Alawahea

by Sara L Daigle

  “That mood have anything to do with the blue in your aura?”

  Merran did not answer, continuing to whistle.

  “You’re not fooling any of us, you realize. It will take quite a bit more discretion on your part to fool any of your staff too.”

  Merran continued to sweep the cups and plates into the bag, using his hand this time and still not answering.

  “I’m just saying. You going to be her partner?” Alarin went on.

  “I’m not going to channel her at all, Alarin.”

  Alarin raised his eyebrow. “Why not? You’d have the most chance at making it successful. As I presume the interest is returned.”

  “But there’s absolutely no way I could avoid having sex with her,” Merran replied, dropping the garbage bag and turning one of the tables on its side. He folded a leg in. Alarin stepped over to do the same on the other side.

  “Why would you want to avoid it? She’s pretty, she’s smart, she’s very likely psi.”

  “She’s five years younger than I am, by human standards, she’s a college student, and she works for me. All very good reasons to leave her alone.”

  “Oh please. You’re not talking about permanently mating her.” Alarin helped flip over another table. “As for her working with you, why does that matter?”

  Merran gave Alarin a look. “And have the Councils of both worlds start screaming about my partiality? I can’t get involved with anyone who is going to participate in the program, Alarin. It would invalidate everything I’m trying to do.”

  Alarin stared at him. “She’s very likely Awakening, Mer. She’s not necessarily even going to remember the whole experience. It’s just once. We’ve all gone through it. As for the humans, they don’t need to know.”

  “But I will. Besides, you know Tamara. Do you think she’s a just once kind of woman?”

  Alarin stared at him. “You are talking about mating her.”

  Merran shook his head. “No, not really. But I am talking about a relationship. I can’t start one with her or I’ll make my whole exchange program a joke, to say nothing about this internship.”

  Alarin sighed, sobering. “To say nothing about your family. Maybe you’re right. But you’ve already opened the doors to something, Mer. You don’t have a hazel aura because you restrained yourself. And you disappeared with her for a good five minutes tonight. You think we didn’t notice that?”

  Merran swore. “I’m not having a very easy time of staying away from her.” He raked a hand through his hair. “As for disappearing with her, she was rescuing me from that aarya-kal. Kellie, I think her name was. It was technically to discuss her internship.”

  “And how much talking did you actually do?”

  “Not a whole lot.” He raked a hand through his hair again. “See why I can’t channel her? I’d have sex with her. After that, I know I’d do it again. And probably again and again. You’re going to have to channel her.”

  “Me? She doesn’t trust me the way she does you, Mer. And if I tried, you do realize I might not be able to avoid using sex as an outlet either? If I have to defuse the energies immediately, I may need that particular outlet. I may not be able to avoid it. Are you going to deal with that?”

  Merran shrugged, carefully casual. “It’s better than the alternative.”

  “Oh really? You’re telling me with words that you have to stay away from her, but you’re not doing that. You don’t have a hazel aura because you stayed away from her. You didn’t drag her off tonight because you were staying away from her. You didn’t show her aura sparking and play with her aura all night long because you’re staying away from her. You know as well as I do that sex is an external expression of other things. And you are already emotionally involved with her.”

  “But the external expression is what the Councils might discover. I know I can’t hide forever, but maybe if I can manage to wait a few months it won’t look like I chose her because she’s my lover.” Merran tugged at the hair on his forehead.

  “All right, all right. Do me a favor though?”

  Merran raised an eyebrow.

  “Keep getting her used to the idea of psi. The more she’s comfortable with it, the easier it will be, no matter who channels her.” He looked around the room. “Is it clear enough in here?”

  Merran nodded. “I think so. Alarin … thanks.”

  Alarin bowed. Merran watched him go, praying briefly as Alarin left that he could maintain his life with some simplicity rather than the complications that threatened to overwhelm him. And that Tamara would not prove to be something far more than any of them expected.

