by April Lust
After another half-hour, Hannah put the gun down and walked back over to Alex who was awake and fussing now, picking him up so she could sit in the deck chair and hold him in her lap. “My arm was getting tired,” she explained.
“You’re a really good student,” Evan said softly. He meant it to sound a little teasing, but it was the truth after all.
“You’re a good teacher,” Hannah responded, tilting her face up to smile at him, her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.
For the first time since he was six years old, that image didn’t fill him with dread and anger. This was a Christmas tree he could learn to love.
***
Hannah
For the rest of the day, they passed the time shooting Evan’s guns and catching up on sleep. God knows Hannah needed it after being awake for so long. Even after two or three naps, she was still so tired that she would often forget what she was saying mid-sentence, trailing off instead into a series of “um”s and “nevermind”s.
But Hannah soon realized that her forgetfulness was a bigger problem than just an embarrassing verbal tic. Late that night, she reached into her bag to heat up some formula for Alex and realized that she was on the last bottle. How did I not manage to buy more before coming here? Hannah asked herself. She had planned everything out so meticulously, taking only what was necessary from Salvatore’s place before going on the run. But the baby’s food? How could she forget something so crucial?
She groaned low and slapped her own forehead out of frustration. This was bad. This was very bad. This meant she’d have to go to the nearest town to buy some, all while remaining low-profile enough to avoid attracting anyone’s attention. For all she knew, Salvatore had put out a crime bulletin to get the tristate area hunting for her. It wasn’t like there was a TV in Evan’s cabin to check.
She sat like that, her head cradled in her hands, for several minutes. After a while she felt Evan come up behind her, but for a minute he didn’t say anything, just watched her before finally placing a hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?” he whispered.
“Um, yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” she said back, getting to her feet and turning to face him directly. “It’s just…” She trailed off into a sigh.
Evan just stared silently at her, his eyes filled with worry. Hannah was a little surprised, seeing anxiety written clearly on his face like that, but she decided not to ask about it. “I just…I just fucked up, that’s all,” she said with another drawn-out sigh.
“How?” Evan asked softly.
“I didn’t pack enough formula for Alex, and now…I’m gonna run out soon if I don’t go get some. That’s all.”
Evan exhaled heavily, and Hannah could see relief coming off of him in waves. “That’s it? That’s okay. I can go get some.”
Hannah shook her head. “You don’t know what to get. I’m assuming you’ve never fed a baby before, right?”
Evan shook his head. “But it doesn’t matter. You can tell me what to get and I’ll get it. No big deal.”
Hannah immediately felt her muscles tense up in anxiety. Something about that proposition just didn’t sit right with her, but she couldn’t immediately put her finger on why. She just knew that she didn’t want Evan to go into town alone. He might…he might do something, she argued to herself. He might take the opportunity when I’m not watching him to call Salvatore and bring the other men here to overwhelm me.
“I can go by myself,” Hannah said, trying to keep her voice light and casual so her worries weren’t obvious. “It’ll just be an hour.” She immediately walked past Evan towards Alex, picking him up off the floor where he had been playing with his own shoe.
“You’re taking him with you?” Evan asked, his tone a little sharp and accusatory. “Isn’t that…dangerous?”
You’re dangerous, Hannah wanted to say back to him, but she held it in. “He’s safest with me,” she argued.
“Then stay here and I’ll go,” Evan said back, heading towards the door. Hannah had to physically step in front of him to stop him from leaving.
“Wait. No. Okay, cards on the table,” she said, exhaling heavily to steady herself for what she was about to say. “I don’t trust that you won’t betray me. Okay? I just don’t.”
Evan was quiet for a moment, chewing on his bottom lip. “So you still think…you still think I want to hurt you?”
Hannah shrugged. She felt a pang of guilt hit her right in the chest at the sight of Evan’s face falling. Why should I feel guilty? Hannah tried to argue with herself. He’s the murderer. He’s the one who attacked me and started this whole thing. He’s probably known Salvatore longer than I have for God’s sake.
“I just…it’s a hard thing to get over. I don’t mean it in a bad way,” she said a second later.
“There’s a good way?” Evan said sarcastically, but then shook his head and offered a weak smile. “Sorry. I’m sorry. You’re right. Why should you trust me?”
Hannah just stared at him, watching his eyes move back and forth between her own eyes and her mouth, probably waiting for her to say something else. But she couldn’t think of anything else to say. Evan sighed heavily and gestured to Alex. “Look at it this way. One of us should stay here with him, where it’s safe,” he said. “They’ll be looking for you, not me. I should go.”
She looked down at Alex, wiggling in her arms. “I can’t let you go alone,” Hannah said in a low voice, barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry. I just can’t. Please understand.” She knew she was probably hurting Evan by telling the truth, but Alex’s safety had to come first. He was her entire world. She’d do anything for him. So, being a bitch to the guy that tried to hurt them both? Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.
