Same Side Selling

by Ian Altman

  The most colorful examples of forcing the fit are blatant and unethical. Think of a dentist over-diagnosing thousands of dollars of unnecessary surgery and repair, or an auto parts store selling the wrong model part for the buyer’s car (causing the poor buyer to literally force the fit!). No one still reading this book is likely to traffic in such malpractice, and we won’t spend time on it here.

  But in other cases, forcing the fit is a judgment call. It may even look like wise opportunism. Consider these scenarios:

  • A trusted strategy consultant is asked by a CEO to hire a new sales team, and the consultant accepts, even though he hasn’t done that type of work before.

  • An IT company bids on a job that requires specific technology expertise they do not have in-house. They conclude that they’ll figure it out

  Are these projects great vehicles for fueling growth and learning for the vendors, while delivering solid value to the clients? Or are they examples of forcing the fit in situations where a better course would be to use restraint?

  Later in this chapter, we’ll present our framework for double- and triple-checking the fit. First, we’ll look at the implicit peril in these opportunities and discuss how a subtle case of forcing the fit can do great harm.

  The Hazards of Pushing the Sale

  Some readers may still be scratching their heads, wondering why nudging a client closer to a sale can be a bad thing or how closing the deal might be something you don’t want. If you are thinking that, don’t worry—it probably just means that you were paying attention in your previous sales training.

  Our puzzle metaphor is useful here. You might pick up two pieces that looked like a fit and move them close to each other. But if they don’t match, you’re certainly not going to mash them together. Yet in the context of sales, the adversarial trap beckons sellers to make a sale fit, even if it really doesn’t.

  As an example, let’s say that you are selling legal services. You have a client ready to engage your firm on a retainer basis, but you suspect that the client might have only one isolated need. You could certainly provide him with additional legal services under retainer, but he might just need a quick letter and a review of an agreement. Nonetheless, the client is ready to buy.

  This is a moment of high drama, at least on the inside. The devil on your shoulder screams “sign the deal!” The angel on your other shoulder whispers “slow down.” We’ll start by assuming that you listen to the loudest voice and push ahead toward the close. Let’s look at what happens next.

  Problems Before the Sale

  Forcing the fit can kill an opportunity. In our legal services example, if the client realizes before the sale that a full retainer is overkill—while you are actively closing the sale—there are several negative outcomes.

  • Direct outcome: The prospect won’t buy.

  • Indirect outcome 1: The client won’t trust you, as he might feel somewhat taken advantage of. (Of course, he might just sigh that you were “doing your job,” as many people believe it’s the job of sales reps to get people to buy things they really don’t need. But in that case, he still won’t trust you.)

  • Indirect outcome 2: The client won’t refer you.

  This is not only a short-term loss but also a long-term loss.

  Problems After the Sale

  Another path presents a win—at least in the short term. The client signs the contract and writes the checks. In this case, there are three potential scenarios.

  First, everything could work out great: the client might discover additional needs and the retainer might provide value. That’s a great outcome: happy seller, happy buyer. (Happy devil, too?) Call it dumb luck.

  We’ll label the second outcome dumb and happy. In this case, your instincts proved right—the retainer was not the best option for the client—but he never figured it out. His company muddled along, oblivious to the waste and inefficiency of paying for far more than they needed.

  The third outcome we’ll call burned and learned. (If you prefer the name sadder but wiser, that also works.) The buyer figures out, after some period of time, that he is not getting the best value out of your services. He cancels the contract and asks for a refund of the unused retainer, and everyone starts arguing about contract cancellation timelines and fees. (Ugh.)

  Buyer’s Perspective: Eighteen months into our engagement with a service provider, we realized we were paying way too much for their services and could do everything at a lower cost with similar results. I’m quite sure we’ll never use that vendor again, nor could I refer them to anyone else. It feels like we got taken for a ride.

  It’s worth noting that the indirect negative implications discussed earlier are highly likely in the third outcome. The buyer—now a former client—will be less likely to trust you. Even if he gives you the benefit of the doubt and trusts your motive, he won’t trust your competence because you did not protect his interests and deliver value. (We don’t need to write that he won’t refer you—but he won’t.)

  Why Restraint Is the Best Path

  Now let’s go back to that point of high drama during the sales process, but assume a different course of action. Instead of forcing the fit and going ahead with the sale, you listen to the angel on your shoulder. You practice restraint by saying “no” (or “not yet”) when the buyer is willing to say “yes.” Instead, you say, “At this point, my sense is that we could address everything you need in the short term with a simple agreement that will not exceed $3,500. If, along the way, we discover additional areas where you might need our help, we can talk about expanding our agreement at that point. Fair?”

