With a sigh, Julie edged into a narrow row and made room for her sister and best friend.
“So tell us.” Hannah leaned to peer past Faith. “How did he react when you threw your arms around his neck and told him you were madly in love with him?”
Julie rolled her eyes. “Oh, yeah. Like that’s going to happen.”
“Why not? He did kiss you. Everybody who was there said it was very romantic.”
“He was teasing,” Julie argued. “That’s hardly the same as sweeping me off my feet.”
“It would work for me,” Faith chimed in. “I haven’t had a great kiss since…” She waved her hands in front of her face. “Never mind.”
All three young women were laughing. The celebratory atmosphere at the rodeo contributed to their elation, of course, but Julie had an even better reason to be joyful. Ryan was back. He would win. He would keep competing and therefore would stay for the next three days at least.
Was that long enough for her to gather the courage, change her mind and explain how she felt about him? Would he be in the mood to listen to the plans she’d formed and agree to give their budding relationship a fair chance to bloom?
Naturally she would have preferred that they have a slow, sensible courtship instead of a rushed one. But that was not how this situation was turning out and, if she truly trusted God for her future, it was wrong to question His methods—or His results.
She momentarily closed her eyes and said a quick prayer for Ryan. And for herself. If the Lord’s decision did not include Ryan’s expression of mutual love and a promise of commitment, she didn’t know how she’d react. It was going to be a struggle for her to accept less with grace and proper gratitude.
Chapter Seventeen
Scoring started from zero when the rodeo resumed for the third weekend. Ryan placed second in bareback on his first ride, missing the win by only half a point and making up the difference in the second round. There were so many rodeo champions and celebrities behind the chutes, TV and radio sportscasters kept shoving microphones in the face of any cowboy who didn’t dodge them.
He agreed to give a short interview between bareback and saddle-bronc riding, allowing himself to be accosted only so he could also say hello to Carla and her friends in Bozeman. He’d meant to phone her between events, but in his hurry to get to the arena he’d left his phone in his truck and didn’t have her number memorized. It had occurred to him to send Julie back to the truck for his cell since she already had the keys, but he didn’t see her.
Things were moving along so fast he had little time to worry and none to waste searching the stands for her. He did scan the box where dignitaries and TV personalities sat. A few of the Shaws were in attendance, including the mayor. Julie had apparently chosen to sit elsewhere.
He didn’t spot her again until after his second saddle-bronc ride. The saddle was slung over his shoulder and he was standing there, wondering how he was going to get into his locked truck to get his bull rope, when she appeared.
The keys jingled as she held them up. “Looking for these?”
“Yes. I wondered where you’d gone.”
“I was in the stands with Faith and Hannah. You made some really great rides.”
“Thanks. It’s still close for the overall championship. There’s a lot of talent here this weekend.”
“We won’t really know until Sunday night, will we?”
“Not unless one of us runs away with the points total before then. The way things are shaping up, it looks as if it may be decided on the final rides.”
“Makes it more exciting for the fans.”
Ryan had to agree. “For us riders, too, although I can’t say I’d mind having a bigger lead than anybody else by then. That last bull is always the most nerve-racking, not counting the bonus-money ride for whoever wins.”
He noticed her beginning to frown. “What’s wrong?”
“I kind of thought you might bring your mom back with you. I’d like to meet her.”
“I did invite her. She said she likes to watch the action on television so she gets instant replays.”
“I can understand that. All I did was blink and I missed one of your get-offs.”
“At least I landed on my feet every time tonight.”
“That is a plus.”
She was smiling again and her blue eyes were twinkling. Oh, how he was going to miss her when he hit the road again. He loved—liked—so much about her, from her pretty auburn hair to the tips of her dusty cowboy boots.
It was the kindness, the tenderness, in her expression that touched him the most, he realized. He’d thought the main attraction was her quick wit and loveliness, but there was much more to Julie than that. Now that he’d returned and was with her again, he could feel a difference that was almost palpable. Exactly what that change might be and how it had come about was a puzzle that had no easy solution.
Keep your mind on your riding or you’ll be sorry, he warned himself. There was a right time and a wrong time to make his position clear to Julie. In the middle of an important competition was definitely the wrong time to be dealing with volatile emotions, hers or his own.
He would eventually speak his mind, Ryan vowed. And when he did, he’d try to let her down easy. He’d be diplomatic, speak sensibly and reason with her. She’d be fine in the long run. He knew she would be.
And, without a doubt, he also knew that he would not be okay. Not even close. He simply refused to walk in his father’s footsteps and fool himself into believing he could settle down in one place and find happiness. The more he cared for Julie, the more she reminded him of Carla and the struggles she’d faced because she’d foolishly fallen in love with a roving cowhand.
The most loving thing Ryan could do for Julie was bid her a fond goodbye and drop out of her life, so that was what he’d do. For her sake. Even if it broke his heart.