Evan blew out his breath and nodded. “Okay, so then we both go,” he suggested. “All of us.”
“Shouldn’t…shouldn’t one of us hold down the fort?” Hannah asked, gesturing to the cabin around them.
“The cabin will be safe,” Evan replied. “I’ll lock up before we go out. Look, I just think…if you’re going out there where someone might recognize you, you’ll both be safer if I come with. I can help you in case you get into any trouble.”
“It’ll just be a little while,” Hannah argued, shifting closer towards the door. She was honestly considering bolting at this point, if only to prove a point to Evan. It was a bad habit she had, trying to prove people wrong whenever they suggested her competence was limited. She knew it was just her insecurity talking, but still, it was a difficult impulse to overcome.
“Please,” Evan said, stepping closer to close the gap between their bodies. “Please let’s all go. I promise I won’t try anything. You have my full permission to kill me if I do, or if I prove anything less than useful. Please.”
Hannah wasn’t sure what to say, but then Alex started pulling at her hair, and she had to refocus her attention on the baby instead. “Stop that, silly monkey,” she murmured down to him, rubbing the back of his head.
But Alex was filled with energy, squirming until his body turned to face the other direction, and he reached his little hand out…toward Evan.
Both Hannah and Evan were silent and still for a long moment, watching as the baby struggled to reach out and touch Evan’s chest with his tiny hand. He trusts him, Hannah realized. The baby trusts him.
“Okay,” she whispered, hitching Alex up higher in her arms. “Okay, you can come.”
Evan smiled then, and it was full and genuine, lighting up his whole face and making him look about ten years younger. Hannah couldn’t help but smile back.
They left the cabin, and Hannah went ahead to secure Alex in the car seat while Evan locked up, going around to the back of the house to make sure the back door was equally secure. When he reappeared, he walked to the driver’s side and got in.
Hannah, still in the backseat with Alex, immediately felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand at attention, ready for a fight. “What are you doing?” she asked in a hard tone of
voice.
“I’m driving,” Evan said, as if that required no explanation.
“Why…I….no!” Hannah said, stuttering in her frustration. “I’m driving.”
“I know this area pretty well. I can take us to a supermarket quicker than you can,” Evan said.
That’s true…Hannah realized. The longer they stayed out of the cabin, the more danger they were in. Maybe it would be better if Evan drove, that way they could get back as quickly as possible.
But he could take you on the highway and back to Salvatore and you wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. You can’t jump out of a moving vehicle with a baby, she argued back.
Then, the solution hit her, all at once.
“I’m taking a gun,” Hannah said. “Give me the house keys, I’m getting a gun. And I’m going to hold onto it the entire time. Get my meaning?” The second you stray off the beaten path and take us into danger, I’m blowing your brains out, she silently vowed.
“Yeah, I get it,” Evan said, handing her the key to the cabin. Hannah quickly ran in and grabbed the first loaded gun she saw, as well as her bag full of supplies, just in case. She slammed the door back behind her as she bolted back to the car. She was a little scared that Evan could pull out of the woods and take off with Alex, but he stayed still the entire time. That was yet another opportunity Evan had to fuck her over, and he didn’t take it. Still, she held onto the gun as tightly as she could as she climbed back inside the vehicle.
“Okay,” she said, breathing hard after her short stint of running back and forth. “Let’s go. Closest supermarket you got.”
Evan nodded and switched the engine on, pulling out of the trees and back onto the rocky road. “I’m glad you…I’m glad you feel comfortable holding a gun,” he said after a short moment of silence.
“Well, I’m a fast learner. And I get over things quick,” Hannah said without thinking, turning to stare out of the window. Alex was fussing a little in his seat, but she couldn’t pick him up with a gun in her hand.
Evan was watching her in the rearview mirror, she realized after a minute on the road. There was a little smile on his face, his eyes shining in the reflection of the mirror. “What?” Hannah finally said after another minute of being watched.
“Nothing, nothing,” Evan replied. “It’s just…you really fucked me up with that frying pan. Imagine what you could do with a real weapon like the one you’re holding.”
Hannah smirked a little, feeling proud of herself. She was good at causing damage. Maybe that wasn’t the best thing to be proud of, but it was a nice change of pace, considering all the damage she’d suffered herself.
“You’re nice to me,” Hannah murmured, just thinking out loud.
“Somebody’s gotta be nice to you,” Evan said in response.
“What does that mea—” Before Hannah could finish her sentence, their car was suddenly rammed from behind, another vehicle appearing out of nowhere on the dirt road.
“Shit!” Evan yelled.
“Keep driving,” Hannah said without thinking. Maybe it was just an accident, just bad luck. Maybe it was just a distracted driver who rear-ended them because he wasn’t paying attention. But they couldn’t afford to take the chance.