  Buyer’s Perspective: Honestly, we sometimes get lazy and commit to a solution or a vendor too soon. If we’ve been talking to a vendor for weeks, it can be hard to step back and see that committing is not the best path. Taking a step back can look bad internally, but when we rush to buy and implement, it doesn’t always serve us well. It can even put our vendors in a tough position. When things don’t turn out the way we want, it’s always easier to blame the vendor than to admit we made a bad decision.

  Keep in mind that the impetus to force the fit is not always seller-driven. The buyer may be pushing the deal more than you. No matter who’s driving the process, though, your caution may be unexpected. When you need to put the brakes on, you can say something like:

  “I hate to slow things down and we do want your business, but let’s make sure we’re looking at this the right way. We want to move forward with this only if it is the right solution for you. So can we run through the solution and the numbers again?”

  What happens next? After further exploration of the value, the client may confirm your instincts and decide it’s not the right purchase or not the right time. You lose the sale, but you know you followed your gut in questioning the fit, and the client’s conclusion was the same as yours. (You both walk away with your puzzle pieces, looking for the right opportunity to use them.) This is the worst-case scenario for not forcing the fit: perhaps a short-term financial loss, but a sound ethical and long-term decision.

  Enhance Your Stature by Being Deliberate

  It’s also quite possible that when you pause—when you show restraint—the prospect will have a different reaction. At first, you may detect a change in how he sees you. Now you’re no longer someone trying to sell retainer-based legal services above all else and acting only in self-interest. With one small step back—one decision not to grasp—you have defined yourself as someone who is carefully mindful of the prospect’s best interests.

  We want to emphasize that this approach is not charity or weak salesmanship. Nor is it a position of sacrifice or selflessness. It’s a matter of seeking the right solution and the right fit. The adversarial trap says that you have to put either yourself first or the buyer first. In Same Side Selling, the buyer and seller aren’t looking at each other and sizing up where to slice the pie so everyone gets their share. They are looking at a puzzle and deciding whether they c
an figure it out together. It’s not buyer first or seller first—it’s value first.

  A homeowner we know was planning a renovation. During a discussion between the homeowner and a construction company, the construction seller said, “It seems like you had good success with another contractor in the past. We focus on people who have had a bad experience with their contractor. Why don’t you see what your previous contractor comes up with? If you are not completely satisfied with their proposal, please contact us and we’d be happy to see if we can help.”

  This seller asked enough questions to discover that the prospect already had a favorite vendor. By doing so, the seller ensured two things: 1) the contractor would not waste time chasing an unlikely win; and 2) if the prospect was not thrilled with the first vendor’s proposal, the contractor would have a perfect opportunity to address the concerns when the homeowner would be most receptive to an alternative.

  If you ever feel tired of being treated like a salesperson, this may be the key idea you have been waiting for. It’s not a new principle, though; consider the words of the ancient historian Thucydides:

  “Of all the manifestations of power, restraint impresses men the most.”

  In a go-getter, competitive world, we have been conditioned to go for it, to make it happen, and to sell ourselves. Forcing the fit is the norm, which makes restraint still more remarkable and more effective.

  When the Right Solution Isn’t Yours

  Van Mensa is one of Nordstrom’s all-time most successful salespeople. He also has the dubious distinction of being the person from whom Ian has bought many suits over the years. Shortly before a trip to a cold climate, Ian went to Nordstrom’s to shop for a pair of gloves. Van escorted Ian to the men’s accessories department, where they began to try the various gloves to see which would be the best fit for Ian’s big hands. With none of them fitting well, Ian said, “I’m sure they’ll stretch out over time.” This was not acceptable to Van.

  Van said, “Come with me.” They exited the store, and Van escorted Ian to Macy’s, at the other end of the mall. They entered the men’s accessories department, and Van played the role of personal shopper. He asked the salesperson for a specific brand and size of glove. When Ian put it on, Van asked, “Is that a better fit?” Ian smiled and Van handled the purchase transaction with the Macy’s representative. On the walk back to Nordstrom, Van said, “If you have any problems with these gloves, just bring them back to me and I’ll take care of it.”

  Van did more than ensure that Ian found the right pair of gloves; he ensured a lifelong customer. At other times, Ian would start to buy a suit, only for Van to say, “You don’t need it. You have a suit just like it in your closet.” Ian would go home to find the forgotten suit in his closet. Quite simply, Van would never sell Ian anything he did not need.

  Exercising restraint is a powerful long-term strategy to achieve more sales with less effort. This idea may seem contradictory, but no does often lead to yes. Just as in the Nordstrom example, finding the right solution for your client (even if it is not your own solution) is what leads to long-term repeat and referral business.

  When You Pull Back, They Often Follow

  At speaking engagements, Ian teaches restraint with a memorable exercise that gets everyone out of their seats. All attendees pair up, and one person in each pair—the lead—is given instructions which the other person does not see. Then they proceed with a 5-second exercise that is often described as the biggest a-ha moment of the day.

