Alawahea

by Sara L Daigle

  Tamara swallowed. She’d seen Alarin only a couple of times these past two weeks, but she’d thought it was because she’d been avoiding him, not because he was hiding out. “Nothing really.”

  “Oh please. I can see your aura, Tamara. You have brown and green in it. The brown is Merran, of course, but the green has got to be Alari. You don’t know any other Azellians.”

  “I’m telling the truth, Mel. Really, I am. Nothing happened. Not really, just a kiss. Once. And some linking when Merran and I … sleep together.”

  Mellis’s expression cleared and she pulled her legs into a typical crossed-legged position that all the Azellians did effortlessly. “Ah. You’re linking with Alari during sex with Merran. Well, that would explain a lot.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Mellis smiled at her and tossed her bangs out of her eyes. “Alari’s pretty careful about not pressuring someone into something they aren’t willing to do. He probably knows you’re having trouble with it and is keeping his distance until you approach him. You are freaking out about it, aren’t you?”

  “Well, yes,” Tamara admitted. “I mean, it’s just so … weird.”

  Mellis laughed. “It’s not that weird, especially right after Awakening, or among those who like to throw extra thrills into their sex lives.”

  “That’s what Justy said. But I was told it’s not common.”

  “Well, it’s not usually typical to do it when the parties involved are in a relationship, but even then it’s not unheard of. There have been people at home who shared a spouse before.”

  “Shared—shared a spouse?”

  “Yeah. Two women married to one man, two men to one woman, that sort of thing. It’s not all that strange, Tamara. Even on Earth, from what I’ve heard in my Earth history classes. Although it’s more commonly multiple women and one man on Earth, it’s not unheard of.”

  Tamara waved a hand. “Maybe, but it’s not mainstream, at least not in this part of the world. On Azelle … does it ever work out?”

  “Well, it can get weird, especially if one or the other thinks they’re not getting enough attention, but it works as much as anything does.” Mellis leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “You thinking about turning the psi sex physical with Alari?”

  Tamara shrugged. “I don’t know. He—he’d like me to. And he’s sharing it anyway. I care about Alarin. Quite a bit. More than I’m comfortable admitting. And Merran says he doesn’t care.”

  “He probably doesn’t. You’ve seen how often he’s anywhere you can reach him, even by phone?”

  “Yeah, rarely.”

  “He’s been like that since I’ve known him. A rolling stone that gathers no sand or whatever the saying is.”

  Tamara giggled, feeling the laugh bubble up inside of her. “I think the saying is a rolling stone gathers no moss.”

  Mellis grinned. “Whatever. Merran’s not real big on staying put. Alari, however, well, he’s the dependable type. Once he gives you his loyalty and love, he’s in for the long haul.”

  “Sexy and dependable? Wow, that’s a combo.”

  “He’s a great lover, too.” Mellis shifted her weight a little. “He and Merran are about equal in that regard, but Alari’s more … intense. Lets you in further, which increases the excitement factor. He’ll let you see and share how hot and bothered he’s getting. Merran’s too controlled for that.”

  Tamara bit her lip. She hadn’t noticed that Merran didn’t share his arousal with her, but then she had nothing to compare to. “Can I, uh, ask you a question?”

  “Sure, go ahead.”

  “Your Awakening. What was it like? If that’s not too rude.”

  Mellis smiled. “It’s personal but not rude. I was about thirteen in human years, I think. Thirteen or fourteen … I’m not sure on the exact conversion. It was summer and my friend Charina—she’s Merran’s niece—and I were hanging out at the beach with Merran. We’d been swimming in the oasis all morning and had come up onto the shore to rest before going to lunch. Merran had already Awakened and was messing around with someone. I don’t remember who now, but it was some girl he’d met and was seducing for some reason or another. These two guys came up to us—Greg and Alarin actually—and started talking to us. One thing led to another, and the next thing I knew, I was kissing the sexy redhead,” she grinned at Tamara, “and we were helping each other Awaken. Greg and Chari got sucked in too, and it sort of turned into a little more than we were intending, but it was a hell of a lot of fun.”

