by Leigh Fallon
“Let’s wait until the others get back.” Adam glanced sideways at Rían. “And put some clothes on, for Christ’s sake.”
“Jealous?” Rían swung his arm up into a bodybuilding pose and laughed as he left the room.
The back door opened. I expected to see Áine, Chloe, and Sebastian coming in, but instead it was Matthew and Caitlin.
“Hey! What are you guys doing here?” I asked as Adam surreptitiously took the pages down from the window and stacked them on the counter behind him.
Matthew flushed and let go of Caitlin’s hand. “We were kinda hoping we could watch a movie or something. Do you mind?”
Adam raised his eyebrows. “Sure, whatever. But as soon as Fionn gets back, you’re going to have to tone this down.”
Matthew smiled broadly. “Sure. I’m going home tomorrow, anyway.”
Caitlin looked at him with her practiced puppy-dog eyes.
Matthew took Caitlin’s sad face in his hands. “Oh, Caitie, I’ll be back in a few weeks, I promise.”
“Caitie?” I mouthed at Caitlin, hiding my silent guffaw from Matthew. Caitlin gave me a sly kick and hooked her arm through Matthew’s.
“Eh, guys, the sitting room is that way,” Adam said, pointing to the hall. “Take as much time as you need.”
Caitlin skipped ahead, winking at me as she passed.
Adam scowled. “I don’t like Caitlin being with him.”
I laughed. “Why not? They seem like a good match.”
“This is all a game to him. He’s using her.”
“Caitlin has her head screwed on. She knows he’s leaving.”
“Yeah, but he’s too old for her. And he’s a player. You should talk to her.”
I put my arms around Adam and hugged him as tight as I could. Burying my face into his neck, I breathed in the smell of his warm skin. I think I loved him more in that moment than I ever had. “I’ll talk with her tomorrow. Promise.”
“Good.”
Rían wandered back into the kitchen, this time fully dressed. “Come on, let’s call this number. Maybe we’ll be able to track down Hugh.”
“I don’t think you should,” Chloe said, coming in the door with Áine and Sebastian. “I think we should leave this all alone. Cú will be back tomorrow. Let him handle it.”
Adam glared at her. “Do you know something you’re not telling us?”
Chloe shook her head. “What if someone is looking for you? Your number will lead them right back here.”
“Rubbish. It was a number that Hugh had. I’m dialing it.”
Chloe threw her iPhone on the table. “At least use my phone so it can’t be traced back to you.”
Adam dialed the number and hit the speaker key while we all waited anxiously. It rang three times before a female voice answered the phone with a curt “Hello.”
I held my breath, waiting for someone to say something, but no one did. We all looked at each other. Chloe rolled her eyes and stepped forward. “Hi. We’re sorry to bother you, but we were wondering if there was a Hugh at this number?”
Silence hung on the other end of the line for a few moments.
“I think you have the wrong number.”
I stood stock-still. I knew that voice. My eyes met Adam’s in a horrified glare.
Caitlin walked into the room talking. “Megan, does Adam have any crisps or—”
Rían grabbed her around the waist and put his hand over her mouth, while Adam dove for the end-call button. I wasn’t sure who got silenced first, Caitlin or the cell.
Caitlin mumbled something through Rían’s fingers and tugged his hand off her face. “What on earth is going on?” she gasped. “Why am I being manhandled by Rían?” She turned her eyes to him and smiled a bewitching smile. “Not that I’m complaining or anything.”
“Who was that?” Chloe asked, looking from me to Adam.
I picked the cell off the table and stared at it. “It was Petra.”
“Petra?” Sebastian asked.
“The woman who just moved into my house.”
Twenty
HATE
Caitlin glanced around at our startled faces. “Am I missing something here? Why did you just hang up on Petra?”
I sat down on the bench, stunned. Petra was using Dad to get to me. I scowled at Chloe. “She’s a Knight, isn’t she? You’ve been watching us longer than you’ve let on, haven’t you?”
Chloe took a step backward but held my eye. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Megan.”
