“I was married. My wife … died.” He put his head back on the pillows but kept his eyes on Eva.
“I am … sordy.” Eva did not say anything else. She walked quickly into the kitchen.
Liam noticed that the news of his wife seemed to stun her. She looked like she was about to cry when she left.
Just then, the little girl came bounding into the kitchen from the other bedroom. Ellen is her name. She looks like her father. She seems to be very intelligent, too, and a bit precocious. He smiled at that.
“Mamma, Pappa said he would take me to the Finn Hall today. There’s some kind of dinner there. He wanted to go.” The girl spoke in English.
“I tink you go,” Eva said. “You don’t vant … Sunday School vit Saimi?
“No. Pappa wanted to sleep. Then we would go at noon.”
Eva gave the girl a plate of eggs and bacon. She took it to the table to eat.
The older woman, Saimi, arrived in the kitchen. She and Eva spoke in Finnish as Saimi poured herself a cup of coffee and had breakfast.
~~~
A short while later, Saimi knocked at the door way and came into the room where Liam was convalescing.
“You look liddle bedder.” She smiled as she stood next to the bed, hand on his head, checking his temperature. “Eva said you vife died. I am sordy. How lonk ago?”
“Four years.” Liam turned his head away.
“I am sordy, Mr. Dady. It hurts to say tinks ’bout it.”
“It’s that I don’t talk much about it. I know you and Eva—Mrs. Mattson mean well.”
“Maybe dats vhy you puniss youself vit drink and fight.” Saimi put the back of her hand on his forehead again, then patted his arm.
“Ye may be right,” Liam said honestly.
“Maybe you haff more vork to do ’bout it,” Saimi said.
“Oh, aye …”
Saimi left the room, smiling, pulling the door half way closed. Then she put on her coat and left.
Liam rolled to his side with his back to the kitchen, curled up, and cried.
~~~
After sleeping for a while, Liam woke to Victor and Eva having words in their bedroom. He had no idea what it was about because they were speaking in Finnish again. He felt uncomfortable and wanted to leave, but he was still too sick. He could feel the DTs coming on even stronger. He was hoping he would have an easy time with it. Some people did, and some didn’t. He saw a movement in the kitchen and turned to look. It’s the little girl, listening at her parent’s door. She’s worried about them. She has to be. Look at the anxiety on her face. Suddenly, as if by telepathy, Ellen looked at Liam and discovered he was looking at her. She gave him an ugly, accusatory stare and walked away, only to show back up at his door.
“You are big trouble for my Mamma and Pappa,” Ellen announced in English, rolling the R in “trouble.”
Chapter 5
Five days later, Eva was walking Liam up and down the front hall as Saimi changed the linens and blankets on the bed. His alcohol withdrawal had tapered off.
“I hope I wasn’t too bad,” he said.
“You cry ’bout Dolly. You keep fall out da bed. Ve tie you hands down.”
“I’m sorry, Eva.”
“You not happy.”
The worst of it lasted roughly thirty-six hours. He vaguely remembered that Dr. Andersen had come to check him in the middle of it.
Now, Liam noticed that his muscles were weak, as Eva had to support him, and that he’d lost weight. The sun was out and he looked out of the foyer windows at the blue sky. The sun gave him a better feeling. Eva was a comfort to him. Liam looked at her. She noticed and looked back. It was definite attraction, but he knew it was wrong. He stopped acknowledging it and averted his eyes. He was feeling fatigued by the time Saimi said she was done with the bed change.
Suddenly Eva asked, “You vant to use privy outside? You not have … seeit. You yust have piss. I don’t know vat else to call ... seeit.”
Liam looked at her for a moment, puzzled. “Do ye mean shit?”
Eva looked embarrassed. “Yes, I can’t say dat vord.” Her face colored.
He smiled. “Don’t worry. You say words in yer home language that I’d never get my tongue to do.”
Eva gave him a shy smile.
