In the Grey

by Christian, Claudia Hall

  “I remember that,” John said.

  Raz gave a slight nod.

  “I don’t,” Alex said. “Did I?”

  “You found that the epidemic was global,” Max nodded. “Of course, now we know it’s the pesticides.”

  Alex shrugged and looked at Gando.

  “Why did you cry?” Alex asked.

  “You were standing in the smoke watching the world burn,” Gando said. “I felt overwhelming sorrow at the world burning. I stood with you to watch for a while. It was horrifying and so . . . heart-breaking to see all life consumed by flame.”

  Gando’s eyes filled with tears.

  “You don’t seem surprised by the world burning, Alex,” Gando said.

  “Is there anything I can do to keep it from burning?” Alex asked.

  “That’s what I asked you,” Gando said. “It seems like you’d never thought of it. You’ve been so terrified of it happening that you never thought you could prevent it. The moment the thought occurred to you, your power animal came, and you transformed into her sauntered out of the smoke.”

  “My power animal?” Alex asked.

  “Grey panther, big and powerful,” Gando smiled. “There was another panther, a male, identical to the female watching with you. I assumed that was you, Max. An eagle overhead – John watching. And a fox at your right hand – you, Raz. Of course, the coyote, Jesse, kept trying to get you moving.”

  “And the snake?” Steve asked.

  “You saw yourself, my friend,” Gando said. “The very symbol of transformation. The only power animal for you while you adjust to your new world.”

  “We’ll have to talk more,” Steve said.

  “I’m always available to you, Pershing,” Gando said. He turned to Alex and said, “You said this thing: ‘You can’t save the world and watch it burn at the same time.’ What does it mean?”

  “It’s one of the General’s sayings,” Steve said.

  “I think it means that you have to choose whether to be an active participant or stand around and watch,” Alex said. “Like me, he’s not a big fan of brass and politicians with clean hands and dead soldiers.”

  “So, I know you have much to do today,” Gando said. “And my brother’s daughter and I need to get moving as well. I ask you to think of this – as the dynamic and active people all of you are, why are you watching the world burn?”

  “I’m just one girl, what can I do?” Alex shrugged.

  Max and Raz nodded.

  “It’s too much,” John said.

  “One person can change the course of the world,” Gando said. “You taught me that, Alex.”

  Gando looked at John and smiled.

  “Her spirit body is out of the smoke; she should heal very quickly now,” Gando said. “The rest of you have gone there for her. You are firmly in your bodies now. You will have no trouble getting on your feet. It’s time for you to go home.”

  Before they could thank him, he shoved the MP3 player into his backpack and walked to the door. He turned at the last minute.

  “I saw myself with you, and many others – living and dead,” Gando said. “There are many who will fight this battle with you.”

  He gave a quick nod and left the room. Stunned by his fast exit, Margaret ran after him. The door swung on its hinges. Before they could react, the nurse came in with their discharge papers. Less than an hour later, Max, Raz, and Steve were on their way home, and Alex was in a private room.

  She lay back against the bed intent on sleeping when she heard a woman’s voice in the hall.

  Now that she was finally alone, her mother had arrived.

  She set a smile on her face and waited to be annoyed.

  F

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  Three days later

  Wednesday evening

  December 1 – 5:23 p.m. MST

  Buckley Air Force Base, Aurora, CO

  Alex turned on her desk lamp and sat down at her desk. It had taken her all day, but she’d finally managed to get there. Her secure home office was off limits until the security was upgraded. She rubbed her face and gazed longingly at her coffee pot. She was already in big enough trouble for coming to work. The coffee would send John straight over the edge. He’d probably chain her to the bed.

  She smiled at the idea and looked at the stacks of work in front of her. To her left was a stack of opened mail. To her right lay a stack of urgent security memos. She swept the security memos into her trash can with her right arm and gasped.

  “Ow, ow, ow, ow,” she grabbed her right chest.

  “What did you do?” Sergeant Dusty stuck his head in the door.

