My Friends Call Me Monster

by R. L. Stine

  Maybe they hide all the mirrors here, I told myself. Maybe I’ll find stacks and stacks of mirrors.

  I knew that was dumb. But I had to find out what was down there. I took a deep breath and started down the stairs.

  My shoes thudded on the concrete. The stairs seemed to go down forever.

  I stopped halfway and squinted into the dim light. I still couldn’t see anything. Just a high concrete wall.

  No people. No Horrors. No sounds.

  I climbed the rest of the way down. Gazing all around, I found myself in an enormous cavern. It seemed to stretch for miles!

  It was silent there. I could hear my footsteps echo off the concrete walls.

  I came to a dark tunnel entrance in the wall. Glancing around, I saw dozens of tunnels heading off in all directions.

  Fat pipes and electrical cables stretched down the tunnels. From deep in the tunnel, I could hear the hum of machinery.

  I jumped when I heard a shrill BEEP BEEP BEEP.

  Spinning around, I saw a row of robots shuffling out of one tunnel. Dozens of them. They looked like shiny metal wheelbarrows with heads and arms. A wheel in front and two short legs in back.

  Their heads were round and covered in control buttons and dials. The heads were spinning and beeping as the wheelbarrow bodies rolled across the floor. Each wheelbarrow carried a large wooden crate.

  I stood frozen, watching them. Finally, they disappeared into another tunnel.

  Alone again, I moved to the next tunnel. I could see two rows of computer screens and keyboards all down the tunnel.

  The controls are here underground, I realized. Everything that runs the park. The tunnels must stretch from one end of HorrorLand to the other.

  It’s all electronic. Computerized. No people, I realized.

  Wrong!

  I gasped as a powerful hand grabbed me tightly by the shoulder and spun me around.

  My mouth dropped open but no sound came out.

  I stared up at a giant Horror. He must have been at least eight feet tall!

  He had long black horns standing straight up from the thick brown fur of his head. He wore a black-and-orange Monster Police uniform, tight over his massive chest.

  He gripped my shoulders and didn’t let go. And stared down at me with cold black eyes.

  “Kid,” he boomed. “You’ve made a bad mistake.”

  I don’t scare easy. After all, I faced real monsters back home, and I defeated them all.

  But this dude was a GIANT!

  “I — I know I made a mistake,” I stammered.

  Think fast, Michael.

  “I … thought … this was the Doom Slide,” I said. “Some kids pointed me here. They said this was the Doom Slide ride.”

  He didn’t let go of my shoulders. He leaned over me. His breath smelled of onions. “Kid, can you read?” he asked.

  I nodded. “Yeah. Oh. You mean those signs?”

  “Right. The Do Not Enter signs,” he said. “You read them?”

  “I thought they were a joke,” I said. “You know. Part of the Doom Slide. Like, to scare kids. Like everything else here.”

  His deep black eyes burned into mine. He was trying to decide if he should believe me or not.

  “You could get lost down here,” he said in a low whisper. “You could get lost in these tunnels forever.”

  A chill tightened the back of my neck. Was he threatening me?

  He let go of my shoulders. He stepped back. His shadow on the floor stretched for miles. “The signs were real,” he said. “Go back outside, kid. Walk straight to Zombie Plaza. Then follow the signs to the Doom Slide.”

  “Okay. Thanks,” I said. I turned and hurried to the stairs.

  “Sorry if I scared you,” he called after me.

  Was he kidding? I didn’t wait to find out.

  * * *

  We met in Matt’s room a short while later. The other kids had no luck, either. No sign of the Horror named Byron.

  We were all hot and tired and jittery. We weren’t having any fun. And we weren’t getting anywhere.

  What was going on in this creepy park? We still didn’t have a clue.

  But we couldn’t stop discussing it.

  “I had that golden token,” Robby said. “It said Panic Park — remember?”

  “In the vampire restaurant, I stared into the token,” Abby said. “And I started to feel strange. Like it was pulling me. Pulling me into it.”

  “Abby, could you see your reflection in it?” I asked. “Was it like a mirror?”

