by April Lust
“Can’t you put him down?” Evan asked.
“I would if he was asleep, but I’m afraid of what he’ll get into if I take my eyes off him. You know, all the guns,” she said, gesturing to the nearest weapon on the wall.
Evan cleared his throat but didn’t say anything right away. Hannah saw him flex his hands into fists, like he was pumping himself up for something, and for a second her heart froze with fear. “I could, you know, I could hold him,” he finally said in a low voice.
Hannah wasn’t certain that her ears had interpreted that right. Evan was offering to hold her son? “I, um. I,” she stuttered in response.
“Just as long as it takes you to pee and whatever else you need to do,” Evan rushed to say.
“Um, where’s the bathroom?” Hannah asked instead of answering him directly. Evan walked her back out into the living room and through the doorway to the right. Hannah bit her lip, considering her options. If she could find a way to unbutton her jeans and push them down with one hand, she might be able to hold onto Alex the whole time, but it would be a struggle. She didn’t want to drop him. God knows the poor boy had been through enough physical trauma, more than enough for someone his age.
But handing him off to Evan…The hitman’s whole motive to start with was to grab the baby and take him back to Salvatore. What if this whole time, he was just waiting for an opportunity to steal him without killing her? Salvatore might even prefer that, if she was stuck living without her son. In the time it took Hannah to pee, Evan could leave the cabin, get in the car, and peel off down the road, and Hannah would have no way of catching up to him. Unless…
“Give me a second,” she said to Evan, walking out of the cabin to go stare at the license plate of the SUV. She repeated the sequence of letters and numbers to herself over and over again, closing her eyes to conjure up a mental photograph. If Evan went off with Alex, she could call the cops and report a kidnapping. It wasn’t ideal, but it was the best option she had given the circumstances.
“Okay,” she said as she reentered the cabin, holding Alex out in Evan’s direction. “You can hold him. Just for a minute.”
Fear visibly flashed over Evan’s face when he took Alex into his arms, holding him at an awkward angle. Hannah corrected him, making sure that Evan supported all of her child’s weight, before heading into the bathroom. All the while, she strained her ears, trying to hear if Evan was trying anything while she was away, but she couldn’t hear anything other than Alex’s normal whining. He probably missed his mother. Hannah smiled a little at that. She might have lost everything, over and over again, but she still had her baby. That meant that she had all the love in the world.
Washing her hands thoroughly, she stared at herself in the mirror. Goddamn, I look awful, she thought. Huge dark bags hung under her eyes, and worry lines were evident in her forehead. She’d never seen herself look so worn down, even after years of living with Salvatore. She needed sleep more than anything in the world.
When she exited the bathroom, she didn’t see Evan or Alex right away, and she felt like her entire stomach had been ripped out of her body. She ran across the room, bolting for the door to see if the car was still there, when she finally heard Evan whisper, “Hey.”
There he was, sitting on the couch, with Alex asleep on his shoulder.
Evan’s face was strained and a little red, like he was exercising heavily, but Hannah had never seen Alex look so peaceful, his little hand wrapped around the collar of Evan’s shirt.
“Wow,” Hannah whispered. She hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but it was the only thought her brain was capable of forming at the moment. Just…wow. Alex had never taken to anyone that fast. He’d never even fallen asleep in Salvatore’s arms before.
Hannah slowly approached the couch, not wanting to wake her son. “Did he…he just fell asleep right away?” she asked.
“Took him a few seconds,” Evan said. He was still red. He must have felt embarrassed for some reason, although Hannah couldn’t understand why. It was like he’d been caught doing something bad.
She was hesitant to move Alex, afraid that the slightest disturbance would wake him up and send him right back into wailing, but Evan looked so uncomfortable, like Alex’s weight on him was ridiculously heavy. She slowly sat down next to Evan and lifted Alex off of him and onto her chest instead. “There we go, there we go, baby,” she whispered as Alex opened and closed his eyes again.
“Thank you,” she whispered to Evan.
“Me? I didn’t do anything.”
Hannah shook her head, leaning back into the cushions of the couch. “You did something. You calmed him down, somehow. I don’t know what you did. But thank you.”
Evan was silent. He didn’t nod or shake his head or anything. Hannah couldn’t read his face, either. She decided to drop the issue, even though the image of Alex sleeping on Evan lingered in her mind. She couldn’t seem to shake it away.
A minute later, however, she felt that familiar weight sitting on her eyelids again, making it harder and harder for her to keep her eyes open.
“Can I…sleep here?” Hannah asked.
Evan nodded quickly and got to his feet. “You have to sleep sometime, right?” he said. “I’ll leave you alone.” He began to retreat from the room before Hannah stopped him with her arm.
“No, no, you don’t have to go anywhere. I’m a heavy sleeper. You can go about your business and I’ll be fine. I can sleep through anything. I always have.”
“Yeah, I bet,” Evan said, and Hannah couldn’t read his tone. Was it…admiration she heard in his voice? That couldn’t be right. What was there to admire about her?