Wind blew through the kitchen and whipped Hugh’s instructions from the counter, tossing them around the room. The doors slammed shut as my hair twisted upward.
“Áine, get Caitlin out of here.” Adam perched next to me and gripped my shoulders.
“What’s going on?” Caitlin demanded. But Áine was already dragging her away.
Anger flared inside me. “You might have been able to screw with me, but nobody screws with my father. Do you have any idea how long it’s been since he’s been with someone? Do you?” I strained against Adam’s hold on me.
Chloe backed up against the wall. “Megan, I swear, she’s not a Knight.”
Rían moved between Chloe and me, putting his arms up protectively. “Megan, you’ve got to calm down.”
“I don’t want to calm down!” I shouted. “She’s been going out with my dad for months. He loves her. And it’s all been a game!”
Sebastian edged forward. “Petra is not one of us.”
Power twisted and stabbed my chest, sparking in front of my eyes. I blinked hard, trying to see through the blur of the element obstructing my view, trying to fight the urge to unleash its strength on Chloe.
“Listen to them, Megan,” Adam whispered into my ear. “Petra’s been living in Kinsale for years. Long before you arrived. It wouldn’t make sense.”
I struggled for control, focusing on my breathing and the grounding sensation of Adam’s hands on my shoulders. Uncomfortable silence filtered through the thudding pulse that continued to hammer inside my skull. “So if she’s not a Knight, who is she working for?”
Rían started collecting Hugh’s pages from where they were scattered around the kitchen. “My guess is Order.”
“Really?” Chloe asked.
“Who else could she be with?” Rían said as he sat down beside her. “She can’t be Knox. We would’ve sensed danger from her if she was.”
Adam shook his head behind me. “Something doesn’t make sense. If she was Order, she wouldn’t have been keeping her nose out of our business. I hadn’t even heard of her until Megan moved here.”
Rían scratched his jaw. “Well, if she’s not Order, Knights, or Knox, then who the hell is she?”
Blood still pounded through my head, beating against my skull from the inside. I winced, wishing the pain would stop. Then, like someone had flicked on a flashlight in the darkness, I was standing in my sitting room at four thirty a.m., speaking with Petra. “I got an important phone call I had to take,” she’d said. Hugh had called her! Suddenly I knew where I’d heard the circle thing before.
“An Ciorcal Iomlán,” I said, cutting across their theories. “Hugh said it, the night he left, before he disappeared. Petra said it too.” I shook my head. “When I got back to my house the night that Rían went after Chloe, Petra had been on the phone. She’d been talking to Hugh—I know it. She said we had to stay together, that the Ciorcal Iomlán had begun.” I wriggled out of Adam’s embrace, grabbed the papers stacked on the table, and found the ones with the swirls and writing. “What did you say ‘Iomlán’ meant, Adam?”
He looked over my shoulder. “I’m not sure. I think it means f—”
Chloe interrupted. “It means the full circle.”
I swung around to her. “How do you know that?”
“It’s part of our Knights’ oath, from the original Irish translation. ‘Nourished by earth, warmed by fire, quenched by water, and enabled by air, bound are we until the circle comes full.�
�� An Ciorcal Iomlán.”
The pounding in my head slowed and released me from its painful clutches. “What is all this about?” I whispered.
Chloe glanced at Sebastian nervously.
“Caitlin!” I jumped back, banging into Adam. “Oh my god! I completely lost it in front of her.”
“It’s okay,” Adam reassured me. “Áine got her out of the room before the worst of it.”
“I have to talk to her.”
Adam wrapped his arms tighter around me. “We need to figure out what we’re going to do about Petra.”
“No. I need to talk to Caitlin first.” I shook off his arms and ran to find my best friend. I peeked into the sitting room. Matthew was there, glued to the TV. No Caitlin.
I went up to Áine’s room. Inside, Caitlin stood at the window. I followed her gaze over the lush farmland that spread in a green haze into the horizon. She drummed her nails impatiently on the windowpane and swung around as soon as my boots clattered on the floorboards of the room.
“I’m going to leave you girls to chat.” Áine jumped off the bed. She threw me a warning look before she closed the door.