  Each person stands facing their partner, and then places the palms of their hands against their partners’ hands. (This part always generates some giggles, even among mature professionals.) Then, as the partners stand face to face, palm to palm, Ian says “Go,” and the lead partners carry out their instructions.

  There are two sets of instructions. On the left side of the room, the leads are instructed to push forward with their hands, slowly but firmly. On the right side of the room, the leads are instructed to gently and slowly draw their hands backwards, toward themselves.

  Can you guess what happens? It is extremely consistent among the thousands of people who have taken part in the exercise.

  The lead “pushers” see the same reaction in more than 95 percent of the situations: they get resistance from their partners, who push back in a contest of strength. In less than 5 percent of the situations, the other people will just quickly pull their hands back.

  The lead “pullers” experience one dominant reaction from their partners. Nearly all of them slowly follow the lead person’s hands back.

  After he passes out hand sanitizer, Ian lands this hands-on learning exercise with two simple messages:

  Lesson 1: When you push as a seller, buyers will almost always push back at you or simply pull away altogether. It’s a form of the “fight or flight” response. Under pressure, you generally get resistance either with confrontation or with “don’t call us, we’ll call you.”

  Lesson 2: If you pull back—if you show restraint—buyers will often follow you where you lead them. At a minimum, you will pique their interest.

  When Restraint Leads to the Sale

  Is using restraint some sort of manipulative “reverse psychology” trick? It can be, and if you treat it like a gimmick, it probably won’t yield long-term results. But if exercising restraint is a genuine action to get on the same side and continue Finding Impact Together, it is likely to be good both for relationships and for sales.

  Let’s refer to our example of the legal services sale. You, as the seller, have practiced restraint and challenged the fit even though the prospect seemed ready to buy. The client may agree with your instincts and not buy, as we discussed above. But he may be just as likely to follow your hands as you draw them back:

  “No, I really think we’ll use more of your services, and the retainer is the best solution for us.”

  “We have some changes coming that will make the retainer even more valuable for us.”

  “We’ve been looking for months, and I have approval for this engagement. It’s the right move.”

  Are these the things we want to hear from clients? Absolutely! Not only have they started selling you, but they have also escalated their commitment, thereby increasing their likelihood of success. They have expressed ownership of the buying decision and have better demonstrated their understanding of the benefits. This response does not absolve the seller of ensuring value, but it certainly makes the burden lighter.

  There’s No Such Thing as a Pushy Ambassador

  Sales professionals are not known for restraint; quite the opposite. They’re expected to drive toward a sale, whether or not it works well for the customer. Even if you are in the profession of sales, you may have this default perception. Consider the last time you were buying a car, a home appliance, or any other item that required you to talk to a salesperson. Was that salesperson a model of restraint and respect? Or was he just a bit pushy? In short, was he looking to sell or looking to solve?

  We’ve explained and repeated our simple approach of Finding Impact Together and making the client’s challenge our main concern. Here’s an eloquent description by Seth Godin of the posture we endorse in Same Side Selling:

  Your customers need an ambassador. Someone who is open to hearing what they have, need and want, not merely a marketer intent on selling them a particular point of view. Once you understand someone, it’s much easier to bring them something that benefits everyone.

  And your partners need you to honor the spirit and intent of the deals you do with them. The goal of a long-term relationship isn’t to find the loophole that lets you do what you want. (From “Ambassadors and treaties,” October 19, 2013, )

  We love the way Seth’s concept of being an ambassador conveys the spirit of restraint. An ambassador would never force the fit.

  Is It Forcing the Fit or Just Good Selling?

  Admittedly, there
is no failsafe diagnostic to determine when a seller is forcing the fit. But these questions will point the way:

  Question 1: Are you being completely honest and open about the solution?

  Honesty is the first standard. If you have in any way misled the buyer, allowed her to have the wrong perception, or overstated your capability, then you are probably forcing the fit.

  Question 2: Would your solution be in the best interest of the owners of the buying company?

  This question is a bit different from “would the owners approve of the purchase?” because it requires you to apply your expertise about your own industry and solution. Think long-term, and try to suspend your healthy bias about your own capability.

  Question 3: Would your board agree that this project is in line with your company’s strengths and strategy?

  There are times when a company sells something outside of the areas in which it has a track record. That doesn’t mean it won’t work, but the decision should always be aligned with strategy to ensure that the company will be committed to seeing the value through.

  If you put the opportunity through these questions, does it look more like a fit or less like a fit?

  When in Doubt, Bow Out

  If the answer is still unclear, the Same Side approach is to err on the side of restraint. This contradicts the Always Be Closing mentality that many (if not nearly all) sales professionals would endorse.

  We’ve analyzed how restraint can clarify the fit, build trust, and position you for future business and referrals. With those benefits, there may be some added risk that you will lose the sale; but then again, it may be a sale that’s better to lose. There’s also a good chance that as soon as you step away, the buyer will start roping you back in. (“Please let me buy from you!”)