My Friends Call Me Monster

by R. L. Stine

  Their jaws moving hungrily.

  I gritted my teeth. I held my breath. And they pounced….

  As they dove for me, I dropped to my stomach and hit the floor.

  To my surprise, I heard the lock click on the other side of the door. And the door swung open.

  The sudden movement made the monsters pull back.

  Daisy and DeWayne poked their heads into the room.

  “Michael? Are you in here?” Daisy called. “We’ve been looking everywhere —”

  She stopped. They both let out horrified cries when they saw they had stepped into a roomful of monsters.

  I was so happy to see them. My rescuers!

  I stuck out my arms and went running to hug my friends.

  A huge mistake.

  They screamed again.

  What would you do if you saw a six-foot-tall monster running at you?

  DeWayne pulled back his arm — and gave me a hard punch under my snout.

  “UNNNNNH.” The punch sent me flying back. Pain shot down my body. I dropped to my knees.

  Daisy and DeWayne gaped down at me.

  I waited for the room to stop spinning.

  The other monsters were huffing and puffing again, hopping up and down excitedly.

  “It’s ME! Michael!” I shouted to Daisy and DeWayne. But it came out, “Uuuunnngh urrrrf.”

  How could I make them understand?

  How could I show them it was me?

  I knew I had only a few seconds. My two horrified friends were already backing out of the room.

  Once they closed the door, I’d be trapped. And no one would be able to stop Mrs. Hardesty and her egg plot.

  How could I let them know?

  Something gleamed on the floor right outside the door. I squinted at it. Something silvery.

  It took me a moment to realize it was my dog whistle.

  So that’s what fell from my pocket when we were down here with the black cat!

  I stood up and moved slowly to it. With a quick swipe of my claw, I grabbed the whistle off the floor.

  Please, I thought. Please — let Daisy and DeWayne figure out that it’s me!

  I sucked in a deep breath. Raised the dog whistle to my snout.

  And started to blow.

  Then I waved it in the air so they could see it. Then I blew it some more.

  Please! Please …

  I waved the whistle at them. Did they recognize it? I blew it some more.

  Daisy and DeWayne had backed to the door. They stared at me, their faces scrunched up in confusion.

  I blew another long blast.

  To my shock, the monsters all started to whimper. They curled up on themselves, trying to cover their ears.

  All of them were shaking and quaking.

  Wow, I thought. They definitely don’t like high-pitched sounds.

  It hurt my ears, too. But I blew the whistle again.

  The monsters hunched over, trembling, whimpering softly.

  “Michael? Is that really you?” Daisy called.

  “Are you nuts?” DeWayne snapped at her. “That’s not Michael. That’s a monster waving a dog whistle at us!”

  “UNNNNH!” I cried. I raised the whistle to Daisy. I pointed it at myself.

  Sign language. Desperate sign language.

  “We’re out of here!” DeWayne cried. “They’re gonna eat us or something!”

  But Daisy kept staring hard at me. “Michael?”

  I nodded. I took a bow. I nodded some more. I waved the dog whistle in front of her.

  “We’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Daisy cried. She realized it was me! “Did Mrs. Hardesty do this to you?”

  I nodded some more.

  DeWayne was starting to believe, too. He pointed to the others. “Mrs. Hardesty hatched all these from giant eggs?”

  I nodded again.

  I knew there wasn’t time for any more questions. Mrs. H would be back from the store at any minute.

  I lowered my head and took off running. I burst between my two friends and out the door. My lizardy feet pounded the stairs up to the kitchen.

  Daisy and DeWayne followed after me. No sign of Mrs. Hardesty.

  Now what?

  I was free. Out of the basement room. But no way I could tell the whole story while I was still a monster.

  My eyes darted around the kitchen. I saw my jeans and T-shirt piled in a corner. Then I gazed at the stove.

  The eggs!

  Were there any eggs left in the pan?

  I pushed my two friends out of the way and stomped to the stove.

  “Michael? What are you doing?” Daisy cried.

  I looked down at the frying pan. Just a tiny chunk of egg left. A teaspoonful, stuck to the bottom.

