She cut through my bullshit with a curt “I also looked well two days ago. What have you found out? Where is my son?”
And the conversation went downhill from there.
I told her what Alexei had discovered, keeping my voice as impassive as her expression. She watched me, eyes on my face as I relayed the awful details before telling her I had a potential lead on my father. Then I said the family could expect to be contacted by the local authorities informing us of the deaths, and explained how everyone should act, as well as Alexei’s efforts to protect the family.
In a soft voice, she said, “At least you were able to provide results quickly, and I want to thank you for that. Thank your husband as well. I suppose it’s good to have connections in high places.”
As I watched, it seemed like she drew in on herself, becoming smaller and more fragile. My grandmother, who carried bitterness and grudges like they were badges of honor, looked broken.
“I expected this, even while I was terrified to hear it,” she continued. “I thought if I told myself everything was fine, it would be. But deep down I knew it couldn’t be true. It makes me afraid about what’s become of Julien.”
“I’ll keep looking,” I promised. “I won’t stop until I find out what happened.”
“I know you will, and I appreciate that. We’ll have memorials once we have their bodies, or even if we don’t.” Her voice faded there and she looked like she might cry. As much as we’d never gotten along, seeing her like this broke my heart.
“Be careful,” I said into the silence. “Tell the family to be careful too. Until I can find out what’s happening, we’re not safe.”
That startled her and her green eyes went wide in the holograph interface. “I will,” she said. “I’ll spread the word to everyone here. And you’ll tell Celeste we need to watch our backs?”
Oh shit, I hadn’t even thought of that. Celeste may have pulled the Nine of Swords, but she’d ask a million questions, and now wasn’t the time or place to explain the luck gene. Even imagining how the conversation might go made my head hurt.
“Yes, I’ll tell her. We need to be smart, and we need to stay safe.”
She eyed me speculatively then. “Do the cards offer suggestions?”
“I haven’t looked,” I admitted. “I’ve been so busy and it’s been one crisis here after the other. I haven’t had time.”
“Don’t tell me my mother’s cards have become tools of One Gov.”
“No, of course not. I’m just…My life is changing. My priorities are different and I need to—”
“Is that why I’m not a great-grandmother? Did you prioritize children right out of your life?” she asked. Her tone was sharp. Funny how she’d rallied from her own sorrow by pointing out the misery in my life. Classic Grandmother. It was her go-to move—make herself feel better by belittling others.
“What? No! But there’s no rush—”
“I don’t know how things are on Mars, but you are almost twenty-seven years old. Time isn’t infinite. You can’t postpone a child indefinitely. Have you pulled the Empress yet? Has she appeared in any of your readings?”
The Empress was the card that represented pregnancy, birth, and motherhood.
“No,” I whispered, my voice breaking over the word. “I haven’t seen her.”
“Then I will try to dream a dream for you,” she said, making it sound like she could actually dream a baby into my arms. It surprised me as much as it made me want to roll my eyes. In the world of Suzette Sevigny, such an offer was a gift. To her, telling me she would dream for me was like she’d handed me enough gold notes to support myself and a dozen small countries for the rest of our lives. “I will see if there is a way to place a baby in your future.”
“Thank you. I am honored you would even consider me.”
She inclined her head imperiously, a queen addressing her subject. “You are my granddaughter. Your happiness is my life’s mission.”
Life’s mission, my ass. But I smiled and thanked her again.
“I’ll shim when I have more,” I promised.
“Of course you will. I expect to be kept up-to-date on your progress. And I advise you not to forget who you are. You’re a Sevigny. You’re not a cog for their machine or a mindless pleasure-seeker losing herself in a world that doesn’t exist. Don’t let them fool you into thinking you’re one of them.”
