by V. Vaughn
“He is,” I say.
She waits a moment, and I think it’s to see if I’ll offer up who he is, but when I don’t, Carly continues, “Are you aware that witches and werebear are now allowed to be together in this clan?”
“Yes. I heard.” I recall Ian was the one who told me, but since he practically pushed me out of his truck last night, I add, “But I don’t think the father of my children wants to be with me.”
“Then we need to see if we can find you a soul mate,” Carly says in a stern voice with enough power in it that a chill runs down my spine.
“Soul mate?” I ask. The overwhelming feelings I have for Ian rush to the forefront of my memory, and I recall Ian said there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by when he didn’t miss me. I’ve heard of witches having soul mates but never with shifters.
Carly says, “We recently discovered that while werebear can only have true-mate bonds amongst themselves, there is a special soul-mate bond that exists between some werebear and witches.”
“Wow. I didn’t know that.” I think about how often I fantasized about being with Ian over the years. So much so that I never entertained the idea of dating anyone else. Could we have a soul-mate bond? But then I remember the way he just drove off last night, and I’m not so sure.
Carly goes on to discuss the ideas she has for educating my children in safe ways outside of the public schools and tells me that since the father isn’t present, she’d like me to have a werebear nanny who will also work with my children when it comes to shifting and exploring their world as bear.
I take in the overwhelming amount of information as best I can, because my head is spinning with figuring out if Ian and I might be soul mates.
And I must look dazed, because when Carly stops talking, she laughs. “Don’t worry,” she says. “We’ll go over all of this again with Brady.”
I smile at her. “Thanks. This is all pretty new to me.”
“I remember what that feels like. It was over ten years ago, but I came here without a clue. And now look at me.” Carly was the first half werebear who bonded, and that was how they discovered halves could become full shifters. “I’ll be in touch about our decision once I’ve talked to Brady. If there is anything you need or questions you have that Kimi can’t answer, call me.”
“I will. Thank you,” I say. “Now, how hard is it going to be to peel my girls off the swings?”
Carly laughs as she leads the way out the back door to her yard. I glance over at the training center and think about Ian. The idea that we might be soul mates has given me hope. I have a feeling if he loves me as strongly as I love him, everything will be okay.
“Mommy!” cries Sadie when she sees me. “Watch this!” She flips upside down on an acrobatic bar, and a swing creaks as Sophie swings back and forth, singing to herself. I smile at my little dreamer off in her own world and wonder if she’s even noticed I’m here.
“Look at you,” I say to Sadie when I gaze at her again. Behind her, I notice someone walking toward the training center from the house, and as I watch, I realize it has to be Ian. I turn to Kimi. “I’m not going to wait any longer. Would you mind hanging out here with the girls while I go talk to Ian?”
Kimi slaps my arm. “It’s about time. Go.”
Chapter 8
“Ian!” I call out as I get closer to him.
He stops walking, and when he turns to me, I discover he’s glaring.
I take a moment to catch my breath. “What’s wrong?”
“I know what you wanted to talk to me about last night.” Anger lurks in his eyes. “Didn’t you think you should have mentioned you have a family? I just saw the car seats.”
“That’s what I was coming to tell you about.”
“Don’t bother. I get it now. You found someone else, and that’s why you didn’t come back. Only now that it’s not working out, you’ve come back to lick your wounds, but I’m not going to be that guy.” Pain clouds his face.
“Someone else?” I shake my head. “Ian, no. I—we have twin girls. Sadie and Sophie turned four in March.”
He blinks as his mouth opens. “I’m a father? Of twins?”
I smile. “You are, and they’re so precious, Ian. I can’t—”
“Hold on. When you left here five years ago, you were pregnant with my children?”
I nod as his nostrils flare, and my stomach knots up when I realize he’s angry.
“Five. Years!” His chest heaves as he opens and closes his mouth a few times. He finally finds words. “You didn’t think you ought to tell me?”
“I wasn’t sure if—”
“You can’t control people’s lives like that, Elise!” He clenches his hands in fists as he turns away from me.
“Ian! Let me explain.”
He turns around and lets out a low growl that makes me take a step back. “Nothing you can say will make what you did okay, Elise. I—” He swallows hard, and I notice hair is sprouting on his face like I’ve seen happen to my daughters just before they shift. “I can’t talk to you about this right now.”
I watch in amazement as he strips off his clothes and shifts into a bear right in front of me. But he’s not a cute, cuddly cub. He’s massive. The ground shakes under my feet as he runs off into the woods. I stare after him until he’s in the cover of the trees. What I just saw did shock me, but it should have scared the hell out of me too. I was within feet of a very large animal with big teeth and claws that could slice my body to shreds with one swipe. And I think Ian might have been angry enough to do it. But I wasn’t afraid. I was awestruck.
I walk over to Ian’s clothes. Peace has settled over me even though I should be upset that Ian is so angry. The cotton of his shirt is soft in my fingers as I pick it up and inhale his scent before I begin to fold it. I wonder if his fur would be as soft as the girls’ feels. I shiver a little before I bend down and pick up his pants to fold too.
I’m on the bank of the river, and I’m looking for Ian. I can’t find him, but the ground vibrates beneath my feet, and it makes me turn around to see a bear lumbering toward me. He’s got two cubs riding on his back, and my heart fills with love for my family.