  Was it enough to turn me back into me?

  It had to be!

  I lowered my face into the pan. Flicked out my snaky tongue and wrapped it around the little piece of egg. I pulled it into my mouth and swallowed it.

  Yes. Come on. Change, Michael! Change!

  I waited. Waited …

  Nothing happened.

  No. Wait.

  My stomach started to churn. The room tilted and swayed. My skin heated up. I felt as if my whole body was melting … melting to the floor.

  I looked down. I still had claws. My lizard arms were green and bumpy.

  But my legs were back. My feet. I stomped hard on the floor. Yes, my feet were there!

  I hurried to the corner and pulled on my clothes. Then I trotted to the hall mirror — and gasped.

  “Michael!” Daisy cried. “You’re … back!”

  “Kinda,” DeWayne added.

  I stared in the mirror.

  My face … my head — they were back.

  But my neck and chest were green. I still had monster arms and claws!

  “Not enough eggs!” The words burst from my throat in a growl. “I need more eggs!”

  I dove back to the stove. I scraped the bottom of the pan with my claws. I pulled the pan off the stove and flipped it upside down.

  No. None left.

  I turned and saw my two friends staring at me in horror.

  “Michael, how did this happen to you?” Daisy cried.

  “No time to explain,” I said. “Mrs. Hardesty will be back any second.”

  “But … but you … you’re still half monster!” DeWayne exclaimed.

  I rolled my eyes. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

  “But I don’t understand,” Daisy said, shaking her head. “Are you —”

  “We’ll talk later. We’ve got to get help — right away,” I said. “Mrs. Hardesty is a monster, too. She and her commander have a terrible plan. She’s going to make a big batch of her eggs for the whole class. They … they plan to turn everyone in town into monsters!”

  They both squinted at me. “Everyone in town?” DeWayne asked.

  I headed to the back door. “Who can help us?” I asked. “Who?”

  “How about Mr. Wong?” Daisy said. “He lives down the street, remember?”

  “Yeah,” DeWayne said. “Wong said to come see him if we have a problem. And we definitely have a problem!”

  “Okay. It’s a plan,” I said. “Let’s do it.”

  I grabbed the doorknob with one claw and pulled open the kitchen door. Bright sunlight greeted us as we ran out into the backyard. I saw someone’s big golden Lab sprawled on its back in the driveway. Squirrels darted for the trees when they saw us.

  We ran to the back of the yard. The big garbage Dumpster was still in the lot. Someone had leaned a bike with no tires against it.

  We crossed the lot and made our way to Mr. Wong’s yard. My legs felt trembly and strange. I think they were still part monster legs.

  Suddenly, I heard low grunts and growls behind us. And the thunder of heavy feet against the ground.

  “Look!” DeWayne spun around and pointed. “Oh, no!”

  I turned and saw the big green monsters lumbering after u
s. They moved in two’s and three’s, stumbling forward on their hind legs, eyes half shut in the bright sunlight.

  Had they ever seen the sun before?

  “We left the basement door open!” Daisy said. “They’re following us.”

  The monsters began to growl. They bared their teeth as they lumbered after us. Some of them chewed up big clumps of dirt and grass and spit them at us.

  “We … can’t outrun them,” DeWayne murmured.

  A wet clump of dirt smacked me in the back. I shook it off.

  “Not a problem!” I cried. “We’re almost at Mr. Wong’s house. When Mr. Wong sees them, he’ll have to believe our story. He’ll have to help us!”

  Mr. Wong had a small square house with red brick walls and white shutters on all the windows. A small satellite dish stood behind the garage. A vegetable garden stretched across the back. I almost stumbled over a rake half hidden by the tall grass as I ran around to the front.

  He had a big screened porch facing the street. It was empty. I climbed the front stoop and rang the bell with one claw.

  As we waited, the monsters lined up behind us in the grass. They snapped their jaws, preparing to attack. Thick drool ran down their jagged teeth. They pawed the ground impatiently.