* * *
Julie wasted little time checking on the way her father chose to spend the evening. Why would she when Ryan was front and center? He finished his last bull ride beautifully, earning ninety points and outdoing every other rider.
To her chagrin, that score drew hordes of reporters and TV cameras as well, keeping her at bay until the furor died down.
He loved competing. She could see it in his expression, in his proud posture and the competent way he spoke to the interviewers. There was no way she could take this from him unless he voluntarily offered to change his schedules and compete nearer to her, at least long enough for their romance to develop.
Julie sobered. If she spoke up and confessed her love, he might think she was trying to manipulate him into quitting. Although that would simplify her life, she knew it would be wrong to even hint at. The decision to continue to see her had to come from him—before she offered to follow him when he traveled—or she would never be certain of his true feelings.
Coercion was wrong. She knew that. It was just that keeping her love for him to herself was terribly difficult.
By the time Ryan finally broke away and rejoined her, he was obviously exhausted. She looped her arm through his. “Tired?”
“That’s an understatement.”
“Then you probably should go get some rest.”
“You trying to get rid of me?”
Julie could tell he was slightly put off in spite of his lighthearted facade. “Not at all. I thought maybe we could meet at Great Gulch Grub tomorrow for a late breakfast. That will give me time to do my chores early.”
“I could bring breakfast to your place again,” he offered.
“I know. And I appreciate the offer, it’s just that…”
“Your father won’t appreciate it.”
“There is that. And I think we’d be more comfortable if we didn’t have to worry about anybody dropping by t
he house and interrupting. If we can’t find a quiet booth in a corner, we can always go outside to talk and sit in one of our trucks.”
“You’re starting to sound really serious. Is something wrong that you haven’t told me?”
“No, no. Everything’s good. I just want some peace and quiet so you can tell me all about your visit with your mother. Was she glad to see you?”
“Oh, yeah. You probably noticed that I extended my stay and hung around Bozeman for a few extra days.”
“I had wondered what became of you.”
“Why didn’t you call me if you were worried?”
Julie rolled her eyes. “Why didn’t you call me if you were worried that I was worried?”
“Because I wasn’t worried,” Ryan replied with a satisfied-looking grin. “Did you expect me to be?”
“Of course not.”
“Well, then, we’re all right. Right?”
“Right.” She tried to think of another play on words and failed, so she simply stayed beside him until they reached his red pickup.
Ryan stowed the last of his gear in the back. “So what time?”
“Huh?”
He chuckled, his eyes sparkling in the twilight. “Saturday-morning breakfast. It was your idea, remember? What time shall we meet?”
“Oh. Let’s say eight, if that’s not too late for you.”
“That’ll be fine.”
As soon as he’d slammed the door to the camper shell, he stepped back and shoved his hands into his pockets, clearly demonstrating no desire to hug or kiss her goodbye, much to Julie’s chagrin.
She assumed a casual pose in self-defense. “Okay, then. We’re all set. Have a good night.”
“You, too.”
It was all she could do to stand still instead of throwing herself into his arms. If Ryan had not turned away and circled to the driver’s side of his truck at that moment, she feared she might have embarrassed them both.
The engine hummed. He shifted. Started to drive away.
Julie felt rooted to the spot. Unsure. Disappointed. And wondering if she had been misreading him all along.
“Well, what if I was?” she grumbled. “At least my pride is intact.”
A lot of good her pride would do her if Ryan kept to his previous plans and hit the road after the last night of the rodeo. Surely he must know how she felt about him. After all, they had shared that amazing kiss.
The mere thought of it gave her the shivers. If that man was even a tenth as impressed as she was, there was no way he’d ride off into the sunset like the hero in an old Western movie.
She had to smile at that notion. There was a lot about Ryan that reminded her of the old-fashioned morals and habits she’d grown up with. He was a real gentleman, a person she was proud to call a friend and not a bit shy to be seen with. The way he’d stepped right into her daily routine and helped with the sheep had been amazing. Yes, he could be a tease, but there was no rancor in his wit. On the contrary, he made her feel accepted. Loved.
Loved? Not exactly. He may have kissed her in public, but after that she’d gotten the impression he was avoiding her as much as possible.
It probably didn’t help that her father had made him feel about as welcome as a skunk at a church picnic, she reasoned, chagrined. Well, there wasn’t anything she could do about that except pray that her family mellowed, particularly the male contingent. Adam had seemed okay with her interest in Ryan, but Cord and Austin were more ambivalent. And, of course, there was always Dad. Jackson Shaw had a well-practiced icy stare that could freeze a lake in July.
Which was almost over, Julie realized, counting the remaining days. The month had raced by since she’d first noticed Ryan at the parade. That encounter sometimes seemed a lifetime away. Other times it felt as if it had happened yesterday. She knew a lot about him. She also had to admit that there must be a million important details she had yet to discover.
The question was not what those facts might be. It was whether Ryan was going to give her a chance to learn them.
