Alawahea

by Sara L Daigle

  “You didn’t sleep with her at all? How did she manage to get an accusation in against you? Enough that the cops really thought you were the one?”

  “I was stupid. I got drunk.” Justern closed his eyes. Tamara gasped, horrified to see tears leaking out the corners of his eyes.

  “I thought Azellians couldn’t get drunk.” She reached for his hand again, unable not to touch him. He seemed to need it so badly.

  “Oh, we can. It takes a fucking lot of it, but we can.” Justern opened his eyes. Despite the moisture at the edges of his eyes, he looked calm enough. “She came at me. I didn’t resist. I don’t remember it that clearly. I know that I wasn’t particularly functional, but she did manage to get enough out of me that I’m sure she has plenty of evidence.”

  “Oh my God. You didn’t rape her … she raped you.” Tamara lifted a shaking hand and brushed his hair out of his face.

  That made him cough. “I suppose. But it’s hard to make that accusation when I was drunk off my ass and I didn’t say no. Of course, it didn’t stop her from doing to me what she’s apparently accusing me of doing to her.”

  “Then the cops came and pumped you full of sedatives. Oh God, Justern, no wonder you almost died!” Tamara held his hand up against her face, tears running down her cheeks. “And no wonder you look like someone ran over you with a truck.” She hugged his hand to her.

  Justern turned to look at her, a strange expression on his face. “If I didn’t know you had it bad for Merran, I’d think you were actually coming on to me.”

  Tamara shook her head, wiping her tears away and releasing his hand. “Haven’t you ever had anyone care what happened to you who didn’t want to sleep with you?”

  “No.” Justern looked away.

  “What about your … mother? You can’t tell me she wanted to sleep with you.”

  “My mother died when I was ten,” Justern replied flatly. “And with it went everyone who cared about me.”

  No wonder Merran had said there was pain there. What he hadn’t said was the depth of the pain. Tamara could see it in every breath he took. “No other siblings? Father? No one?”

  “My parents fought too much to ever have any more children after me.” Justern still sounded flat and uninterested. “My father decided I was the cause of my mother’s death and abandoned me. No other siblings. Although—”

  “Although what?” Tamara breathed, prompting him. Had their mother told Justern about her? Or had she hurt too much to tell him anything?

  “My mother used to pretend with me. Pretend that I did have a sister. An older sister who would be there when I needed her, who would rescue me from whatever mess I made for myself. Sometimes Mother would cry and tell me that she pretended she had a daughter too.”

  Tamara’s eyes welled up again, although she couldn’t stop the tiny frisson from crawling up her spine. My mother. Justern is talking about my mother, she said to herself, a sense of wonder spilling through her.

  “What was she like?” Tamara couldn’t help herself from asking—for herself as well as for him. Memories of his … their … mother seemed to relax him a little, despite what Merran had said.

  “Gentle … loving. She would have done anything for me. She did do everything for me. I was the only reason in the world she continued fighting. One of the reasons my father abandoned me after her death, I think. Because she loved me, not him.” Justern didn’t notice Tamara’s tears as he continued in a dreamy tone. “She had brown hair and grey eyes like mine. She was sad most of the time. She told me once about a man she had loved, a man who had to go away, and it broke her heart. She didn’t love my father and he knew it. It took me a long, long time to understand it myself, although I’m glad she had some happiness in her life.” His eyes cleared and he continued in a different tone. “Once she died, I was alone.”

  Tamara shook her head. Her nose was running, but she didn’t want to break the spell. “You’re not alone, Justern.”

  “You believe friends are family? Spoken by someone who has family. It’s not quite the same thing.” His voice sounded brittle.

  “I’m not talking about that,” she said quietly, making the decision to tell him. Alarin had been right. “My father told me a story today. About how he went to Azelle and fell in love with a woman. They had a baby and she was forced to give her daughter up, because her family wanted her to marry someone else.” Tamara met his eyes steadily. “That daughter was me. What if the story your mother always told you was not pretend, but true?”

