice, let alone be thinking he was in love with her. She glanced at her watch. Five minutes since she’d looked the last time. Why hadn’t she set it up for earlier?

  Devon came closer and kissed his mother’s forehead. “You’ll come to love her, Mom. Once you get to know the real person beneath those scars, you’ll never even notice them anymore.”

  It was never going to happen. Absolutely no way.

  Devon and Conrad left for church and Reeka went to the kitchen. She needed to eat a bite of something to help calm her nerves. Why was she feeling the way she was? She was doing the right thing. It was the only thing she could do. She fixed a small bowl of cereal but then just sat there looking at it.

  “I wish you were here, Con,” she said to the emptiness surrounding her. “But then again, maybe it’s better you aren’t. You’d be on Devon’s side. You two always stuck together on everything, no matter how I felt about it. This time, the ball is in my court.”

  She looked at her watch. She still had time, but she decided to leave anyway. She’d just drive slowly. There was no use staying in the house talking to her deceased husband.

  There were very few people in the restaurant when she arrived and none that she knew. She was glad of that. Of course, that was one of the reasons she’d chosen this particular place. She’d never even been to this little town before, so it was highly unlikely she’d be recognized.

  She waited quietly, sitting at a secluded table in the back of the room and sipping coffee. Each time the door opened, she looked up expectantly, only to be disappointed every time. What if she didn’t show up? Over and over, Reeka checked the time. She was already a half hour late.

  Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. Maybe she should get up and leave and forget about it. What was she going to say to prove she only had her son’s best interest at heart and nothing more? The longer she sat there, the more nervous she became.

  It was too late to change her mind, because the next time she looked up, she saw her walking through the door. For a moment, her beauty took Reeka’s breath away. Her long, shiny black hair and dark eyes were the same, but now she had a maturity about her, a confidence that had totally eluded her the last time Reeka had seen her.

  Was she always so strikingly beautiful?

  The young girl walked over to the table and smiled at her. “Mrs. Marks. Or can I call you Reeka now? I couldn’t believe it when you called and asked me to meet you here. I’m dying of curiosity.” She sat down.

  Reeka smiled. “I’m glad you could make it, Rachel.”

  After a brief moment of uneasy silence, Rachel was the first to speak again. “So, how is everyone?”

  “I guess you know Con passed away.”

  “No, I hadn’t heard. That had to be hard on Dev. He was very close to his father.”

  Rachel was the only person who had ever called him by that nickname. Reeka had forgotten about it until now, but she hated it just as much as she ever had. Her son’s name was Devon, not Dev.

  “So how is he?” was Rachel’s next question when Reeka remained silent.

  “He’s well and happy.” She needed to cut out the chit chat and get right to the point. “At the moment anyway. I just hope he stays that way.”

  “What do you mean? Is something wrong with him?”

  “Not physically, but I’m afraid he’s very close to making a big mistake.”

  “Why are you telling me this? We haven’t seen each other for years. Why do you think you need to confide in me about your concerns for him?”

  “I love my son, and I want him to be happy. As much as I hate to admit it, I think you might be the only one who can give him a chance to find that happiness.”

  “Are you trying to say he still cares for me? Him and me were over years ago.”

  “No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. It’s not why I’m here.”

  “Then why are you here? Let’s be honest with each other. When Dev and me were sixteen, you couldn’t stand me and you didn’t want him to have anything to do with me. Suddenly, all these years later, you’re hinting that I’m the only one who might be able to make him happy. Have you had a change of heart? Are you suggesting I make an effort to get back together with him? If you are, you’re wasting both of our time. I didn’t want him then and I don’t want him, now. And I’m sure he’s been over me for a long time. We’ve both grown up. At sixteen, with raging hormones, we both wanted sex, but when I got pregnant, it was the end for me. I don’t regret miscarrying. It was the best thing that could’ve happened, and the second best thing was when we broke up.”

  Reeka’s mind was reeling with the memory of how devastated Devon had been when Rachel had lost the baby, and now she was talking about it as if it hadn’t mattered to her at all.

  Rachel continued. “We had a lot of good times. He was special to me, but I never really loved him. He always cared a lot more than I did. So now that we have that out of the way, why are you here? Why did you go to all the trouble of finding me again? He’s a grown man now, but it seems like you’re as intent on interfering with his life as you ever were.”

  Rachel was more arrogant than Reeka remembered, but she refused to be intimidated. She’d come this far and intended to at least try to get Rachel to see the dilemma she was in. “I guess that seems like what I’m doing, but I love him and I’m worried about him. I don’t care how old he is. Devon is involved with someone who is totally wrong for him, and if the relationship continues, they’re both going to wind up with broken hearts. I thought if you were to get in touch with him again, maybe run into him – accidentally, of course - it would give him a chance to remember what he had with you and make him realize he wants someone who can make him feel like that again, and that the one he’s with is definitely not the right one for him.”

