Chasing Yesterday

by Shiralyn J. Lee

  “Well, I can certainly see where our money goes,” she muttered, as she pulled up into a parking space.

  She approached the reception desk, where a woman sat behind a computer, tapping on the keyboard. “Hello, can I help you?” she politely asked.

  Jessie leaned on the counter. “Yes, I’m here to see my sister.”

  The woman stopped typing and raised her eyes to meet with Jessie’s. “And who is that?”

  “Corby Wheeler.”

  “Oh, Corby. I heard about her grandpa passing away recently. I’m so sorry.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Well, I do believe that she’s in her room, so if you go down to the end of the hall and turn left, you’ll find her in room 106.”

  “Thank you,” Jessie said, making her way down the hall. She reached room 106 and stood outside of the closed door, wondering whether she should go in, or not. Before she was able to change her mind the door opened and a nurse walked out.

  “Oh, hello. I haven’t seen you here before,” the nurse said.

  “Hi. I’m Jessie Wheeler, Corby’s sister. It’s been a while since I last came here.”

  “Oh.” The nurse turned around and called back to Corby. “You have a visitor, Corby. It’s your sister, how exciting is that?”

  Corby hadn’t spoken since her brain injury caused by the accident. She was seated in a comfortable chair and stared out of the large window.

  Jessie entered her room casually, unsure of whether her sister would recognise her or not. She calmly crouched down in front of her sister and took a good look at her. “Oh, Corby, I’m so sorry that I haven’t been to see you in such a long time. There’s no excuse.” Tears pooled in her eyes, as the guilt overwhelmed her, and holding Corby’s hand between her two palms, she whispered, “I do love you. I hope somewhere inside there that you know that.” It was pointless to her to say anything, as all she could see was a shell of a person. “Grandpa passed away.” Saying those words out loud really made her think about what had been happening in her life over the past few days. She broke down and cried hard into Corby’s lap. “I’m so sorry, Corby, I really am. I hate myself for what I’ve done to you. Can you ever forgive me?” She got up and ran out of the room, feeling sickened by her own ridiculous behaviour. When she reached the reception desk, she grabbed a tissue from the box on the counter and blew her nose. “Who do I write a check out to?” she asked the woman as she produced her check book from her inside pocket.

  “House of Hope,” the woman said softly and gave an understanding smile. “It can be very daunting seeing a loved one like that. You just have to remain strong for their sake. She’s more aware of her surroundings than you think she is. It’s just harder, because you’re looking at this from the outside.”

  Jessie wrote the check out and passed it to the woman. “I can see that she’s getting good care here. She deserves it.”

  “You’re welcome to visit her any time.”

  “Yes, sure,” Jessie replied and walked away, her hands fisted at her sides, pounding her thighs as she marched. Approaching her truck, she felt as though her feet were like lead weights. Her thoughts were riddled with guilt as she opened the truck door and lit up a cigarette. She stood in the sun, leaning up against her truck and took long drags of her cigarette. Looking up at the building, she figured out which window belonged to her sister’s room and wondered if she could see her smoking. She threw the cigarette down on the ground and stomped on it to put it out. “I love you Corby,” she whispered, and then climbed into her truck, started it up and drove off. She stopped at the end of the road and looked both ways for on-coming traffic. Nothing was coming, but she still remained stationary. Her frustration had built beyond her control and only knowing one way to release it, she smacked her fists hard on the steering wheel, lowered her head and screamed hysterically. “Why didn’t you take me? WHY?”

  •••

  Travis knelt down and took a look at Heather’s flat tire. He inspected it and found that a screw had been the cause of the puncture. “I’ll get Steve James to tow it over to the garage. You might want to buy yourself a coffee while you wait.”

  Heather bent down to look at the offending screw. “Seems to be the only thing getting screwed lately,” she muttered to herself.

  “What was that?” Travis asked.

  “Oh, nothing. Just a little reminder of what I need to get for myself.”

  Travis sat back in his truck and put a call in on his police radio for Steve to come out to the Horsewhip bar and pick up the Mustang.

