“Good luck,” Ed said. “Stay in touch.”
“I will. I’m just a mile down the road.”
~~~
Liam walked the half-mile down Main Street to the Mattson Boarding House. He still felt weak and out of shape.
He stopped momentarily at the front gate, gazed at the house and took a deep breath as he opened the gate. He wondered if going in was going to do harm, or good.
Saimi answered the door. “Liam, I am SOO-prize to see you. Vhat you do here?”
“I heard what happened. Doc Andersen asked me to come to help out, since he thought Eva seemed better when she took care of me.”
“He tell you ’bout Eva and Victor’s troubles?”
“Not everything. He’s very concerned about her emotional health.”
“I’m ready to try anytink, now. Come in.”
Liam put his bags down and sat at the kitchen table with Saimi.
“Sees verdy bad,” Saimi said. “Sees stay in bed. Only sits up for Ellen, but I take almost full care of Ellen. Eva doesn’t eat mutts. Ve haff no Christmas.”
“I can start right away. I think she could use a sauna. Can you get it hot?”
“Yes, I can. Can you get somptink for her to eat? Dere is some liha mojaka—beef soup, on a stove. Yust like you eat.”
“Is there that juice available?”
“In a icebox.”
“Let’s get to work then,” Liam said with purpose.
~~~
Liam cracked open the bedroom door. He found Eva in the dark, asleep. It was nearly three in the afternoon. He came in with a bowl of soup, the meat and vegetables chopped up into small bites floating in the savory beef broth. With lots of iron, he thought. He also carried a glass of mehu, which he liked to call the magic elixir. He set them down on the bedside table. He opened the drawn curtains to let the daylight in, and then he pulled the rocker next to the bed nearest Eva. Before he could sit down, though, he changed his mind and sat on the edge of the bed.
“Eva,” he called. “Eva.” He was a little louder. She stirred. “Eva, ye must get up.”
Her eyes opened. She blinked multiple times.
“Eva, ye’re gettin’ up now, and havin’ a bite to eat.” Liam was authoritarian, but gentle and kind in his demeanor.
Eva gazed at him, bleary-eyed and unfocused.
“Come on, that’s a good girl. Let’s sit ye up. I have some soup, this MOYa-ka, like ye call it.”
He gently pulled her up into a sitting position and propped the pillows behind her. She had lost weight. It was concerning.
“We’re startin’ to get ye back on yer feet, so ye can take care of Ellen,” he said. “She misses ye. We’ll have somethin' to eat, and after that Saimi and I will take ye into the sauna and give ye a bath.”
He could see her beginning to focus on him and her surroundings.
“Vhat you do here?” she said weakly.
“Ye nursed me back. I came to do that for you. I know what happened. I’m sorry, Eva. Doctor Andersen asked me to come help.”
“I don’ vanna liff,” she said morosely.
“Well, ye’re gonna have to for Ellen.” Liam spoke with a touch more sternness to make a point. What she said put real concern into the situation. He definitely would have to stay now. Andersen was right.
“I kill sees fadder,” Eva said with sullen emphasis.
“No. Ye didn’t. He got sick on his own. That’s what happened.” This time, Liam was much sterner. “Did ye hear me? He got sick on his own.” Liam filled the spoon with broth and put it to Eva’s lips. He softened somewhat again. “Drink it, Eva.”
She sipped it, gazing briefly into his eyes. She seemed more focused.
“Good girl,” he said softly. He smiled as he filled the spoon again.
Liam gave her several spoonsful with small chunks of meat, potato, and carrot. He noticed the more she ate, the more she wanted. She glanced at him now and again, concentrating mostly on the spoonsful of sustenance coming her way.
“I knew ye were hungry,” he said, soft and gentle.
“Mamma!” Ellen came into the room. “You are eating! I knew you vould.”
“Hello, Ellen,” Liam greeted her.
“Vhat are you doink here? I tought you vent avay.”
“I was still in town. Then I heard what happened to your Pappa. I’m sorry.”
“I miss him,” Ellen said.
“And then,” Liam continued, “Dr. Andersen asked me if I would come to help.”