  Chapter Seven

  HER FIRST DAY OF WORK at the embassy several days later knitted Tamara’s emotions into knots. The guard at the gates let her in with only one instruction. “Ms. Carrington. Please use this path and enter the door on your left. It will take you to Ambassador Corina’s office. They are expecting you.”

  Tamara obeyed. The path wound around and led her to one of the side doors to the left of the front doors. As usually happened with the front doors, the side door popped open at her approach. The effect never ceased to freak her out; it felt like ghosts were opening the door for her. She looked back to see the door close itself as silently as it had opened. She walked up the metal stairs to the door at the top. This one opened for her too. She stepped through and found herself to the left of a large desk.

  “Come in.” Janille, the older woman sitting at the desk, whom Tamara had met once only briefly, looked up and motioned to Tamara. “Please, have a seat and I’ll be with you in a moment.” She turned back to the phone. “No, sir. I’m sorry. The ambassador is in a very important meeting and cannot be disturbed. Yes, I can give him a message. I assure you, sir, he will call as soon as he gets out of his meeting. All right. Have a nice day.”

  She tapped a button on the phone and looked up at Tamara. “I’m Janille, as you probably remember from your tour.”

  Tamara nodded, more nervous than she expected to be. “I think I’ve spoken to you on the phone too.”

  “I believe we have.” Janille pushed her chair back. “I do have quite a bit of scanning and filing for you to start on. It’s a place to start and it will give you a good idea of what embassy work really is. The files are back here.” She stepped into a room set off from the office. “This is the incoming box. Incoming mail comes in here and needs to be scanned and filed. Each file, once it is complete, is tagged in the computer and given to the ambassador or one of the liaison officers for review. An appointment is set up once the requisite paperwork is reviewed and the request is considered.”

  Tamara blinked. The pile of mail towered almost to head height. “Is this what you do?”

  The faintest smile tugged at Janille’s lips. “Much of it. My job is perhaps one of the most important, although one of the least glamorous.” She pulled out one of the papers. “Step one. Every piece of mail has a name on it somewhere, usually at the top. Mail that is not identified is thrown away.” She showed Tamara where the individual had entered their name. “Step two. You do a name search on the computer and pull up the citizen’s record.” She spoke in the name from the top of the sheet of paper, which was a request for a visa to go to Azelle. “Each request has a particular form number here in the corner, or it is correspondence.” She typed in the number and the computer popped up the appropriate form. “The rest of this form is for the ambassador to complete, so we don’t need to do anything with the form but scan it into the computer and put in the file. Step three. Scan the mail into the computer. The scanner is here.” She motioned toward a flat computer screen. Placing the form face down on a pad next to the screen, she tapped a button at the bottom of it. The computer hummed, then flashed at her, and a picture of the scanned form appeared on the screen. “I take care of sorting the computer files into the appropriate places for the ambassador or one of the liaison officers. Step four. File the paperwork. Allen Martin probably has completed several other requests
, as quite a few apply more than once before being accepted to go to Azelle. His file is in here.” She stepped over to the bank of files and pulled one out. “Put the paper away in file order, the most current request on the top. Step five is to see if the file is complete. For visa requests, there are a number of items we require from other government agencies. Until you get familiar with what is necessary for a complete file, I will simply have you bring the file to me and we will process the letter requesting further information. For the last hour of your work time, we will send out requests for more information.”

  “Thank you.” Janille’s brisk, competent attitude put her at ease, although Tamara was a little overwhelmed by the sheer volume. “It’s hard to believe people still fill out paper requests. If you did online only, we’d have a quarter of the work.” She stared down at the mound of paperwork.

  The flicker of a smile on Janille’s face was almost undetectable. “It wouldn’t cut it down by much, as you will see. Most of the requests are submitted online. It’s the backup documentation that is making up most of that pile. The backup requirements for a visa to go to Azelle are pretty complex. But they are just as important as the requests themselves. It’s how the ambassador and liaison officers make their choices.”