“They’re not monsters, Grandmother,” I said, knowing I might be in for a fight but so sick of hearing her spout the same nonsense I’d listened to for most of my life. I’d always known it was bullshit, but after Alexei’s confession, I truly believed it. If the pinnacle of genetic manipulation could feel the same fears and weakness I did, how could we be any different? “They’re people, exactly like us. We’re not better because we don’t have t-mods. We’re not more human or more pure or more real. We’re the same, all wanting the same things, and I’d appreciate it if you’d stop being so damned intolerant.”
“I didn’t raise you to be so disrespectful and rude,” she said, bristling.
“No, you didn’t,” I conceded. “But you and Granny G did teach me to be honest and stand up for what I believed in. Well, this is what I believe and I want to respectfully tell you I think you’re wrong.”
And before she could sputter out a retort, or tell me more about a baby that wasn’t going to happen, I disconnected the shim and was left staring at a blank holo-field, full of dead air the color of a dirty, rain-filled sky.
* * *
The sol continued with more meetings than I cared to remember, making me wish I’d taken Alexei’s advice and stayed home. It was an endless parade of CN-net debriefings in closed-loop conference rooms. Caleb’s assessment was correct—One Gov leadership wanted a scapegoat. And right now, the Tsarist Consortium was their target, just as Alexei had predicted. It made the meetings uncomfortable and created an underlying tension everywhere I went. I may work for One Gov, but I was connected to the Consortium too. At some point, I’d have to pick a side.
The only bright spot was the gathering in Felipe’s office to meet with the Venus team he’d assembled—me, Caleb, Wren Birdsong, and Friday Piechocki. It was a short brainstorming session sandwiched in between other meetings. The five of us met in person, which I found ironic: The team to revitalize Venus was located on Mars, and none of us were native Venusians.
When I’d worked on my initial Venus proposal to overhaul some of the service contracts in a way that saved gold notes and benefitted the people of Venus, it had just been me and my Tarot cards. I’d focused on the glaring problems no one was interested in fixing. Now that I had subject matter experts, we could dig deeper into issues I’d never even considered. And well…It was fun. We were creating something from nothing. No idea was too big to tackle or out of the question. How to deal with the earthquakes. How to handle the instability in the weather patterns. Shifting its moon. Adding another moon. Modifications to the sunshade. Opening up new mining areas. Adding more atmospheric converters. Increasing the amount of time that could be spent on the CN-net. Offering companies incentives to relocate to Venus. Easing the Shared Hope guidelines for those immigrating to Venus. Reenergizing Venus made me feel like we could do anything. I caught myself grinning at Felipe several times, excited despite myself.
Too soon, it ended. When I found myself alone with my grandfather, exhausted yet exhilarated, I almost hugged him for giving me this amazing opportunity I didn’t deserve.
“What did you think?” he asked. “Can you work with this group?”
“Of course, and I can’t wait to get started! I know it will be bumpy at first, but we can do good things for Venus.”
“I’m excited you’re excited,” he said, beaming at me. “I want to see you eager to come into work, despite whatever else is going on. Forgive me for saying it, but you’ve seemed stressed lately. I’ve been worried about you.”
My smile faltered. “I’m fine.”
“Then things are good a
t home? In the office?”
“I came home yesterday to find the Consortium running wild through my house and holding a pool party I didn’t know was happening. And my other grandmother, Suzette, has decided she wants to get back in touch after a year of not speaking. Otherwise, things are good.” So much for not lying.
“But you would tell me if they weren’t,” he pressed.
“Within reason. Don’t forget—you’re the Under-Secretary of One Gov. My husband leads the Consortium. Nobody gets the whole story out of me anymore.”
“Which must make things difficult for you.”
I’d meant it to be a joke, but when said aloud, it wasn’t the least bit funny. “I can handle it.”
“If you can’t, I want you to tell me. Sometimes I think if Tanith and I had made ourselves more available to Monique, things would have gone differently. We’d all be a family together on Earth, and these conflicts wouldn’t exist.”
“In that scenario, I wouldn’t be married to Alexei Petriv. It would certainly make things easier,” I pointed out, then wished I hadn’t.
