The Thing About Forever

by Michelle Engardt

  "¿Tú la que haces hermoso?" She sounded amused.

  "Do I need to dust off my Spanish?" Zyan asked.

  "No need. I'm Carol. We've seen each other before." Zyan gestured with his hand, waiting for more. "I work with Ava?"

  "Oh yeah, I remember." Zyan nodded to himself. "But that still doesn't tell me why you're here."

  "Ava told me I should knock at her floor neighbor's door if I need anything from her while she's not there," Carol said. "And," she continued after a pause, "since I need my vest back for my shift tomorrow morning and she's not answering, I thought you could let me into her place for a minute."

  "Why does she have your vest?" Zyan asked.

  "Some parent handed her his kid while they searched for change in their wallet, and then the little devil's spawn puked all over her," Carol explained. "And since it was the end of my shift, I gave her my spare clothes, but now I need them back."

  "Come on, Zyan, give me the key, and I'll get this sorted out, so you can go back to sleep," Carter said.

  Carol seemed a little surprised. "You're Zyan? I mean, I've seen you before when you picked her up from work, but I didn't know that you were Zyan."

  Zyan, who'd been facing Carter, now looked back at Carol. "Uh, what?"

  "Ava tells me about you all the time," Carol said, her face lighting up. She threw a glance at Carter before she looked back at Zyan. "Anyway. Yeah. Key. Come on. Let's go! I'll wait in the hallway!"

  Zyan watched her step back outside before he turned to look at Carter. "The key's on the dresser. Just…sort this out. I'm going back to sleep." With that, he shuffled back toward his bedroom.

  "It's 11 a.m.!" Carter called after him.

  "I don't care," Zyan replied over his shoulder. "I'm immortal! I'm allowed to sleep in when I want to!"

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Jessica

  Jessica woke up, spluttering on Ava's hair in her mouth. Why did she always sleep with an open mouth when she was drunk? Sitting up, she tried to orientate herself. She was in Ava's bedroom: that much she knew, but why had she woken up?

  Oh, yeah. Right. Voices. In the living room.

  Jessica slowly untangled her legs from Ava's and then the sheets before she swung them over the side of the bed. She reached the living room, only to find Sebastian still passed out on the couch while Carter leaned against the backrest, snapping a picture, while one of Ava's coworkers searched the room.

  "What the fuck is going on here?" The sound of her own voice made Jessica wince. She squeezed her eyes shut and massaged her temples, where the mother of all headaches was starting to form.

  Carter glanced up from his phone for only a second before he went back to fiddling with his cell. "Oh, Carol here is just searching for the vest Ava borrowed from her after a kid puked on hers."

  Jessica just nodded a little. "Okay. Sure. Have fun. I'm gonna make myself some coffee."

  "Yeah, you do that," Carter mumbled without looking up from his phone.

  Jessica was resting her forehead against the fridge's door while the coffee machine worked its magic when Carter joined her in the kitchen.

  "Carol just left," he informed her. "And she asked if we'd all like to go see that movie about the demonic child in the theater with her this evening, but I already forgot the name of it."

  Jessica nodded. "I'll talk with Ava about it when she wakes up." She continued to lean her weight against the fridge, but she turned so the contact point was now her shoulder, allowing her to face Carter. "So? How come you're here? And since when do you have a key to this apartment?"

  Carter seemed a little flustered, which lessened her headache and made her smirk a little. "I crashed at Zyan's," he mumbled.

  Jessica raised her eyebrows, feigning surprise. "Oh, really?"

  Carter shrugged. "Nothing happened. We talked about…stuff, and then I slept on the couch. He went back to sleep after we sorted out the thing with Carol."

  Jessica wiggled her eyebrows despite the headache. "Still, this is progress, my friend. You guys will be smooching again in no time."

  Carter rolled his eyes. "I'm not just doing this for…that. I want us to get back on the same page again."

  "You'll get there," Jessica reassured him. "Just don't forget: communication is key. And don't let him get away with any type of shitty behavior."

  "Yeah, yeah. I'll leave all of you guys to your hangovers while I get this key back to Zyan."