  “Oh,” Tamara flushed. “I’ll stop asking questions and get to work now.”

  “Not at all.” This time, Janille’s smile made a real appearance. It also made her look much less forbidding. “If you don’t ask questions, you won’t learn. I’ll be outside should you have any more.” Janille turned on her heel and marched back to the outer office.

  Tamara made herself comfortable and jumped into the pile of paperwork.

  The work was not hard, and she had to keep herself from reading the requests and taking too much time to do them. Time flew as she figured out where everything went, scanned, pulled files, filed, then put the files away. After three hours, she had managed to get through the entire pile. She went out front to tell Janille she had finished.

  Merran’s door was still closed when she went up to Janille’s desk. It remained that way through the last hour when Janille introduced her to the complications and joys of completing other governmental request forms. Each visa required two sponsors, medical and legal records, and a partridge in a pear tree. The requirements were strict and harsh, and Tamara wondered how anyone got to Azelle at all. Janille made no editorial comments about them, however, so she didn’t say anything either.

  Five minutes before she was supposed to leave, Janille bent over one of her drawers and pulled out a form. “You are being paid as per Earth rules, so I need some forms from you before you leave.”

  She handed Tamara a very familiar standard work request form to complete, telling the embassy how much money to withhold from her check.

  Tamara completed the form quickly, but though the completion of her payroll forms took longer than she’d expected, Merran’s door had not opened by the time she left.

  That week and the week following, she saw him only a few times, usually on the run to a meeting or as someone came in for a meeting. Each day as she walked to work she wondered if she would see Merran at all. Most days she didn’t.

  She complained vociferously to Kari, although she limited what she could say. It was better than suffering alone; she had no idea how much Alarin and Greg actually knew.

  “So how’s the boyfriend going?” Kari asked one evening, stopping by to gossip after three weeks of this frustrating strain at work.

  Tamara sprawled on her bed. She snorted. “Not. We see each other during the day, briefly, but nothing has happened. Usually he’s running off somewhere.”

  Kari settled cross-legged at the end of the bed. “What about at night?”

  “Haven’t heard from him. I’ve even tried to call. Nothing.” She didn’t mention that she’d always hung up before leaving a message. He didn’t need her mooning over him.

  “He’s probably cheating on you. It’s a new relationship. How is he so busy he doesn’t have time to see you? No college guy is so busy he doesn’t have time for a new relationship. I don’t care how academically inclined he is!”

  Tamara’s stomach dropped to her toes. She didn’t even want to think about that, although they didn’t really have anything going on to call a relationship. Besides, hadn’t Merran told her he didn’t have a girlfriend, that if anyone qualified, she did? She stared down at her fingers. “I have a confession. He’s not a—uh, college student.” She wanted Kari’s input, but with Kari too unaware of whom Tamara really was—or wasn’t—dating, she couldn’t be of much help.

  Kari stared at her. “What do you mean, not a college student? Where have you met a non-college student?” A thought came to her. “The embassy? My God, you’re dating an Azellian?”

  Tamara thought frantically. “Well, yes, I met someone right before classes started. He wants to keep it quiet. I do, too. My family … well, they wouldn’t be too happy about it.”

  “And that night you were kissed, that night in the hallway, he was there, right?”

  Tamara nodded. Blend truth enough and one has a plausible lie. And she might even be able to share some of her real concerns.

  “There weren’t that many men at the party. Mostly the ambassador, the new exchange students, and a couple of other embassy workers.” Kari frowned, biting her lip. “What does he look like?”

  “Dark hair, dark eyes.” That described about three-quarters of the Azellians at the embassy. Merran’s coloring was not unusual. “Tall, well-built. Gorgeous.”

  Kari uncrossed her legs and hugged her knees to her chest. “I didn’t see anyone there like that. Except the ambassador, of course.”

