Shatter Me Whole (Shattered Lives Book 3)

by Barb Shuler

  While it was quiet I worked on getting the counter reorganized and the shelves restocked. I was sitting at the counter taking a load off my feet and talking to Thor. I was wondering when Officer Landry might be coming back by for his evening pack of Oreo’s and his drink of choice, a Mountain Dew. He’d been in here earlier, and that smile of his made my heart flutter. He made me feel comfortable, relaxed even. It was odd to have a stranger do that to me. I just felt safe around him. Even if he made me nervous. But that was a normal reaction to a nice lookin’ man, right?

  I had a smile on my face at those thoughts until I saw who was at the door. The moment I saw Gerald stalking towards me my body started to shake. I stood up and started to panic.

  “No…”

  “Oh, yes, you’re in so much trouble, you conniving little bitch,” he snarled at me. “What did you tell your new boyfriend, huh?”

  How did they find me?

  Then again, it wasn’t like I was hidden well. This was it. The day my life would end. Thoughts of Taylor and Ryan filled my head as the tears started to roll down my cheeks. I couldn’t even hide right for them. I put up a fight though. I had failed them. I failed myself. No. This was not happening now. I was not letting them win. Not again. They were not going to make me go back to that God forsaken place. No way was I going to make this easy for these disgusting bastards.

  I used every ounce of strength I had in me to take the advantage and get the hell out of there. Gerald was stronger than me, but I was faster. Or so I thought. I kicked, hit and screamed as he tried to grab at me again. I jabbed him in the ribs and turned quickly to kick him in the nuts. Just when I thought I could make some headway Willie came in.

  No. I gasped and tried to run, with no luck there. Gerald had me again and then it was Willie’s turn. I fought, man, did I fight. I tried harder and harder to fight him off. The tears were making my sight blurry. My fighting came to a stop when Gerald’s booted foot pressed into my throat. It was hard enough that I was unable to get in a full breath. I had to blink the black spots away. I wasn’t going to pass out. Fuck no. They would not do that to me. Not again. At Willie’s command he released his foot. I took in gulps of air when he finally released me.

  “You’ve been a naughty girl. You ran from us. No one fucking does that,” Willie said. He pulled out a knife and I swear my heart stopped. I knew what was coming. It was always the same. He’d take what he wanted from me, causing as much pain as possible in the process, then he’d mark my stomach or thigh. It was what he and Collin did. The sick bastards thought it was fun to mark me. Like I was some tally pole.

  I kicked, hit and scratched every inch of him I could get to. He wanted a fight, I’d give him a fight. Or as much of one as I could.

  “What in the fuck are you doing? Stop fighting me, whore!” he snarled before he punched me in the face. That slap of flesh against flesh made me see stars. It took every ounce of self preservation to stay conscious. If I blacked out it would be worse when I woke up.

  “Stop! Please,” I begged only to be slapped across the face. His meaty hand gripped my chin and pulled me towards him. I let the tears fall. They would only make him madder, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to pretend that this was okay. He licked along my cheek and groaned.

  “You still taste so good. Now, stop fighting me or I will make you hurt more,” he said in my ear.

  “P-p-please-”

  “Yeah, that’s it, bitch. Beg for me. You know you miss my dick inside you,” I cried out as he pinched my nipple so hard I saw stars. I shifted to try and knee him in the balls, only to miss when he caught onto what I was doing. He put his hand over my mouth and dug the knife in his other hand into my skin. The burn only increased as my abdomen flexed with the few breaths I was allowed to get. God, please just let him kill me this time. No. I couldn’t think like that. He’d win if that happened. I had to find a way to fight for Taylor and Ryan. My babies needed me.

  “Get. The. Fuck. Off. Of. Me!” I grunted as I slapped his face. The stupid fucker had the nerve to give me a sadistic grin. One that made me swallow back the bile as it rose in my throat. In no time he had my pants down and tossed to the side. His grubby hands moved over my body. I squirmed as the tears fell more. This was my nightmare coming to life. Again. Why me? Why was this always happening to me? He jerked my knees up and before I could buck him away he was slamming himself into me.

