All the Lies We Tell
Page 19
Niko didn’t say anything. He hadn’t used Allie’s name . . . had he? Ilya held up the charger again and turned off the lamp.
“Have fun fixing our mother’s messes,” Ilya said.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
It wasn’t what Alicia had expected. She hadn’t really known what to expect, actually, but a room in the hotel on the far edge of town that catered to business travelers had not been on her list. It was good, though, she thought as she dropped her purse on the sofa. More than good. It was perfect.
“We don’t have to worry,” Nikolai said. “Not about your nosy neighbor or Galina or anyone else seeing us. Just you and me and this big old bed.”
She’d noticed that as soon as she’d come into the room, no doubt about it. But now she feigned innocence. “That one? There? That one?”
She’d been with guys who didn’t get her sense of humor, but even though she and Nikolai had surely had their share of conflicts over the years, there was never any question that he totally understood her jokes.
“Oh, yeah. That one.” He tipped his chin toward it. “You know. If you wanted to try it out.”
She burst into laughter, covering her face with her hand before peeking through her fingers at him. “So . . . are we really going to do this?”
“God, I hope so.” He moved to take her in his arms. “I really, really hope so.”
She should’ve felt more shy. Nervous? Guilt should certainly have poked its greasy head in there somewhere, too.
He didn’t kiss her, not at first. Instead, Nikolai stroked a hand over her hair. It was a familiar gesture, one he’d done many times, but even so, Alicia shivered at the touch and turned her face so she could touch her lips against his palm. They stayed that way for a moment, in silence. When he drew her closer so her cheek pressed to his chest, she closed her eyes and breathed him in as the beating of their hearts aligned.
“It’s always a little awkward,” Nikolai said after a minute. “The first time.”
Alicia laughed softly and pulled away to tip her face to his. “It’s not the first time.”
He stroked his thumb along her lower lip, urging her to open for him. He kissed her. Hot and wet, a slanting pressure on her mouth that echoed an electric thrill through every part of her. His hands moved down her body to slide beneath her ass, lifting her so that she let out a startled yelp, muffled inside his mouth. They both laughed, and Nikolai walked them back toward the bed, where they fell in a tangle of arms and legs and open, kissing mouths.
She moved, or he rolled, but somehow Alicia ended up on top of him. Straddling, she pressed her knees to his hips and pushed his shirt up, revealing the taut strip of belly and curly dark hair leading from his belly button into the waistband of his jeans. She bent her head to nuzzle him there, and Nikolai arched at the pressure of her lips on his skin. She pressed her teeth there for a few seconds, grinning at the sound of his gasp.
She looked up at him through the fall of her hair. “You like it when I bite.”
“Girl . . .” Nikolai breathed out with a small groan. “Yeah. I like it when you bite.”
She crawled up his body to settle herself against his crotch. She’d dressed carefully for tonight. Soft leggings, and a sheer tunic top over a clingy tank. No bra. Silky thong panties. Everything soft and flowing and easy to get off. Now she tugged the tunic over her head and let it fall in a flutter of fabric off the side of the bed. Sitting up straight, she took Nikolai’s hands and slid them up her body to cup her breasts.
He thumbed her nipples, teasing them into tight points. “This body. Mmm, mmmm, mmm.”
“I like it when you touch me.” She rocked against him, loving the pressure of his hardening cock on her. She tugged the neckline of the tank down, exposing more cleavage but not yet exposing her nipples.
Nikolai dragged his fingertips over the new expanse of flesh. Then over her nipples again, first one, then the other, tweaking each gently so it was her turn to gasp. His gaze burned into her as he licked his lips.
She wanted his mouth on her. All over her. Alicia leaned forward. When he buried his face against her flesh, she shook. Eyes closed, mouth open. Hair hanging all over the both of them. She gripped the headboard with one hand and used the other to cup his chin, urging him to feast on her.