Faith was waiting by Julie’s truck when she returned to it. “So how did it go? I saw you two walk off together.”
“He was tired. He went home.”
“Well, that’s certainly disappointing. Did he say anything special?”
“Like what?”
Her sister rolled her eyes. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe that he’d missed you or was crazy about you.”
Making a face, Julie shook her head. “Nope. Nothing like that. Unfortunately.”
“Did you give him a chance? I mean, you weren’t hanging out behind the chutes the way you used to.”
“Only because I didn’t want to be a distraction. This last weekend is very important to all the riders and ropers.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it. I just don’t want to see you let him leave Jasper Gulch without telling him how you feel.”
“I don’t know that myself.”
“Yes, you do. Admit it. You’re in love with him.”
“What if I am? I don’t intend to commit to him before I’m certain he’s ready. I’ve seen a lot of women throw themselves at rodeo cowboys. I don’t want him to think I’m like them.”
“He sure won’t as long as you keep beating around the bush, little sister. Would it hurt you to flirt just a little? Huh?”
“I don’t know how to turn my feelings on and off like a faucet,” Julie replied. “And I wouldn’t want to try, even if I thought I was good at it. The best times Ryan and I had were when we kicked back, enjoying each other’s company. Now that I care so much, it’s like I’m brain-dead and tongue-tied.”
“Now, there’s an interesting picture. I don’t suppose you want me to take him aside and wise him up?”
“No!” Julie realized belatedly that she was shouting and muted the rest of her response. “No, no, no. I’ve made up my mind to wait until Ryan speaks up first. If I tell him I love him, that will put him in an impossibly difficult position unless he feels the same about me.”
“Looks to me like he does.”
“I’m not so sure.” She was slowly shaking her head as she folded her arms across her chest. “There were times I thought so, but since he came back from seeing his mother he’s acted distant.”
“That you could ask him about, couldn’t you?”
“Yes. And I will. Tomorrow morning we’re meeting for breakfast and I’m going to bring it up then.”
Faith reached out and hugged her sister, then bid her good-night. “Okay. Be good. I’ll talk to you after you and the love of your life have had a chance to chat.”
“He is, you know,” Julie said wistfully.
“I really hope so,” her sister said in parting. “For your sake.”
“Me, too,” Julie murmured.
* * *
Being a weekend morning and given all the tourists in town, Ryan wondered if they were going to get a table in the café before lunchtime. He’d arrived early and grabbed a back booth the moment one was available, hoping that Julie would figure out where he was and venture inside instead of waiting for him on the sidewalk.
When he saw her come through the door and look around the room, he rose and waved.
Watching her already pretty face brighten the moment she spied him made his own heart pound. He knew his grin was so wide it must look silly, but he couldn’t help himself. He stood, waiting, and saw Julie pause to speak to a studious-looking young woman. To his chagrin, they approached the booth together.
“This is Robin Frazier,” Julie told Ryan. “The researcher I told you about.”
He shook her hand, hoping she didn’t intend to join them. “My pleasure.”
“How’s your work going?” Julie asked her.
“Fair. I’m still looking for more pe
rsonal information about the town’s founding. Your family wouldn’t happen to have an album I could look at, would they?”
“Not one that goes back that far,” Julie replied.
“How about family folklore? Anything that pertains to the old-time families? You must have heard stories growing up.”
“I can’t say I remember anything unusual,” Julie said. Ryan noticed that she was beginning to frown and hoped the other woman would back off soon.
With a sigh, Robin nodded. “Well, be sure to keep me in mind if you think of any.” She looked to Ryan, nodded and said, “Pleased to meet you,” before taking her leave.
As soon as Julie was seated, he asked, “Is that woman always so persistent about her work?”
“I hadn’t really noticed it before. She did seem overly nosy, didn’t she?”
“Sure did. Makes me wonder what she’s up to.”
“Probably just dedicated.”
“If you say so.” Ryan poured her a cup of hot coffee from the carafe on the table.
“Thanks. You think of everything.”
“I have to confess. The pot was Mert’s idea. She said it would save her steps, but I think she was being nice and hated to admit it.”
“Probably. She and Rusty really sound like a couple of curmudgeons when they tease each other, but you’ve gotta love ’em.”
“Speaking of the old guy, I haven’t seen him lately. Is he okay?”
“Far as I know. I think patrolling the parking lots at the fairgrounds is harder on him than he likes to admit. He’s been putting in long hours. I imagine he’s sleeping late when he can.”
“I slept in, too,” Ryan said as he stirred cream into his coffee and offered the container to Julie. “Sorry you had to get up so early to do chores. You should have let me come and help you again.”
“Not this week. It’s too important. You need to save your energy for riding.”
“You’re probably right. That’s another reason my mom decided to stay in Bozeman. She said I needed to keep my focus on the rodeo.”
Her Montana Cowboy Page 17