  Rachel stared into Reeka’s eyes, her own filled with disbelief. And something else. Disgust?

  “Look,” Reeka went on, “he’s staying at his grandfather Mark’s place in North Carolina for a while. If you can help me, I’ll give you the address and some traveling money.”

  “I don’t believe this. I absolutely don’t believe it. But do you know what I do believe? That there is not a woman anywhere that you think would be good enough for your only son, Reeka Marks.” Rachel stood up, her eyes flashing. “I always thought you were a meddling mother, but now I know it for sure. If I ever do run into him – accidentally, of course – I’m not sure I could even look him in the eye without pitying him – because of you. And, don’t worry, I’d never tell him what you did. No matter what, you’re still his mother and I’m sure he loves you.” Without so much as a goodbye, she turned and walked away.

  Reeka’s heart was pounding. When she’d called Rachel, she’d been desperate and it was the only thing she could think of that might actually open Devon’s eyes to see the mistake he was making. All he needed was to see Rachel again, to have her bring back enough memories to get his mind off Marna. Once he realize
d he wanted again the kind of love he remembered having with Rachel, he’d know that Marna couldn’t give it to him. Then he’d let Marna go and keep looking for the one woman who would be right for him. It had seemed like such a simple plan, one that wouldn’t wind up hurting anyone. The sooner Marna realized there couldn’t be anything between her and Devon, the less heartbreak she would have to go through. And as for her son, Reeka had only his happiness in mind. She knew what was best for him.

  Didn’t she? Suddenly, she started having second thoughts. Had she just made the biggest mistake of her life? Was it too late to undo it?

  ∞ TWENTY-SIX ∞

  MARNA WAS AWAKENED very early Monday morning by the ringing of her phone. Even though Devon had started calling every day, it was too early to be him. When she saw his name on the caller ID, she immediately wondered if something was wrong. It was barely daylight outside. What time was it? When she noticed it wasn’t even six a.m., she was more concerned than ever and answered quickly.

  “I hope I didn’t wake you,” he said.

  “Is everything all right?” Conrad! Oh, surely something hadn’t happened to his grandfather, but he was really old and…

  “Everything’s okay. I’m sorry. It didn’t occur to me you’d think something bad happened. I just wanted to talk to you.”

  She smiled, relieved and happy. He just wanted to talk to her. What beautiful words. “Okay. My ears are both open.”

  “My mother is gone.”

  “Gone?”

  “She went back home. When Pops and me got in last night, she had already packed her suitcases and was loading them into her car. I asked her why she was leaving, since she’d intended to be here at least another week. All she’d say was it was time for her to go. It wasn’t so much what she said, Marna, but the way she said it. She seemed upset about something, but when I asked her if everything was all right, she assured me it was, that she just needed to get back home. I know my mother well. She thinks everything through thoroughly before doing anything. When she does something on the spur of the moment, there’s usually a reason for it.” He paused a moment and then continued. “It never dawned on me until after she was gone that she had been acting kind of strange yesterday morning. I asked her if she was going to church and she said she was meeting an old friend. She wouldn’t tell me who it was, but she seemed kind of nervous about it. Maybe I should have insisted on finding out more.”

  “You don’t think she could be in some kind of trouble, do you?”

  “I don’t know what to think. She didn’t seem scared, just anxious. Oh, I’m probably making a mountain out of a molehill.”

  “But isn’t that better than making a molehill out of a mountain? You love her and you can’t help being concerned about her. Have you heard from her since she left?”

  “She called to say she’d gotten there okay. She sounded more like herself by then, but it seemed odd how many times she told me she loves me.”

  “Why would that seem odd? She’s your mother.”

  “You don’t know my mother. She’s never been very verbal about her feelings. I think she always figured I knew without her saying it. Dad was the one who constantly told me he loved me, not Mom.”

  “I wish I could remember your father, but I was so young when you moved away, I can’t even recall what he looked like.”

  Devon laughed softly. “Wonder no more. Just look at me and you’ll see him.”

  What a handsome man he had to have been! Of course, Reeka was a beautiful woman. At once Marna stopped her thoughts. She was too happy to wind up comparing herself with Devon’s mother.

  Devon spoke again. “I’m probably doing all this worrying for nothing. There’s never been a time my mother wasn’t in control of any situation, and I’m sure she still is. She probably got homesick and just decided to leave.”

  “Probably.”

  “But, just the same, I may need some additional convincing. You might have to keep telling me, so it can sink in enough for me to believe it. Maybe you could repeat it over breakfast.”

  She smiled. “Breakfast sounds good about now. If you want to come over, I’ll fix it.”

  “No, I don’t want you to go to all that trouble.” He laughed. “You might make me help clean up the mess afterward.”

  She laughed, too.

  “I’ll pick you up and we’ll go wherever you want. How’s that?”

