Facing Redemption

by Kimberly McKay

  “Are you afraid to sit next me Anne?” He smirked in hopes she may have feelings left for him.

  Not willing to admit anything, Anne did her best to shoot her most evil look. And with her painful headache overriding her heart at the moment it wasn’t hard. “No, I can’t stand to be near you but not for the reason you think.”

  “Look Anne, I’m…” He started before she cut him off.

  “I don’t want to hear it. I got an earful when your pet project was getting her some … extra credit? Come on – that was pretty lame even for you.”

  Brent looked wounded. “I’m a professor and have students in and out of my office a lot. It’s not what you think.”

  Anne stared at him with a look that easily translated to ‘how dumb do you think I look?’

  “OK, maybe it’s what you thought, but it was nothing. She’s a flirt and it honestly only happened one time.”

  “I am not going to even argue the point on whether it only happened once or if you’re a repeater cheater. I don’t care because all it takes is one time and that’s enough for me to say we’re finished.”

  “Come on Anne. I miss you. We’re good together.” Brent cooed and tried moving back to the couch. After another evil eye sent his way, he thought twice and stayed put.

  “Yeah, I thought so too. That’s why this is so sad – because you had a good thing going with me and now you’re the one who’s going to regret it. Now get out of my house - and out of my life for good!” She was too weak to walk him out, so she sat with her head in one hand, and her other pointing toward the door.

  “I’ll let myself out.” Brent quietly said.

  “Yeah, you do that.” She said softly before lying back down.

  “Call me if you change your mind Anne. I’d like to work it out.”

  “Don’t hold your breath.”

  Brent slowly lifted himself out of the chair and resigned to walking out the door and out of her life. The door shut firmly but softly in place. Anne was silently grateful he was kind enough to at least be thoughtful of her headache.

  The tears came soon after and she cried until she could no more. There in her quiet dark room, she lay in silence wondering what next…

  Chapter 34

  Two months later

  The café was busy on a typical winter day. Classes were about to break for the holiday and Anne was working vigorously in the kitchen. All Good Things, by Nelly Furtado, was playing on her small radio while she was putting the finishing touches to her signature sandwich, an Ellen Degenerous. It was what put her on the map years ago.

  Most people were quick at first to point out that the sandwich was misspelled, because Ellen’s last name is spelled ‘Degeneres.’ Anne would just laugh and let them know it’s because of her generous topping of shredded chicken and secret sauce, all piled on a toasted sesame bread. It left the patrons drooling for more when they finished and word spread of the other famous concoctions she made from scratch.

  Anne’s first love had always been her deli, but somehow her heart really wasn’t in it anymore. After her break up with Brent, she’d thrown herself into her work and ignored most everything else. Having a life just didn’t appeal to her anymore.

  Anne thought at first it was because of a broken heart, but she was stronger than that. She refused to grieve over a guy for long. In fact Brent had stopped in from time to time, to test the waters and Anne greeted him like anyone else. She served Brent with a smile, and promptly turned her back to him to help the next customer.

  Brent got the picture pretty quickly and soon thereafter stopped dropping by. No, Anne wasn’t broken hearted. She was just lonely.

  Chastity broke the news about the move to Oklahoma not too long after their dinner at the Edison, which was quite a blow. Anne knew that it was best for Chastity, as she had her own life to live, but it felt harder to accept than Brent’s betrayal.

  Within weeks Chastity and Timothy moved to Oklahoma leaving Anne with little to no social life. Although she took it to heart, Anne knew she had to keep moving forward. And it’s not that Anne didn’t have other friends, as she had plenty of acquaintances, she just didn’t have much care for small talk or niceties anymore.

  All she cared about was … well she wasn’t sure what she cared about. Anne had been contemplating what should come next in her life for two solid months and nothing had come to mind.

  With Chastity gone, it was like a member of her family had gone. She didn’t miss Brent or having a boyfriend anymore. She missed having Chastity, which her support system, around. It was like her right arm was missing. And now looking around her, she wasn’t sure what was holding her here anymore.

  At that moment Jim popped his head in the kitchen door. “Hey - lunch rush is almost over. We’ve got three more Degenerouswiches with a side Portia salad.” Anne nodded in response and looked up to smile at Jim. He stopped and smiled warmly. “You’re doing well today Annabel.”

  She shot him an evil eye for using her real name, but laughed it off. “Yeah, I am.”

  “You’re working way too hard though…you need some more fun in your life. The other day, me and the misses were talking about you.”

  “Uh-oh. That doesn’t sound good.”

  She took a good hard look at her café manager and realized just how much he put of himself into this place. She had been renting the apartment over the café to him for the three years he’d worked here. She’d never forget the day he strolled into her café.

  She’d just bought the building, and finished the interior. Chastity had helped paint and decorate. Her friend’s artistic capabilities came in handy, and had done wonders to transform the dingy grey walls to a masterpiece of bold colors and scenes splashed across them.

  Both girls were winding down and were alone in the café, when what looked like a big biker dude walked in, with tattoos covering both arms. Any woman might have felt at a disadvantage in that scenario, but Jim had the kindest eyes…the kind of eyes that might belong to a Labrador.