She’s so beautiful … still so sad …
She helped him put on a coat and boots, and they both stepped out into the sun. He took a deep breath of fresh air. It was a weak sun, but sun nonetheless. He stepped into the privy and closed the door. He did, in fact, need to use it. Several minutes later, he opened the door to see a wind-blown and freezing Eva waiting for him. Her ears and nose were red from the freezing wind.
“I’m sorry I took so long.”
“I don’t vant … you get hurt. The pat is ice. You maybe fall.”
“We’ll hold each other up, then,” he said. “Are ye ready?” He held out his arm.
She took it with barely perceptible enthusiasm.
~~~
When Eva got Liam back to bed, he was exhausted but feeling better than he had in a long time.
“I don’t know how I did what I did for the last four years. I just discovered I must’ve felt like shite. The drink kept me from feelin’ it.”
The long explanation in his heavily inflected Northern Irish brogue left a puzzled look on Eva’s face. He smiled at her. When he did so, something occurred to him. They were getting along very well, too well.
“I don’t know … vhat you say,” Eva said smiling, almost laughing.
His face must’ve showed his anxiety because she lost her smile.
“I’m goin’ to leave in a few days, Eva. It’s wrong for me to stay. Ye’re married. Yer husband doesn’t want me here.”
Tears welled in her eyes.
“Ye don’t even know me,” he added, speaking softly.
She stood looking wounded, then went to the kitchen.
Christ, she wants me to stay. Christ, I want to stay. This is not good. What have I been doin’? I’ve got to stop. It’s so easy to feel… somethin’. What the hell is goin’ on between her and her husband that she’s so upset I’m leavin’? And the wee girl was so troubled about me bein’ here. No doubt. It’s time to leave.
After cooking that morning, Eva came to Liam at dinner time. He was resting in bed.
“You like to eat … vit me on a table? Nobody’s home now. Victor maybe seven.”
Liam hesitated, but acquiesced to her invitation. He was leaving, more than likely the next day.
Even though Liam and Eva were at the same table for mid-day meal, they shared no words, except at the end.
“I know … you vant to go,” Eva said. “Yes, my husband hate you. Ellen is not happy.”
At that moment, Victor suddenly came in the front door. Surprised, Eva and Liam nervously stood and watched Victor walk into the kitchen.
Holding his head and looking anxious, Victor said something in Finnish to Eva. “And you, Irishman,” he blurted in English, “pay up and go. I tink you are after my vife. If I vas not sick, I vould fight you.”
Eva hissed something back to Victor with anger in her voice.
“I’ll leave tomorrow,” Liam said. “And don’t worry, I’ll pay. I said I would.” Liam remained calm and cooperative.
“Good!” Victor retreated into his bedroom and slammed the door.
Eva and Liam, still standing where they were when Victor cut through the kitchen, stared at each other, stunned at the open accusation. Eva began to well up.
“I so sordy,” she whispered.
“So am I, Eva. Perhaps I’ll leave now. This is hurting you. I don’t want that for you. Thank you so much for everything. You and Saimi helped me a great deal.”
“Vhere you go?” Eva inquired with great concern.
“I was supposed to go see Dr. Andersen tomorrow one last time. Perhaps I can call and if he can see me this afternoon, I’ll ask there if there are any more boarding houses or rooms to let.”
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“I vordy ’bout you … still sick. Call on a phone.”
Liam gathered what effects he had, gave Eva the money he owed and, after calling the doctor’s office, was able to get an appointment at three that day. Eva walked him to the front door and followed him to the top step of the front porch. She huddled in the cold wind.
“Don’t stay out here, it’s cold,” Liam said. He didn’t want Eva to get any impression of his feelings for her.
“I come from verdy cold place. Dis not cold.”
He mustered a slight smile, and gave her a long gaze. “I hope things iron out with yer husband.”
She looked into his eyes. Her own eyes were very serious, very blue. “I …” She tried, but she dropped her gaze to the stairs, almost in shame.
“Don’t worry about explainin’ to me. I Thank ye again.” Liam stopped her because he knew something was painful about her life.
He stepped off the top stair, down the others, and headed out the open gate, taking a left into town. He walked fifty feet or so and turned around to look. She was still standing, arms folded, watching him. He watched as she brushed her cheek with her fingers. She was wiping away her tears.
