One and a Half Regrets: A Sweet, New Adult Romance (Love by the Numbers Book 1)

by J. A. Coffey

  “The cops came by and roped off the Rogue. They told us you stayed behind to file the report.”

  “It was worth it, if it means freeing up our future.” He scrubs his hands through his hair. “I want to be there for you and your family. All of them. Cormack, Ma…and anyone else who comes along. I love you, Beth.”

  “I’m not afraid any longer. I love you. No matter what, Cadence and I need you in our lives.”

  Liam draws back. “I’m so glad you feel that way.” And suddenly he’s bending down on one knee, with empty hands. “I didn’t have time to get a ring, but…Bethany MacGuire, will you marry me?” There’s a burst of applause from whatever’s happening on stage, one that echoes the fireworks in my own heart.

  “Oh, Liam.” I put my hand into his and neither of us is empty anymore. “Yes.”

  "Hey! I'm real happy for you, kid. I'm sorry I gave you that shitty advice last year. I’ve just seen too many great musicians derailed by matters of the heart.” DeSilva butts in, scratching his head. “Guess you’re going to prove me wrong.”

  “This time,” Liam says, determinedly holding my hand. “You’re wrong. This is forever.”

  DeSilva’s face softens. For the first time, his smile isn’t so predatory. He actually looks happy for us. “Looks like Wylde Ryder will get that wedding celebration after all,” he crows. “Great plan, kid…I can spin this!”

  “No!” both Liam and I chorus. What we have isn’t for show.

  “Fine, fine.” DeSilva steps away to take a call. Or maybe he’s giving us some privacy for once. We laugh nervously, unsure what that means for our future. I don’t care; I’m just happy to be here with Liam.

  “So now what?” I ask.

  “Well, there’s this show I have to do.” He gives me a look. “Will you wait for me?”

  “I’ll be here.”

  Liam kisses me, then leaps to his drum pit just as Zane starts strumming the baseline to “Keepin’ Me Down.” The song is a crowd favorite and it has fans screaming before the vocals even begin.

  The first hour of the concert passes in a blur. My ears are ringing from the rocking beat and the screaming of the audience. Liam and his bandmates are true performers; they work the crowd like lovers, and before I know it, nobody remembers that the concert started late. All that matters is the music.

  I catch the eye of Marco DeSilva who sees me swaying in the wings. And he gives me a thumbs-up.

  I laugh.

  At the end of the first set, Liam and the rest of the band run off stage while the crew changes out the set for the encore. It’s a whir of machinery and people and I do my best to stay out of the way. Liam is dripping with sweat, but his face is still glowing with excitement when he pulls me aside.

  “Five minutes,” Zane murmurs, going to grab a bottle of water.

  “What about DeSilva?” Liam’s gaze darts to the shadows where I last saw his agent.

  Zane Ryder looks at me, then back at Liam. “Go for it.”

  “Liam?” I put my hand on his arm. “What’s going on?” My voice sounds overly loud, even to me, but after the deafening noise of the concert, he can barely hear me.

  “I’ve got a bit of a surprise.”

  “What kind of surprise?”

  “I know you think you left music behind, but you’re wrong. You’re amazingly talented. Let me prove to you that you have what it takes to be a professional musician.”

  “What? How?” I shake my head. He’s crazy. Maybe in a month or so, I’ll find somewhere to audition. But until then…

  His arms drop from around my waist, and he scoots behind a huge set of amps, returning with a pristine violin case.

  “What’s this?” I heft the violin case. “Is this what you got me instead of a ring?” I tease. “I don’t need the music, Liam. I just need you.”

  “I think you do. It’s part of you, just like Cadence. Just like me.”

  My heart beat speeds faster than I thought possible. I scoff. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “This is a chance for us both to chase our dreams, Bethany. I’m not leaving you behind.” The backstage crew has reset the stage. Time is up. Liam holds out his hand, and the crowd is still chanting, rabid for another taste of Wylde Ryder. “They may not be the same dreams as before, but I promise you…they’re just as magical.”