He shrugged, an innocent expression on his face. “Perhaps, but I never said that. I just want to ensure I don’t repeat previous mistakes.”
I was about to answer when I received a ping from the CN-net. I held up a finger to Felipe, a gesture to wait, then refocused my awareness to the ping. A beat later, Alexei was in my head. Or rather, his thoughts were.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“How are you feeling?”
His deep voice came just as intimate as if he were whispering in my ear. It seemed to slide around in my brain, the Russian accent a seductive purr. In some ways, it affected me more when we spoke like this because he was right there, in my head.
“I’m fine. Sorry, I’m in another meeting and I have to present in a few minutes,” I lied. “Was there something you wanted?”
I heard his hesitation. “I’ve been informed of a problem with Ursa 3’s radiation shielding. I need to follow up or the launch may be scrubbed. The accountants are insisting I go to Olympia for a few sols to handle the details.”
The relief that shot through me almost left me boneless. “If the accountants are irritable, it’s your job to make them happy. I’ll see you when you get back.”
“When word comes out about your family members being found, I don’t want you to be alone.”
“I’ll stay with Celeste.”
“That’s not what I meant. I want to be there with you.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Felicia.” Again I heard the hesitation, as if he were casting about for the right words. “We can’t continue in this limbo where we do nothing. Don’t push me away.”
Hurt and bitter disappointment flared in me, sharp and bright. “Damn it, Alexei, what do you want me to say? I can’t discuss this with you yet. Give me some fucking time.”
“I understand.” More hesitation. I don’t think I’d ever heard him sound so uncertain on what to say next. Finally, he settled on, “We’ll discuss it when I get back.”
Before I could reply, he cut the link, leaving me aching and more broken than I realized anyone ever had. I had no idea anyone could hold so much power over me.
I opened eyes I didn’t even know were closed. Felipe was in front of me, holding out a tissue. At first, I found it odd. Then I felt my cheeks with my fingers; they were wet. I’d started crying during my conversation. I took the tissue, wiping hastily.
“Sorry. I don’t know what came over me,” I babbled, feeling stupid. “That was Alexei. He has to go out of town for a few sols. Don’t know why I’m crying like a two-year-old.”
“It’s fine,” he said. “Just know that if you want to talk, I will always be here for you.”
Then he hugged me, exactly the way a grandfather should hug his granddaughter. It was perfect, making it a wonder I didn’t cry harder. Maybe I was storing up all my tears for later for when I could cry in private.
“Thanks. Maybe I’ll take you up on that offer someday.”
“I look forward to it.” He stood back and peered into my face. “Ready for the next round of meetings with Secretary Arkell?”
The way he said it, almost but not quite rolling his eyes, made me laugh despite myself.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”
“And that’s all any of us ask. Go make yourself comfortable. I’ll see you in the conference room in ten minutes.”
“Okay. See you there,” I said, and went back to my office to settle in.
Was I ready? Hardly. But was I good at faking it? In that respect, I was one of the best. But would I be ready to face Alexei and handle this situation when he returned? I suspected there wouldn’t be enough time in the world to make me ready for that.
* * *
When I arrived home, the house was empty except for the staff and Feodor. I knew Alexei would already be in Olympia—one of the largest urban centers on Mars. It also happened to be on the other side of the planet.
I hadn’t progressed far—just inside the front foyer, so I hadn’t even seen Feodor yet—when I felt my c-tex flutter on my wrist. Even though I’d known it would happen, the shim was still unexpected when it came. Celeste’s face appeared in the pop-up window.
“Felicia, it’s terrible! You have to get over here right away.” Her voice cracked and I could see she’d been crying, her eyes red-rimmed and swollen.
“What is it, Celeste? What’s wrong?”
“They’ve found Yasmine. Her body. She…She didn’t run away. She’s dead. Someone killed her. And Tait—the MPLE think he’s dead too! Oh Felicia, this is so awful! How could this have happened?”
