Chasing Yesterday

by Shiralyn J. Lee

  He gave a light cough and then proceeded with his findings. “Gus Jackson, please stand up. You are here today pleading guilty to the unlawful death of Ned Wheeler, is that correct?”

  Gus Jackson was a quiet spoken man in his mid-forties. With his head bowed low, he nodded.

  “Speak up for the court, Mr. Jackson. I need to hear you,” the judge ordered.

  “Yes, Sir, your honour. I’m pleading guilty,” he said shamefully.

  The judge looked at the attorney who stood next to his client. “Have you explained to your client that by his plea there will be no trial as such and that under my judgment he shall serve a sentence?”

  “Yes, your honour, I have. He is fully aware of the facts,” the attorney replied.

  “Then this will be a quick hearing and I shall set his sentence today.”

  Jessie glared at Gus the whole time she was there. The judge gave his spiel about what he had read about the case and gave his thoughts on the matter. It was a simple procedure and within half-an-hour, Gus Jackson was being fed the words that he had dreaded to hear.

  “Gus Jackson, I hereby sentence you to six years imprisonment.”

  “That’s it?” Jessie snarled under her breath. “Just six years for killing a man?”

  Gus was handcuffed and led away by the deputy sheriffs. Jessie sat in her seat shaking her head in disbelief, when Kennedy, who had been sitting in the front row, approached her. “You must be so happy that this is all over and done with now. How are things going over at the ranch?”

  Jessie picked up her hat and sunglasses that she had placed down on the empty seat next to her and stood up. “Everything’s fine, Kennedy, now if you’ll excuse me, I have things that I need to attend to.” She turned and headed for the door—not holding it open for anyone behind her to walk through.

  Kennedy immediately followed her with her husband Joe in tow. “Jessie,” she called out down the hallway. “You’ve met my husband Joe.”

  Jessie didn’t look back, instead, she put on her sunglasses and waved her hand in the air. “Yes I have. Nice to meet you again, Joe,” she replied, still heading out through the main entrance without looking back.

  “We’re having a barbeque on Saturday, everyone will be there, and you should come and bring your friend with you.”

  Jessie, who had just reached her truck, opened the driver’s door and placed her foot inside. Before she got any further, she looked directly at Kennedy, who was standing on the sidewalk with her arm looped around her husband’s. Her instinct was to tell the prying buzzard to mind her own business in her personal affairs, but she knew that would just draw more attention to her and Heather. “Perhaps,” she said firmly and then climbed inside her truck and shut the door.

  “Okay, then. We’ll see you on Saturday,” Kennedy yelled and waved as her husband ushered her away.

  Jessie gave a slight nod and then started up the truck. Before she could pull away Travis crossed the street in front of her and stopped her from leaving. “Don’t be bitter, Jessie. There’s more than one life that this has affected. Look over there.” He pointed to the courthouse door. An exhausted looking woman holding a young child in her arm and another child walking by her side, had just walked out of the building. “That’s Gus’s wife and children. He had just lost his job when…when the incident happened, and that’s why he had been out drinking. Mary over there, she’s lost everything. She hasn’t been able to get a job since having those babies. Her mother passed away two years ago and her brother and his wife moved to Ontario, leaving her with no one to help out with child-care. I try and swing by her place whenever I can to help out with groceries and any heavy chores that need doing, but Mary is suffering. Just remember you’re not the only one whose been affected by all of this.”

  Jessie stuck a cigarette between her lips and lit it. Her eyes darkened as she glared at Travis and with the cigarette still between her lips, she said, “Right now I couldn’t give a crap about anyone else. It seems to be all I’m hearing about. Where’s my sympathy? Why haven’t I had any support from anyone around here, or did everyone just use my grandpa for what they could get out of him and now he’s gone, they know I won’t be such a pushover?”

  “You’re angry, Jessie, I can see that and it’s understandable but you’ve been away for years and not once did you come back and see how the old man was. He was heartbroken when you left, just remember that. And most folk in this town rallied around to make sure that he was okay. You can’t judge what you don’t know. Grow up, Jessie, before you find yourself living a lonely bitter life.”

