Her eyes softened at Samael’s chin, raised high, and the look of determination in his eyes. “I’m sorry I judged you, my Warrior.” She clasped his hand and drew it to her lips. “Please forgive me, for in my haste I forgot that balance in all things must prevail. Lilith deserves to be loved completely, in all its fullness and many facets.”
Her answer astonished me, but it all made sense. Mercy shared a higher love with me, Lucifer taught me self love, and Samael...well, Samael fulfilled my desire to feel a man inside me and express myself in his arms.
“In our squabbles, we’re forgetting our brother needs our help,” Mercy said, changing the subject.
Samael’s eyes softened and he wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders, squeezing her gently against him. “Yes, we must think of Lucifer,” he agreed.
“Let’s look for him again,” I offered, relieved that they were no longer quarrelling.
“It’s best for you to stay in the cave and let us look for him.” Samael motioned around the area “We can fly overhead and search much easier than on foot.”
Reluctantly, I agreed, although he’d never left me alone for more than a very short time. Fear claimed me, freezing my smile and putting a furrow between my brows at the thought of losing his protection, if even for a little while.
“I’ll stay with Lilith while you search.” Mercy pointed at Samael and clasped my hand, the familiar warmth of her love eased my fears.
“Very well,” Samael said, embracing us and kissing Mercy’s head before he pulled me into his kiss.
If the situation at hand wasn't so important, I’d have lingered and held him to me longer, but I broke away from his embrace. “Be careful,” I warned before he flew into the air in search of our beloved Lucifer.
Mercy’s gaze wandered around the cave that Lucifer and I had shared, and now functioned as my new home with Samael. Nervous energy prickled through me as she looked at me directly. I fidgeted, shuffling my feet from side to side. Although she’d agreed to let Samael—and Lucifer, if he ever came back—love me as they saw fit, I feared she had more to say on the subject with Samael’s presence safely out of sight.
“Did I disappoint you?” Heat flushed my face, but to my surprise, I didn’t hang my head. Rather, I faced her squarely and searched her eyes. When she didn’t answer me, resolve set in my bones. “I have a right to love and be loved.” My words came out in a rush, then I paused before continuing. “As I see fit.”
As much as I loved her, I wouldn’t be controlled anymore. Not by man, nor angel. I turned from her and crossed my arms over my breasts at her quiet rejection.
A light energy of pure affection bristled at the back of my head as she drew nearer to me. I leaned into it and closed my eyes. Mercy’s hands brushed over my arms sending shivers of innocent ecstasy rolling through me, and I swayed with the current of love between us before I fell backwards into her chest.
The bond between Samael and I came from a source of raw passion. He stirred feelings in me invoking desire and fulfilment, and Lucifer made me feel strong and competent, but Mercy allowed me to feel as if I were pure again. New. Thoughts of sexual desire and passion drained from my mind and body with her touch. Higher planes of love and acceptance permeated through her, and she turned me toward her.
“You haven’t disappointed me.” Her tone fluttered through my brain playing on my nerves, soothing their nervous energy.
Soft lips grazed my mouth as we came together in a kiss of allegiance.
“I am with you always,” she murmured, pouring her affection over me. Her lips pressed against my cheeks, and I closed my eyes again as she peppered my eyelids with kisses, flooding my entire body with her rapturous sentiment.
“You must eat,” she said, breaking away from me and examining my body. Twirling me slowly, she frowned. “I see you and Samael have been too busy in your affection for you to eat properly.” But she smiled as she teased me.
“Yes, that much is true.” I giggled at my confession.
“Then I’ll feed you because Samael, in his greedy lust for you, has forgotten your basic care,” she warned. “He and Lucifer always love fiercely and now they’ve discovered this new form of love”—she clasped my face between her hands—“I dare say if I don’t care for your well being, you won’t have the energy to meet their...” She blushed a little, flushing her cheeks a pale red and her hair a shade lighter as she stumbled on her words. “Their ardor...passion...their demands. Before they devour you completely.”