  No wonder Merran and Alarin don’t think sharing me is all that odd! Tamara took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Alarin left out a lot when he told me about his Awakening.”

  “Yes, he probably knew it would weird you out.” Mellis shifted her weight again. “He’s pretty powerful too, so it was quite a ride. I got to channel quite a bit of energy. He didn’t have nearly as much to do for me.”

  “I always thought Awakenings were one on one.”

  “It is one on one. Alari and I were channeling each other and though they might have been set off by our Awakening, making it happen simultaneously, so were Greg and Chari. After we were all Awake, though … well, that was a different story.” She grinned. “By the aarya, was it fun, although not typical. It’s probably only because Greg liked men, and Chari and I aren’t picky about our partners, that it went where it went. Alari sort of got dragged along for the ride. He’s actually pretty conservative when it comes to sex.”

  Tamara swallowed, not sure she really wanted to know any more. “Oh. That’s good. Because I’m probably completely tied in knots compared to what you guys are used to.”

  Mellis laughed. “Don’t worry. For him to be this careful, Alari’s very, very interested. I’d say you don’t have anything to worry about.”

  “What about his girlfriend? On Azelle?”

  Mellis shrugged. “Ask him. He’ll tell you. If there’s anything Alari is, it’s straightforward when you ask a question. He doesn’t push things on you, but if you ask, he’ll answer. Are you going to talk to him?”

  Tamara nodded. “Yes. Yes, I will.”

  “I’m certainly glad to hear that. I’d like to have him come out of his room soon.” Mellis reached for her tablet again. “So, have you figured out what the professor is asking for?”

  Tamara snorted and reached out for her tablet, too. “God no. That would mean she made sense. She can’t possibly make sense, can she?”

  Mellis laughed and they moved onto other subjects.

  Although she’d made the decision to talk to Alarin, she didn’t get the opportunity to talk to him right away. The only class she’d had with him was chemistry, and he’d dropped out of her class in the beginning of the semester and gone on to a more advanced level class. She would have joined the Azellians for dinner at the cafeteria in the hopes of running into him, or gone to his room Friday night, but her father called and asked her to come home for Friday dinner. Since he had to manage the relatives by himself—her Aunt Stacie was still helpfully present, trying to “take care” of her younger brother, Peter, and her nieces, and her grandmother had flatly refused to leave—Tamara agreed to come home for dinner and spend the night.

  After a stressful, somewhat unpleasant dinner filled with anti-Azellian slurs and negative grumblings, she escaped to her room, wondering why she’d ever agreed to spend the night. She closed her eyes, then opened them, resting her hands on her stomach. Having made the decision to talk to Alarin, she found herself wanting to do it immediately. Had Mellis been telling the truth? Was he still interested, even after two weeks of her hiding from him? She was certainly attracted to and cared about Alarin, especially since her conversation with Mellis a couple of days ago. Lying on her twin bed, she stared up at the ceiling. Was there any reason she couldn’t talk to him tonight? Turning over to reach for her phone, she pulled up Alarin’s number and put her finger over the call button. Except this isn’t really phone call material, she told herself. Removi
ng her finger, she tapped the button to turn off the screen and then put her phone back on the table beside her.

  But why can’t I call him and have him come over? Picking up the phone again, she swiped the screen and positioned her finger over the call button. Except how will he get into the house? Asking him to come upstairs to talk to her was not going to fly real well with her family—especially with her hostile grandmother and nosy aunt downstairs. She tapped the button to turn off the screen once more and put her phone back on the table beside her.

  Frustrated, she lay back on her bed, pressing her forearm into her eyes. She felt like she was in high school again—agonizing over whether to call some boy or not. Wasn’t she an adult? Flipping over on the bed, she reached for the phone for the third time. Just as she swiped the screen, a soft knock on her door and familiar presence at her shields made her leap up out of bed.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked Alarin, pulling him into her room, closing the door behind him and locking it.