  Jessie checked over her shoulder to see if the road was clear and then put the truck into drive. She drove away so that she didn’t have to listen to another preaching word from Travis, or anyone else.

  •••

  Heather had ridden out to the north fence, where she had found a broken post and had dug a hole around it to pull it up from the ground. She had her earphones in and her iPod playing her favorites list. The heat from the glaring sun had caused her to perspire, so she had taken her checkered shirt off and continued to work in her vest-top with her shirt tied around her waist. She hadn’t heard Jessie calling out to her as she rode Paint hard across the grass.

  Jessie reached the fence and jumped down from her horse—her actions were impulsive and aggressive as she grabbed hold of Heather’s shoulder and swung her around to face her. Heather was startled. She pulled the earphones from her ears. Without any sign of warning, Jessie gripped hold of the hemline of Heather’s vest-top and whipped it upwards, over her head.

  “You want impulsive, I’ll give you impulsive,” she said with her teeth gritted.

  Heather was unsure of Jessie’s behavior and took a step back. “You seem agitated, is everything okay?”

  “It is now!” Jessie placed her hand to the back of Heather’s waist and pulled her in close to her. “I want you, here, now!” She kissed her hard on her lips, giving Heather no chance to respond to her request.

  Heather tugged at the shirt sleeves that were tied in a knot at her waist and once undone, she threw the shirt to the ground, leaving her in just her white bra, jeans and boots. “I don’t have sunscreen on,” she joked.

  Jessie slid the bra straps from Heather’s shoulders and down her forearms, revealing her small pert breasts and fully erect nipples. “You are beautiful.” She gently guided Heather down to lay on her back and as Blue slept under the shade of the two grazing horses, Jessie found herself breaking down her own walls. She held nothing back as she made love to Heather under the blue cloudless sky and full searing sun, and the sweet smell of fresh grass as it crumpled beneath their writhing bodies.

  •••

  Heather lay on her side—her elbow pressed into the ground, with her head propped in the palm of her hand—her bra wrapped around her waist and her panties tucked inside her jeans that lay in a crumpled heap close to her feet. Her boots had been kicked off—one in standing position and the other straddled across it. The only item of clothing that she had kept on were her gray socks. “So how did the ruling go today?” she asked toying with Jessie’s hair.

  Jessie, laid on her back and gazed up at Heather. She tickled her nose playfully—her smile genuine and contented. “Not as I thought it would. He got six years for murdering my grandpa.”

  Heather rolled her eyes in disagreement with his sentence. “That sucks. Is that why you were so aggressive when you got here?”

  “Partly. I had time to think on the ride over. Things have a way of turning out, even if they were created from sadness. I met you. Jesus I had no intention of being with anyone else after Kelly. You’ve broken down my walls, do you know that?”

  Heather lowered her head and gave Jessie a light kiss. “There’s something about you, Jessie Wheeler. Something that makes me want to stick around. I had no intention either, but I feel that I could get quite used to this.” She kissed her again but this time much longer and with feeling.

  ••�
��

  Jessie stepped out of the shower. With a towel wrapped around her head and another around her body, she stepped out of the bathroom and into her bedroom, where Heather still lay in bed. “What are you reading?” she asked her.

  Heather had a book in her hands and had been engrossed in the story. With her back propped up on her pillows she lowered the book down on her lap and raised her eyes to look at Jessie. “Loving the Pink Kiss.”

  “Oh yeah, and what’s that about?”

  “A British woman who think she’s straight and is set up to marry a complete stranger, a Canadian who needs to stay in England. Only that stranger turns out to be a woman. Even after her shock, she still goes ahead and marries this woman.”

  “Sounds intriguing. Maybe I should read it when you’re done with it.”

  “Sure.”