  Abby nodded yes.

  “What happened to it?” I asked.

  “A waitress took it,” Robby said. “She thought it was her tip.”

  “Okay. But this is cool!” I said, suddenly excited. “A coin can act like a mirror, right?”

  “It has to be real shiny,” Robby said.

  “Come on,” I said. “Who has a shiny coin? Get ’em out.”

  We all searched our pockets. I pulled out five or six coins from my jeans. They were all rubbed dull. No shiny ones.

  Angrily, I tossed them onto the floor. “Anyone?” I cried.

  No. We had only old scuffed coins.

  Lots of groans of disappointment.

  “Don’t give up,” Matt said. “We can’t give up. We’re really in danger here. And Byron is gone. There’s no one to help us.”

  “I’ll be right back,” I said. I hurried to my room and grabbed my laptop. I carried it back to Matt’s room.

  “Let’s search the Internet for the words Panic Park,” I said. “Let’s find out everything we can about it.”

  I started to boot up the computer.

  “You can’t,” Matt said. “There’s no Internet.”

  “Our cell phones don’t work, either,” Billy said.

  “There’s no way to get online,” Sheena said. “I guess they don’t use computers here.”

  “Are you joking?” I cried. “The whole place is run by computers! I’ve seen them!”

  I tapped away, but I couldn’t get online. No wireless connection. No connection of any kind.

  But it didn’t matter. I suddenly knew what we had to do. I had a plan.

  A dangerous plan.

  “Follow me,” I said.

  I led them to the white building with the DO NOT ENTER sign.

  It was a warm, sunny day. The park was jammed with people.

  We passed long lines of kids waiting to get into the Werewolf Petting Zoo and the Haunted Theater. People were even crowding around the cart that sold larvae-flavored ice cream.

  We passed several Horrors. But they didn’t pay any attention to us.

  I stopped at the front door of the building. “It’s all underground,” I explained. “Lots of tunnels going everywhere. We can hide down there. Then I can finally get online. No problem.”

  Carly Beth and Sabrina glanced around nervously. “Are you sure about this?” Sabrina asked. “Those warning signs look serious.”

  “No big deal,” I said. “We’re special guests. If we get caught, they’ll just send us back to our rooms. Right?”

  A few kids muttered, “Right.” The others weren’t so sure.

  I grabbed the knob and tried to pull the door open.

  Locked.

  I tugged harder.

  No way. This time, someone had remembered to lock it.

  “That was a long walk for nothing,” Billy grumbled.

  Matt shoved me out of the way. “Let’s try this,” he said. He raised his strange key card to the door — and it swung open!

  We touched knuckles. “Hey, I’m impressed,” I said.

  “It’s all in the wrist,” Matt said. He tucked the card back into his wallet.

  That was the last joke anyone made. Everyone turned very serious as we made our way down the steep steps and into the huge concrete cavern.

  The air grew warmer, heavy and damp. In the far distance, I could hear the roar of machinery and the beep beep of the wheelbarrow robots carr
ying their packages. The sounds echoed in the vast cavern.

  I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and glanced around. No guards. No sign of that eight-foot-tall dude.

  “Follow me,” I whispered. We kept close to the wall and edged our way to the first tunnel. I squinted into the dim light. The tunnel was jammed with old signs and stage props and furniture.

  “Is that guillotine real?” Billy asked, pointing.

  “Hope not,” I said. “But we can hide behind it.”

  I led them into the tunnel. We hunched down behind the guillotine. I kept peering around. Tense. Expecting a guard to come jumping out at us.

  I sat on the floor with my back against the tunnel wall. I propped my laptop on my lap and started typing. “Yesss!” I cried. “I knew it. There’s a wireless connection down here.”

  Carly Beth leaned over my shoulder. “Type in HorrorLand,” she said. “We’ve got to find out what’s going on here.”

  A few seconds later, I found a long article about HorrorLand. I started reading it to the others.

  “‘HorrorLand theme park was built in the mid-1970s. It was the brainchild of a man named Kit Katzman. Katzman was a huge horror fan his entire life.

