Our Darkest Scar

by Sarah Bailey

  “Well, I better obey or no doubt you’ll find a way to punish me.”

  I heard his laughter as I turned and quick-walked out of the kitchen towards the stairs. The faster I got up to his room, the faster he’d be on me and I’d be experiencing the exquisite pleasure he’d reminded me of the last time I was here at his place.

  Chapter Fifty One

  I listened to Jonah’s footsteps as he climbed the stairs and was pretty sure he was taking them two by two. It didn’t surprise me he was eager. I’d waited weeks for this moment and I was going to take my time with him. Show him why we belonged together.

  I made my way upstairs slowly, my thoughts running rampant with what I wanted to do. The first and most important thing was I wanted to see his face. I needed his expressions and to watch those beautiful sounds he made fall out of his mouth. The image of it in my mind made me smile wide. The fact we’d agreed to be together again made my heart fucking swell. I could touch him, taste him, feel him and love him without needing to restrain myself. I’d offered Jonah all of me and that’s what he was going to get.

  When I reached my bedroom, Jonah was sat on the edge of my bed, his hands resting on the covers next to him. His blonde hair was a little messy and his green eyes were dark with need. My eyes roamed over him as I walked into the room with measured steps.

  “I see I won’t have to punish you.”

  “I want to be good for you, Raphi.”

  Why did he have to say stuff like that? He knew what he was doing to me. The man knew how to push my buttons. And I loved it.

  “You do, huh? Maybe I should reward you.”

  He bit his lip, opening his legs and I came to rest between them. I tucked my finger under his chin and forced his head up so he’d meet my eyes.

  “Do you want a reward, cuore mio?”

  “Yes… please.”

  I leant down towards him, my fingers dancing down his throat before sliding underneath his suit jacket. I pushed it off his shoulders, leaving it pooled at his wrists.

  “Fuck. Just look at you,” I murmured. “The star of all my dirty fantasies.”

  His lips parted but no sound came out. I wanted him to know exactly how much I desired him. Tell him how he made me feel. Jonah was it for me. I think he’d been it for me since I’d been a teenager.

  I slid his waistcoat down his arms next. Then I took his tie between my fingers and loosened it. His eyes were on what I was doing as if he didn’t want to miss a single thing.

  “I love you, J. Every part of you. When you’re around me, all I can see is you. You take up all the space in my vision and nothing else matters but you.”

  I tugged his tie off and threw it away, not caring where it landed. I carefully extracted his wrists from his suit jacket and waistcoat but didn’t throw those. No, I took them and hung them up behind my door on some hooks I had there. The only other thing hanging up was my dressing gown.

  “Raphi…”

  I turned and met his eyes. He reached out a hand to me and I went to him, taking it. He brought it up to his face and kissed my palm.

  “I forgive you.”

  I swallowed hard at his words. They made my heart squeeze tightly in my chest.

  “I know you’ve not asked me for it, but I do. There’s no blame here between us. I want to let go of the past. You know me, I don’t hold grudges or hate in my heart. The only thing I want in there is love. Your love and mine. I love you. I never stopped. I held out hope that one day you’d find your way back to me when you were whole again and here you are. Here we are. It’s all that matters.”

  I leant down until we were eye-level and cupped his face.

  “Thank you for forgiving me. Thank you for loving me even after everything we’ve been through. I appreciate you more than words can say and I will show you every day for the rest of our lives because, J, that’s what I want. You and me… forever.”

  I pressed a kiss to the side of his mouth.

  “I want that too,” he whispered.

  I let go of him and unbuttoned his shirt. He raised his hands, allowing me to undo the little buttons at his wrists and tug it off him. For a second I just looked at him bare-chested. All I could think about was how lucky I was. How I owed so much to Jonah.

  He reached out and tucked his fingers under my t-shirt, brushing them along the waistband of my jogging bottoms. I didn’t stop him from exploring. His touch electrified me.

  “Did you want something?”

  He nodded, staring up at me with a little twinkle in his green eyes.