  “You want me to play with you?” I scan the faces of Liam, Zane and Finn. They give me a nod. “With the band?”

  “Absolutely,” Liam shouts. “You’re a star, Beth.”

  I believe him. Everything in me tells me to trust him.

  The crowd is a blur of faceless, nameless people all screaming as Zane is killing time, posturing and playing to the crowd. Finn does a few lead guitar licks. Three pairs of panties, a T-shirt and a purple bra wing onto stage and we laugh as the stage crew scurries to pick them up.

  Liam opens the case and takes out a black Zeta Jazz Fusion electric violin. The thing is gorgeous. A solid body instrument where the sound is created by vibrations of the strings rather than the body of the instrument. Sound quality will be different than my acoustic, but it would mesh perfectly with, say, a hot rock band.

  “Here.” Liam plugs in the cable to the back and hands it to me. “It’s already been tuned and you’re amped up.”

  “Are you sure?” I take a few experimental pulls on the strings. The sound rings out clear and true, causing the audience to quiet down, but it’s an instrument that costs several thousand dollars. I’m almost afraid to hold it.

  “Play. With me and the band.” He gives me an encouraging smile, then bolts out on stage, past Zane who looks at me and nods. “Now.”

  As Liam crawls behind the drum set, Zane greets the crowd and motions for silence. He pauses when he sees me waiting to the side.

  “Still rockin’, Seattle?” Zane asks. The crowd goes wild. “Then help me welcome to the stage a special guest of Wylde Ryder, Miss Bethany MacGuire.”

  This is crazy. It’s all happening so fast.

  The sound guys nudge me forward and somehow I’m walking on stage from the side curtains, holding the electric violin, a spot of green and black on the Wylde Ryder set.

  A smattering of polite clapping follows, and I give Liam one last panicked look. He mouths three words that set my heart on fire. “I love you.”

  I can hear him, even over the restless, cheering crowd. There’s no space between us and nothing to stop us, as long as we are together. I smile and nod back. “I love you, too.”

  I raise my bow.

  Liam counts off to start “I Wanna be Urs.” The one we practiced together. The one that made Cadence chortle with joy. I close my eyes, forget everything but that day, and play the opening sequence.

  After the first few notes, the audience roars in surprise. Zane turns around and gives me an encouraging clap. Finn joins in with his lead guitar, along with the background singers, but all I hear is the rich tone of my instrument and the beat of Liam’s drumming.

  Before long, I’m lost in the sound, my upper body swaying in the dance of my bow over the strings. My face flushes as I push the music higher and sweeter than the heavy rock recording on their record. I add in complements, additional notes that add complexity and beauty to the original piece.

  Zane’s chorus ends and he’s clapping along, clearly enjoying himself. We all are.

  “Yeah!” Finn shouts. The crowd cheers louder as we engage in a musical mock battle, back and forth, violin versus guitar, and all the while Liam’s steady staccato forms the foundation of our song. Just when I don’t think I can hold out any longer, Zane vaults to the microphone and takes up the melody, his husky lead vocals filling the space where my violin echoes.

  “Keep going Beth.” Liam nods, still playing. “Let’s light this!”

  I wipe the back of my hand over my face and jump back into the song at the last chorus, my notes creating a sweet counter-melody to an already awesome rock hit. With a fin
al saw on the strings, I execute a final trill and the song ends.

  Then it’s over.

  My ears ring and my chest heaves. I’m huffing like I’ve run a marathon. But I feel better than I have in years. I feel like a superstar. Sweat drips off my lower back and the spotlights are so bright I can’t see. I toss Liam a questioning glance, and the expression on his face tells me everything I need to know.

  Then the audience explodes, their applause building like thunder, washing over me, over him, over everyone in the stadium. My cheeks burn under the spotlights, and for the first time I realize how much I missed this. Missed…having a life outside of being a mom or a caretaker.

  I can’t believe it. My debut as a musician, and it’s at Liam’s side.

  I’m overwhelmed.