  Justern stared at her. His breathing became rapid, as if he were gasping for breath. He coughed and writhed in pain for a moment. “You can’t be serious.”

  “I’m Awakening. You tell me. Do I look like her?”

  Justern studied her face. The scrutiny was intense and uncomfortable. “I don’t know.” He closed his eyes. Tears spilled from the corners of them again. “Please, leave me alone.”

  Tamara did as he asked, getting to her feet, her own tears streaming down her face. She wiped her nose on her hand and left the room.

  Merran and her father were standing not far outside the door. Both of them saw her and nearly dropped their coffees. “Tamara, are you all right?” The alarm and worry in Peter’s voice made her smile. Justern was right. She was very glad she had her father—and her stepmother—and even though she was a royal pain, her sister as well. Merran would have reached her, but because he held back for a split second, her father got there first. “Is Justern all right? Merran told me you were talking, so we stayed out here. What happened?”

  Tamara sniffed and wiped at her nose again. “He’s awake and he remembers everything.”

  “That’s not why you’re crying, honey. Or is it?” Peter put an arm around her shoulders as Merran came up and handed her the handkerchief he pulled from somewhere. Tamara blew her nose.

  “Justern is innocent,” she said as she tucked the handkerchief in a pocket. “She’d been pursuing him, he refused her, then she got to him when he was drunk. She was the aggressor in the whole thing, Dad.”

  Peter slipped back into attorney mode. “Any witnesses to that effect? Is he ready to talk about it?”

  “I don’t know. I also don’t know if he’s going to want to talk to you. I, uh, told him who I was. Who you are is going to be pretty obvious.” Tamara bit her lip. “We were talking about his mother, and it came out.”

  Peter didn’t say anything, his gaze riveted to the door. Tamara looked at Merran, suddenly wondering if he was mad at her. There was a look she was starting to recognize, a slightly distracted look that told Tamara he was hearing something Peter and Tamara could not.

  His eyes cleared after a moment. “Justern would like to see you, Peter. Alone.”

  Tamara watched as her father squared his shoulders and put his hand on the door. When he went in, his chin was high and his shoulders back. Tamara never did know how much it cost Peter to walk into that room to face the son of his rival.

  “Are you mad at me?” Tamara asked in a small voice when her father had been gone for a few moments. She was shaking, she realized with some surprise. Had she just made a terrible mistake?

  Merran shook his head and smiled at her. “No, akila. I just think the timing could have been better. Justern’s gone through quite a bit already.”

  “And he needed to know he’s not alone. He’s feeling pretty beat up.” She sounded more confident than she felt.

  “You could have done that as a friend too.” Merran cocked his head and looked at her. “Why did you choose now, Tamara? Was it really for Justern’s sake?”

  Tamara shivered, her stomach clenched. “I don’t want to lose my only connection with a mother I never knew.” She closed her eyes as the awareness filtered in through her. It wasn’t only for Justern’s sake. Have I done a horrible thing? I hope not.

  Merran touched her shoulder gently but did nothing else. “It’s all right, Tamara. The words have been said and cannot be unsaid. It remains to be seen if Juste
rn is going to be pleased or not that he has a sister, or if he’s willing to accept anything from his mother’s lover, but at least you know why you did it.”

  Tamara shivered. “That’s pretty cold comfort if I just ruined his life some more.”

  “Sometimes that’s all we have. I don’t think you did just ruin his life, if that makes you feel any better. If it were me, I would want to know. You are his family and he’s always thought he had none.”

  “How’s it going in there?”

  He gave her an arch look. “Do you think we Azellians aren’t taught any better than that? Would I eavesdrop?”

  Tamara shrugged. “I would if I could.”

  Merran smiled slightly. “Justern’s shielding within an inch of his life and your father’s always hard to read.”

  “So you would too, if you could?” Tamara pounced on his phrasing. “Speaking of Justern, how is he really? You know, deep in his head?”