  "Of course," Jessica said. She watched Carter until he opened the front door. "Kiss Zyan good morning for me!"

  "Ew!"

  "That's not what I meant and you know it!" Jessica winced at the stabbing pain in her skull. "Don't forget to eat something."

  Jessica felt the bile rise in her throat at the mere thought. In the adjoining room, the front door fell shut.

  *~*~*

  When Ava and Zyan arrived at the movie theater that evening, Jessica, Carter, and Carol were already there, waiting in front of the building for them. They'd asked Sebastian to come as well, but he had plans with some of his old friends from college.

  When Jessica spotted Ava's car being eased into the parking spot across the road, she walked over to greet her. But before she could speak up, she was met with Zyan's voice through the rolled-down car windows.

  "Can I wait in the car?" he asked, still facing Ava, which meant he hadn't spotted Jessica yet.

  Ava laughed, which had Jessica smiling too There was something inherently funny about seeing a two-centuries-old man slide down in his seat and ask such a childish question.

  "No," Ava replied, her eyes still sparkling with amusement. "Now, move your butt, and be glad that you're not still half-hungover like me."

  "That's your own fault. You should know your limits by now—especially after the incident with that bicycle guy."

  "You mean Marty?"

  "Do I look like I would bother to remember his name?" Zyan asked.

  "I'm surprised you even bother to remember mine."

  "That's because I care about what happens to you."

  "I'm touched," Ava replied. "Now get out of the car."

  Zyan sighed and grumbled to himself as he opened the door and stepped out into the heat, coming face-to-face with Jessica, who'd stopped a foot away from the car. He looked startled for a second before he walked around her.

  "Don't take too long, or we'll miss the scintillating commercials," he said in passing before crossing the road.

  Jessica looked after him for a second before turning to face Ava, who was looking up at her with a wide smile. "Hey, you."

  "Hey," Jessica replied.

  Ava smiled again as she pushed onto her toes and pressed their lips together.

  "Do you think he's gonna be grumpy all day?" Jessica asked, once Ava had lowered herself back down.

  "He'll probably be singing to himself about his hatred for the world and humanity for a while," Ava replied. "You know, he tends to do that sometimes, but I think it'll be fine. Carter's here, which I'm sure will lift his spirits."

  "Okay, then," Jessica said while Ava locked her car.

  They crossed the road, fingers entwined, and approached the small group gathered by the theater entrance. Carter was currently nudging Zyan with his elbow repeatedly, despite Zyan telling him to stop, while Carol watched them with a confused expression.

  "We should get our tickets now," she said, once everyone was within earshot. "The movie starts in twenty minutes."

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Zyan

  "How do people end up in relationships?" Carol asked.

  They were sitting on a bench near a small lake. Ava and Jessica had separated from their group to flip rocks across the lake's surface, which left Zyan and Carter stuck with Carol. Or rather, Carol stuck with them. They barely knew each other, and their conversational buffers were off having fun by themselves. It felt a little awkward, at least to Zyan.

  "I mean…how do they get the world to work in their favor like that?"


  "Luck," Carter said. Zyan could feel his shrug where their shoulders were pressed together.

  Zyan continued to observe the couple—the way the wind brushed through their long hair as cherry blossom petals swirled through the air. It looked like a scene out of one of those Japanese cartoons Ava loved to watch when she was sick. Normally, Zyan wouldn't bother going to a park, but no one else had wanted to end their time together so soon, leaving Zyan to either make the two and a half hours walk home or join them. Needless to say, he'd settled on the latter.

  But where Ava had immediately headed for the lake to search for frogs and nice rocks to skip, he, Carter, and Carol had claimed a bench for themselves. Jessica had stayed with them at first but had gotten up to join Ava within a couple of minutes.

  "You'll find a person that fits you eventually," Carter added, after a few seconds of silence.

  "What about you guys?" Carol asked. "Are you bitter singles like me?"

  Carter sounded unsure when he answered. "Uh, yeah…not bitter…but, yes, single."