~~~
Eva went back inside and started to clean up after the mid-day meal. Her heart was confused with her attraction to the Irishman and her obligation to her husband. At one point in her life, Victor had meant everything to her. She had loved him deeply. But it felt like she didn’t anymore. What do I do now? I am so lost. She put the dishes in the sink to wash later and put the leftovers in the ice box. I should go in to see Victor. He seemed sick when he came home. I’ll get the aspirin powder and some water.
Eva walked quietly into the bedroom with the headache remedy. Victor was lying on his back, head to the side. One hand was covering his eyes. He looked at her.
“Why are you torturing me with this man, Eva? I said I was sorry for my transgression, and I said I would never do it again.”
“I came to give you medicine for your head,” she announced quietly, devoid of emotion.
“Why, Eva? Why?” Victor pleaded in a whine.
“Stop this, Victor.” She had lost her patience. “The Irishman left. He will not be back.”
~~~
Liam headed toward the hospital. On his way to his appointment, he noticed a soda fountain called Murphy’s.
After his appointment, he stopped by there, and Edward Murphy, a compatriot of Ireland, rented him a room in his apartment above the fountain.
“I’m a widower. Me daughter’s married, and the room is available,” Ed told him.
“That’s grand. I was lookin’ for a place to stay for a while.”
Chapter 6
Eva and Victor’s marriage was beyond repair. Eva didn’t know what to do, and it didn’t seem like Victor did either. It was scandalous to be divorced, so they stayed estranged in the same house, sharing a bed, but no love. Eva cried during the day when Ellen was at school and Victor was at work. They managed a bare-bones effort for Ellen. Eva knew that Ellen had known something was terribly wrong when she saw her father with that woman. Eva chalked it up to a child’s unconditional love that Ellen forgave him. Ellen and her father both carried on as if the encounter never occurred, giving Eva relief that Victor still had his beloved Villi Ruusu. Eva could see Victor starting to give up on any happiness. She knew he punished himself for the mistakes he had made, starting with leaving Finland and bringing her here, where she missed her family and homeland. Perhaps that’s why he still sees other women, she thought. She had known it all along, but hadn’t wanted to admit it. She saw it clearly now, however. It just doesn’t matter anymore.
~~~
For three weeks after Liam left, Eva and Victor carried on in the Mattson Boarding House, both as miserable as ever. One morning, as Eva and Saimi prepared the household breakfast, Eva was distracted by having to tend to a fussy eight-year-old.
“Mamma, my nose is stuffy, and I have a headache,” Ellen whined.
Eva turned to Ellen and put her hand on her daughter’s head to see if she had a fever. Victor came from the bedroom, looking horrifically pale. It was very alarming.
“Victor, what is the matter with you?” Eva asked.
“I have a headache again. But if I just give it a minute or two, it will go away and I can go to work.”
“I can give you aspirin,” Eva suggested. She still had a hand on her daughter's shoulder.
“Oh, Yesus Christ, Eva. It really hurts!”
Eva became increasingly alarmed. “Victor, what is it?”
Victor screamed, grabbed his head, and ran out the front door to the front walk. She followed with a dread she never knew. Once there, he threw up and collapsed in the snow.
“Victor! What is the matter?” Eva ran to him in her slipper socks and no coat. She dropped to her knees. “Get up, Victor. I’ll take you to the hospital.” She tried to lift him up, but his warm body was deathly limp. “No, no! Come back, Victor. Don’t go. I’m sorry. So sorry. I was angry. I won’t be anymore. I promise.” She wailed and fell prostrate on his body.
She felt Little Ellen suddenly next to her, wailing, too, and trying to help her mother revive her father.
~~~
One evening, three weeks after he left the boarding house, Liam sat reading the local newspaper. His eye caught Victor Mattson’s name in the obituaries, of all places … died suddenly … survived by his wife of nine years, Eva Maki Mattson, and his daughter, Ellen Franciina Mattson, a mother and father … funeral services will be held …
“Holy God,” Liam whispered. “Eva …” His heart broke for her. He couldn’t stop thinking about her and cried himself to sleep that night.