  Heather lit up a cigarette and offered him one. He politely declined, as he didn’t smoke anymore. “So have you’ve lived here all of your life?” she asked him.

  “Ma’am, I sure have, and proud of it too. I know most folks around these parts by their first names. So how long have you known Jessie?”

  “Well, let me see now. We go back quite a way.” She looked at her wrist watch. “All of fourteen hours now. We met in this bar last night. Jessie was too drunk to drive home, so I did the honorable thing and got her home safely.”

  “Do you have any plans on staying around, or are you driving through to somewhere else?” he asked inquisitively.

  “Funny you should ask that.” She took a drag on her cigarette and exhaled the smoke. “My intention was to drive through, but as of this morning, I’m now employed by Jessie as a ranch hand.”

  “Employed? That was sudden. I thought Jessie wanted to sell the ranch and stay in Vancouver?”

  “Sometimes the best decisions are made without thinking first. If it doesn’t work out I’m sure that Jessie will let me know.”

  “You need experience and good knowledge for this job, I take it that you’ve got some kind of experience?”

  “Okay, I know what you’re doing. You’re fishing for information on me. Well let me save you the bother, Sheriff. I grew up on a ranch, one much like Jessie’s. My father owned it but now he’s in jail for murder and we had to sell the land. That doesn’t make me a bad person and before you go jumping to conclusions, my father isn’t a bad person either. He got caught up in a fight over my mother having an affair and it ended in the other man dying. It wasn’t premeditated either. My father is sorry for what happened and I’m worried for him, as he’s changed. He’s not the strong man who I’ve known all of my life, he’s now a fragile shell of himself and there was a time that the warden was afraid he might try to kill himself. So you see, we are not all bad people.”

  “Well, thank you for your honesty, ma’am. I’m sure that your daddy didn’t mean to get himself where he is today.”

  A tow-truck pulled into the parking lot and after circling around the Mustang, parked in front of it. Steve jumped out of the cabin and shook Travis’s hand. Travis held out his hand and showed him the offending screw and Heather giggled to herself. She threw the butt of her cigarette down and trampled on it, then after Steve had hooked her car up, she got inside his truck cabin. She opened the window and waved her hand at Travis.

  At the garage, Steve removed the flat tire and replaced it with a brand new one, while Heather sat in the waiting room drinking a coffee she’d bought from Edie’s coffee shop next door. Twenty minutes later Steve handed her the invoice with recommendations for the brakes to be replaced. “You really need to get these done soon,” he told her.

  “There’s always a catch, isn’t there?” she joked. “So, I don’t suppose you know of any keen teenager looking to ride horses in exchange for mucking out stables and doing a few ranch chores, do you?”

  Steve scratched his head and thought for a moment. “Maybe you should ask Edie. I know she has a sixteen-year old daughter, she might be a keen girl to want to ride horses.”

  “Edie. She’s the woman who owns the coffee shop, right?” Heather asked, pointing at the coffee shop across the road.

  “Yep. I’m sure she’d be glad to get her daughter from under her feet. She’s not a bad kid, she just doesn’t know what she wants to do
in life. This is a small town, there’s only so much a teenager can do around these parts.”

  Moving to walk away from the garage, she said, “Well thanks. I’ll go and talk to her now.”

  “After you pay me,” he replied, holding his hand out ready to receive his payment.

  “Of course, how stupid of me to forget. Cash okay?”

  “Sure is.”

  •••

  Still drinking from her take-out cup, Heather entered the coffee shop again. Edie, a divorced woman in her late-forties, was behind the counter wrapping a slice of lemon drizzle cake for a customer. She looked up from her task and gave an acknowledging smile, then brushed back the loose strands of her honey-butter-blonde hair behind her ears. “Hello again,” she said politely. She looked tired, as if she had the weight of the whole world on her shoulders.

  “Hello. I’ve got an enquiry to make, do you have a moment?” Heather asked her, her eyes vibrant with interest in the attractive woman.