“You’re a strange one, Evan,” she murmured, her eyes sliding shut.
She thought she heard Evan say something in response, but she couldn’t make it out before falling into the sweet abyss of sleep.
***
Evan
“You’re a special one, Hannah,” Evan murmured softly. Looking down at her, he once again imagined scenes from her relationship with Salvatore. He thought of her being hit, cowering in fear, living her life according to his whims. Evan felt a burning rage start to bubble up from the bottom of his stomach, and he knew what he was going to do.
One last job for the road. He had to kill Salvatore with his own two hands.
Chapter Four
Hannah
“I hate to ask this,” Hannah said as she pulled her hair down from the big bun on the top of her head. “But could you just…make sure he doesn’t touch any of the guns while I shower really quick?”
Evan looked up from the week-old newspaper. He liked to play the Sudoku and crossword puzzles. They helped organize his thoughts, and God knows he needed clarity if he was going to carry out his plan. He just nodded and smiled at Hannah, who quickly ran to the bathroom to shower. The baby was asleep in a pile of blankets on the floor, breathing loudly but evenly.
He heard the sound of the shower turning on, and his mind involuntarily conjured up an image of Hannah out of her clothes. Evan immediately berated himself inwardly for the mental transgression. She’s been through enough without you being sleazy and gross, he told himself. But still, it was hard not to think about it. Her tight, young body under the water, getting wet…
Okay, clearly he needed to focus on other things. He couldn’t exactly innocently explain away a boner if Hannah suddenly walked back into the room without warning. Evan got up and started walking around, careful not to make too much noise and wake the baby. But inside, his thoughts were running a marathon, going ninety miles per hour. He needed to make a decision. Do I tell Hannah about my plan, or do I just keep it to myself until it’s done?
He needed to stay with Hannah until she left the country with the baby, that much was obvious. Was there a way he could sneak off with an excuse while she and Alex stayed here? Maybe they could remain safe, without anybody knowing where they were, while Evan went back to Salvatore’s and killed him. Then they could all ma
ke for South America and…
And then part ways, he thought. The notion made him feel a sinking sensation deep in his stomach, but it was what was going to happen, right? That was probably what Hannah wanted, to be free of any and all reminders of her time with Salvatore. It was what she deserved.
In any case, Evan figured, he needed to kill Salvatore as soon as possible. It was the best thing to do to make sure Hannah and Alex were safe. As long as he’s alive, he’ll never stop hunting them, Evan thought. But inside he was aware that it wasn’t just a matter of expediency. He wanted to do it. That was a new feeling for him. In the past, whenever he carried out a hit, it was strictly business. Get in, get out, finish the job as best you can. He’d never enjoyed it, not really. But with Salvatore, he knew it would bring him a level of satisfaction that he’d never known, to wipe at least one piece of disgusting scum off the planet.
“Can you teach me to shoot today?” Hannah asked as she reentered the living room, squeezing her hair with a towel to get the moisture out.
Evan jumped a little, surprised that she’d finished her shower so quickly. “That was fast,” he commented.
“Mothers do everything faster than normal people,” Hannah said by way of explanation. She stepped closer to Evan before shaking her head like a dog, hitting him in the face with water. “Sorry,” she said, but the grin on her face told him that she wasn’t feeling particularly apologetic.
He smiled back at her, and he could feel his mood changing from serious to light-hearted again. Somehow, despite everything Hannah had been through, she had a way of doing that, making him feel lighter. “You want to practice shooting?” he asked.
Hannah nodded. “In case something happens, you know. It’d be useful if I knew what I was doing. If I tried to shoot anybody right now I’d probably just end up hurting myself.”
“We don’t want that,” Evan said without thinking. “Okay. Um. Maybe we’ll do it on the back patio. That way we can watch the baby while we’re practicing.”
Hannah nodded and picked Alex up, swaddling him more securely in the blankets that cushioned his small body. They crossed the length of the house, passing through the kitchen to get through the back door. Evan undid all of the locks and chains before grabbing the kitchen gun, a long, thin rifle with a layer of dust on it. He really needed to clean up around the cabin more often.
Evan gestured at one of the deck chairs, and Hannah put Alex down, making sure the chair was far enough away for the noise not to harm the baby, and that it was secure and wouldn’t rock or fall over. “Okay,” Hannah said. “What first?”
“First, you just watch me,” Evan said.
Hannah’s nose scrunched up in frustration. “I’ve seen people shoot before.”
He almost laughed at how eager she seemed to shoot, but he held himself back, not wanting to offend her. “Just watch me do it once, and then we’ll give you a shot.”
Hannah sighed and nodded, a serious look spreading over her face as Evan lifted the gun and pointed it at a tree near the house. Evan slowly placed his finger on the trigger, pausing in between each step so that Hannah could get a good look at what he was doing. Then, he fired, knocking a branch off the tree with a loud bang.