“What was all that about?” Caitlin half laughed with a wild look in her eyes. “I mean, seriously, weird phone calls, Rían molesting me, you freaking out at Chloe, and all that friggin wind and slamming doors! It was like a scene from The Exorcist or something. Then Áine abducts me and keeps me in here against my will for half an hour.” She winced and rubbed her temples. “And now I’ve got a god-awful headache. What on earth is going on?”
Áine! “Caitlin, I’m so sorry. This is . . . complicated.”
“What I saw downstairs was a lot more than ‘complicated.’ What are you hiding from me?”
“I . . . I can’t tell you.”
Caitlin flinched like she’d been stung. Her wide eyes suddenly narrowed, and her mouth settled into a tight line. “I see.”
“No, you don’t. Caitlin, there’s stuff going on here that you wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.” For a second, her eyes opened again, honest and accepting. The urge to tell her everything was almost unbearable. Then a knock sounded on the door.
“Mind if I come in?” Adam asked, popping his head around the door.
“Sure,” I said. Part of me was relieved he’d stopped me from spilling the beans, but it would have been so nice not to have to lie to her anymore.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” Adam said. “We’d just discovered that Petra might be cheating on Megan’s dad.”
“Cheating?” Caitlin raised an eyebrow and looked uncertainly at me.
I sighed. “I didn’t want to tell.” I avoided her eyes as the lies sent prickling heat to my cheeks.
“That wasn’t what I was expecting.” She moved away from the window and crossed her arms. The gesture mirrored the barrier I saw going up in her eyes.
Adam’s mouth curled into a lopsided smile. “What were you expecting?”
“I don’t know . . . something major, like Chloe and Megan in a showdown over Rían . . .” She looked up at Adam nervously.
Adam’s eyes went dark. “No. We’re all good.”
“Oh shite, I should learn to keep my trap shut. I didn’t mean to—”
“Honestly, it’s okay, Caitlin. Now, Matthew is banging on about not getting crisps and Coke.”
“Okay. I guess I’ll go down and . . . hang on a second.” She paused at the door and then swung around. “If this is just about Petra, then why did you make Áine take me out of the room? And what was that stuff about Knights?” She looked back and forth between us. “You’re lying to me.”
I took a deep breath, preparing myself to be honest when Adam stepped forward.
“I’m sorry. We’re all sorry, but we need to lie to protect ourselves and you.” I stopped breathing. What was he doing? Caitlin watched openmouthed, saying nothing. “We can’t tell you the truth, and if you ask us questions, we’ll have to lie. So it’s best if you don’t ask.”
Caitlin swallowed hard. “This is about more than gangs and girlfriends, isn’t it?”
Adam slowly nodded.
“And Chloe’s not just a regular schoolgirl, is she?”
Adam shook his head.
“Are you in on this, Megan?”
I hoped Adam knew what he was doing. “Yes.”
She walked back to me and put her face right up to mine. “I’m your best friend. Why won’t you tell me the truth?”
From the corner of my eye, I could see Adam shaking his head. “I can’t. You’ll just have to trust me.”
“Trust you? Why should I, when you don’t trust me?” Her face twisted into one I didn’t recognize. “I’ve kept the DeRíses’ secrets, I’ve covered for you, lied for you, and yet you still shut me out!” A strangled sob escaped her throat. “Well, I’m done,” she said, sliding her eyes from mine to Adam’s. “Done!” She stormed from the room, leaving an aching silence behind.
Adam wrapped his arms around me. “Megan, I—”
“Don’t!” I snapped, pushing his arms away. “Don’t touch me.”
Adam looked like I’d just slapped him. “Megan, this is the way it has to be. This is why we don’t have friends.”
I stepped back and glared at him. “I am not you!”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I haven’t grown up in this twisted little cocoon. I want freedom, I want friends, and I want honesty!” My voice caught as I crumpled to the floor, dropping my face into my hands. “I really thought I had something special here. I had Caitlin. My dad had Petra. And now I find out that I’ve dragged my poor dad into this messed-up world I’m a part of. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?”