  “Those memos hurt me,” she pointed to the memos in the trash can.

  He gave her a wry look and called down to the team room for MJ. A few minutes later, MJ came into her office. He checked her bandage and re-situated her right arm in the sling. He tightened the strap to restrict her range of movement.

  “Your wound is seeping. Again,” MJ said. “Must be important memos.”

  “Urgent,” she grinned.

  “Do I need to tape your arm down?” MJ asked.

  She shook her head.

  “What are you doing here?” Alex asked.

  “Waiting for you,” MJ gave her a ‘what else’ look. “The team wanted to ask you about something. We heard you were coming in, so we waited.”

  “Why are all the lights off?” Alex asked. “Where is everyone?”

  “Hiding,” MJ smiled.

  “They sent you as their emissary?” Alex grinned.

  “Yeah right, send the guy who can’t talk to ask the question we’ve wanted to ask for more than a year,” MJ smiled. “No, Dusty was supposed to do it but he chickened out.”

  “Hey!” Sergeant Dusty said, and stepped into the office.

  “I came in to see if you were drinking coffee and injuring yourself,” MJ said. “We’re waiting for . . .”

  Her door opened, and Raz stood in the doorway. He wore a wool cap over his turban of bandages and his wool outdoor wear. MJ rushed to his side and help Raz to the couch.

  “You’re not supposed to be here,” Alex got up.

  “Takes one to know one,” Raz said.

  “What’s going on?” Alex asked.

  “The team would like to get a Fey armband tattoo,” Raz said. “Like your green ‘F’ tattoo, but in a different color.”

  Alex raised her eyebrows. She felt a wave of sorrow, and her eyes filled with tears.

  “Um . . . ,” Alex cleared her throat and shuffled the papers on her desk.

  “That’s why no one has done it or even asked,” Raz said.

  Alex bit her lip and nodded.

  “My uncle is in town,” MJ said. “He and his family came for Thanksgiving. They wanted to meet Honey and all that. They’re staying through Christmas. He’s willing to do it – just the armband – but only if you say it’s all right.”

  “What . . . ,” Alex cleared her throat. “What color?”

  “That burnt orangish cinnamon color you wear sometimes,” MJ shrugged. “I don’t know, the women picked it out. They say it will work on everyone’s skin – even Royce’s.”

  “You want one too?” Alex asked Raz.

  “Oddly, I do,” Raz smiled. “My first tattoo.”

  “The whole team?” Alex asked.

  “Including me,” Joseph said from the doorway.

  She looked up at him. For a moment, their eyes met and lingered in grief and memory. He nodded.

  “It would mean a lot to the team,” Joseph said. “And I think it’s time.”

  His eyes flicked to the picture of the Fey Special Forces Team photo on the wall, and back to Alex. She smiled.

  “Let’s do it,” Alex said.

  “Great,” MJ said. “We thought we could do it in here. There’s more space.”

  “Why not?” Alex shrugged. “That way I can get caught up while you work.”

  “Oh, you’re getting one too,” MJ insisted
.

  “My right arm is a little tied up right now,” Alex said.

  “There’s nothing wrong with your arm,” MJ deadpanned. She smiled.

  “I’ll get one,” Alex said. “I will. I just . . . it took me all day to get here. I’d like to get done what I can while I can.”

  “Fair enough,” MJ nodded.

  “Sergeant Dusty? Can you get everyone?” Alex asked. “MJ, you go too. I want to ask Joseph something.”

  Raz moved to get up.

  “Stay there,” Alex pointed to him.

  “Thank God,” Raz lay back on the couch.

  Joseph walked to her desk and MJ left the room.

  “You sure you’re all right with this?” Alex asked.

  “It’s hard, Alex,” Joseph said. “Really hard. But . . . we have to grow or get in the box and let them bury us. I’d rather grow.”

  Alex smiled at his use of one of Charlie’s favorite expressions. He gave her a self-conscious grin.