  “You worried about someone breaking in or something?” he asked, his expression neutral, but his green eyes bright with amusement. It had been a while since she’d seen him and he looked really good. His hair was a bit longer, somewhat shaggy and in need of a cut. His face was rough with stubble, as if he hadn’t shaved in a day or two. It sent a thrill through her stomach. She’d forgotten just how attractive he was. She had a sudden flash of kissing him, of his body pressed against hers. “Or just afraid for my life?”

  “With my relatives? Afraid for your life. I don’t trust them to not come barging in here. You haven’t answered my question. What are you doing here?”

  He leaned against the door, looking oddly tense and relaxed at the same time. “I’ve been hanging out with Justy the past couple of days.”

  “Justy?” Although she’d spent quite a bit of time with her brother these past two weeks, he hadn’t mentioned a thing about Alarin visiting. As a matter of fact, since their conversation in the garden on the afternoon of her mother’s funeral, the subject of Merran and Alarin had been scrupulously avoided. “Oh, that’s probably a good idea. Help him feel better ...” She shook her head and went to perch on the edge of the bed. “I was just going to call you.”

  “Were you? About what?” Alarin moved to sit on the edge of the desk, his long legs crossed at the ankles.

  She licked her lips. “We need to … talk.”

  He didn’t say anything, but just looked at her expectantly.

  “I sort of left things hanging about … everything. Did you—did you talk to Merran?”

  “Briefly. He mentioned that you two had talked but not what you’d said.”

  Tamara took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I … don’t know how to handle this thing. Between us. All three of us.”

  “One step at a time is usually a good place to start.”

  She rubbed her cheek, feeling the blush crawl up it. “What if the next step is different than anything I’ve ever done or dreamed about doing?”

  He went very still. “What does that mean?”

  “I don’t—I don’t know what I want.”

  “Is that true?” Alarin studied her, his green eyes uncomfortably intense.

  “Well, no. I do know what I want. I … just don’t want it to all come crashing down. I care about Merran. I wouldn’t want to hurt him. But I … care about you too.” There. It’s been said and can’t be unsaid, she thought to herself.

  He shifted against the desk but didn’t move otherwise. She couldn’t read his reaction. “What did you and Merran talk about?”

  “About how he can’t be there for me all the time, that you could offer me things he can’t.” She stared down at her hands.

  He cleared his throat. “And what would that be?”

  “Attention, caring, support.” She’d missed him these past two weeks she realized. Almost more than she’d missed Merran. When had he moved into her affections so deeply? “I don’t know how this is going to work. But I’d like to try.”

  He shifted again. “What—” He had to stop and try again. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, then opened them, the expression in them quite intense. Her heart leaped into her throat and settled there, pounding hard. She felt dizzy. “What … what does that mean to you?”

  She swallowed and quite deliberately thinned her shields, letting him read the turmoil and desire behind her words. He shuddered as she reached out and brushed her mind over the light that played around the edges of his physical body. “I don’t know,” she whispered. “I only know I don’t want this to end. I want to see where it goes.”

  He closed his eyes and a shiver traveled through his body. His hands pressed into the top of the desk. She could feel the arousal running through him and it made her breath catch. Well, apparently Mel’s right. Alarin does share more than Merran does. I’ve never seen Merran like this, she thought. His whole body was quivering with the force of his arousal. He took a breath and let it out slowly. “I told you to come back to me when things calmed down and I’d gladly join you in that bed, or in any other you might choose,” he said, his hand shaking as he lifted it to brush his hair off his forehead. He was shielded, but emotion leaked around the edges of it, and she’d learned this past month that shields couldn’t block her empathy anyway. “I’m still willing. Is that what you want?”

  She stared down at the bedspread. “Yes,” she whispered, not daring to look at him.

  Her chin came up, although he hadn’t moved from his position on the desk. “You’re not being very convincing, Tamara.”

  Moving her head and breaking the telekinetic hold effortlessly, Tamara licked her lips that had suddenly become dry. Giving in to an impulse she’d had when he walked into her room, she got off the bed and moved over to stand in front of him. He watched her intently, shifting his legs so she could step between them. She walked forward, cupping his face in her hands and tilted her head slightly to kiss him. His stubble was prickly, but his mouth tasted fresh and clean and she made a sound as she pressed against him and deepened the kiss. He raised his hands up and twined them in her hair, standing up so he could pull her closer into his body. Alarin kissed her back with a passion she had never felt from Merran. His shields abruptly relaxed as his mind wound around hers in a sensual dance and his hands slid under her shirt, his warm fingers spanning her waist.