  Zyan could see Carol lean forward in his peripheral vision. She was looking at him, but he kept his hands in his hoodie pockets and kept facing ahead. "What about you?"

  "Same boat as him."

  "Are you okay?" Carol asked. "You look irritated."

  "Sorry, I'm just tired. I didn't get too much sleep tonight."

  "Did you party with the lovebirds?"

  "No. I don't do alcohol."

  "Bad experience?" Carol asked.

  "No, nothing like that."

  Carol dropped the subject. "Well, how about we keep going and give the girls some privacy? We can just come circle back and have them rejoin us again."

  "Sounds good," Carter said.

  Zyan merely shrugged.

  Carol jumped to her feet. "I'll go tell them."

  Zyan watched her approach them. It was strange, seeing Ava and Jessica with their soft smiles, the light in their eyes, and that air of intimacy that made it seem like they existed in some other plane, where no one could reach them. He could remember what it was like to be in that place himself. On his bad days, he allowed himself to miss it.

  "Hey, you two lovebirds!" Carol interrupted them. Ava and Jessica both shifted their attention to her, but the happy, wide smiles never wavered. "The boys and I were talking about going for a walk. If you don't mind, we'll just circle back in about thirty minutes to pick you up."

  "Oh, yeah—sure!" Ava took a small step away from Jessica. "I hope the guys are behaving and treating you nicely."

  Zyan couldn't see Carol's face, but she sounded like she was smiling. "Yeah, no worries."

  Zyan stopped eavesdropping and turned to look at Carter. "How can you look so awake? You can't have gotten more sleep than me."

  Carter shrugged. "I'm a naturally energetic person, I guess. And I ate a ton of sugar while you were in the shower. You're out of Oreos, by the way."

  Zyan elbowed him in the ribs, but all he got was cheerful laughter that made his stomach flutter.

  "Come on, let's start walking," Carter suggested after a peaceful moment of silence. His fingers wrapped around Zyan's wrist before he got up and gave it a tug. "Carol will just have to catch up when she's done chatting."

  Zyan nodded and pushed to his feet, relishing in the small point of contact.

  Carter didn't let go immediately. His hand lingered as they approached the closest path and only fell away when a jogger came up behind them. Zyan hoped the small flare of disappointment didn't show on his face.

  "So," Carter started after they'd been following the path long enough for the jogger to disappear from sight. "Carol seems nice."

  "And lonely."

  Carter didn't deny it. "Well, it's understandable."

  "I suppose."

  "I mean, Jess and Ava really seem to have found each other, and she's clearly happy for them. But…if she's been single for a long time and not by her own choice, it could be hard for her to see them this way. She clearly craves a loving relationship, but finding the right someone who is also willing and available is out of her hands."

  "Mmhm." Zyan could sense Carter's gaze on him but refused to let his emotions show. He wasn't about to show how lonely he'd been when the person who had made him feel that way was right there next to him, prying for a reaction.

  Carter looked back ahead with a sigh. "Look, Zyan, I know you're not a big fan of talking it out, but if there's still something bothering you, something I should know, or help could you understand, or—"

  "Hold up, guys!"

  Zyan grabbed hold of Carter's wrist to force him to stop. "The mortal," Zyan said, part of him glad for the interruption.

  Carter groaned and rolled his eyes. Zyan wasn't sure whether it was at Zyan's choice of words or Carol's intruding, but the moment Carol reached them, his happy-go-lucky self was back.

  They continued walking, though at a slower pace, for Carol's sake. They made their way toward the park's center, where a large fountain was placed in midst of a colorful flowerbed. As they got closer, more and more people started to pass by—families, couples, friends, and people babbling into their Bluetooth earpieces all roamed the place. Zyan caught snippets of conversations every few steps.

  When the fountain came into sight, he saw a large crowd gathered around it, or rather, gathered around the person strumming a guitar right in front of it. They were singing their heart out. Their voice was strong and the song distinctly familiar, but from where he was standing, the singing was drowned out every time the chorus kicked in and the audience's loud singing and arrhythmic clapping increased in volume.