Adam’s arms fell to his side.
“And I had you.” I blinked at him through a haze of bitter tears. “I . . . I love you, so much that it hurts.” I clawed at the front of my sweater like it was an obstacle to my feelings. “I want you—I need you—but there’s always something in the way.”
Adam clasped his hands in front of him. “I don’t know what to tell you, Megan. I don’t know what you want.”
“I want my life back.”
“That life ended as soon as you evoked your element.”
The urge to scream burned in the back of my throat. “It doesn’t have to be this way. Open your eyes and look around, Adam. Your world is changing. The Knights are changing, the Order is changing, even the rules are changing.” I threw my arms in the air in exasperation.
He caught my hands midair and looked at me with hauntingly sad eyes. “Do you honestly think that I’ve never felt exactly how you’re feeling now?” The blue in his eyes began to swirl erratically. “I watched my mother and father die; I’ve been moved from town to town, country to country, outrunning an enemy that wants my family. I’ve had friends, great friends, but those friendships only brought me guilt and sadness, fear that I’d endangered them. Sometimes it’s easier for everyone involved if you don’t say hello in the first place. It’s safer that way.” He loosened the grip on my wrists and lowered my hands. “Let Caitlin go. It’s better for her. It was bound to happen sooner or later.”
I glared at him, feeling all the strength in me ebb away. “I hate you.” I regretted the words before I said them, but at that moment, I did hate him. I hated everything he represented.
His eyes dulled, and his face fell still. “That’s just perfect. Maybe you should continue down this immature path of self-pity and follow that elemental pull of yours into Rían’s arms. You might find what you’re looking for.”
The sight of him leaving sliced through my heart. My words echoed in my head, mixing with images of Dad’s happy, loving face and Caitlin’s look of utter hurt. I barely made it to the bathroom, where I threw up every bit of resentment in my body, over and over again.
Twenty-one
DECISIONS
Adam drove me home in silence. Part of me wanted to hug him tight, but I couldn�
��t get past how he’d handled Caitlin.
When we’d called Fionn, he’d accepted the news calmly and had assured us that Petra wasn’t a threat. He and Cú were going to be back in Cork in the morning, and he said they would speak with us then. It suddenly felt like everyone knew what was going on except me.
“I’m not leaving you alone here tonight. I’ll sleep in the car. I’ll be just down the road,” Adam said as he pulled up outside my house.
I leaned against the headrest, swallowing back the tears. “I don’t hate you.”
“I know.” He gripped the steering wheel and gazed out the windshield. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it is time to burst the twisted bubble we live in.”
“Adam, I—”
“I’ll see you in the morning.” The tone of his voice made it clear he was done talking. I stepped from the car, and he drove away with his eyes fixed ahead of him.
I let myself into the house, feeling like a hollowed-out version of myself. Dad and Petra were deep in conversation over a glass of wine. Dad laughed at something Petra said, and she smiled back with eyes that reflected his laughter. They looked so happy, but it was lies. All lies.
“Megan!” Dad said, seeing me standing at the door. “Come in and join us.”
“Thanks, Dad, but I’m going to go catch up on some reading. Do you mind?”
Petra turned to face me. “We haven’t had a chance to talk yet, Megan.”
I glanced at her. “Oh, yes. There’s so much we have to discuss, isn’t there, Petra?”
Her eyes froze as she put her glass down. She pressed her lips into a thin line. “Actually, I got a strange call today. I was sure I heard your name, but we seemed to get cut off. Did you need me for something?”
My heart thudded erratically. “You must have heard wrong. I don’t even have your number.”
She forced a smile. “Funny that.”
“Anyway, good night, Dad.”
“Sleep well, Meg.”
That night, I fell into an uneasy sleep. I was plagued by images of Caitlin’s face as our friendship fell apart, and the sound of me saying “I hate you” to Adam over and over. After waking up with a racing heart for the third time, I lay on my bed and watched as the black dark of night softened with the first hint of a new day. I wished the time away, thinking of Adam in his car down the road. I was just about to go outside to him when a text came in.