  With a sob, I press a shaking hand over my sweaty upper lip and dart offstage. I run blindly, pushing past the myriad groupies and backstage security. Past the sound crew, past the stage hands, past the shocked, concerned face of Marco DeSilva. Somewhere behind me I hear Zane’s voice booming through the stands as he thanks everyone.

  Liam wraps his arms around me and I don’t even care that both of us are soaked as if we’d plunged into a pool. “Did you hear yourself out there? It was amazing.”

  “The audience would’ve clapped for any monkey with a musical instrument, Liam. They worship you.” I try to downplay it, but a tiny part of me is so proud that I want to burst.

  He rakes a hand through his spiky hair. “What we created out there was incredible. Just like our daughter. You see that, don’t you?”

  I want to grab ahold of him and never let go. “See what?”

  “We belong together.” He takes my hands. “I’m only half-alive without you and Cadence. And I want to be whole, Beth. Whole-hearted.”

  My ears are ringing, my head is spinning. I’m pretty sure this is some kind of dream.

  “What the hell was that?” Marco DeSilva strides towards us, his white suit like moth wings against the dark side stage. My heart clenches because I don’t want this beautiful moment to be ruined.

  Liam squares off with his recording agent and mentor. “Ease up, Marco. This doesn’t involve you.” His hand is still holding mine.

  “It involved me the moment you dragged your personal life onto my stage.” DeSilva waves his arms. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

  We stare at him. “What did we do?” I ask, afraid to hear that I’ve somehow damaged Liam’s status or contract.

  “You’ve just launched the career of a lifetime.” Marco catches my hands and I force myself not to jerk them away. He’s practically dancing with glee, which is both gross and weird for a grown man his size.

  “I don’t think so. I’m just a waitress…” My arm is bobbing up and down with the force of his happy handshake.

  “Not anymore,” Liam reminds me. “Not if you don’t want.”

  “What about Cadence and rebuilding the Rogue?” I ask.

  Liam tucks his arm around my shoulder. “We’ll find a way. If we can’t make this work, then Wylde Ryder can go on without us.”

  Us. We’re an ‘us.’ I want to cheer like the rest of the audience out front.

  “We’ll figure it out. It’s the age of technology, Beth. We can live in Seattle. Get your mom sorted. Meet up for regular jam sessions. Send our collaborations online. Hell, if need be, we can send individual recordings to the studio for production. It can work. We can make it work.”

  “And on the road? The concerts?”

  “We’re musicians. That makes us family.” Liam glances at the rest of his band. “Right, mates?”

  “Absolutely,” Finn agrees.

  “That goes for me, too.” Zane slings his arm around Liam’s shoulders and nods at me. “Love the new sound. Think it might be great for our next album.”

  “You and Finn are in agreement?” DeSilva asks. “Will wonders never cease!”

  The agent’s gaze darts from me and Liam to the rest of the band. He sees nothing but determination. A solid unit, almost like…a family.

  “You’ll need representation, my dear. I’d like to offer my services. Of course, you’ll be under the same contractual obligations,” DeSilva says. “And I get first right of refusal on any subsequent albums in the future.”

  “No way.” Liam stands in front of me. “Unless that’s what she wants.”

  I can tell by his expression it’s not a good offer.

  DeSilva hesitates. “First right of representation on any rock album collaborations? Not to exceed the Wylde Ryder contractual period?”

  “Better.” Liam glances at me. There’s no way I’m playing without him. “Marco may be kind of an asshole, but he’s pretty astute.”

  “What do you think?”

  “He knows how to make it in this business. But I wouldn’t agree to anything without a full review of all the contractual terms. Might want to get a lawyer to look it over.”

  “Right.” I face DeSilva, determined to be smart about my future plans. “No guarantees, but I’m open to negotiation.”

  “Excellent. Negotiation is what I do, my dear.” Marco is all smiles, making plans for me. I wonder if I could get used to a life as a professional musician. From what Liam has said, it’s hard work, but it will be easier knowing that I have Liam at my side.

  Family sticks together, even the family you choose.

  I can tell that Wylde Ryder has been that for Liam. Maybe it will happen for me, too. Who knows? Liam laughs and half-hugs me.