I let out the breath I’d been holding now that the shoe had finally dropped, and steeled myself to lie. “I don’t know, Celeste, but I’ll be right there.”
14
The next few sols were full of chaos and crying. After speaking with Felipe, who cleared me to take whatever time off work I needed, I packed some clothes, grabbed the dog, and went to stay with Celeste and her husband, Hamilton, at their trailer in Hesperia. I pitched in wherever the family needed me, wanting to make myself useful in the face of so many calamities.
Life turned into something of a circus as the MPLE descended, asking questions no one could answer. Next came the media outlets, drawn by the lurid and sensational details of two murders in one family and the connection back to Earth and the murders there. Consortium security held most outsiders at bay and turned the trailer park into an off-limits compound. I was grateful for it, though others in the family felt differently. Some didn’t like the intrusion and I felt their resentful glares, as if I’d somehow brought down a plague upon them. And then there were the attention-seeking idiots in the family who loved talking to the media and speculating wildly at the expense of others, spreading rumors the CN-net ate up like candy. I couldn’t do anything to stop them. Not even a stern talking-to from Celeste could shut them up. All I could do was take comfort in the fact their theories were nowhere near the truth.
I did Tarot readings for any shocked family member who wanted reassurance, sat with others when they wanted to cry and be consoled, and helped Celeste organize whatever sort of memorial services Yasmine and Tait’s immediate families wanted to hold. While I hadn’t been close to either of them and didn’t share the loss on the same personal level, I still grieved. I could feel sympathy for what Tait’s wife endured and understand how devastated Yasmine’s parents were. Years ago, I’d lost Granny G, and even now, it still hurt. I knew exactly what it meant to lose someone so precious and significant.
As I watched my family pull together and fumble through the pain, my grief hardened into something else. A savage anger took root that left me cold. I’d gotten angry about things in the past, throwing temper tantrums and generally cursing out the universe before settling down again. This was a different feeling. It simmered but didn’t really boil over and go away as before. It was always there, just under the surface,
ready to bubble up at a moment’s notice. Someone was hunting us like prey—all for the luck gene. We were being dehumanized and degraded, plucked up and taken, then discarded like trash. Knowing someone could do that to another person, to my family, enraged me to a degree I didn’t think I was capable of sustaining. I wondered if I should be afraid of this rage but knew there wasn’t anything I could do about it. Until I dealt with whomever was after my family, I suspected this anger wasn’t going anywhere.
When Alexei pinged me next, it was after the memorial services, late in the afternoon. With everything wrapping up, I was repacking my bags and planning to head home that evening. Tomorrow, it would be back to work and whatever passed as my new normal.
All my conversations with Alexei had been brief and sporadic, full of long pauses and silences, as if each of us was thinking hard about what we were supposed to say. Words were thoughtfully placed into sentences that, when you considered them, didn’t say anything because we were afraid of saying too much. This time, I heard frustration in his voice. Correcting the radiation shielding issue was taking more time than he thought and he was angry at himself for leaving me in this situation. He also apologized for not being there and not knowing when he’d be back. Jovisol, he thought—either late afternoon or early evening but he couldn’t be sure.
“It’s fine,” I told him. “There’s nothing you could have done. I’m not even sure me being here has made a difference. Celeste has been amazing. She’s like a rock. Everyone comes to her for everything. I’ve been her sidekick this whole time, doing whatever she tells me to do. I’m glad I was here to help, but it’s been…I don’t want to have to repeat this. Whoever did this needs to be stopped. It has to be a priority.”
“It is, and we’ll get them. It’s only a matter of time. My people found surveillance equipment in the trailer park. Someone has been watching your family and tracking their movements.”
That growing anger surged inside me. “You’re kidding.”
“Unfortunately no. We located the spyware and it’s been deactivated. My people also believe there was another abduction attempt this morning at a nearby playground where some of the children were gathered. There was a suspicious individual closing in who left before he or she could be apprehended.”
The Game of Luck Page 20