“Don’t worry, I am,” Evan said, hitting the accelerator so hard the engine revved as they sped down the road.
“Oh, no,” Hannah whispered as she saw the car give chase. There were at least three men inside, all dressed in black. Salvatore’s men, she realized.
The other car quickly caught up with them, driving up alongside them and lightly ramming their sides together, sending Hannah skittering across the backseat. “Shit!”
Alex wailed next to her, and she was just about to turn and cover him with her body to shield him from the momentum of the other car’s impact when she remembered the gun sitting between her legs. The gun!
“I’m gonna shoot,” Hannah said, turning in her seat to roll her window down.
“Be careful!” Evan shouted, wildly turning the steering wheel left, then right, trying to out maneuver the car next to them.
“Will do,” Hannah vowed before sticking the barrel of the gun out of the window and pulling the trigger, immediately shattering the glass of one of the other car’s windows.
She tried to aim for one of the men inside, but it was hard with the cars moving so quickly back and forth across the road. Next to her, Alex was crying loudly in his seat, but Hannah couldn’t worry about that right now. She had to protect him. She had to fight for him.
Evan sped up, and their car shot past the attackers’ vehicle. “I’m going to slam on the brakes, okay?” Evan said.
“What? Why?” Hannah demanded to know.
“Because they won’t be expecting it. You’ll have a second to aim for their heads and shoot.”
“Their heads?” Hannah asked, her heart pounding in her throat so loud she wasn’t sure if she could even speak over the force of its pumping. “I don’t know if I’m ready for—” For murder, she finished inwardly.
“You are, Hannah, you are, you can do it,” Evan said. “I know you can. On three, okay?”
“Okay, okay,” Hannah said back, tightening her grip on the gun. I can do this. I can do this. I’m a tough motherfucking warrior woman and I can do this.
“One,” Evan said, the car speeding up a little more. It was probably going ninety or ninety-five down the narrow dirt road.
Hannah placed her finger on the trigger.
“Two.”
She pointed the gun upwards, the tip just outside her open window. I can do this. I can be strong, she said to herself, even as her hands started shaking like they were in a blender.
“Three!” Evan hit the brakes, hard. The car skidded to a stop as the other car slowed down but still shot ahead of them.
Hannah had a perfect view of their heads through the back window. At the last second, she made a decision. Yes. I can do this.
She aimed, exhaled deeply, and fired, shooting out one of their back tires before immediately re-focusing the gun and doing the same to the other one. “Go!” she shouted at Evan, who immediately complied.
They shot past the car full of Salvatore’s men and roared down the little road, taking as many turns as possible to throw the men off their trail before finally finding a main road.
“Jesus,” Evan muttered. Hannah wiped the sweat off her forehead and put the gun down on the floor, turning to take stock of Alex. He didn’t look hurt, at least, even if he was crying like he had been.
Hannah stared at the back of Evan’s head. If he hadn’t been driving…me and Alex would probably be dead, if not worse.
“Next time, steal a faster car,” Evan said from the front, and the entire situation was so ridiculous Hannah couldn’t help but laugh through her hoarse throat.
Evan joined her, and together they giggled hysterically, partly out of relief, partly out of plain exhaustion. And fear. Hannah had never felt so afraid in her entire life. Salvatore was still coming after her, and he knew where she was. He must have traced the location of the cabin somehow, maybe through Evan’s credit cards or bank statements.
Hannah leaned forward and pressed her head between her knees, trying to get the nausea in her stomach to dissipate.
“You didn’t shoot them,” Evan commented from the front seat.
Hannah had to suppress a groan. She was hoping they weren’t going to talk about it. “I just couldn’t…I couldn’t do it, okay? I’m weak. I’m a pussy,” she said, feeling just about as defeated as she ever had. Her stomach was calming down, but she stayed bent over, hiding her face from Evan.
“No, no, I…it was good. It was a good thing that you did.”
“Not shooting the fuckers that are hunting me and my son?” she said, feeling beads of sweat course down her neck and disappear under the collar of her shirt.
“Not taking life if you don’t have to,” Evan said, and for a second she thought he was mocking her, but when she leaned
up to look at his face in the mirror, she could tell he was serious. “It’s easy to kill. It’s so fucking easy. Humans are so fragile.”
“Yeah,” Hannah said, her brain taking a long minute to process his words.
“It’s so easy to fuck that up. You made the hard choice. That’s all…that’s all I wanted to say,” Evan said, clearing his throat as he finished speaking.
“Well, thank you,” Hannah murmured in response. “That’s…that’s nice to hear.” She wanted to say something bigger, something stronger. It was so much more than just “nice.” She wanted to thank him for making her feel brave, for turning a moment of weakness into a moment of strength. But she was too scared to focus. Salvatore’s coming. Old Salvatore’s coming. He’s coming and he’s going to kill us now. He’s going to kill us all.