~~~
The next thing Eva remembered after Victor's death was being at the Finnish Lutheran Church in Virginia, Minnesota, Ellen attached to her side. Her husband was lying in an open casket. People came to her.
“We are so sorry, Eva. So sudden, it was. How are you doing?”
It was as though someone had told everybody to say the same thing to her. She couldn’t focus. People would come close, then move away, then someone new would come. She just sat in her chair at the table in the fellowship hall.
~~~
Liam was there for the church service, but he remained in the back and left before Eva or Saimi could see him. She looked awful, definitely in shock, he thought as he caught a cab back to Murphy’s. All the things he had tried to forget about Dolly’s death came flooding back. He desperately wanted a drink, but he fought it off. He didn’t want that life anymore. He actually liked being sober again. It was hard for him, though, especially when Ed Murphy poured himself a couple of shots each night.
“Liam don’t ye want a shot o’ Jamesons?’
“I was a hard drinker for too long. Doc told me to stop.”
“Ye know, how ye told me all about Annie MacDonald back in Belfast?”
“Aye, what of it?”
“Don’t ye tink ye should write her? Ye seem to miss her. Somethin’ else is botherin’ ye as well.”
“Before I came here and ye rented me a room, Ed, I was stayin’ at the Mattson’s boardin’ house. The wife and the cook got me through the DT’s and a bad case of bronchitis. Eva—the wife and I were gettin’ a little too close. I meant nothin’ by it, but her husband gave her grief about me. So as soon as I could, I left. Now her husband has died suddenly. It brought back memories of the loss of my wife.”
“Ye went to the funeral? Did she see ye?”
“No, I knew she was in a bad way. It would’ve complicated things. She needs to grieve.”
That night Liam finally wrote to his Annie.
~~~
Eva knew she wasn’t doing well. It had been a little more than a week since Victor’s funeral. She could barely function and she didn’t care. It was too painful in her heart to move and think she could go on with life. She heard Dr. Andersen talk to Saimi.
“Saimi, she’s bad. She’s very d
espondent. She needs to eat and take care of her daughter.”
“Sees vake up for Ellen, and dey talk, but vhen Ellen vent back to school, Eva vent back to bed. Sees eat and drink, but not enough.”
“Can ye try some more things to eat? Some of her favorites.”
“I vill try, Dr. Andersen. I can get Ellen to help me. Sees sad, too, but not as bad as her Mamma.”
“I’ll be back tomorrow, first thing. You call me any time if she gets worse.”
~~~
Later that day, Dr. Andersen ran into Liam on the street in front of Murphy’s.
“I’ve been vondering vhere you’ve been, Liam. Can you join me for some coffee inside?”
After Dr. Andersen explained the dire condition Eva was in, Liam answered. “Let me sleep on it,” he said. “I want to help her, but I don’t want to make things worse. That's what happened when I was there. I’m still a grieving widower, and a dried-out alcoholic myself. How can I be of any help?”
“I think it's fair to add that to the equation. Something tells me you’re going to be fine in the long run. I can sense it in your demeanor now that you’re sober. Eva’s friend, Saimi, can’t watch Eva around the clock, and I am serious about possible suicide. I am at the end of a short list of ways to treat a severely grieving widow. It's our last option before hospitalization. I saw Eva come alive a bit when you showed up. She had been depressed about her husband’s sterility, then his extramarital affair.”
Affair? No wonder she was angry, Liam thought. “I’ll go right away,” he said. “Ye want me there ’round the clock?”
“For the short term, if you’re still just recuperating and not working. I’ll keep a medical eye on both of you. How’s that?”
Liam packed his things and told Ed what he was doing.
“Mrs. Mattson, ye say? I’ve seen her around with her husband and daughter. They would come in once in a while for a soda. She’s beautiful, Liam.”
“Aye, she is that, but she’s hurtin’ right now. Perhaps I can be of assistance. Doc Andersen thought she warmed to me while I was there, in spite of her difficulties.”
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