  "I'm not a fan of crowds," Zyan muttered.

  "And why is that?" Carol asked.

  "People are stupid. And noisy."

  "Valid reasoning."

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Zyan

  A couple of days later found Zyan and Carter standing out on Carter's balcony. Jessica had called earlier to announce she and Ava wouldn't stay the night in her hometown as planned, but would return late that night instead because of an 'incident.'

  It was already one in the morning, and so far, there had been no sign, text message, or call from either of them. Zyan wasn't sure what to conclude from that, but Carter didn't seem all that concerned yet, so Zyan took his cue from him and kept speculation to a minimum.

  "Do you ever wonder who we'd be if we were born in today's age?"

  Zyan threw Carter a glance before he looked back at the city's skyline. "Sometimes."

  "And?" Carter prompted. He nudged Zyan's side. "You gotta give me more than that."

  Zyan chuckled. "I don't know. I can't picture it. You saw me when we first met. Now, put that person into an office and give him a Facebook page and you'll probably have a vague idea."

  "You'd basically be John Cho in that show Selfie." Zyan laughed. "Admit it! That's exactly what you'd be like! No parties, no fun outings with friends. The most exciting part of your day would be what you ate for dinner!"

  "Now, that part may be true—"

  "May?"

  "—but I'd probably be all over my phone to avoid talking to my colleagues."

  "You sure about that?" Carter teased. "'Cause I've seen your social media, and that's not how you're supposed to use it."

  "What are you talking about?" Zyan feigned offense. "That's exactly what it's there for!"

  "You post three times a month, and it's all news coverage!"

  "And yours is just a business account!"

  Carter shrugged. "I own a record label. What did you expect?"

  Zyan pursed his lips as he thought it over. "Cute baby animals?"

  Carter chuckled. "Tempting, I'll admit. Feel free to tag me if you see any."

  "I'll keep it in mind." Zyan let the conversation trail off and took a few deep breaths of the fresh night air. Their hemisphere was doused in darkness, and though people should have been in their homes, readying themselves for bed, the noise of the city hadn't died down.

>   "Do you ever miss living in the countryside?"

  Zyan cocked an eyebrow as he looked at Carter. "Did you develop superpowers you're not telling me about?"

  Carter laughed. "No, but I swear I'll tell you if that ever happens."

  "You better!" Zyan let his gaze wander back to the neon signs so eager to drown out the stars. "And yeah, I do. I've thought about moving, but Ava's life is here, and I won't leave her unless she wants me to."

  "I get it."

  Zyan's fingernail scraped across the flaking paint of the balcony railing. "And now, you're here, and you've built your life in this city, too, so…it seems like I'm here to stay."

  Carter was quiet for the longest time. "Are you happy?"

  Zyan froze before he wet his lips. "Wow. That's what I call a loaded question."

  "I'm serious, Zyan."

  Silence fell as Zyan allowed himself to genuinely mull over an answer. A light breeze had picked up and ruffled his hair. "Honestly? I'm not sure. There'll always be something I worry about, something that gnaws at me, that keeps me awake every other night, but I'm…content. And that's more than I thought I could have in a long time." He looked over to find Carter nod to himself.

  "I'm glad."

  "What about you?" Zyan asked. "Are you happy?"

  "I think so, yeah. And after a long time of being just okay, I think that's a nice change of pace."

  "What changed?"

  Carter tilted his head to meet Zyan's gaze. "I think you already know the answer to that."

  Zyan held his breath. His heart was thrumming in his chest in a matter of seconds. He knew he should say something, should return the sentiment, but the words wouldn't come to him, and Carter didn't seem to expect it of him, either.

  Carter's lips tugged up into the hint of a smile before his gaze met the horizon once more.

  Zyan used the opportunity to calm his heart and breathing.

  "I'm surprised Jess or Ava haven't called or texted yet." Carter said it with such ease, as if he hadn't just bared his heart.

  Zyan cleared his throat. "Yeah. Strange."

  "I'm almost one-hundred percent sure Jess's homophobic mother is the reason for their early departure."