  By the time she came up for air, she was dizzy and could hardly remember what she had to say. “Wait, what about—I thought you had a girlfriend? On Azelle?” She could feel his heart racing as he held her tightly against him. He smelled good too. She recognized the special “guest” soap that her mother had always bought to put in the guest room and bathroom that Justern currently occupied. A flash of sorrow shot through her.

  Alarin paused, his hands stilling against her side as he shifted his grip against her body. “My … what? Oh, you mean Ida? It’s over. It’s been over since I came to Earth. She knows it.” He lowered his forehead to hers and she could feel the tremble in his arms as he held her tightly.

  She shifted, feeling his bodily sensations against her. “I’m … not ending it with Merran.”

  “I don’t expect you to.” Alarin lowered his head to kiss her, sliding his mouth and lips down her neck. She shuddered. “But I’d like to point out that I have considerably more free time than he does.” His warm mouth closed over the skin of her collarbone and she shivered, sensations skittering over her entire body.

  “Uh, shouldn’t we warn Merran?”

  Alarin stopped, lifting his head to look at her. A grin tugged at the edge of his lips. “I suppose that would be a nice thing to do. Much more mature than his little interruption a couple of weeks ago.”

  She sniffed. “I refuse to be the manner in which you two beat up on each other. Besides, isn’t he in the middle of an interview? You tell me. Do you think his riding with us will enhance the interview?” When she’d decided to talk to Alarin, she’d checked Merran’s schedule with Janill
e. He definitely had an interview tonight.

  Alarin laughed, the laugh spilling through his entire body. “Nice euphemism. It would certainly be amusing, if not enhancing of the Azellian reputation. The reporter might enjoy it if she’s female.” He moved against her, his hands beginning to wander again, caressing a warm path up the sensitive skin of her back.

  Tamara shook her head, trying to ignore the sensations flittering through her body. “No, I don’t want to share either of you with anyone else.”

  Alarin moved her toward the bed, using his body to gently nudge her backwards. She let him, taking a few steps back. “So you’re saying we have to be exclusive and you don’t?”

  “Yes.” She didn’t quite know how he’d take it, but she laid out the way she wanted it anyway.

  “What did Merran say to that caveat?” Alarin didn’t seem particularly upset; he was much more interested in removing her shirt than worried about the answer.

  She let him pull it over her head. “That he has more than enough with a job and me. As you pointed out, you have more time than he does.”

  The bed bumped the back of her knees. He frowned at her bra. “What in the name of the aarya is this thing? And how do you get it off?” He slid his hands over the silky fabric covering her breasts.

  Merran apparently has had considerably more experience with human women, Tamara thought, carefully behind shields, because my bra certainly never stumped him. He’s actually quite good at getting it off, even without being able to see the clasp. “It’s a bra,” she said, stifling a giggle at his expression. It felt good to relax enough to laugh. She hadn’t laughed much these past couple of weeks. “Azellian women don’t wear them?”

  “No.”

  She turned around. “The hook’s in the back.”

  “Ah.” After a few moments, he managed to figure out the clasp, his hands sliding up to slip the straps off her shoulders.

  She held her arms to her chest, keeping the bra in place as she turned around. “Well?”

  “Well what?” He didn’t look like he had a brain left to process words, much less be able to answer questions, but he managed to focus. “Ah, exclusivity? You realize it’s not fair taking it this far and asking me about anything right now. If you asked me for the Raderth family mantle at this moment, I’d probably happily give it to you.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, but he didn’t move back, his hands coming up to caress her upper arms. “We have something I want to explore. I’d like to see where it goes. And if it takes sharing you with Merran, I can accept that. This is complicated enough as it is. I don’t think adding anyone else to the mix would be a very good idea.”