  “‘He populated the park with strange-looking workers named Horrors. At first, Katzman thought they were wearing costumes and masks. Later, he wasn’t so sure.’ ”

  Matt grabbed my shoulder. “This stuff isn’t helping us,” he said. “Look up Panic Park. See what it says.”

  I did a search for Panic Park. I clicked on several links. But for some reason, they had been deleted or shut down. Finally, I found an article titled “Vanished Amusement Parks.”

  I started to read it to everyone.

  “‘Panic Park was built in the 1950s by an odd, private man named Karloff Mennis. It was a park designed for people who liked the worlds of horror, fantasy, and the bizarre.’ ”

  Matt shook his head. “Scroll down,” he said. “We don’t care about the 1950s. What about today?”

  “Wait! Wait!” I cried. “This is good. Listen to this. It’s about that carousel ride. The one that’s on fire.”

  I read from my laptop screen. “ ‘The Wheel of Fire was one of the most popular rides at Panic Park. People loved twirling around while their horses flamed.’ ”

  “So … that page Byron left us,” Sheena said. “It was definitely from Panic Park.”

  “Byron was leaving us clues about Panic Park,” Matt said. “He must want us to find out more about it.”

  “We … we saw Britney and Molly on that ride,” Billy said.

  Robby stared at the screen. “And that golden token I had — it came from Panic Park,” he said.

  “Let’s see what else we can find out about Panic Park,” I said. I leaned close to the screen and clicked on a few more links.

  “Wait. Check this out,” I said. “It’s a blog. By a boy and a girl. Luke and Lizzy somebody. They say they spent some time in HorrorLand. But — whoa. I don’t believe this. They are warning us. In their blog. They —”

  My voice was drowned out by a high, shrill siren. So loud I pressed my hands over my ears.

  And then we heard a voice booming through the sound system: “INTRUDERS! INTRUDERS! LOCKDOWN! INTRUDERS!”

  We jumped to our feet. A chill shot down my back. I could hear shouts. Heavy, running footsteps in all directions.

  “How did they find us?” Matt whispered.

  “I know,” Carly Beth said. “Sabrina and I made a terrible mistake. We never should have kept the tracking tokens Byron gave us.”

  The two girls tossed their tokens far into the tunnel.

  “They’re hiding in Tunnel B-4!” a deep voice boomed. The alarm siren rose and fell. The thundering footsteps grew louder.

  “Let’s go!” I cried.

  We ran deeper into the tunnel. Was there a way to escape? We didn’t know.

  We ran from the footsteps and the loud, angry voices. The tunnel twisted and turned. The light grew dimmer. We ducked beneath cables and wires and tangles of cords.

  “Tunnel B-4!” the loudspeaker echoed behind us. “Intruders! Tunnel B-4!”

  Breathing hard, we stopped at a narrow door. It had the word LAB painted on the front.

  Matt raised his key card to the door, and it swung open. “Maybe we can hide in here,” he said.

  He and I led the way in. The room was long and narrow. Lit by a row of dim fluorescent lights on the ceiling.

  I waited for my eyes to adjust. Then I saw a long row of lab tables. Behind them, tall cabinets lined the wall.

  “Are those cages?” Carly Beth pointed to the big boxes in the center of the room.

  We took a few steps toward them — then stopped.

  “Oh, wow!”

  “I don’t believe this!”

  “Are they real?”

  We all gasped in shock — and stared at the ugly creatures inside the barred cages. They were dark and furry, like gorillas. Except their faces … their faces were almost human.

  They had bald heads with long pointed ears. And they all had bright blue eyes. Human eyes.

  But their fat bodies were covered with black fur. And they had big paws with curled claws, like bears.

  They gnashed their teeth. Drool spilled from their mouths. They stuck their long furry arms out through the bars and swiped at us.

  “Gorilla creatures!” Sheena cried. “Are they real? Are they robots or something?”

  They sure looked real. “Maybe they are some kind of lab experiments,” I said.

  The ugly creatures grunted and gnashed their teeth. They pushed against the bars of their cages, trying to get at us.