  Edie took payment for the slice of cake and a take-out coffee from her customer, then wiped her hands on her white-apron. “So what are you enquiring about? You’ve intrigued me and have my full attention.”

  “I’m taking over as the new ranch hand at Jessie Wheeler’s ranch, Ned’s granddaughter, do you know her?”

  “Oh, yes, Jessie Wheeler. I know her from years ago when she would pop in for a candy bar after school. She would stand and stare at me for ages and then run off without a word. I have no idea why.”

  “I think it would be a good idea to have someone who has a love for horses to come out and do stable chores in exchange for riding them. It would be an unpaid job, but would be giving that person a chance to learn and experience the life on a ranch. Steve James gave me your name and said that your daughter might be interested.”

  “Oh, yes, yes, I think she would love that. She doesn’t have many friends her own age around here, so this would be a nice change for her.”

  “Is she around to talk to?” Heather asked.

  “No, not at the moment. She’s with her lazy ass father today. Oh, I’m sorry, I really shouldn’t be saying that to you. It just slips out once in a while. As you can see, I’m on my own today, it’s really hard sometimes.”

  Heather leaned over the counter and placed her hand on Edie’s arm. “I’m sure it is,” she said sympathetically.

  “Thank you,” Edie said—grateful that this stranger had recognized her situation without judging her. “Livy.”

  “Livy?”

  “My daughter’s name is Livy. Actually it’s Olivia but she’s always preferred Livy.”

  Heather gave a half-smile. “I like Livy too.”

  Edie looked out of the window. She seemed a little nervous talking to Heather but at the same time, her smile broadened passively. Her steel gray eyes gave the impression that they had experienced a lot of sadness—that of someone who had strived to work hard all of her life and given everything that she had and in return, life had chosen to ignore her needs. “Would you like another coffee? On the house of course.”

  Heather shook her cup lightly. She had drank most of her coffee, so she agreed to Edie’s offer. “I like this coffee, it has a strong rich creamy texture to it.”

  Edie took the paper cup from Heather’s hand and removed the top. She refilled it with fresh hot coffee, one sugar and three creams. As she passed the cup back to Heather, Heather grabbed it—her partial fingers overlapped Edie’s. Edie blushed. She diverted her gaze to the counter—slowly releasing her hold from the cup.

  Heather looked behind her to see if any customers were inside the shop. There was just her and Edie. Biting her lower lip, she turned her attention back to Edie. “Sooooo.”

  Edie smiled again. “This is the quietest time of the day,” she clearly informed Heather.

  “I gathered. So no one comes in?”

  Showing her shyness, Edie clasped her hands in front of her. She mimicked Heather by biting her lower lip. Heather looked around again and checked to see if anyone was walking around outside.

  “Oh, the street’s quiet. When the kids are in school, their parents are far too busy to take leisure time,” Edie eagerly pointed out. I can take an hour, maybe two, to clean and re-stock, or even take a break and read a good book.” Her hands trembled as she brushed her hair away from her face.

  “Right,” Heather said drawing out the word and nodding her head in agreement. She stepped backwards towards the door and giving one last check through the glass panel, she locked the door and turned the open sign around to closed. She turned her head slowly—her eyes locked directly on to Edie’s—both women hesitated to make a move. “I am right in thinking—?”

  “Yes.” Without giving the situation another thought, Edie dashed from behind the counter and hastily untying her apron strings behind her, she whipped it off over her head and threw her arms around Heather’s neck. “I was sat at the end of the bar last night and overheard your conversation with Jessie. I know you like women. Oh god, I would never have made a move on you if I doubted otherwise.”

  “I wasn’t sure about you. It’s never guaranteed that the vibes you think you are picking up, are actually the same vibes that the person is giving. I kind of got that wrong yesterday but this isn’t the time for a conversation.” She pulled Edie in close to her and planted a kiss on her lips. Edie submissively relaxed her stiffened stance and loosened her hold from Heather’s neck. “Are you sure you want this?” Heather asked her.