Heat gathered in my chest and coiled down by body as I contemplated her words. The sheer thought of their lust and love for me gripped me with anticipation, just as their ravishing touch devouring me made me weak with desire, and I swayed a little.
“You see? You must eat!” she laughed as she steadied me. “First, though, rest!” she ordered, “while I gather some food for us.” Then she guided me toward the bed.
As I watched her turn back and flash a brilliant smile at me before she left, excitement prickled through me. A flood of energy rushed along my nerves, and I thought better of resting, for in this state of anticipation, my mind reeled in contemplation of my new life with my precious angels...and having both Samael and Lucifer in my bed.
In my restlessness I decided to catch up to Mercy and collect some food with her, but I couldn’t find her. As I turned around to return to the cave, a rustling sound in the bushes caught my attention. For a moment my vision faltered as my eyes adjusted to what could be an impending threat. I crouched low and remained perfectly still, listening.
A low whining sound came from the underbrush as if an animal were in distress. Compassion flooded through my heart as I made my way closer to inspect the shrubbery. A whitetail deer lay on the ground on its side, its belly swollen. As I drew nearer, careful not to be seen, or disturb it the deer lifted its leg and moved its head downward. Flabbergasted, I watched as a small creature in the larger deer’s image emerged from the opening between her legs. How is this creature like the Creator? It brings forth life!
Fear crept over me as a prickling sensation flooded my limbs and I took off running back to the cave. How is this possible? In all the time I’d dwelled in the garden I’d never seen life created before. I couldn’t fathom that the deer that roamed about could be like the One in the Heavens and create new life. Only He creates life.
I burned to know the answers to this confusing mystery, and curiosity outweighed my fears. Turning on my heels, I strode from the direction of the cave to search for the answers from Mercy or Samael. Eventually, I began to run aimlessly, desperation leading me one way then another until I simply turned my head in all directions, hoping to find them. I had to know how all of this was possible.
As I approached the Pool of Life, voices stopped me in my tracks. At the sight before me, I dropped to my knees and prostrated myself, planting my face in the ground. My breath labored as quick gasps drew dirt and dust into my nose.
Before me, in all His glory, stood the Creator of the Heavens and Earth.
He turned His gaze toward me, and I buried my face straight down into the dirt again, shielding my eyes from His burning glow.
“I’ve been waiting for you Lilith,” His voice boomed out.
My ears ached as His voice rattled though me, and I clutched them in pain.
“Please don’t harm her,” Lucifer pleaded. “I beg of you! She can’t withstand Your presence in this state.” His voice wavered.
“Silence.” He roared.
My mind teetered on the brink of fracture in the presence of His glory and wrath, and I pressed my hands tighter to my head.
Lucifer was here—and the Creator!
And I feared His intentions were to put an end to us both, once and for all.
To my relief, His overwhelming energy drew away from me, and I scrambled to my feet and hid underneath a bush, coiling myself into a ball. Hot tears of fear and awe rolled from my eyes.
“You cannot hide from me, my child,” He s
poke as if He were right next to my ear, yet when I had the courage to look around, I sat alone in my huddle under the bush.
Stunned, I wiped the tears from my eyes in an effort to have courage in the face of our Creator and stand firm in my actions that had displeased Him.
“Why do you care for my angels when Adam is your true match?” The voice sounded in my head, coming from nowhere and everywhere at the same time, as if I couldn’t escape it no matter where I ran.
Turning my gaze downward I took several deep breaths to ready myself against His wrath in the face of my answers, yet I didn’t know what to say and sat in trepidation, remaining silent.
You are free to love
Samael’s words flooded my brain, and I dug my heels into the dirt curling my toes downwards as if to dig the courage from the ground below me up through my mouth.
“You never told me I couldn’t love them.” I faltered, not knowing how to address the Creator. Lucifer and Samael called Him their Father, so I, too, dared to say these words.