  “Pl-please, no!”

  “That’s it, beg for me. You know you want it,” he said, licking the tears from my face again. I cried through the pain of him inside me. My body was on fire and not in a way that anyone would ever want. I begged for him to stop. I begged for him to let me go, but it all fell on deaf ears. His body rocked against mine and I closed my eyes, looking away from him. There was no way any woman would want this or like it. I felt around for something to use as a weapon. When my hand landed on his knife I tried to stab him, only managing to graze his left cheek. He growled out a curse and slammed my hand down on the floor. There was a new pain that shot through my hand and arm but it was overpowered by his body slamming into me again before he grunted with his release. I prayed that was all. Let them just leave me here.

  “You.. want this knife bitch?” he snarled and slapped me across the face before he raised the knife over my face. “Tit for tat whore,” he moved so fast, the sting on my cheek was nothing compared to what came next.

  He raised his arm again and slammed his hand down into my thigh. The sharpness of the pain stole my breath. I refused to scream. The sick fuck wanted that. I bit down on my bottom lip. A sob released as the metallic taste of blood filled it. I spit at him only to be hit again and again as he cursed and snarled nasty words at me. Nothing I hadn’t heard before. I curled up into a ball to try my best to get away from him.

  I could hear Thor barking and whining from where he was locked behind the counter and couldn’t get to me. I tried to crawl away from where he stood, but he couldn’t leave well enough alone. I didn’t dodge fast enough and I got a hard kick to the side. The sharp pain that ran through me was nothing compared to the rest but it was only another reason to try and get away.

  I heard the door open again and prayed they were leaving. It was only seconds later when the ‘whoosh’ came out of nowhere. Thor started barking like crazy and the smoke started to fill the place. “No. Fuck!” I was so blurry eyed I had no idea where I was. Where was Thor? “God, I know I prayed to die… but not like this… please…” The pain finally won out and I had to stop moving, taking as big of a breath as I could manage.

  “Thor, hold on. I’m coming. God, please…”

  The black spots played at the edge of my vision every time I tried to move again, but I had to get him free so we could get out. I was not letting those assholes win. Sobbing I crawled, pulling myself along as best as I could. The heat from the fire was increasing, as was the smoke. I pulled what was left of my shirt over my nose and used my teeth to hold it in place.

  I was in a good spot, being on the floor, I mean. I learned that from watching TV and the fire safety classes they had at school, when I was allowed to go. There was another whoosh and the door leading to the bathrooms and stock room went from dark to fire and smoke filled. The sob that ripped from me caused my entire body to shake.

  As I got to the side of the counter I took in a ragged breath and coughed. My lungs were on fire, as was my throat. My eyes were blurry and the heat was getting too close for comfort.

  “Thor… come,” I gasped out as I reached up to the latch on the gate. He immediately started to nose me and whine. “Come, we have to... get out…”

  I was panting now. My body was fighting me and I was sure the warmth still running down my leg was not a good sign. As I moved towards the cooler case I screamed out in pain. There was something hot on me. I brushed at my arm and cursed.

  “Son of a bitch…”

  There was an explosion of some kind and the crash of glass hitting the tiled floor startled a scream f
rom me. I quickly covered my head and Thor as the sparks and flames flickered closer to us.

  Shit!

  I tried to move again, but a scream of pain shot through me and a burning sensation once again licked up my leg. I tried to get away, but I couldn’t. There was a noise behind me, but I couldn’t turn. I was so tired. The pain was making the black spots move in faster. There was a cloth put over my face and I was lifted up. The movement sent a bolt of pain through me as I was put over a shoulder. I screamed out as a sob racked through me.

  Panicking, I tried to call out for Thor. I heard him bark and a voice that was muffled but close. I thought I was dreaming until we started moving. The crunch of glass was so loud as I gasped for air. There was a crash, we were jostled and again, the black spots closed in on me. Jesus. Fuck that hurts. The crashing of the building around us and the resounding heat was the last thing I heard before my world went silent.

  6

  What in the hell was that?