  “I’ve been thinking about this lately,” Joseph said. “I think it was hard for Charlie to start our team. He’d been on your dad’s team and worked with really amazing people. I think starting over, doing it all again, it wasn’t easy. I think that’s just how life is.”

  “Everything always seemed so . . . official with Charlie,” Alex said.

  “Our team seems that way to our younger team members,” Joseph said.

  “Good point,” Alex said. “Thanks.”

  He nodded to her and left the room.

  “I’m going to start working,” Alex said. “I probably only have at most two hours before I fall over. How are you and Sami?”

  Raz smiled at her. She shrugged.

  “Honestly, she’s heartbroken,” Raz said. “She’s begged me for forgiveness. Twice. She’s hiding at your parents’ house so that she doesn’t have to see you, mostly. But she doesn’t want to see me either. She’s ended our relationship.”

  “Forever?” Alex asked.

  “That’s what she says. I’ve never seen her so distraught. She’s talking about selling her place and moving back to DC. If the official deed wasn’t in your father’s name, I think she’d already have the flat on the market.”

  “I’ll talk to her,” Alex said.

  “I wish you would,” Raz said. “I don’t hold her accountable. I don’t, but this running away thing doesn’t work for me. You know she told me Eoin thought something was going on.”

  “No,” Alex said. “When did she say something?”

  “That night,” Raz said. “When we went to bed.”

  Alex scrunched her nose and looked away from him.

  “What?” he asked.

  “Poor Sami,” Alex said. “Sorry. I know that’s not me being a great friend to you. You were injured and had brain surgery, and my sister beat you up. It’s just . . .”

  She paused to collect her thoughts before looking at him.

  “I can’t think of anything worse for Samantha than knowing she can be under someone else’s control and have to do things against her will.”

  “I agree,” Raz said. “I can’t imagine what it would feel like to be vulnerable to another person’s control. If I had access to that senator, I’ll tell you . . . He left her vulnerable. He started this mess. And I’d . . .”

  “That’s why you and I don’t have access to him.”

  He shook his head and made a disgusted face.

  “One good thing is that all of this has gotten her more interested in therapy,” Raz said. “She went to see a few people last year, but nothing’s ever stuck.”

  “She’s too smart,” Alex said.

  “Sharp, honest, and self-aware,” Raz nodded. “Anyway, she’s working through a list of private-pay therapists. Your mom’s paying, so money is no object. I think she’ll find someone she can talk to. She really wants to get whole. She wants to be able to trust herself.”

  “Kind of puts a crimp in the whole ‘let’s have a baby’ thing,” Alex said.

  “It does,” Raz said. “And . . . I don’t know, it’s just sad. That’s all. Beautiful girl, smart, thoughtful, sharp, and all this crap. Breaks my heart.”

  “You’re a good friend, Joshua Peretz,” Alex said.

  He flushed, and she smiled. His hazel-grey eyes caught her eyes and for a moment, the look expressed what they couldn’t put into words. Someone moved in the hallway and he looked away.

  “Work?” he asked.

  “Sure,” Alex said. “You want to help?”

  “Can I stay here?” Raz asked.

  “I don’t see why not?” Alex shrugged. “They can tattoo in the chair or at the table.”

  “Then I’m ready when you are,” Raz said.

  “Okay,” Alex looked down at the stack in front of her. “First is a printout of an email from the G2 about the ear and the finger. Let me see . . .”

  Alex logged into her computer and then into her email. She read the email and clicked through on the link.

  “What’s the verdict?” Raz asked.

  “I’m reading . . . ,” Alex said. “Short answer – the finger and the ear are not Jack Mac Kinney’s. ‘We apologize for not informing you sooner. We were waiting for confirmation of the source of the items in question.’”

  “And where was that?” Raz asked.

  “Uh . . . finger was removed from a corpse . . . looks like the person was cremated,” Alex said. “They must have taken the finger and then cremated the body.”

  “Good thinking,” Raz said.

  “Ew,” Alex said.

  “What?” Raz asked.

  “Family is one of those ‘save the body for the rapture’ folks,” Alex said. “The body was not slated for cremation. The whole thing is a big debacle. The Gardaí have arrested a couple of people.”