  Oops. She’d forgotten that detail. “He didn’t really show up at the party for that long. Just long enough to tell me he was there and to lure me outside,” Tamara said hastily and couldn’t repress a smile at the memory. “But since then, it’s been nothing. I see him every day at work, but as I said, it’s like he’s running off somewhere … or I am.”

  “How does he look naked?”

  Used to her friend’s obsessions—Kari had been actively looking for a boyfriend for a year now and spent quite a bit of time vicariously enjoying her other friends’ conquests—Tamara shouldn’t have been irritated by the question, but it set her temper off anyway. “How am I supposed to know? I haven’t gotten the opportunity to find out!”

  Kari held up a hand. “Whoa, girl, calm down. I think you need to get laid.”

  “At the rate this is going it’s going to be, like, four years from now!”

  “It’s all right. Just calm down, Tam. ”

  She pulled on her hair. “What if he is cheating on me, Kare?”

  “Don’t borrow trouble, Tam. Why do you think he is?”

  Tamara stared at her friend. “Uh, I don’t know, maybe because you just said he might be.”

  “When I said that, I thought he was an immature college student, not a mature productive member of society. And I thought he was human.”

  “Do you think humans hold the only cheating card? Have you met Justern Memaxthal?”

  Kari laughed. “Justern falls into the immature college student category. Your new guy’s probably just waiting for an opportunity, Tam. Is he blowing you off?”

  “No, not exactly. He’s just not giving me the encouragement I want.” Tamara scowled. She bounced impatiently on the bed. “I want opportunity to knock tomorrow.” Even if it would set off her Awakening. The tension she was feeling needed an outlet, badly, and right now she didn’t care what the consequences might be.

  Kari laughed. “Don’t we all? Be patient, Tam. Just think, Jenna would drool to be in your shoes.”

  “I’m starting to understand her obsessions.”

  It was the end of the fourth week before opportunity knocked. That he’d been busy, she knew, because he hadn’t spent any off-embassy-time with the Azellians, nor had he contacted anyone at all. It was the only reason she didn’t run sc
reaming, certain that he was not interested anymore. She’d had three Awakening episodes, all of them relatively easy, most of them as she slept, and most of them starring Merran in a rather provocative role. Greg told her it was because as she slept she was more open to psi and less likely to panic, but as she didn’t tell him who the star of her dreams was, he didn’t say anything on that particular subject. She still showed no sign of a full Awakening. The stress and confusion of everything she’d been juggling finally caught up to her, though, and she ended up with a nasty cold.

  Dragging herself to work that Friday was hell. Grumpy and tired, sniffling and blowing her red, raw nose, feeling as though she’d been run over by a truck, she struggled to stay awake and focus. As she bent over a file while trying to keep her nose from dripping onto it, she felt someone behind her.

  She turned to see Merran standing there. Wearing one of his dark suits, with his tie loosened and top button opened, he was quite as gorgeous—and disturbing—as always. Dark circles ringed his dark eyes and his hair hung scraggly and long over his forehead, falling onto his eyelids. He blinked and tossed the offending hair back. “Hi.”

  Tamara sniffed. “Hi, stranger. You’ve been busy.”

  Merran smiled and leaned against the doorjamb, folding his arms across his chest. The suit jacket pulled. “I’ve been desperately trying to get the Dorbin to agree to trade some of their psych-sensitive plantlife to us. They’ve insisted on a certain level of time and commitment from me to substantiate our reasons for wanting it. It appears the Dorbin are rather attached to their plants.” He sighed and rested his head on the doorjamb. “They’ve been training me on how to care for them. I think I’ve had an hour or two of sleep per night for the past three weeks.”

  “Did you pass?” Tamara swabbed her nose, wincing as the tissue rubbed it raw again.

  “I know more about Dorbin plantlife than I think I will ever need to know. But I did manage to get them to agree to sell them to us as long as they get to train whoever will be in charge of plant care and harvesting.” Merran took a deep breath.