  Jessie slid open the mirrored-closet door and searched through her hanging garments for something suitable to wear to the barbeque. “I fucking hate having to mix with people. I don’t even know why we’re bothering to go.”

  Heather got up from the bed and stood behind her. She kissed her shoulder. “Because keeping in with your neighbors is the right choice to make. These people may annoy the shit out of you but you’ve gotta hand it to them, they do know how to stick together when the need is warranted.”

  Jessie plucked a pale green button-up shirt from a hanger and held it out in front of her to look at. She turned around to face Heather. “You always know the right thing to say. How the hell did you get so educated?”

  Heather wrapped her arms around Jessie’s waist and held her close. “I’ll take that as a compliment, shall I?”

  “Oh, you know what I mean. Now get your arse ready so we can go to this damn barbeque.” She slapped Heather’s butt and then gave her a quick peck on the lips.

  “I think that shirt looks good on you,” Heather told her as she chose to put on a crisp white shirt and black jeans.”

  “Yeah?”

  “It brings out the green specs in your eyes. You should wear that color more often.”

  •••

  Before heading out to Kennedy’s barbeque, they drove into town in Heather’s Mustang to pick up a couple of bottles of wine to take with them to drink. They parked in front of Edie’s coffee shop, which happened to be on the opposite side of the road from the liquor store.

  Edie had just put on her jacket and was heading out of the door with her ex-husband who had offered to give her a ride. She caught site of Heather and Jessie as they got out of the car and crossed the street. She could hear them happily chatting away as they were oblivious to her spying them.

  “Are you ready to go?” her husband Blake asked her. He had watched her stare at the two women headed for the liquor store. His eyes narrowed and he scrunched up his nose as he sniffed hard—a bad habit of his whenever he felt threatened in a demeaning way. “Something that I should know about?”

  Edie snapped out of her stare. She turned her head to face him but her eyes were slow at looking away from Heather. “Huh?”

  “Jessie Wheeler and her friend. Should I be concerned?”

  His firm stance—placing his hands on his hips with his open jacket tucked behind them and his one hip lowered, made Edie all too aware that he was already annoyed with her. “No,” she said quietly.

  “Good, because I need to go and buy a bottle of whiskey and I don’t want to be made to feel awkward, not with her kind.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Edie asked him, surprised that he had paid so much attention to Heather and Jessie.

  He sniffed hard again. “Let’s go.” They left the coffee shop and crossed the street to the liquor store.

  Inside, Jessie and Heather had chosen their bottles of wine and made their way to the checkout. Blake stood behind them with Edie at his side.

  Heather turned around to see Edie glaring at her. “Hi, Edie.”

  Edie didn’t seem happy to see her with Jessie and looking so happy and comfortable. “I take it that you’ve been invited to Kennedy’s barbeque?” she asked Heather in a direct formal manner.

  “Yes we have,” she replied quickly.

  Blake irritably rubbed the end of his nose. “So, are you two fucking?” he whispered sarcastically.

  Jessie placed the two red and two white bottles of wine down on the counter and turned around. “What?”

  Blake, aware that he had touched a nerve, used his own insecurity as mental shield. “You two, are you…you know…doing it together?” His tongue filled the left side of his inner cheek as he showed signs of arrogance toward them.

  Heather went to step toward him but Jessie put her arm out in front of her to stop her. “It’s okay, Heather, I’ve got this,” she said confidently glaring at him.

  He sniggered loudly and then leered toward Jessie. “I always knew you were a fucking lesbian. Every time I caught you staring at my wife and then run off the second I walked in was a complete giveaway. You’re sick, do you know that? You should get some help, your friend too.”

  Edie shamefully looked at her feet the entire time, too embarrassed by Blake’s ridiculing behavior.

  The store clerk picked up the phone and called for the manager who was upstairs in her office. After being informed that there was a possible harassment going on, she immediately marched down the stairs and stood in between the two warring couples. “Just what the hell is going on, Blake?”

  “I don’t like being in the same store as two lesbians,” he mocked.