  “I wonder if there’s something special about that particular body,” Raz said. “Something to hide.”

  “That’s a good question,” Alex said. “I’ll ask.”

  “And the ear?” Raz asked.

  “They’re not sure,” Alex said. “DNA isn’t in the registry. They’re not even sure it’s Irish DNA.”

  “The earring?” Raz asked.

  “It’s Jack’s,” Alex said. “They postulate that they took his ring and earring and then . . . what?”

  “What do you think happened to him?” Raz asked.

  “No idea.”

  Her door opened. MJ’s uncle and her Fey Special Forces Team friend Michael Scully’s brother, Jeb, stood in the doorway. He held up a portable tattoo machine. His red hair had more grey than the last time she’d seem him, but his wizened smile spoke his thoughts on the irony of the situation.

  “You sure?” he asked.

  Alex nodded.

  “We’ll set up over here,” Jeb pointed to her conference table. “They want team leadership first. You want to go first?”

  “I’d rather Mattie and Joseph did,” Alex said. “I want to work while I can.”

  “We’ll try to keep it down,” Jeb said, and started setting up.

  Raz got up from the couch. He took a chair from in front of her desk and set it next to her. He sat down with a sigh.

  “I won’t be able to hear you,” he said.

  Alex smiled. She didn’t want to tell him that she was glad he was there, because she really wanted him home resting. But she was glad he’d come in to help. Alex got the other chair for his feet. He smiled.

  “Question: Is Jack Mac Kinney alive?” Alex asked.

  She looked up to see Joseph unbuttoning his shirt. Wearing just his light-green T-shirt, he sat down and put his right arm on the table.

  “You want it above or below the green one?” Jeb asked.

  “Below,” Joseph said.

  “Fine by me,” Alex said.

  “Same design?” Jeb asked as he swabbed Joseph’s arm. “A string of Vivaldi F’s?”

  “Please,” Alex said.

  “Easy enough.” Jeb started to work.

  “Maybe we
should ask the team,” Raz said. “They’ve been working on this for most of the week.”

  Alex looked up to see Sergeant Dusty grinning at her. Clearly, he’d arranged the tattoo party.

  “Can you bring the team in?” Alex asked.

  He stepped aside and the team filtered in. Vince came over to hug her. He let her go and Matthew hugged her. Trece came over to show her what one session with laser does to a teardrop tattoo. He and White Boy had shaved their heads to get rid of White Boy’s brown hair. Zack set a red rose on her desk.

  “Okay, okay,” MJ said. “You’re wearing her out!”

  Troy gave her a hug in response. The team’s mood was happy and light.

  “The Fey would like to ask you about Jack Mac Kinney, so settle down,” Matthew said.

  The team found seats around the table or at the sitting area. Royce and Margaret sat on the floor.

  “Do we think Jack Mac Kinney is alive?” Alex asked.

  “We’re fifty-fifty, sir,” Matthew said. “The Gardaí checked the locations you suggested and found nothing.”

  Alex held up a memo with that information.

  “I have a program tracking shipping packages and parcels from Ireland,” Troy said. “I’ve found some anomalies, but nothing outside of ordinary stupidity.”

  “What about ships?” Alex asked.

  “Nothing unusual,” Troy said.

  “What about relief supplies?” Alex asked.

  “What do you mean?” Troy asked.

  “Ireland has a long history of sending relief supplies to conflict areas, particularly refugee areas,” Alex said. “I don’t know if it’s because they only received their independence in 1922 or they’re Catholic or what, but they are very generous with relief.”

  “Relief packages aren’t subject to the same kind of scrutiny the other shipping receives.” Raz nodded and looked a little green from the effort. Colin kneeled down to check on him.

  “Okay,” Matthew said. “Why would Jack go with the relief effort?”

  “Anyone?” Alex asked.

  “Could have been drugged,” Leena said.

  “Sent in a packing crate,” Alex said. “Good thinking.”