Evan was sure the noise was going to wake the baby, but he merely shifted in his blankets and smacked his lips. He wondered whether Alex was used to loud noises at this point in his life, and he felt waves of sadness crash over him at the thought. Over the next few minutes, Evan went over basic gun fundamentals with Hannah before handing her the weapon. Safety was first. He taught her how to pick out a target space that wasn’t likely to bounce the bullet back off and ricochet in her direction.
After a half hour or so of lecturing and demonstration, Hannah was beginning to get impatient. “Is it my turn yet?” she asked.
Evan smiled at that. He couldn’t help himself. “Yes, it’s your turn. You ready for it?”
“Oh, yeah. Born ready,” Hannah said. “Well, maybe not born ready. But, I’ve been ready for a really long time.”
“Okay, next rule of shooting,” Evan said as he handed the gun off to her carefully. “Don’t overthink things. Just act.”
Hannah blew out her breath and pointed the gun at the nearest tree. “That’s a bit difficult for me, man.”
“I know,” Evan said, as if he’d known her forever. “But you can do it. Just exhale and pull the trigger.”
Hannah did as instructed, but the bullet missed the tree entirely, whipping past it into the woods and hitting something else out of sight. “Shit,” she muttered under her breath.
Evan rushed to reassure her. “No, no, that’s okay. That was really good for a first try.”
Hannah shook her head at him but didn’t say anything in response, lifting her gun again to fire at the tree a second time. This time it hit, but it mostly skimmed the side of the trunk rather than hitting it in the middle. “Fuck!” she cursed, immediately squeezing the trigger again to try to do better. But this time, it missed the tree entirely again. “Shit, shit, shit.”
Evan could see how tense she was, how much pressure she was putting on herself. She carried her tension in her shoulders, which bunched up around her head. It looked uncomfortable. Before he knew what he was doing, he walked up behind her and put his hands on her arms, rubbing lightly to get her to relax. Halfway through the first stroke, he knew he was crossing a boundary, but he’d already made the decision. Or, at least, his body had.
“What are you—” Hannah began to say, but she cut herself off.
“Hey, just…let go, okay?” Evan said softly, almost whispering. “You can do this. Just let go.”
His hands brushed down from her shoulder, to her arms, past her elbows, and finally stopped at her hands, lightly rubbing over the bones of her wrist. “You got this,” he said.
Hannah exhaled deeply and dropped her shoulders, immediately looking about ten times more relaxed and loose. She breathed in and out a few more times before pulling the trigger again. This was the best shot so far, but it still wasn’t perfect, hitting the tree higher than she’d intended. Evan moved her arm with his hand, positioning it at the best possible angle. “Try it now,” he instructed. Hannah did as she was told, squeezing the trigger, this time hitting the tree square in the middle.
She laughed lightly in obvious surprise.
“You did it,” Evan said, feeling himself grin widely in pride.
“Well, you helped me,” Hannah said, waving her hand as if that took away all of her credit. “It doesn’t really count.”
Evan stepped back, taking his hands off her shoulders. “Try it now,” he said confidently.
“Okaaaay, but I’m just going to fuck it up,” Hannah said in a sing-song tone of voice. She pulled the trigger again, hitting the tree at the exact right spot again. “Jesus….wow,” she breathed softly, clearly talking to herself.
“Yeah, wow,” Evan repeated. “You’re the fastest learner I’ve ever seen.”
“You teach lots of people how to shoot?” Hannah asked, a deep shade of pink spreading across her nose and cheeks in response to the compliment.
“I taught myself,” Evan replied. “I was a very slow learner. Really just shit at it for the longest time.”
Hannah laughed, putting the gun down. “It’s hard to imagine that.”
“What, me sucking?”
“Yeah, you just seem…so in control of things,” she said with a shrug. “Except for avoiding frying pans,” she added with a laugh.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Evan said in response, but he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. God, she’s adorable, he thought to himself. Even when she’s mocking me. No, especially then.
Hannah picked the gun back up and shot a few more times, aiming at a different tree each time. It took some effort, but eventually she hit all of her targets square in the middle. Evan could see her relaxing right before his eyes. Maybe all she needed was to let off some steam.
“Time to move on to smaller t
argets,” Evan said. “Be right back.” He ran into the house and into his bedroom, searching for the little miniature stop signs he’d used for target practice years ago. He found them a minute later and ran back out, placing them in the ground a little further past the trees to make it more difficult.
“Oh, boy,” Hannah said, anxiety seeping back into her voice.
“No, no, it’s okay,” Evan said reassuringly, walking back over to her to put his hand on her shoulder. “You got this.”
Hannah blew out her breath to get some strands of hair out of her face and lifted the gun again, aiming it at the smaller targets this time. It took a few tries, but soon she was hitting them in the middle or at least close to it. Jesus, maybe she’s better than me, Evan thought. But somehow he wasn’t surprised. She was adaptable. She was strong. She’d probably make a better killer than him, too.