  “Then I’ll suggest you take your business elsewhere. We don’t prejudice our customers in here, so if you have any concerns regarding our policies, there’s the door behind you and don’t let it hit you in the ass as you leave,” the manager told him.

  Edie lifted her head and attempted to plead with the manager. “I’m sorry, we were, I mean Blake was just trying to protect me but you know Blake, he always seems to say things before thinking first. He didn’t mean any harm by it.”

  Blake reeled his head back. “Just who the hell made you a saint? I’m not stupid, Edie. I do know that you’ve dabbled with the likes of these dykes.”

  “Now that’s enough,” Jessie yelled at him.

  The manager pointed to the door. “I think you should leave now, Blake, before I call Travis to come and arrest you for disturbing the peace.”

  Blake shook his head and smirked wryly at Jessie. “Stay the fuck away from my wife and you can forget all about Livy helping out with your horses… What? Were you somehow planning some sort of sick grooming scheme to convert her into one of your kind?”

  “You’re sick, Blake, go get yourself some help before you cause yourself some internal damage,” Jessie told him.

  “Fuck off!” he said as he grabbed Edie’s arm and practically marched her out of the store.

  The manager, a short fat, red-haired woman, walked behind the counter and scanned the four bottles of wine. She placed them inside a brown paper bag. “I always knew he was trouble. Ever since Edie…well now, let’s not spread anymore gossip. I think enough has been said already. How would you like to pay?”

  Heather handed over her credit card. “Better get a pack of smokes too,” she said.

  •••

  Jessie, in the front passenger seat, stared at Heather as she drove the car. “He’s never acted like that toward me before. It was almost like he was jealous of us. Just what the fuck has Livy been telling him when he picks her up?”

  “Young girls are impressionable but I can’t see Livy feeding him with our personal affairs. Besides, she doesn’t even know that much about us, she’s too interested in the horses.”

  “And what was it with Edie looking sheepish as she let him just rant away like that? Jesus I’m so sick of society and straight people thinking that they can dictate to anyone who isn’t like them.”

  Heather pressed the button to open both front windows. She glanced down at the cup holder, where she’d stuck the pack of cigarettes. “Can you
light me one up?” she asked Jessie, gesturing with a quick nod toward the pack.

  Jessie’s hair blew around as the wind caught it, causing her to constantly pull strands out of the side of her mouth where it kept sticking to her lip-balm. She opened the pack and stuck two cigarettes in between her lips and cupped her hand around them to enable them to catch light. “Here,” she said, passing one over to Heather.

  “Thanks.” She drew on the white stick and exhaled the smoke, which was immediately sucked out of the window. “Do you still have a thing for Edie?”

  “God no, not like that, not anymore.”

  Heather had never been the sort of person to hold back what she was thinking and knowing that she was falling for Jessie, she had the urge to tell her what had happened between them. She slowed the car down. “There’s something that I think I should tell you.” She glanced over at Jessie. “We had a moment, Edie and I. When I first got here, you remember the day when my car needed a new tire, well, I went into Edie’s coffee shop and there was just something about her that…”

  “Stop!” Jessie said firmly—the palm of her hand facing flat toward Heather. “I don’t want to hear anymore. It’s bad enough that we have to be at the same venue as those two, let alone you telling me about some sordid sex act that you may, or may not have had.”

  “But, Jessie, it’s not like that, we didn’t do anything and when she came to the ranch and tried to get me to fuck her, I rejected her.”

  “Wait! What do you mean she came to the ranch and tried to get you to fuck her?”

  “Livy was in the stable and you were in the house. She said she wanted to talk in private so we went around the back of the stable. I was stupid enough to believe that she actually wanted to talk but I was wrong. Edie has a dark side to her, as if all of her married life her husband controlled her and now she’s free of him she is the one in control.”

  “She didn’t look so free back there,” Jessie sniped. “So you and her? Did you…”

  “No we didn’t. I just wanted you to understand that she might have said something to him about us and that could be why he went off like that in the store.”