Liam left the explanation simple. Ellen's stand-offish demeanor implied that she was not happy to have him back. He knew she understood there was conflict between her parents when he was there before, so he was not surprised she would be ambivalent about him being there again. He would let it go, since Eva was in severe trouble.
“How would you like to help give your Mamma some juice?” he said. “You call it MEH-hoo?”
“Yes, I can do it.” Ellen answered with serious confidence. She squeezed in between Liam and Eva and took the glass.
“I can drink, Ellen,” Eva said in English. She smiled faintly at Ellen and took the glass. The mother and daughter looked into each other’s eyes. Ellen smiled at her.
Eva definitely puts an extra effort in for her daughter. That’s a good sign. Ellen will be effective.
When most of the juice was gone, Saimi came back from firing the sauna. She stuck her head in the room. “It’s not steaming hot, but warm enough in ’bout haff an hour. Eva, you are eatink. Dats good!”
“Mamma, do you vant some bread and butter? I can get it.”
“I like lil bread.”
Ellen flew to the kitchen. Eva and Liam could hear Ellen’s exuberance with clanking silverware and plates and asking Saimi to cut a piece of bread for her. Liam watched Eva closely, as a doctor would his patient. While Ellen was on her mission, Liam could see a bit of a spark in Eva’s eyes. She suddenly gazed at him. He could see she had some ambivalence about him being there. Well, he had it, too. The ambivalence would have to lie in the background for the time being.
“Dr. Andersen asked me to come back. I was glad to come for a while,” he said again.
~~~
Saimi and Ellen accompanied Eva into the sauna, with Liam waiting in the dressing room. On the walk out, Liam noticed Eva’s difficulty in walking, no doubt from lying in bed for more than a week and not eating properly for longer than that. She would regain her strength by simply being up and about. One step at a time, he thought. Before the women went in, they took a long while to comb out Eva’s hair. It had gotten extremely tangled after days of neglect. When they finally got to the washing, Liam sat on the dressing room bench. He would get up now and then to check on his patient through a small window in the wall between the dressing and steam rooms. Eva didn’t talk much, but she cooperated and even helped do some scrubbing. She’s so depressed. Jesus, she’s lost weight. I felt ribs it when I lifted her. This may take a while, he thought. I’ll have a bed set up in her room. I would like to be there at all times for her. Saimi may not like it, but it’ll have to be done, at least for the next few days.
While Ellen was giving the final rinse, Saimi came out of the sauna dripping wet. “Vhat is next, Liam?” she asked after closing the door.
“I’d like to have a bed or cot in the room with her, at least for the next few days. If she wakes in the night, I want to be there. And, for the record, there will be no untoward advances on my part. Dr. Andersen sees, as I do, the seriousness of her present emotional state.”
“I know he does. I can get cot and some blankets. I know you von’t hurt her.”
“Let’s keep her away from that bed until this evening. She can help cook supper. We’ll get her back to a routine, without her feeling like we’re pushing too much.”
“Puss yust lil bit,” Saimi said with a slight smile.
“For the days, she ought to have somethin’ to do. What does she do for a hobby? I saw knitting and mending. Something lik
e that.”
“See says see had loom in Finland.”
“Where can we get a loom?”
“To order vould take veeks. But my friend Arvid has loom at his house. Hees vife is die. I call him. Nobody’s use it. Maybe ve can buy it from him.”
“Let’s get her weavin’, then. Do ye think we can call him now?” Liam felt a bit of urgency at getting Eva back to the living. “Perhaps we can get it here tonight. We have to keep her from the bed for periods of time. It’ll take time to wean her from it, but the sooner we start the better.”
~~~
Saimi ran into the house to call about the loom.
“Arvid gonna sell loom, for good price,” Saimi told Liam in a whisper when she came back to the sauna. “Ve can get it today. You go vit horse and buckboard.”
“That’s grand.”
Eva and Ellen came out of the sauna and into the dressing room.
“I dry you, Eva,” Saimi said.
Liam took Ellen outside to talk. “Don’t let her back in bed until past supper. I’m heading to Arvid’s to get a loom. We need to keep her busy during the days.”