  “You… without anything on.”

  “Is that because you like looking at me?”

  “More than anything.”

  I grabbed the bottom of my t-shirt and tugged it off, dropping it on the floor. His hands splayed out over my stomach, making me suck in a breath.

  “You are perfect.”

  I didn’t dispute his words since they made me feel good. Jonah looked at me with no small amount of admiration and desire. I couldn’t help but want to hear all his inner thoughts about how he saw me.

  “You want more, J?”

  He nodded, his fingers still exploring the groves of my abs.

  “You can have everything if you want it.”

  The smile spreading across his face had me trying to stifle mine.

  “I want it.”

  I placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back on the bed, crawling over his body. He stared up at me as I unbuckled his belt. I took my time unzipping his trousers, wanting to prolong the anticipation he was surely feeling. Jonah’s breathing became heavier as his hands curled around my thighs. Thankfully he’d kicked off his shoes before coming upstairs, meaning I could easily tug the rest of his clothes off his body.

  I stared down at my beautiful man waiting for my next move. I leant down and kissed his chest before trailing my tongue lower. His breathing hitched and a moan left his lips. I watched him as I dropped off the end of the bed and kissed his stomach, my fingers trailing along his hips. His eyes were intent on me and what I was doing to him.

  “You ready for your reward?”

  He nodded, biting down on his bottom lip.

  I circled the crown of his cock with my tongue, making him buck and let out a harsh pant. His fingers fisted in the covers when I licked down his shaft. Fuck, he was stunning like this. His chest rising and falling rapidly as he fought not to lose control. Those green eyes unfocused.

  “Ah, fuck, Raphi,” he cried when I took his cock in my mouth, my fingers fisting around the bottom and giving him a languid stroke.

  I wouldn’t let him come yet, but he deserved his pleasure. He deserved everything I was going to give him. I sucked him deeper, revelling in the way he felt and tasted on my tongue. He released the covers and dragged a hand up his face. His fingers twisted in his hair as I continued to work his cock in my mouth. The little noises of ecstasy erupting from his mouth spurred me on. They always had. His pants and moans were toxins to me. Infecting my blood and making me crazy for him.

  And the whine he made when I pulled away, made me smile.

  “Don’t worry, cuore mio, I intend to care of you. We’re only just getting started.”

  I grabbed his calf and shoved his leg up on the bed. He obliged me by lifting the other. Rising to my feet, I walked over to the bedside table and pulled out the necessary supplies. His eyes followed me as I made my way to the end of the bed again. This time when I dropped to my knees and took his cock in my mouth, I had my fingers lubed up and stroked them across his tight little hole. His gasp when I slid one inside him only had me eager to open him up to me.

  “Raphi,” he groaned whilst I worked him with my mouth and my fingers. “Fuck, don’t stop.”

  It didn’t take long before he was begging and all but demanding I give him my cock. I was rock hard and throbbing at the thought of being in him.

  “You are always so impatient, J,” I told him as I tug
ged off my jogging bottoms and boxers.

  I knelt on the bed, encouraging him to move up it.

  “I can’t help it. You feel so good inside me.”

  “You’re lucky I adore the way you’re needy for me, and I’m just as desperate to be in you.”

  He smiled wide. My hand landed on his thigh, pushing his leg up higher to give me a better angle. After rolling on a condom and liberally applying lube, I shifted closer, pressing my cock to him. He let out a groan when it slid up inside him. I bit back my own need to moan. A few shallow thrusts had him opening up more. This wasn’t going to be a fast, hard fuck like we sometimes had in the past. I wanted slow and sensual. I wanted him to feel every inch of me as I thrust inside him.

  When I was fully seated in his heat, I leant forward, forcing his legs higher and kissed him. I buried my fist in his hair as I devoured his mouth, giving him slow rolls of my hips at just the right angle. He moaned in my mouth as his hands curled around my back, holding me to him.

  “You feel so good,” I told him when I shifted back slightly. “I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you so much.”