  Jackson

  After talking about Kristol with everyone, she was on my mind more than ever. She really was a nice girl. I wanted to know more about her. More than the fact that she was nineteen and working at the gas station. She may be a little younger than I should be interested in, but hey, she’s sweet and cute to boot. I also can’t help my body’s reaction to her. It loves to act inappropriately, but in oh, so many torturous ways.

  Making my rounds has never been as dull as it is now. I want to go back by the gas station just to chat with Kristol. I know, I know, I’ve already been by there twice - once for gas and then later for a drink. I’m not stalking her. Well, maybe technically it could be considered that, but her warm smile when she saw me didn’t give me anything to worry about. I’ve not had feelings for a woman like this… ever. I’ve had past girlfriends and hookups, but no one has given me heart palpitations before. Kristol does without even knowing she is.

  As I walked into the grocery store I was greeted by a big smile and a hug from Mrs. Talbert. “Jackson, what brings you by again?”

  “Just checking things out. Have you heard anymore about Kristol?” I said, a sheepish grin pulling at my lips.

  “Not yet, I’m slowly getting things from her. She’s a sweet girl. I can tell ya that. A little skittish, though. Reminds me of Oscar when he was a kitten. Every move someone would make made him jittery. I don’t like seeing that poor girl like that. You make sure you keep a good eye on her, Jackson,” she said, nodding her head as she patted my arm.

  “Yes, ma’am I plan to,” I said, grinning. “Does she have anything new on her balance?”

  “Yes, but only a little dear. I gave her a discount on some things earlier. I didn’t want to bring attention to your generosity or she wouldn’t take it. I don’t like to see young people strugglin’. That girl has a job, she should be able to afford food. Even for that pup too. He’s such a sweet little thing,” she rambled on as she walked back behind the counter and pulled out her ledger. Things in this store are still a little old school. I chuckled seeing the laptop behind her on the counter and raised a brow when she caught me looking. “Don’t you start in on me, too. I don’t like that thing. Shayna uses it when she is here.”

  I held my hands up. “No judgements from me, honest.”

  “Now, where… here it is. The total is fourteen dollars and twenty-seven cents. That covers last night and earlier. She really should eat more. I know what she is doing. Only eating once, maybe twice a day. Then working those god awful hours. She really should do more to take care of herself.”

  “Okay, here, take this twenty and just take from it until you need more. That way she is covered, and you can convince her to maybe get a little more in here,” I said, sliding my wallet back into my pocket.

  “You’re smitten with her, ain’t ya?” I nodded as a huge grin creeped up Mrs. T’s face. “I knew it. Why Jackson Landry, you sly devil.”

  “She’s a nice girl, is all. I really just want to make sure she is taking care of herself. Like you, I don’t like seeing people struggle is all,” I nodded as I pulled a candy bar from the display on the counter and grinned when she gave me a look. I held up my hand. “I had a sub earlier, this is just a pick me up. Honest.”

  “You go get back to work. Stay safe out there,” she said handing me the candy bar. “On me, now go,” she said, waving me out.

  “Thanks. See you later Mrs. T,” I pushed the door open and moved back to my car. After sliding in I started it up. It was hot, but I liked to patrol in the late afternoon with my windows down. It was easier to see what was happening around me. When I turned out of the parking lot a breeze floated in carrying the scent of smoke with it. I wrinkled my nose and glanced around - seeing a dark cloud from behind me I whipped the car around, hit the button on my mic and called into dispatch.

  “37041, 10-70 seems to be coming from the gas station or the motel, please advise. Over”

  “10-69, 37041, no calls at this time. Copy?” Drew replied.

  “10-4,” I said as I gunned the engine. I took the next corner and as soon as I was in sight of the gas station my heart stopped. It was up in flames. Not just little tiny flames. It was engulfed. I slammed on my brakes and jumped out the car, popping the trunk and grabbing my gear. I shoved my feet in the boots, yanked up my pants and flipped the suspenders around my shoulders before I hit the mic again.

  “Dispatch, 37041, 10-78, the station is up in flames.”

  I yanked my jacket on, securing it quickly before I pulled the hood on as a message came from dispatch, “37041, do not proceed until backup arrives. We’ve signaled the fire brigade. ETA three minutes. More back up in route as well.”