Nikolai tugged her shirt down farther, at last, yes, freeing her to his hungry mouth. Wet heat skidded over her skin. His lips closed on one of the sensitive peaks he’d already teased with his fingertips. His hands cupped her, keeping her close.
She muttered something incoherent and ground herself against him. Nikolai released her nipple to flick it with his tongue. She wanted to move, she wanted to kiss his mouth, she wanted to pull off his clothes and get him naked, but right in that moment, all she could do was give up to the serious waves of desire coursing through her from the expert efforts of Nikolai’s lips and tongue . . . and teeth . . .
“Ah!” She yelped, sitting up straight and covering herself with her hands. “No, no . . .”
He laughed, rolling them both so he was on top of her. “No? You don’t like it when I bite, huh?”
It hadn’t hurt, of course. Just surprised her. She pulled her knees up to grip his hips as he kissed her.
“I guess not,” she said into his mouth, and sucked his tongue before letting him pull away.
Nikolai braced himself on his arms to look down at her. “So much to learn about you, Ms. Harrison.”
“You know a lot about me already.” She slipped her hands beneath the bottom of his T-shirt again, warming her chilly skin against his heat and laughing at the way he hissed in a breath.
“You have cold hands—I know that,” he agreed, and shifted to cover her with his weight so she didn’t have room to get her hands on him again. “But there’s a lot I don’t know.”
“Hmm, oh, yeah? Like what?” With someone else she would’ve pushed him off her, feeling trapped or squished, but Nikolai’s body fit hers with perfect precision. And that was with their clothes on, she thought with another thrill of sensation rolling through her. What was it going to be like when they were both naked?
“Oh, for example . . . do you like this?” He traced his lips along her jawline, making her shiver.
“Yes.”
She felt his grin pressed against her. He tugged her earlobe with his teeth. “This?”
“That’s good, too,” Alicia said. “But I think you need to move a little lower.”
He laughed, and she loved that he did. For sure, there’d been lots of times over the years when Nikolai Stern had not laughed with her. To have this now, here, was more surprising to her than wanting to get naked.
“Ah. Gotcha. Here?” He nibbled lightly at her throat, and when she sighed and shifted beneath him, he chuckled again. He feathered kisses over the slopes of her breasts. “Here.”
She let her fingers wind in the thickness of the hair at the nape of his neck. “Oh, definitely there, yes, but . . .”
“Lower?” His tongue swirled over her nipples, one at a time.
She sighed out a slow, aching breath. “Yes.”
He shifted her to pull off the tank top, then knelt to pull his shirt over his head, using that sexy over-the-shoulder grab that always looked so casual but had to be deliberate by the knowing grin he gave her. Oh, yeah, she thought. Nikolai knew exactly what he was doing. And she was totally going to keep letting him, at least for as much time as they had.
He popped his button and nudged the zipper down, but only a notch or so before bending back to press a line of kisses over the curve of her ribs. The hollow dip of her belly over her navel. He mouthed a hip, then looked up at her.
“Lower?”
Alicia smiled and, by way of an answer, let her fingers rest on the top of his head. No more laughter now. Nikolai’s gaze went dark and liquid. Consuming her. He dipped his fingertips below the elastic waistband of her leggings to ease them over her hip, revealing more and more of her. Making her naked for him.
She had never been the first one to jump off the rope swing, she reminded herself. She’d always had to push past the fear to leap. But that had been a long time ago, before Jennilynn died and everything changed. Alicia wasn’t that girl anymore.
Now she pushed her leggings over her hips and thighs, giving Nikolai the room to pull them off, leaving her wearing only the wispy silk panties that left nothing to the imagination. She touched herself, a small circling motion, then tapped. Once. Twice.
“Lower,” Alicia said.
“You’re killing me, girl,” Nikolai told her as he moved between her legs. He closed his eyes. His mouth hovered over her panties, which were so thin they did nothing to keep the heat of his breath from washing over her. “You. Like. This?”