“I like dat,” Ellen said. “She’s very sad my Pappa died.”
“If we all work together, I know we’ll get yer Mamma on her feet again.”
~~~
A short while later, Liam, bundled against the cold, hitched the horse to the buckboard in the barn. With some cash in his pocket, he drove to Arvid Huttunen’s farm a few miles down the road where he procured the loom. Arvid’s grown son Arne came along in one of their carriages to help unload it. Arne, Liam, and Ellen carried the bulky structure into the parlor. Arvid also gave Liam a wooden box of supplies, two shuttles and tools, plus two large linen bags stuffed amply with strips of woolen cloth. Eva, still weak on her legs, came in from the kitchen to watch them set the loom in a sunny window.
“Hello, Eva,” Arne greeted her respectfully. “I think you will like this.”
“What do ye think?” Liam asked Eva. He moved slightly closer to her. He wanted to pull her into the activity. He noticed how Ellen clung to her mother.
Eva gave Liam and Arne a faint smile of appreciation, but overall, she remained recognizably despondent. She did, however, go to the wooden box of supplies and gently rummaged through. Ellen helped.
Saimi looked at Liam with an expression of hope. Liam raised his eye brows in response. He hoped that this loom would help Eva start the long climb out of her profound grief and self-imposed guilt, something of which Liam knew much about. He still got a strong sense that Eva was uncomfortable with his presence. It would be a gentle dance to be present for her as well as keeping his distance. He didn’t know for sure how this was all going to work.
~~~
That first night, Ellen coaxed her mother to sit in the rocker while she read to her from Mark Twain. Finally, Eva began to yawn. Ellen put her mother to bed, kissed her, and then went to bed herself. Liam went into Eva’s bedroom. It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep. He sat in the rocker for quite a while switching between reading a magazine by lamplight and watching Eva. Her face lacked the haggard look she wore while she was up. She looks peaceful, he thought. She was still pale and her cheeks were sunken. Somewhere around ten, Liam lay down on the cot and dozed. He was awakened at one in the morning by crying. It was Eva. He got up and sat on the edge of her bed.
“Eva, it’s all right, let me hold ye, darlin’.”
He scooped her thin body into his arms and held her like a child. He rocked her back and forth for several minutes. He felt her relax and cuddle into his chest. When she started to calm, she did something that took him by surprise. He didn’t know what to do other than just let her do it. He thought she was mostly asleep anyway. Eva pulled her nightgown up, put her hand in between her legs, and brought herself to a climax in Liam’s lap, all the while nuzzling him. When she finished, she emitted a giant sigh and went limp.
She murmured something in Finnish.
“That’s a good girl,” Liam whispered in response.
He laid her back on the bed and made sure she was covered. He went back to his own cot. He lay awake for a while, thinking about Eva and what she had just done. I’m not surprised really. The orgasm probably made her feel alive again. It’s a good sign, although now I’m mightily aroused. He left it alone, however. It felt wrong for him to gain satisfaction from her rudimentary start at regaining her life. He let it wane on its own and fell asleep.
~~~
For the next few nights, Liam rocked her in the dark. She didn’t touch herself again, but seemed to gain comfort from him holding her. During her days, Eva puttered on the loom for short periods of time after breakfast in her nightgown. She didn’t make any attempt to dress. After a few days of this, Liam got an idea. He spoke to Saimi in private.
“I’ll get her dressed in the morning while you tend to the boarders. I’ll get her started. Don’t worry, I’ll avert my eyes if she’s uncovered. But she needs to get out of the nightgown for the day.”
~~~
“Good morning, Eva,” Liam said the next morning, yawning and shuffling through her dresser drawers, pulling out undergarments. “Did ye sleep well?”
“Vhat you do vit my bloomers?”
“No more nightgown all day.” He laid the garments on the bed.
“I’m too tired.” She got out of bed.
“Ye can’t go out and about in yer nightgown.” Liam thought she was still in a physically weakened state. This was one of those dances he had to play just right.
“I don’t vanna go novhere.”
“Either ye dress yerself, or I do it.”