  “We can’t stay here,” I said. “We have to —”

  The door burst open. Ten or twelve Monster Police came running in. Shouting, they waved wooden clubs above their heads.

  “Freeze!” one of them boomed. “If you move, you’ll be gorilla food!”

  I glanced around. No other door. No way to escape.

  The Monster Police formed a tight line. No way we could make a mad dash for the door.

  They backed us up against the cages. The gorilla creatures swiped the air, trying frantically to grab us. They roared and slammed their cages.

  My mind spun. I had an idea. I turned to Matt. “Quick — hand me that key card.”

  He started to reach into his jeans pocket. “What are you going to do with it, Michael?” he whispered.

  “Try to open some cages,” I said. “Let a few monsters out. You know. Distract the MP’s. While they’re chasing the gorillas, maybe we can get away.”

  Matt blew a long breath through his lips. We both knew it was a crazy idea.

  But sometimes crazy ideas are the best ideas.

  He pulled the key card from his pocket. I grabbed for it.

  “NOOO!” I yelled as it fell out of my hand. I watched in horror as the card hit the floor — and slid under one of the cages.

  We’re doomed! I thought.

  But Matt dove to the cage and dropped to his knees. He bent down low and slid one hand under the bottom of the cage.

  And then we all cried out as one of the gorilla creatures reached out of the cage. It grabbed Matt with both paws — and lifted him off the floor!

  Matt let out a scream. The gorilla creature pulled him up — then crushed him against the cage bars. It was trying to pull him into its cage!

  Matt thrashed his arms and legs. But the beast had a powerful grip. Matt couldn’t break free. He screamed again as the gorilla slammed him against the bars.

  I dove to the ground. Reached under the cage. Slid my fingers around the key card. Then I raised it and waved it in front of the lock.

  Would it work?

  Yes! The cage door swung open.

  It took the creature a few seconds to realize the door was open. Then it dropped Matt to the floor and came lumbering out of the cage on two legs.

  “STOP RIGHT THERE!” an MP boomed. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YO
U CRAZY?”

  Matt looked dazed. But he scrambled back to the other kids while I dove for the next cage. I held up the key card. The cage door swung open, and another gorilla beast eagerly staggered out.

  The two creatures stared at each other. They both growled.

  I let out a third gorilla. It stumbled out of its cage, drooling and rolling its blue human eyes.

  The MP’s were screaming at us, waving their clubs.

  The three creatures stood between the cages, eyeing each other. And then with a deafening roar, they leaped at each other.

  As I watched in amazement, they began to wrestle. They pounded each other with their big paws. Scratched at each other’s faces. Rolled on the floor, snarling and groaning.

  The MP’s rushed to break up the fight.

  That left the door unguarded.

  In seconds, we all tore through it. Back into the tunnel. We turned and ran. No MP’s out there. We could hear the monstrous fight grow louder in the lab behind us.

  We ran deeper into the tunnel. We didn’t talk. We didn’t stop running.

  Above us, we saw signs … DOOM SLIDE … A-NILE-ATOR … QUICKSAND BEACH …

  We were running underneath those attractions. At each sign, a ladder led up to the top of the tunnel.

  I stopped at a sign that read: GOOD-BYE LAND.

  My legs ached from running. I had a sharp pain in my side. “If I remember the map, Good-bye Land is at the back of the park,” I choked out. “Maybe there’s an exit up there. Maybe we can escape HorrorLand.”

  I grabbed the sides of the ladder and climbed to the top. A door in the ceiling opened easily. I could see the sky above me. I scrambled out — onto grass. And held the door open for the others.

  “We’re out!” Carly Beth cried, pumping her fists in the air.

  “We got away from those MP’s,” Robby said. He slapped me on the back. “That was awesome, Michael! Letting those beasts out of their cages — that was genius!”

  I raised my face to the sun. The warmth felt really good. My heart was still pounding from our narrow escape. “Those gorilla creatures were real,” I said. “They weren’t pretend.”

  “How did they get down there?” Sheena asked, shaking her head. “Why do they keep them underground? What is going on here?”