“I have cared for all of your creatures, the birds, the animals, the smallest of insects and...yes, even your angels, my…my Father,” I stammered.
“But not for Adam,” He chided. “When your instructions were to be fruitful and multiply, you did neither.”
Be fruitful and multiply.
The deer had multiplied. The Creator’s words saturated my brain in waves of horror at the thought of Adam’s seed growing inside me. Sheer terror caused my stomach to revolt in sharp pains of nausea. Not only did the Creator expect me to allow Adam inside my body, but He expected me to foster his seed.
Adam’s seed!
I lurched forward and spilled the contents of my stomach onto the ground, bringing me temporary relief.
“I will not! I will run away from this garden.” I whispered my pledge, dropping my face to the ground at the harshness of my own voice. My body stiffened, bracing for His punishment.
To my surprise none came. Instead, His words were kind and soothing.
“Nothing but pain and suffering awaits you outside of this paradise I have created for you inside the garden,” He revealed. “You will be sick and lonely and your days will be numbered on the other side,” He warned.
His words sank in and filled my body as if He’d poured lead into my soul. I rose off the ground onto my knees, but still hung my gaze low in reverence of Him. “Then I shall remain in your garden,” I conceded.
“Well done, my child. For you are to care for Adam above all else and heed your role to bring forth life. You must be subservient to Adam’s needs in all things.”
My mind expanded at His words until I felt as if the pressure would cause it to explode. Subservient to Adam’s needs? Subservient!
From the core of my being, I revolted and lurched upward raising my gaze as I stood and dared look into the face of the Creator, but He was nowhere to be found.
Rule your own world
Lucifer’s lesson resonated in my core as Absolute Truth not the words of the One who made me.
“If I am trapped in Your garden then I will exercise my free will as you allow Adam.” I dared to challenge Him but spoke to the wind, as He was not there. “You can’t change the rules now,” I stated. “I’m free to love, and I will love all your creations including the angels.” I planted my feet and raised my eyes to the Heavens then bowed my head, “My Father.” I whispered more as a plea to grant me these things than an outright declaration of defiance.
“As you wish,” He answered seemingly from nowhere. “But if they so much as harm one hair on Adam’s head,” the sternness of His voice grew in intensity, “they will surely die.” His voice boomed louder as he proclaimed the last words.
The pressure in my head peaked, and blood trickled from my nose. As He drew back His energy from me, the throbbing in my head settled into a dull ache then peaked again. I wiped the blood from my face and flopped down in the dirt relieved He’d left me.
“Lucifer...Lucifer?” I called out in hushed tones, still clutching my head in my hands in an attempt to stop the waves of throbbing pain.
Rustling behind the bushes in front of me caused me to forget the pain I felt as the tingle of anticipation grew and nervous energy flooded through me.
“Lucifer!” I yelled, elated my love had been returned to me.
I ran toward the bushes my arms outstretched, but a wall of shock and disappointment slammed into me, stopping me dead in my tracks.
Adam sauntered toward me. “Now, you come with me,” he ordered, thrusting his jaw out in a ridiculous pout.
I grabbed a rock off the ground and flung it at his head. “I will not!” Confusion and anger overwhelmed my senses. Lucifer was gone. Again. And only the wretched Adam stood ten feet before me.
He dodged the rocks I continued to pelt at him. “Go away,” I screamed.
“You come or I’ll tell Him your angels tried to kill me...and they’ll die!” Pure satisfaction played across his face in the form of a wicked smile.
“You dared to spy on me as I spoke with the Creator?” I raged.
Blind fury took over because I’d underestimated the depths to which Adam would stoop in order to claim me as his own. Never did I think he’d be smart enough to devise a plan as sinister as this, trapping me from all sides. Yet, I still resisted his demands in my prideful anger.
“They leave here and you come,” he insisted. “Or they die.”