He molded his mouth to her over the silk, sucking gently. She arched. The pressure was amazing—delirious, but teasing. She waited, holding her breath as Nikolai nuzzled the insides of her thighs.
When finally he pulled the fabric aside to kiss her nakedness, she tried to take another breath and found at first she could not. All she could do was sip—gasping—at the air as he slid his hands beneath her ass to lift her to his stroking tongue.
“So . . . good,” she managed to say, though she couldn’t be sure the words weren’t garbled.
Nikolai gave her another lick. “You taste amazing.”
Giddy, she tipped her hips to offer him more of her, and he took it. Tender, teasing strokes with the flat of his tongue alternated with tight circles. He had her hovering on the edge so fast, so easily, all she could do was let the waves of pleasure sweep her away.
“That’s it,” Nikolai said against her. “Yeah, come on.”
She wasn’t about to deny herself this ecstasy nor him the joy of giving it to her. Her climax rocked her, and she shook with it. With the last gasp she was able to take, she cried out his name.
In the silence that followed, Alicia thought she should say something else. Make a joke, maybe. Lighten the mood. She couldn’t quite rouse herself to the effort, though. Not with the aftershocks of her orgasm still rippling through her.
She opened her eyes after a bit to find Nikolai lying on his side next to her. Just looking. He smiled when she looked back.
“I think I figured out at least one thing you like,” he said.
She gave a contented sigh. “Mmmm. There are plenty more.”
“Damn,” he said and cupped his hand between her legs. “I guess I’d better keep going, huh?”
She sat up. “This is fun. Not as much fun as if you were naked, too, but it’s fun.”
“Hold on.” Nikolai hopped off the bed and stripped out of his jeans but left his briefs on. “How’s this?”
“You’re not naked.” Alicia drew her knees to her chest to eye him as he crawled onto the bed to kiss her. He pulled away at the last second, then moved in again, then away once more, before she grabbed his shoulders and held him from moving. “You’re a tease.”
“I thought maybe you’d like being teased.”
She shook her head. “No biting. No teasing.”
“Noted.” He kissed her harder this time.
“I brought condoms,” she said in a low voice, after a minute or so.
Nikolai didn’t pull away. “Me, too.”
“I want you,” Alicia breathed against his mouth. “Inside me.”
“Yes to that. Feels like I’ve been waiting forever for it.” He looked into her eyes, mouth solemn. “Are you sure you want this?”
A glib answer was rising to her lips, but his expression stopped it before she could say it. She kissed him, instead. They pressed their foreheads together, quiet.
“I don’t believe in regrets, that’s all. I don’t want this to be something we wish we hadn’t done,” Nikolai said.
She tucked herself against him so they could both lean back against the headboard. “Did you ever? Regret anything about us?”
“Yes.”
It wasn’t the answer she wanted, especially not right now. A hundred responses flashed through her mind, but she stifled them all. She kissed the corner of his mouth, instead, then got up from the bed and went to her bag. She pulled out the box of condoms and shook one free.
“Be naked for me,” Alicia said, and in that moment she couldn’t be sure if she meant merely for him to take off the rest of his clothes or something deeper.
Nikolai, in response, shucked off his briefs and tossed them to the side. She let her gaze drop to take all of him in. It was the first time she’d seen him entirely naked in the light, and she didn’t want to miss an inch.
Neither of them said a word as she sheathed him, though Nikolai did let out a lingering, raspy sigh. Alicia let her nails scratch up his thighs and over his belly, watching with fascination the play of emotions across his face. Heat blazed in his eyes before he closed them to writhe and arch under her as she increased the pressure of her nails against his tender skin. She left some marks behind.
If he was going to regret this, she wanted to give him plenty to be sorry for.
She soothed the crescents left by her nails with several swipes of her tongue and, urged on by Nikolai’s soft moans, let her hair trail over his body. She moved over him, a hand between them to guide him inside her. She paused with him at her entrance.