  He brought his hand around from my back to cup my face, dragging his thumb across my bottom lip.

  “I’ve missed you too.” Then he smiled. “Is this you making love to me then?”

  I nuzzled my nose against his.

  “Mmm, why? Is it not rough enough for you?”

  I thrust harder to prove a point. He whimpered in response.

  “I think you want it harder. You don’t like me holding back.”

  His hand left my face, curling around my shoulder. I kept my rhythm slow but drove into him with more force. I could tell it pleased him by the flush of his cheeks and the way he let out a series of short, harsh pants.

  Leaning down, I brushed my mouth along his earlobe, “I love you, J. And I love how much you want me. How much you need this. You’re intoxicating, you know that? You’re like my own personal drug… or should I say medicine since you saved me even when you weren’t here.”

  His fingers on my shoulder tightened.

  “You saved me too,” he whispered. “You’ve reminded me of how precious love is and how I should fight for it. No matter what happens in the future, I’ll keep fighting for us because I love you.”

  I kissed his ear and along his jaw.

  “I’ll protect you and keep you safe.”

  I captured his mouth and the two of us drowned in our kiss whilst I continued to make love to him. To show him with my body how much I needed him. He was my medicine. My happiness. My home.

  I reached between us, wrapping my hand around his cock and stroking it. Jonah moaned in my mouth. I was getting close and I wanted to bring him off too. Being with him like this had me almost at the brink. This closeness and connection I felt. The intimacy between us. It was unlike anything else I’d ever experienced. I never wanted to be without this man again.

  I adjusted the angle of my thrusts. Jonah turned his face from mine and whimpered. I was hitting right where I wanted. I knew exactly what he needed.

  “Raphi!”

  His cock pulsed in my hand, hot, sticky streams coating it and our stomachs. I could only smile and grunt as I followed him over the edge, letting go of everything in those few moments where my body trembled and my cock spurted inside him over and over.

  I buried my face in his neck to catch my breath. Jonah held me and kissed my hair. Contentment washed over me. I had my man back and nothing in this world felt better. This time I’d keep him by my side.

  I rolled off him a moment later and stared up at the ceiling. Jonah propped himself up on his elbow and stroked a hand down my chest.

  “We made a mess.”

  I looked down at what was talking about.

  “Just a little.”

  He kissed my cheek and grabbed the tissues off the bed whilst I disposed of the condom. We cleaned each other up and got under the covers together. Jonah curled up against my chest, running his fingers down my side.

  “You staying the night?” I asked, hoping he would say yes.

  “If that’s okay. I don’t want to leave you.”

  I kissed his forehead.

  “I don’t want you to go.”

  He snuggled closer to me. We lay in silence for a long time, happy to be together again.

  “I’m going to dinner at my parents on Wednesday night.”

  Jonah turned his head and looked up at me.

  “Okay.”

  “If you’re not busy, I’d like you to come with me.”

  He blinked. I’d already told Jonah my parents would love to see him again, but I hadn’t yet said they were aware of my intention to get him back.

  “I’m not busy. I’d love to go.”

  “Then I’ll let them know.”

  He smiled at me.

  “Your siblings going to be there?”

  “No, it’ll just be the parents and us, so you won’t see them until Rora’s wedding.”

  “I like your siblings.”

  “What? Even Duke?”

  Jonah dug his fingers into my side.

  “Duke’s your favourite brother.”

  “He’s also a pain in the butt who is way too much like Xav for his own good.”

  “I bet all of you are like your respective fathers.”

  I grinned.

  “Yeah, you’re totally right, we are. Though Cole is way more like Mum than he is Rory. But enough about my family. You need to tell me all about Rhys’ wedding since I didn’t get to go.”

  Jonah reached up and stroked my face.

  “Well okay… if you insist.”

  And the two of us spent the rest of the night trading stories. He told me about Rhys’ wedding and I discussed Aurora’s upcoming one. It struck me how normal this felt to be with him like this. How right we were together. Jonah and I weren’t just lovers, we were friends and companions. He got me and I got him. That’s why our bond ran so deep. We were it for each other.