  Edie smiled playfully. “This is the reason that I left my husband. After seventeen years of marriage, bringing up our daughter and running this place, I questioned what was I getting out of life? That question made me realize that I had been missing out on so much. I didn’t love Bill and I sure as hell know that he didn’t love me. We hardly ever had sex but I found myself constantly looking at magazines with scantily dressed women and I was turned on. When I knew that, I just had to be with a woman, I ceased the chance one night when Bill was away on business and I headed off to Vancouver for a long weekend. I stayed in a hotel close to Davie Street and then bravely went drinking by myself.”

  “Oh, I’ve heard of Davie Street. That’s the gay district, isn’t it?” Heather asked.

  “Yes. I went to a club, it was filled mainly with gay men but there were lesbians there too. Well, I sat at a table by myself and drank. Then this woman walked over to me and stood with her arm touching mine. I looked up, she nodded and I followed her to the toilets. I’ve never been so sexually satisfied in my entire life, even if it was in a less than desirable place.”

  Heather kissed Edie’s neck with a light sweep of her lips. “Well I’m sure that we can do something about that today.”

  Edie hurried to unbutton her white shirt—her hands trembled as they made their way down the front and popped each button through their hole. She gave a nervous smile as she prised open the shirt and slipped the sleeves down her arms. “Oh my god, I can’t believe this is really happening to me,” she said. Her breasts were covered by a white plain bra that pushed her cleavage up and gave Heather the impression that they were quite firm for a woman of her age.

  Heather took control and shoved Edie up against the wall—her kisses were hard and fast as she planted them on Edie’s neck and chest—her one hand slipping under the bra-cup and caressing a mound of warm bare flesh, the other, finding its way under her short skirt and between her thighs. She yanked at Edie’s panties and pulled them down to her knees. Edie’s eyes widened with excitement.

  Before Heather went any further, she paused. “You are sure?”

  Edie nodded. She closed her eyes and stretched her neck—the back of her head rested against the wall. “I want this more than anything.”

  Heather’s hand moved up the inside of Edie’s firm thigh, but before she got any further, the coffee shop phone rang. Edie opened her eyes and sucked in her breath hard—holding it in, she turned her attention to the ringing phone.

  “Do you need to get
that?” Heather asked her.

  Edie let out her breath. “Yes. It might be Livy. She usually calls me when she’s on her way home.”

  “I see.” Heather whipped her hand away from Edie’s inner thigh and removed her other hand from the breast that she was caressing.

  Edie nervously brushed her hair back into place with her hands and then pulled her panties back up her legs. “I’m sorry but I do have to answer the call.”

  Heather backed away. “Yeah, sure.”

  Edie ran to the phone behind the counter and picked it up. As she spoke, she pushed her breast back inside the bra-cup and awkwardly buttoned her shirt back up while she held the receiver between her ear and her shoulder.

  Heather turned the closed sign back around to open and unlocked the door. She smiled at Edie, who was clearly talking to her daughter. Edie placed her hand over the phone mouthpiece. “Wait!” She looked worried. “Please don’t leave.”

  Heather nodded politely and then left the coffee shop…

  Chapter Six

  Heather turned into the driveway and drove up to the ranch house in her Mustang, where Jessie was sat on the porch-swing drinking a bottle of cold beer, and Blue had made himself comfortable in the shade by the front door. Dust kicked up from the car tires as Heather pulled up alongside Jessie’s truck. She got out of her car wearing her mirrored sunglasses and showing off her well-toned arms in her navy-blue razor-back-vest, her wavy brunette-hair lightly bounced over her shoulders as she walked up to the house smiling at her new boss. “Hey there. Is there a cold brewski going spare?” she asked, as she stepped up to the porch and bent down to stroke Blue. “Who’s a good boy, then,” she playfully asked.

  “Help yourself. I bought a box.”

  Heather removed her sunglasses and placed them on top of her head, doubling them up as a head band to hold her hair away from her face. “Hey, Blue. You’re looking all relaxed in the shade, aren’t you?”