His simple words held too much weight for me to bear, and I flung myself on the ground in a fit of utter despair and wailed. Gut wrenching sobs poured out of me, for I had no choice but to comply with his malevolent plan. If I truly loved them, I had to let them go.
Adam touched my shoulder in an attempt to soothe me. “You come and we’ll be happy,” he offered.
Utterly defeated, I clasped his waiting hand and dusted myself off before heading toward my old home.
I now fully understood love in all its glory and all its despair, and the heartbreaking sacrifice of giving up the ones I loved for their own sake. The one Lucifer called an idiot had beaten me at my own game. I blew out a breath as we wandered toward familiar ground. Once I had hope here, now all I had left was defeat as I stepped back into my old home—my new prison—to live a life without my beloved angels.
Lilith
I almost felt sorry for Adam as I took in the disarray of my old home. The roof to our hut had a gaping hole that must have let animals and rain inside. Half eaten vegetables and fruit littered the floor, and ants and other insects milled about over the treasure they had found.
“I can’t live here,” I fumed, pointing around. “Not in this mess and chaos.”
Thoughts of the cave where I’d lived and considered my home until moments ago flitted through my mind. I slammed my eyes shut tight at the memories of love and fulfillment I’d found there. As much as it infuriated me to bring this deplorable mate to my home with the angels, it was for the best.
Adam touched my back moving his hands downward over my curves.
I whirled around and slapped his hand hard. “You will touch me when I say you can touch me and not before,” I gritted my teeth and snarled at him. “I agreed to live with you, but I will not be subservient to you and your whims.”
Adam lowered his eyes and frowned. “I will be better,” he promised.
“We are leaving here,” I stated, taking delight in the surprise splayed across his face.
“To go where?” He stumbled back a step, revealing his fear and weakness.
“To my true home,” I asserted, not caring if he liked it or not. “Where the angels dwell.” Smug satisfaction crept up my lips as I glared at him.
“Where they used to dwell,” he corrected, stinging my heart.
“What is he doing here?” Samael roared, glaring at Adam as my human mate stood outside the mouth of the cave. “Has he hurt you?” His voice softened as his gaze searched my face. As he inspected the dried blood, he ran his fingers across my earlobe and do
wn my neck.
“I’ll kill him!” He extended his wings in his fury, and his amber eyes glowed like the night we first met.
I stood squarely in front of the entrance to the cave, blocking their way as Mercy stood by his side, ready to punish Adam.
“No!” I yelled, thrusting my hands out in front of me. At the sound of my voice Samael retracted his wings, and they both searched my eyes.
“I don’t understand,” Mercy said, and her hair grayed as she spoke.
“The...The Creator…” I stammered. “Adam has threatened to tell the Creator that you tried to kill him,” I warned. My voice faltered but I dug deep inside myself to do what I had to in order to save my beautiful angels. “You must go home.” I touched Samael’s chest as I fought to hold my tears inside. “But I will remain here in your heart with you.” I touched his chest with the palm of my hand.
“Let me kill him now,” he said, clutching my hand and falling to one knee. “My Fire Queen.” He raised his eyes as if searching my face for permission.
“You can’t,” I said as tears betrayed me and slipped from my eyes. “You must go home—both of you.” I caught Mercy’s hand in mine. “The Creator told me He will kill you both if you harm Adam in any way.”
I cradled Samael’s head to my stomach as I heard my great lion weep. My strong fierce warrior bared his soul to me and his turmoil poured from his eyes as he gripped me, wrapping his arms around my waist and dropping his head. “I can’t bear this.” He trembled, moving his head from side to side as if to shake off the despair of it all.
Burying his face in the softness of my belly he wept openly spilling shards of hot tears onto my skin that felt as if they cut me open. Each one burned my heart and shattered my soul as I fought to stay upright and not collapse to my knees in distress.
I’d never seen him cry before—none of them, for that matter—but Samael’s tears pierced through me most of all, ripping my heart wide open.
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