  “It sounds wonderful. I can be ready in a half hour.”

  “That long? I’ll be starved by then.”

  Again, they laughed together and she disconnected the call.

  The morning passed by like minutes. After a leisurely breakfast, he drove around for a while. He stopped at The Dollar Tree – his favorite store, he told her – and they browsed a little. When he noticed her admiring the little dancing solar figurines, he bought her one of each different kind. When they were back in his truck again, he told her that every time they started dancing, it meant he was thinking of her.

  She was deeply touched by his words. Was there a man anywhere else in the world as sweet as him?

  He laughed suddenly. Had he known how sentimental she’d been feeling and was purposely bringing her out of her melancholy? She didn’t have time to wonder, because he unexpectedly leaned over and kissed her very lightly on the lips.

  When their eyes met, his were twinkling. “That was just a promise of something better to come.” Without another word, he started the engine. “You know what?”

  What she knew was that her head and heart were both reeling from the unexpected kiss, not to mention what he’d said. “What?”

  “There just happens to be a comedy playing at the movies somewhere this afternoon.”

  “Somewhere?”

  “Sure, all we have to do is find out where and go. What do you say?”

  “I say, let’s do it!”

  As it turned out, there was nothing playing they wanted to see, so they went to the video store to see what they could find there. When they came across the old movie, Cocoon, they looked at each other and both of them shook their heads. They’d seen it before, but for some reason, they both wanted to see it again. Taking it back to his grandfather’s house, Devon put it in the DVD player and told Conrad and Marna to get comfortable while he made some popcorn.

  As the story played, Marna laughed and she cried, just as she’d done when she’d seen the movie years before. A time or two, when she looked over at Conrad, she noticed the largest grin on his lips. Was he wondering, at his advanced age, what he might have done if given the chance to go someplace where he’d be forever young?

  Devon met her gaze and smiled. Then he slipped his arm around her and she leaned her head against his shoulder. It seemed perfectly natural to be sitting there like that, but it also seemed like the movie ended much too quickly. It delighted her when Devon said they’d get the second part soon and watch it, too. Every time she was with him, she liked him more than the time before. Was it too much to hope that he was feeling the same way about her?

  After the movie, they ate sandwiches and decided to put a perfect ending to the day by going to visit Ottie again.

  They found him in the recreation room with some of his friends. One lady, in particular, sitting beside him in her own wheelchair, seemed to be the main attraction as she sang the old country ballad, Cowboy Jack.

  “Oh, my goodness!” Conrad gasped. “I haven’t heard that song in years. My mother used to sing it.”

  “I never heard it,” Marna said, speaking softly so she could still hear the words of the song.

  “It sure is a sad song,” Devon said when the lady finished singing.

  It was then Ottie looked up and saw them. “Well, would you look whose here! Conrad, you old fogey, you didn’t come to see me for years and suddenly you’re here every time I turn around. I’ll bet it’s because of that beautiful young lady with you, isn’t it?”

  Marna grinned, determined not to blush. Would she ever get used to being called be
autiful?

  “It’s all her fault,” Conrad said. “Shall I turn her over my knee and spank her now or later?”

  “Aw, let it wait. Let Devon take care of it later. What you can do is say hello to Hazel, here.” Ottie patted the hand of the silvery haired lady in the wheel chair beside him. “Compliment her on her singing so she’ll do it more often.”

  Hazel blushed, but her eyes never left Ottie’s face.

  Marna and Devon looked at each other and grinned. The two were sweet on each other. What a precious thing to see, that love didn’t only happen to the young, but also to the young-at-heart, no matter how old the body outside that heart was.

  Ottie spoke again. “You got here just in time, Conrad. Look at all these sleepy people. Go put those old boney fingers on that piano keyboard and put some life into this place. Give us a good old boogey-woogey tune!”

  Although his fingers weren’t nearly as agile and quick as they once were and the tune was a little slower than it should be, the place was quickly livened up. Eyes popped open, old arthritic hands that rarely moved started clapping and feet tapped to the beat of the music. Some tried to sing in crackly voices and totally off-tune, but it only made everything better.

  When the music stopped, everyone clapped. One old man who had appeared to be asleep a moment before suddenly jerked himself upright, put two fingers in his lips and whistled.

  Ottie wheeled himself closer to the piano. “You could just move in here with me and we could do this all the time, you know.”

  Totally ignoring him, Conrad looked at his grandson, his eyes twinkling. “Okay, boy, you and Marna are the only ones here who might be able to dance, so show us what you got.” Without waiting for an answer, he slowed down the tempo and began playing Last Date.

  “Oh, I love that song,” Marna said, smiling, “but I really don’t want to……”

  She didn’t have a chance to finish because Devon grabbed her and pulled her into his arms. “Just look at how happy everybody is,” he said softly against her ear. “You can’t take that joy from them by refusing to dance, can you?”