  Then they came at us a step at a time. Closer … closer …

  I kept glancing behind me as I rang the bell again and again. The principal didn’t answer.

  “He’s GOT to be home!” I boomed. “This is an emergency. Those monsters are HUNGRY!”

  The monster part of me suddenly took over.

  I lowered my big shoulder to the door — and rammed it with my monster strength. The door cracked open. I led the way inside.

  Mr. Wong’s living room was dark and silent. The curtains were pulled, and the lights were off. I saw a pile of schoolbooks on the coffee table.

  I started to call his name, then stopped.

  I saw a light in the next room. And heard voices.

  I moved toward it. The room had a big flatscreen TV on the wall. An old black-and-white movie was on.

  I stepped closer. I saw a dark couch and a big armchair.

  And then …

  In the doorway to the TV room, I turned to my friends. “I don’t think Mr. Wong is going to be any help to us,” I whispered.

  Their faces filled with surprise. “Why not?” Daisy asked.

  I moved back so they could see into the corner. And there sat Mr. Wong — right on top of a giant egg.

  He had his eyes closed. He didn’t see us staring at him in shock from the doorway.

  He had his suit jacket off. His tie was loosened. Perched on top of the egg, he leaned his back against the wall. His hands were clasped in his lap.

  The egg was twice as big as the one in Mrs. Hardesty’s attic!

  “Wow,” DeWayne whispered, shaking his head. “He’s hatching eggs, too. Do you believe it?”

  “Let’s get out of here,” I whispered.

  Daisy, DeWayne, and I turned to leave. But our path was blocked.

  The snarling monsters had followed us inside. Snapping their jaws, drooling, they pushed into the small living room. They knocked over tables and chairs and tore the carpet with their sharp claws.

  As I stared in horror, they squeezed closer, forcing us back into the TV room.

  “We’re trapped,” Daisy whispered. “We can’t get out.”

  “They’re going to CRUSH us!” DeWayne cried. “Crush us and then EAT us!”

  I turned back to Mr. Wong. How could he sleep through this?

  “We have no choice. We have to run through the monsters,” I said. “No other way out.”

  But before we could move, I heard the front door slam. A few seconds later, Mrs. Hardesty stepped into the room. She carried a platter heaped high with scrambled eggs.

  Mrs. H had a big smile on her face as she entered. But it faded instantly when she saw the roomful of monsters.

  Her mouth dropped open in an O of shock. And she nearly dropped the egg platter.

  The monsters forgot about us and turned to greet her. Daisy, DeWayne, and I scrunched down and hid behind the monsters. They began jumping up and down with excitement and making shrill crying noises.

  But she wasn’t happy to see them. “How did you escape?” she cried. “Who let you out?”

  And then she shouted to the sleeping principal: “Commander Xannx! WAKE UP!”

  Behind us, on top of his egg, Mr. Wong blinked a few times.

  “Commander — what is happening here?” Mrs. Hardesty shouted. “My babies! My babies have escaped!”

  Daisy, DeWayne, and I exchanged glances. So Mr. Wong was Commander Xannx!

  “My babies! My babies!” Mrs. Hardesty cried. “How did you get over here?”

  Daisy, DeWayne, and I tried to scrunch down even more. But it didn’t take long for Mrs. Hardesty to spot us.

  Her pale face darkened. Her eyes narrowed. “YOU!” she screamed. “YOU evil kids let them out!”

  Behind us, Mr. Wong shook himself awake. “What is happening here?” he called. “Hyborg? Is that you?”

  Balancing the egg platter in one hand, Mrs. Hardesty pointed to her monsters. “Attack those kids!” she ordered them in a deep growl.

  My heart skipped a beat. I glanced around quickly. How to escape?

  Mr. Wong behind us. Mrs. Hardesty and the monsters in front of us.

  It didn’t look good.

  “Attack those kids!” Mrs. Hardesty screamed. “Protect the Commander! I ORDER you to attack!”

  The monsters tossed back their heads and roared. The noise shook the room.

  I felt weak. Trapped. Nowhere to move.

  Snapping their jaws, rolling their eyes wildly, they came for us.