  “Fine as far as I could tell. In pain, but clear enough. Greg will be pleased to hear that. Once he wakes up.”

  Tamara looked up at him. “Alarin told me you were going to have to move Greg to your apartment.”

  Merran leaned slightly toward her, a smile tugging at his mouth. “Probably.”

  “That’s going to curtail nights like last night.” Tamara blinked at him coyly. He was standing far enough away from her that she didn’t think anyone would notice the change in their conversation.

  “Unless you want the Azellian ambassador showing up at your dorm room and titillating all the young girls. My face is a little too well known.”

  “Now that we know for certain, maybe when Greg recovers we should just get this over with and trigger my Awakening.” Tamara dropped her eyes to his stomach, where the belt cinched his dress pants to his waist. She followed a crease on his shirt up his tie to his neck.

  She watched his breath catch. He was not unmoved by her deliberate teasing, which made her feel good. “The reasons I wanted Alarin to do it are still valid.”

  “I don’t think Alarin’s the one who can trigger it. I like him, but he’s a friend.” She met his eyes. They were slightly dilated and very, very dark. “I’m not just talking about Awakening here, you realize.”

  Merran closed his eyes. “I know.” His voice sounded strangled. “Tamara, I—I don’t know. I want to, more than you can imagine, but I never would have let it go so far as last night if I’d known Justern was going to get arrested.” He took a deep breath and visibly pulled himself together. “Let’s deal with things one at a time, shall we? Because of the political nature of this case, I suspect Justern is going to be on trial soon. Depending on how the case turns out, we may all be recalled to Azelle. I don’t—I don’t want to start something with you that I might not be able to finish, and my dream to have an exchange might very well be dust.”

  Tamara stared at him as the import of what he said sank in. “No, no, no.” She could feel the blood drain from her face and her head begin to spin. “No, no, no. You can’t go. The students might be sent back, but not you too. We’ve had an embassy here for fifty years! Why would they recall all of you?”

  “It depends on the outcome of the court case, Tamara. If Justern’s falsely accused and the courts uphold that accusation, then the Council is going to be mightily insulted. I suspect a dramatic gesture is going to be their choice. This isn’t the first time things like this have happened, but the Council may decide it’s the last.” Merran clenched his fist. “I’m going to argue with them, but they do have the final say.”

  Tamara touched the wall to brace herself. “If they withdraw their embassy, they’re also going to refuse any visa requests, aren’t they?”

  “Oh, they’re definitely going to do that, at least temporarily. The embassy withdrawal is iffier. Considering they’ll have us to replace if they decide to open up relations with Earth again.”

  “So I won’t be able to see you again?”

  “If I got reassigned to another planet, say Ather, for instance, we could work around the restrictions. But there are too many variables. I don’t want to tie you up and prevent you from enjoying your life, Tamara. If the embassy is withdrawn, we can’t have a relationship. It’s going to be complicated enough if we’re not recalled. You’re not just a one night fling, Tamara.” One side of his mouth pulled up. “So as I said, let’s see what happens, shall we? I do agree that we need to trigger your Awakening as soon as Greg feels well enough, but let’s see when that is and where we’re at. The Council may be more reasonable than I expect, and none of this may come to pass. One step at a time, okay?”

  Tamara could feel tears threatening and she didn’t want to break down again. Not in front of Merran and not with her father ready to come out of the room at any second. “Fine.” She looked down at the ground and worked frantically to find something else to think about. The lecture from class yesterday. Don’t remember last night. Don’t remember Justern. Don’t remember my mother—either one of them. The lecture from class yesterday. Focusing on her professor’s droning voice did help, and she pulled herself together.

  Her father walked out of Justern’s room just as Tamara straightened up and pushed her hair back. Peter looked tired.

  “What happened, Dad?” Tamara brushed past Merran, who did not move.