  I couldn’t wait to properly introduce him to my family as my boyfriend. When he was ready, I would make sure Jonah and I were tied together forever because I loved this man more than life itself. And I would never let him go again.

  Chapter Fifty Two

  Raphi unlocked the door to his parents’ house and stepped in, leaving me to trail in behind him. My palms had got all sweaty with nerves. This whole officially meeting the parents of my boyfriend thing had me feeling all kinds of crazy. Stupid really since I’d already met his parents years ago. This was different. We were openly together this time. And we’d only just re-established our relationship.

  Raphi took my coat after sliding out of his and hung them both up. He linked his fingers with mine and pulled me towards the living room, a smile lighting up his face. I kept my expression neutral so as not to show how scared I was.

  “Hello everyone,” Raphi said as he walked into the room, pulling me along behind him.

  All five of Raphi’s parents were sat down on the sofas and armchairs in the room. His mother, Ash, jumped up immediately when she spied us. She came around and enveloped her son in a hug.

  “My cheeky monkey.”

  “Hi, Mum.”

  When she pulled back, she smiled and turned to me. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t to have his mother embrace me.

  “Hello, Jonah, it’s so nice to see you.”

  “Hi, um, it’s nice to see you too, Ash,” I replied, trying not to allow my voice to get all high pitched.

  “I hope you don’t mind me saying I’m overjoyed you and Raphi are together. You make my son come alive when he talks about you. I’ve never seen him this happy. He’s smiling all the time because of you.”

  Raphi must have heard her as he squeezed my fingers. Ash drew away and patted my arm.

  “I do hope he does the same for you.”

  I had no idea how to respond to any of what she’d said
. Raphi hadn’t told me he’d informed his parents of our relationship yet.

  “Mum, you’re embarrassing him,” Raphi murmured.

  “Oh, shush you, I’m just welcoming your boyfriend into our family.”

  She gave me another smile.

  “I… um… yes, your son makes me very happy,” I managed to say.

  I could feel my cheeks burning. Why didn’t he tell me? I had prepared myself for the whole ‘this is my boyfriend’ talk. I looked over at him, finding a twinkle in his green eyes.

  “I told you I’d accepted myself, J. I’m not hiding who you are to me.”

  “I can see that,” I all but hissed back.

  This had caught me off guard. I wasn’t annoyed by any means. Merely shocked.

  Raphi searched my face for a long moment as Ash stepped away, clearly noticing the tension between us. Then my boyfriend tugged me from the room with a tight smile and a nod to his mother. We ended up in the dining room and he closed the door behind us.

  “Are you okay?”

  I looked down at the floor.

  “Yes… no… I don’t know.”

  I felt fingers under my chin.

  “Hey, J, look at me.”

  I raised my eyes and took in the concern on his face. Fuck, I loved his face. I loved everything about him and here I was being stupid.

  “Are you upset I already told them about us?”

  “No, of course not. I’m happy… you just didn’t tell me and I wasn’t expecting… Raphi, I’ve never met anyone’s parents before as a boyfriend. I know I’ve already met them but this is different. I… I’ve been nervous and your mum is so nice and caring, your whole family is. I just don’t know how to react to it. I’m not used to it.”

  He framed my face with both his hands. I sucked in a breath. His touch soothed me. What was it about him which kept me grounded? Honestly, I didn’t care. Raphi liked taking care of me. It made him happy and I couldn’t deny I needed him to.

  “It’s okay. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. You seemed to be fine with seeing them tonight so I didn’t think.”

  “It’s not your fault—”

  “No, don’t do that. I should know better. You don’t have this in your life and my family can be intense, which I’m sure Meredith has told you. But you don’t need to be scared. I’m right here and they’re happy for us. Hell, even Quinn said he approves of you and we both know he doesn’t entirely approve of Logan so that’s saying something.”