  Jim needed work but didn’t have much work history to speak of. He was young, rough around the edges, nor dressed for an interview, but she could easily see he was willing to work hard. She looked outside, behind him, to see a broken down beat up car with a woman inside.

  “My wife and I just rolled into town and I saw your ‘now hiring’ sign,” Jim said, referring to her front window.

  “Where are you from?” Anne asked

  “Here and there, but most recently Arizona. We came back to California to start up a new church, and my wife’s family is near here.”

  “So you’re planning to stick around for awhile?” She asked as he looked like a wanderer.

  “Yes, ma’am. We’re trying to find a place to stay now. We’re in town for good though.”

  “Okay. Do you have a resume?”

  “No, but I can give you phone numbers and references. I’m helping start the church but I’ve worked in kitchens and restaurants all through college.”

  “You went to college?” Anne’s eyebrows shot up. Chastity quickly elbowed her friend.

  “What my friend means is, what college did you go to?” Chastity tried to cover her friend’s blunder.

  Jim laughed. The twinkle in his eyes is what did it for Anne. She knew she was going to hire him no matter what his references. He reminded her of her dad, minus the tattoos and piercing.

  “I went to Cal State ma’am.” Jim politely answered.

  That’s how Jim and Anne became friends and co-workers, and he’d been with her ever since. Jim was her backbone and took on working at the café with 100% ownership in everything he did. He didn’t stand around watching others work; he pushed up his sleeves and did what needed to be done … all the while working at his church and starting a family.

  Anne took a good hard look at her café manager and decided he deserved more - more than just being a café manager. He talked all the time about the blessings in his life; his wife, new baby, and friends while sti
ll struggling to make ends meet. He gave the glory to God for everything in his life, which wasn’t something she was used to hearing but it was pleasant just the same.

  Anne was struck in that moment of just what was supposed to come next for her, and how she might make things a little better for Jim and herself.

  “Hey Jim!” She called before he made it all the way back to the counter.

  “Yeah,” he replied sticking his head back through the kitchen door.

  “Next time you talk to your wife about me, you tell her I’ve been thinking about you guys too. Thanks for all you do here…you’re a great manager and friend. I know I don’t say that often enough.”

  Jim winked in response. “Want to put that in writing? I was getting ready to hit you up for a raise this month.”

  Anne laughed and threw a towel at him. It missed his head as he ducked back out the door. She heard his laughter all the way into the restaurant, and knew now what she had to do.

  Too bad she wouldn’t be around to hear his shouts of joy for what was to come next.

  Chapter 35

  His dreams had not subsided…not really, but they had definitely changed. At the point where he would normally be grasping his throat struggling to breathe and wake up drenched in sweat, he was now sleeping through as the ending had changed.

  John’s night terrors had gone from the rash squeezing the life out of him, to what seemed to be a large hand placed on his forearm, which stopped the rash from winding all the way up his neck.

  That night it started out the same. The same appealing piece of fruit tempted him in his sleep. He reached for it and rubbed it on his lips before taking a forbidden taste. The insides spilled over his hands causing the hives to take their journey to the nightly suffocation that tortured John in his sleep.

  Right before he awoke, a new but familiar twist to his dream took place. A gentle hand reached for John’s arm and stopped the path of the dangerous allergic hives. Tonight however, John took his dream a step further. He reached for the hand of the stranger and squeezed it in thanks. He then took that hand in his own and looked up to the stranger. Peacefully staring back down at him were the most loving eyes he’d ever seen, and he felt an angelic glow about him that was undeniable.

  This time John awoke with a start but not for the usual reasons. His heart was calm and almost peaceful. His chest was tight but not from pain. It constricted with love for his heavenly Father. John lifted his knees up to his chest as he sat up in bed. He let out a large breath, thankful for once for the dream and the ending.

  “Same thing, same time?” Andie groggily asked, sitting up next to him. She rubbed a hand across his back.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you babe.” John let out a breath and wiped a tear from his cheek, one he didn’t even feel slip away. He gently leaned over to kiss his wife on the cheek.

  “Well it’s not like this baby doesn’t have me up every hour to go pee in the middle of the night.”

  “It’s practice for when she’ll be feeding.”

  “Ah, you’ve been reading up on the baby books?” Andie smiled. Even in the middle of the night John could see how beautiful she was.

  “Of course.”

  “You’re going to be a great dad.”

  “I’m not so sure.” John gave her a sideways glance.

  Andie shook her head and rumpled his hair. “I am.” She leaned back carefully to find a comfortable position. “So when are these dreams of yours going to let up? Did Leo give you any indication on why they’ve surfaced in full force lately?”

  John nodded and lay on his side next to her. He stroked her belly and smiled. “He says it’s because you’re pregnant and it’s resurfacing some of the guilt from my past.”

  “That’s not who you are anymore.”

  “You amaze me. I don’t deserve you.” He leaned over again to kiss her gently on the lips.

  “You’re right.” Andie laughed.

  John leaned back on his pillow and put his arms behind his head. “Tonight’s dream was different.” He proceeded to describe his newest vision to his wife.