  Peter blew his breath out in a sigh. “Well, he’s going to work with me. Unfortunately, this is not going to be easy. The girl is the daughter of a very influential trustee, and she does have physical evidence that they had intercourse. So I’m going to have to say it was consensual. No witnesses, his word against hers. Apparently, the times she came on to him and he refused her, he doesn’t remember any witnesses being around. I don’t know that I can prove she was the aggressor, so I’m going to have to say she agreed to it. The level of alcohol in Justern’s system when the cops came was pretty high—toxic to any human—but the blood test for that is probably going to be thrown out of court because the sedatives the police shot him up with are very similar and invalidate the blood test. It comes down to his word against hers, and in cases like this, I’m afraid the judge and jury are going to be heavily biased in her favor. I’ll try to work the jury the best I can, but a pretty young thing who can turn on waterworks in court is going to have most of the court on her side.” Peter looked at Merran. “What’s your government going to do if this case goes against Justern?”

  “I’d rather discuss this in the car or at your office. Justy’s asleep, so why don’t we take it outside?”

  Peter nodded, and the three of them walked downstairs. No one said anything until they reached the car, each lost in their individual thoughts.

  Once they’d gotten into the car, Merran turned to face Peter. “I have talked to the Council liaison for the embassy. The Council wants to know the truth in this. If Justern did rape her, they are willing to let this go with whatever punishment is afforded to him. If he did not, they want a formal apology from the girl and her father. How far this will go depends on human reaction.”

  Peter made a face. “I know of the girl’s father. No matter what he believes privately, he will support his daughter. I doubt we will get an apology out of them unless it is proven in court that Justern didn’t do it. And I have a feeling that’s not going to happen, unless Justern puts on a better show than she does.” He sighed. “I know enough of Azellian law to know that the Council will not accept the court’s decision as the decider of truth in this. How did they say they want you to determine the truth?”

  “You probably already know the answer to that. They want me to get both their memories of the event, if I have to rip it out of them. Justern’s won’t be a problem even though it’s alcohol hazed, but the girl’s? I can’t see it happening.”

  “Not unless it’s court ordered, and as the courts don’t accept your abilities in the first place, I think we’re pretty safe in thinking it’s not going to happen.” Peter thumped his hand on the wheel. “What then?”

  “The Council
will make a decision based on Justern’s memories of the event alone. I highly doubt Justern is lying about any of this. He knows what the Council does to establish guilt, and all of us learn very young how to keep things as clear as possible. The cloudier the memory, the more likely the Council is to decide that the whole thing has been rewritten and determine that the memories are lies.”

  “Who will read his memories?”

  “Probably one of my staff. I’m too closely related to Justern in this case. He’s my sister’s nephew. If they feel this is big enough, the Council will send someone. That part isn’t the problem. It’s the near-death drugging that they just might take as a colossal insult. They’ll recall all of us, the embassy included, and close down all visas to or from Azelle.”

  Peter shook his head. “It can’t get that far, even if the case against Justern does go badly. I doubt humans will let it. Too many humans are going to want access to Healers, after what the whole precinct watched the Healer do. As afraid of possible Azellian talents as we humans are, we’re also jealous of them, and I know the medical community would drool to get ahold of a Healer.” He rubbed his chin, leaning his arm against the steering wheel. “All right, we go after the police then. Suspected criminal or not, Justern should never have been treated that way. The state he was in when we found him? The Healer had to deal with some physical abuses as well as the drugged state. After Justern was stabilized, I took pictures of the physical injuries, before the Healer healed them. It will be easier to convince the Council it wasn’t all humans, especially if you work on the media. They’re already watching the case because Justern’s an Azellian. We can do some damage control and make sure the Council doesn’t recall the whole embassy, or the other Azellian students. I will file a lawsuit with the courts against the police. Maybe we can even get the police to stop drugging Azellians.”

  Merran shook his head, an odd kind of relief washing through him at the thought there might be a compromise position. “There is unfortunately not a whole lot humans can do to restrain us. But we might be able to work something out. I just hate the idea that Justern is going to be a casualty.”