“Open your eyes, Nikolai.”
He did, and she kept his gaze locked with hers as she eased him into her heat until he was seated so deep she winced at the delicious pleasure-pain. It was her turn to gasp and arch as he filled her. Again, her nails scratched lightly down his belly and over his thighs as she began to move. She tested him again with another, deeper, gouge that became a pinch on the taut flesh above each of his hips.
With a grunt, Nikolai thrust upward, hard. He grabbed her hips as they moved together. She pinched harder, twisting, until he cried out with what might’ve sounded like a protest except for the throbbing of his cock in response. He moved a hand between them so that his knuckles hit her exactly where she needed the pressure every time they moved.
“Perfect.” Alicia gave up trying to speak in any way but without words.
She hadn’t thought she could come again, but her desire, coiled tight, low in her belly, grew as easily and quickly by the way he touched her as by the way he reacted when she touched him. She’d always been turned on by bringing her partner pleasure, but with Nikolai everything seemed exaggerated. Enhanced. She touched him; he reacted, and it was enough to send her tipping over the edge of desire’s cliff, falling toward the jagged rocks below.
He finished seconds after she did, so close behind her it was nearly the same time. They moved in sync for a few more thrusts, until she let herself fall forward to kiss his mouth before rolling off to sprawl at his side. Nikolai got up and went to the bathroom, but he was back in moments. He slipped into bed beside her and pulled up the sheet to their hips.
There’d been no guilt or anxiety when she got to the hotel, but some combination of unease was rising within her now. Nikolai was far from a stranger to her. They’d known each other for nearly their entire lives. Yet now in the aftermath of that fantastic sex, all she could think about was how little she knew him.
“I should go,” she said.
Nikolai rolled to put a hand on her hip, keeping her in place. “Why? I have the room until the morning. We can watch a movie. Order takeout. You don’t have anyone waiting for you at home that you have to answer to.”
“You might,” she said.
“Nobody I have to answer to.” He took her hand and ran it along the path her fingertips had earlier traced over his body. “Alicia. You don’t have to go.”
She shifted to trace the small wounds she’d left behind. She didn’t want
to cut him any deeper than this. She didn’t want to get cut.
“This isn’t what this is supposed to be,” she told him. “Remember? It’s just this thing between us until you head out again. When is that going to be, by the way?”
He shifted onto his back, putting an inch or so of distance between them. “I had eight weeks of grievance leave and sabbatical time. So . . . not for another few weeks.”
“But you are going.” She kept herself from touching him again for the simple reason that she wanted to. “I mean, you will be.”
“Sure,” he said after a second or two of silence. “Yeah.”
Some time had passed, and she thought he might’ve fallen asleep, but when she looked at him, Nikolai was staring at the ceiling. He’d placed his hands on his chest, one over the other. Like a mummy. It was how he’d always slept, she remembered from the long-ago sleepovers.
“You asked me what I regretted,” Nikolai replied without looking at her.
“I asked you if. Not what.”
He closed his eyes for a second, then opened them to stare again upward. “Well, I did, and you should know what it was.”
“I don’t need to.” She moved to get off the bed, but his hand whipped out and snagged her wrist, stopping her. “Nikolai, I don’t want to.”
He looked at her and pushed up on his elbow. “I regretted hurting you.”
Alicia drew a breath. Then another. She wanted to look away from him, but did not.
“Which time?” she asked, an edge in her voice she wished she’d been able to control, if only so he wouldn’t have the satisfaction of hearing it.
Nikolai frowned. “Every time. Every damned time.”
She hadn’t known it was exactly what she needed him to say until he’d said it. Before she could answer him, he pulled her close to kiss her again. It didn’t linger, but it was sweeter for the brevity.
“Stay,” Nikolai said.
She did.
CHAPTER THIRTY
The phone had rung so many times Theresa was sure he wasn’t going to answer it. She wasn’t going to leave another voicemail. Not after the four or five she’d already left.