“You can’t make me.” She crossed her arms. Her furrowed brow deepened further.
“You’ve been hungry these last few mornings, and I’m standin’ between you and your pancakes, so I suggest ye get dressed.” He felt more like a disciplining parent than a doctor. Her anger was better than despair, though. She’s makin’ progress, he thought.
It was a momentary stand-off with Eva muttering what Liam guessed to be vulgar Finnish epithets by her tone. Glaring at Liam, she pulled her nightgown over her head and stood naked before him in defiance, then quickly sat down on the bed and pulled on her winter stockings and undergarments. She huffed as she worked.
“I know ye’re not happy with me, but Ellen will be so happy to see ye.”
She looked up at him. He saw a softer expression.
Jesus, she’s beautiful, he thought. She’ll put on the weight she lost and get those curves back again. I already see some. He temporarily lost composure and could feel himself blush from the neck up. He averted his eyes, as he told Saimi he would do, by walking to the small, shallow closet to see what was in there.
“What do ye want to wear?” he asked.
“I get it,” she snapped.
When she was done with her undergarments, she came to the closet and stood next to Liam. “You vait in a kitsen. Go ’vay,” she groused.
“This mornin’ I’ll wait in here. Tomorrow may be different.”
Chapter 7
Eva woke to her monthly cramping and a foul mood. It was already light out. Mid-March seemed more like winter than spring, but she was grateful for the clear sky and sun. Looking up from her pillows, she discovered Ellen was already up and eating breakfast. I don’t want to get up, please don’t let me get up for anything. It was her half-prayer to anyone who might be listening. In the time since Liam had come, she struggled every day, but it seemed to be getting easier overall. I am glad I don’t want to die anymore. Liam was right that I need to be here for Ellen. She was grateful for his help, but sometimes she wished he wasn’t there to make her do things. I just don’t want to do anything with him today. Please, please let me alone today. She sat up on the edge of the bed. She noticed the sun had not arrived at the north side of the house yet. Even though the house was warm, the thought of the frigid air just beyond the walls and windows made her shiver. I will be happy when the spring co
mes. Her head ached, and her belly cramps made her nauseous. She stood and prepared to dress. Ellen had the habit of rushing in just when Eva was getting dressed, right when the boarders were eating, so Eva moved to a corner of the room that hid her. Ellen did not disappoint. As soon as Eva was naked, Ellen busted in from the kitchen.
“Mamma, breakfast is ready. Are you?”
“What does it look like, Ellen?” Eva said in Finn, struggling with how she addressed her well-meaning daughter.
“It looks like you’re naked,” Ellen said in English, whispering and closing the door.
There was a time in Eva’s past that she would’ve giggled at the Villi Ruusu’s answer, but she could not muster it up that morning, so she continued to get dressed.
By the time Eva stepped out from her bedroom with Ellen following, the boarders had gone to get ready for church. It was just Saimi in the kitchen. She spoke to Eva, who cringed. She knew she was about to be asked to do something.
“I want you and Liam to shovel the path and hitch the horse to the sleigh. Have some coffee, then you can eat when we leave.”
“Please don’t wake him,” Eva said in Finn. “I don’t want to see him this morning. He’s here day after day. I don’t get to be by myself.”
“That’s not entirely true. He agreed to stay on and help. We need it, Eva.”
~~~
That same morning, Liam lay in bed, looking out the window, noting that even though it was mid-March, the weather was as bad as January. About two weeks after he came to help, he and Ellen had traded places to sleep. Eva had made enough progress so that Liam was no longer worried about her taking her life. Christ, it’s cold here, Liam thought for the thousandth time that winter. At least the sun was higher in the sky. Spring? That’s a joke! It was another sub-zero dawn. Liam heard the stirrings of Saimi and Eva in the kitchen through the closed bedroom door. He could hear the ladies talking and sensed a strong edge to Eva’s part of the conversation, which meant she was in a foul mood. At least she’s not in despair. Her moods are wicked, especially when she got her monthly in February. Jesus, she was the devil’s own. It’s comin’ on again. He had been keeping track. He had been very close to Eva in his care of her, so he knew when she had worn her cloths.
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