  “Welcome to the family,” he says.

  Epilogue

  Beth

  The next week, Liam, Cadence and I drop by the Auld Rogue to help pick through what’s left. He’s between concerts for a few days, and we seize all the time we can together. Now that I’ve got representation to negotiate with Marco DeSilva, the agent was willing to loosen his chokehold on the band schedule. He sent Finn off to Mexico with a warning to clean up his publicity fiasco and I’ve secured an attorney to check the record label’s offer.

  “Is that Liam Hensley I see darkening my door?” Ma’s voice echoes with mock warning from what should’ve been the back office.

  “Nice to see you again, Ms. MacGuire.” Liam steps forward. “Glad to see you up and around.”

  “Hope you plan to do right by my girl.” She spreads her hands across her hips. Battle stance. “This time.”

  “This time. And every time. For both my girls.” Liam holds her gaze without flinching.

  “Our girls.” Ma nods and all seems well. At least, as well as it can be.

  There’s a Claddagh ring with a sparkling emerald heart gracing the fourth finger of my left hand—a promise that says he will. “We’ve got wedding plans to make, Ma.” I grin at her as Liam places a kiss on the top of mine and Cadence’s heads.

  “Lordy, don’t remind me.” But she’s smiling.

  I resettle the baby on my hip and view the devastation. “I met with an entertainment lawyer today. The one that Pat recommended. She says I need to incorporate myself as a professional entity.” I sigh. More business to deal with.

  Our bartender Pat Murphy has a friend whose sister is practices entertainment law, and I’ve hired her to look over DeSilva’s contract. In between caring for Cadence and the formal arrest of Liam’s father for torching the pub, there hasn’t been much time for anything else. Part of me is deliriously happy that Ma will no longer be surrounded by temptation or saddled with a dying pub. The other part of me is filled with guilt. I’m on the verge of happiness and a new life with Liam. A new source of income, if the contract is right. But it’s still hard to believe all my savings went up in smoke.

  At least Ma knows she wasn’t to blame. Still, we’ve been dealing with extricating ourselves from the bar business—sending the undamaged property to auction and meeting with the insurance company’s recommended clean-up crews. I figure we’re nearly finished with the whole thing, which is
both a relief and heartbreaking. All those years…for nothing. I can’t imagine how Ma feels.

  “What’s going on here?” I stare at the bustle of workers cleaning out the charred furniture and disassembling the once-beautiful mahogany bar.

  Ma steps forward, looking better than I’ve seen her in months…maybe years. “Renovations.”

  “Renovations?” My heart sinks. Liam walks over to help Pat toss what’s left of the furniture into one of many Dumpsters out back. I jostle Cadence in my arms and she pats her sweet, chubby hands on my face. “What renovations?”

  My hands go slick. I’m scared to death Ma’s going to shackle us all to another dying venture—one that will be a constant source of temptation.

  “We’re going to rebuild, of course,” she says as if it’s the most natural response in the world. “What did you think? That we’d let a little setback drag us down?”

  Just can’t keep me dowwwwwwwn. Hey, a girl could hope.

  “No.” I sigh, feeling the long years of my life stretching ahead. Whether I sign with DeSilva or not, whether I get back to music or not, I can’t desert my family here. I feel like I should set Cadence down and start helping the cleanup crew, but honestly, I can’t muster the desire to do so and there’s no place safe for her in the ruin of the Rogue.

  “Don’t give me that look, Bethany Ann.” Ma crosses her arms, and I’m waiting for the thunder to boom, but instead there’s something odd playing behind her eyes. Something…like hope. Excitement.

  Cormack rounds the corner, sees me, and stops short. “Oh. You’re here.”

  “I’m here? Yes, I’m here,” I parrot trying to make sense.

  He smiles and reaches into a file folder.

  “What is going on, Cor?” I’m about to explode. It feels like everyone’s got a big secret to hide, but I’m not in on it.

  “I’ve got your check.” He unfolds a business-sized envelope from his back pocket.

  “Check?” I’m starting to feel like I never left kindergarten. I just keep repeating useless phrases.