  I felt something explode in my chest. Was it fear? Was it anger?

  I didn’t have time to think about it. I only knew that I wasn’t going to stand there and let Mrs. Hardesty’s monsters attack us.

  I was still only half human. And as the monsters lumbered forward, I let the beast in me take over.

  “They call me MONSTER!” I cried. “And I am a monster!”

  With an animal cry, I spun around. And slammed my claws into the giant eggshell.

  Mr. Wong uttered a startled shout. His arms flew up as the eggshell cracked.

  The crack was loud enough to silence the monsters. I saw the jagged line spread down the egg from top to bottom.

  And then, with another loud CRAAAAACK, the top of the shell fell in.

  Mr. Wong uttered a cry. His hands shot straight up in the air — and he dropped into the egg!

  He made a loud splash. He kicked out a small jagged piece of shell. I could see him thrashing and kicking under the thick yellow yolk.

  His head sank under the yolky yellow slime, then slid up again. He was sputtering and choking. He sank again. Then pushed his face above the thick surface.

  “I can’t swim!” he screamed. “Get me out of here! I can’t swim! Hyborg-Xrxuz — help me!”

  “Coming, Commander!” she cried. She dove toward the egg.

  But the monster anger still burned in my chest. I lifted Mrs. Hardesty — or whatever her name was — off the floor with my claws.

  She squirmed and struggled. But I was too strong for her.

  I held her high — and heaved her over the top into the giant egg.

  She made a big splash. She and Wong struggled, climbing over each other, twisting and kicking. Sputtering, they sank beneath the yellow yolk.

  Their mouths opened to scream. They swallowed egg yolk.

  As my friends and I stared in amazement, they both began to change. Their skin turned green. Their human faces shifted into green monster heads. Their bodies ballooned and twisted.

  And now we were watching two green monsters. Slapping their claws at each other, wrestling, snarling like beasts, they floundered and thrashed inside the egg.

  In seconds, they pulled each other down … down to the bottom of the egg.


  I couldn’t see them through the thick yellow goo.

  Daisy, DeWayne, and I stood gaping at the egg. Watching for them … Watching …

  They didn’t come back up.

  Whew.

  I breathed a sigh of relief. The evil aliens had been defeated — thanks to me, Monster Munroe.

  Daisy and DeWayne flashed me the thumbs-up sign.

  But we had no time to celebrate.

  The other monsters remained silent for a few seconds more. They stared at the egg as if waiting for their two leaders to return.

  And then they opened their mouths in one long angry roar. Their eyes turned red with fury. They raised their heads and snapped their jaws hungrily. And came at us, their feet thudding on the carpet.

  I swallowed hard, watching them attack. And thought: I can’t fight them all — CAN I??

  I planted my feet and raised my claws in front of me. I gritted my teeth and prepared for a battle.

  No need.

  The attacking monsters had no interest in my friends and me.

  They dove headfirst at the platter of eggs on the floor. Snarling, slapping each other away, fighting, slurping loudly, they gobbled up the eggs.

  Daisy, DeWayne, and I didn’t move. I kept my claws raised. I held my breath.

  I watched the monsters devour the eggs. Seconds later, their bodies began to change. Their green skin faded to a lighter shade. They turned yellow, and their skin began to bubble.

  “They — they’re turning to liquid!” DeWayne cried.

  Yes. He was right. Their bones shrank. Their heads melted away. Their bodies plopped wetly to the floor.

  In seconds, they had become yellow puddles on the carpet.

  I knew what was happening. “The eggs — they turn you back to what you were originally,” I said. “So … the monsters turned back into egg yolks!”

  “We won! We beat them!” Daisy cried, pumping her fists in the air.

  I tried to slap her a high five. Then I remembered I still had monster claws.

  “One more thing to do,” I said. I lowered my face to the giant cracked egg. And I licked some yolk off the shell.

  Yuck. It tasted totally gross. Lumpy like sour milk. I almost hurled. But I choked it down.

  Then I stared at my claws … and waited.

  Yesssss!