  “10-74, there is one person for sure in there. I won’t let her die in there!”

  “Jackson, they’ll be there in three minutes, don’t be a hero!” I heard Drew’s snarl come across the radio and I scoffed.

  Three minutes in that inferno and the whole place would come crashing down. No way was I waiting. I knew it was against protocol, but fuck protocol. Kristol was in there. How did I know that? Easy, she wasn’t outside already. I’d been here not two hours ago and she’d been working alone as usual.

  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

  I had no idea where she would be in there, that was the tricky part. I’d just have to do a grid pattern as best as I could. About the time I slid my helmet on the front window of the place blew. I ducked, but as soon as it was clear I took off running as fast as I could. I could barely see inside. The roar of the fire was deafening. I busted out the rest of the front window and made my way inside, calling out to Kristol. Thankfully it didn’t take but a few long strides before I found her.

  “Jesus,” I heard her croke and the dog yap. I got her over my shoulder only to have her let out a heart stopping scream.

  Shit.

  “I’m sorry, baby, hold on. I got ya,” I had no time to second guess myself.

  I was praying as I scooped the dog up that we made it out of here in one piece. Now, I had to worry about my actions hurting her more. The roof was caving in before I could get us out the door. There was a sharp pain that ran through me, Kristol let out a pained shriek and the dog yelped. Fucking fantastic. I made it out the door, only to collapse myself. I couldn’t breathe and somewhere in that mess I lost my fucking helmet. I cursed as I saw the others pull up. I covered her body and the dog as another piece of the building collapsed.

  Within seconds there were hands grabbing at me and I was pulled off of her. It took me a few minutes to get my bearings as I was shoved down on the back of the fire truck.

  “You idiot, I told you not to be a fucking hero. Asshole,” Drew mumbled on as he shoved an oxygen mask over my face. I gave him the middle finger and took in a deep breath. I heard Kristol’s dog yelp and I stood up, tossing the mask off as I moved around the truck. My shoulder was on fire but I didn’t care. I had to get to her.

  “Someone get the fucking dog out of the way,” one of the new EMT’s yelled.

 
“Hold up, the dog stays with her,” I coughed out a breath and cursed myself for not grabbing the full mask before I went into that station. “He’s her emotional support dog. He’s in training.” Yeah, I was winging it, but I knew what he did for her. I didn’t give two fucks what they thought.

  “Jackson Landry, get your ass back over here,” I again ignored my brother as I jogged to the ambulance and lifted Thor up into my arms. I hissed in pain and took a deep breath as I swayed slightly. “Man, you’re hurt,” I heard the concern in Drew’s voice.

  “I’m going with her. I’ll get checked out after she does,” I said climbing up into the back of the ambulance. Thankfully Lufkin was only eighteen minutes away, ten or so the way these fellas drove. I held Thor, looking him over, wincing as he whined.

  “I‘m sorry buddy, we’ll get you all patched up too. I promise,” I said soothing him and myself. It was a small cut, he’d be okay, it was Kristol I was worried about.

  “Holy shit, she’s been stabbed… and I don’t think that’s all,” the EMT beside me was saying. I finally got a look at her and shook my head.

  “What? It was a fucking fire,” I snapped.

  “Look, ass, I can see. She has a laceration in her thigh,” she said picking up a mic.

  She made a call into the hospital to advise them of her injuries. The knife wound was one thing, but the possible sexual assault sent my heart into overdrive. My anger spiked and I swear I was ready to hulk out and kill whoever fucking touched her. She was so small, frail even, as I looked down at her. I took her hand as I held Thor who was whining even though he was curled into me.

  “Hold on, Kris. You’re gonna be okay, you hear me. You are going to be fucking fine. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Girlfriend?” the woman working on an IV asked and I nodded.

  “Something like that,” even if she didn’t know it. I wasn’t letting her out of my sight. Fuck the rules, fuck the doctors. Fuck it all, I was not letting her out of my sight for one goddamn minute. What in the blue hell had happened from the time I left her until the fire? I leaned over slightly as I ran my thumb along her knuckles.