  “So do you think it was God? And He saved you from choking?”

  “Yeah. I can’t explain it. But deep down, I know it was.”

  “Well it sounds like He’s doing his best to reach out to you. And since you’ve been reading your Bible and taking your faith more seriously, I think He’s healing a part you that has been damaged for so long. He’s saving you from some of your guilt by offering His forgiveness.” Andie yawned before finishing, “I’m happy for you sweetheart. I’m so happy.” She smiled sweetly and caressed his face.

  Andie had prayed for this moment for a very long time. God had been laying John on her heart, since the second she’d laid eyes on him at the bar, which was the night they met.

  “I think I should fire Leo and keep you as my shrink. You’re good!” John whispered.

  “I’m good, but God is so much better.” Andie mumbled, trying to keep her eyes open.

  “Go back to sleep sweetie. I’m okay. I’m going to be okay.”

  Andie nodded and murmured something inaudible and fell into more deep breathing. She was asleep. John looked at her in awe. She was the reason he’d come so far.

  Instantly in his heart he felt a tug and reconsidered. God, you’re the reason I’ve come so far. You’ve just used Andie … and Leo to open my heart. He felt a certain peace move into his heart. Grateful to what had transpired in his private thoughts; he slipped off the bed and went to his knees.

  It was as if all of heaven was singing in his heart tonight. He finally had some release from what had been haunting him every night. He had a good Christian woman for his wife, who was a stellar example of God’s love. And he had a baby on the way. Maybe, just maybe, it would work out with Chastity too.

  Chapter 36

  For months Chastity’s wedding had been planned. Cheryl and Lauri were invaluable resources and between the two, they helped her book everything from the wedding planner, who reminded Chastity a bit of Franc from the last Steve Martin movie she watched, to the church and everything in between. She had two close friends, standing up for her as bridesmaids. She knew Anne and Terri were going to look stunning in the eggplant color she’d picked out. And the short hemline would show off their legs.

  The only thing missing was finding her perfect wedding dress. She’d been putting it off for the duration of the wedding planning. Buying a wedding dress without her mom was too much for Chastity to endure at the moment. Although she was elated to be marrying the man of her dreams, it was hard without her momma smack dab in the middle of it.

  Timothy had secured a new job with her uncle and part of his zoning team. He wasn’t practicing law, but he studied the zoning laws to the point where he was Jesse’s advisor on any property or projects that encompassed the downtown area. He was making a name for himself, and was good at his job.

  The Banks family still had in-home health care but it was no longer a round the clock necessity. Mr. Banks had been making large strides, in part to be ready to walk down the aisle at his son’s wedding without a walker. Mrs. Banks made a countdown pad with how many days till Timothy and Chastity’s wedding that she placed next to his bed. It was his motivation for each day…to get stronger and walk without support. It was working quite successfully.

  Both Chastity and Timothy still had separate houses, but no longer had a long distance relationship. Living within miles of one another had taken their relationship to a whole new level that gave them a clear vision of what it was like to live in one place. Timothy stayed at his parent’s home for a while until either his father got better, or he couldn’t stand it any longer, and two months later, he moved into a rental home in Chastity’s neighborhood.

  Chastity’s spacious home had three bedrooms, three baths, and a loft. As soon as she moved in, she promptly converted her loft into an art studio to keep her paintings and easels. On this particular day she sat in her loft, in
her overstuffed papa-san looking through the Cosmopolitan Bride. Frustrated, she quickly tossed the magazine aside. Inside were plenty of dresses that anyone would be lucky to wear. The problem wasn’t the magazine. The problem was that Chastity wasn’t just anyone. Even some of the unique Victorian dresses she saw weren’t doing it for her. I bet I’d rock any of those dresses. But I don’t love any of them…and what good is dress shopping without you, mom?

  It dawned on Chastity that it wasn’t just her mom. There were two people amiss in her wedding planning … her mom and Anne. Her heart tugged for both of them. Chastity sighed and blew some of her bangs out of her eyes and leaned back into her chair. Everything else was going according to plan. She had the guy, who had the job. She knew her guy’s family was making progress and doing better. She was getting closer to her uncle and his family. She felt like a normal person with roots for the first time in her life … but she missed her bestie.

  As if Anne was reading her mind, her phone started ringing. Chastity jumped and ran for her cell when she recognized Anne’s ring tone. She answered with a smile.

  “Was your mind burning?” Chastity giggled.

  “What?” Anne exclaimed. “What does that mean?”

  “You know when someone’s talking about you – your ears are supposed to burn. When someone is thinking about you … oh never mind.” Chastity laughed. “It’s good to hear your voice. I miss you.”

  “Well if you would visit more than one time in two months.”

  “I know. I’m long overdue!”

  “Yeah, you drop the bomb on me that you’re moving to Oklahoma only a week after flaunt your ring.” Anne teased.

  “I wasn’t …” Chastity stopped when she realized Anne was kidding. “I’m sorry.”

  “Look, we’ve gone over this a million times. I’m happy for you. The timing sucked for me, but it’s not about me. This is all you baby, but now that we’re back to talking about me,” Anne hinted.