The vision disappears, and I place the folded clothes near his shoes, which I straighten out. I think about how I’ve never seen him get as angry as he just did, and I bet it isn’t often he can’t control his bear. But even though that was likely traumatic for him, it wasn’t for me. I’m more convinced than I was before that we’re meant to be together.
I turn to walk back to my girls. When I get there, I find Kimi is on a swing next to Sadie, who is talking a mile a minute with a story, and Sophie is in the tree-house section above the slide. She’s looking off toward where Ian just ran, so I walk over to her. I climb up to join her. “Hey, Soph,” I say. “What are you looking at?”
“A bear. Is that what my daddy looks like?”
Wow. My throat tightens as I think about how sure I am Ian is meant to be part of my girls’ lives. And mine. I just have to find a way to convince him to forgive me and see it too. “Yes, honey. Your daddy looks like that when he’s being a bear.”
“He’s pretty,” she says.
“Yeah,” I whisper. I clear my throat. “Want to show me your magic again?”
Sophie looks up at me with her big blue eyes. “No. Can we go back to Kimi’s now?”
“We can.” I move over to the slide, and my feet thud on the ground when I get to the bottom of it. “You ready?” I ask Sadie. “Because I’m hungry for lunch.”
“Me too,” says Kimi.
After we have lunch and the girls settle down for a nap, I finally get to tell Kimi what happened. She hands me a bowl full of peas to shell and sits across from me with her own, and there is a bowl on the table between us.
I let out a heavy sigh. “He was mad.” Kimi doesn’t say anything, so I go on. “He saw the car seats, and at first, he thought that I’d stayed away because I’d found someone else, but then he got angri
er when I told him that the girls were his.”
Kimi is still silent. So I say, “I’m not sure what to do. Do I go and try to apologize? Maybe I bring the girls with me.” When Kimi still doesn’t say anything, I let out a huff of air. “Talk to me! What should I do?”
Kimi holds her hand over the bowl as she stares at me with a blank expression. She drops three peas in quick succession but doesn’t move her hand. After what feels like forever, she finally drops a fourth pea into the bowl before pulling her hand away. I give her a sad smile, because I get the message. The first three peas were me, Sadie and Sophie, and the final pea was Ian. She’s telling me that he’ll come around when he’s ready.
I hope she’s right, but I feel the need to hurry things along, and I lift up a hip to grab my phone. I text Ian. Let me know when you can meet the girls so we can tell them you’re their father.
Now I have to try to be patient. I say to Kimi, “I’m going to need some serious distractions over the next few days, because waiting for Ian to get over his anger is going to be hard.”
I glance at the clock, and an idea comes to me. Every day Ian isn’t in my girls’ lives is one day more than it should be. I deprived him of the first four years of their childhood, and I can’t change that. But I can sure do my best to make sure he doesn’t miss any more.
“You know what?” I ask. “Those weeds out front need my attention.”
“Elise,” Kimi says in a warning tone.
“Oh, I’ll give Ian space when it comes to me, but this is about the girls. They’re my ticket to winning Ian back.” I slip out of my shoes to slide into Kimi’s gardening boots. “You’ll see. I know what I’m doing.”
“Uh-huh. Just like you did five years ago,” says Kimi. But I ignore her and go outside to wait for Ian to run by.
Chapter 9
I watch for the warriors to come running by Kimi’s and see them in plenty of time to step into the road where Ian can’t pretend not to notice me. “We need to talk,” I say as he approaches.
He stops and bends over to catch his breath. He waves his trainees on then straightens up to say, “Make it quick. They’re killing me today.”
He looks horrible. His eyes are red, and his skin is slightly greenish, as if he had too much to drink last night. “Are you okay?” I ask. “You look like you’re going to be sick.”
“Long night, but I’m fine. Considering.”
“Right.” I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry for keeping your daughters from you. I realize now I should have told you as soon as I knew, but I was afraid. What if you thought they were—”
“Don’t,” he says. “Don’t try to convince me you thought I wouldn’t have loved them because of what they are.”
“Okay. But what would have happened? If you wanted to be with us, you’d have been kicked out of the clan.”
“So you decided for me.”
“Can you tell me I’m wrong? You would have been miserable not being able to let your bear out. It was for the best, Ian.”
He shakes his head at me. “Keeping me from my children for four years is what was best?” His eyes flash with his anger. “You don’t get to hand out information as you see fit, Elise. I should have been part of every decision you made.”
I reach for him, but he doesn’t even look at my hand, so I drop it. “I know that now. I said I’m sorry, and you have every right to be mad at me. It’s just that I hate that you’ve missed out on so much of our daughters’ lives. I want you to meet them as soon as possible so they can finally know their father.”
He shakes his head in what I think is disbelief as I say, “They’ll be up—”
He lets out a low growl.
“What?”
He says, “I will decide when I want that to happen and get back to you.”
“But—”
“Argh!” He steps back from me as if he’s afraid of being too close. “You just don’t get it, do you?” I frown in confusion, and he says, “Stop dictating what happens in my life!”
“Oh.” Jeez. He’s really touchy about calling the shots. I did exactly what he would have done, and if he’s so damn mad about not seeing the girls for four years, I know he wants to see them now. “Um. Okay. I guess I’ll let you tell me how you want it to go when you’re ready. Will that work?”
He takes a few breaths to calm down before he finally says, “Yes.”
“Okay.” I begin to back away. “I’ll let you—I mean—”
“I’m going to run now.”
“Got it.” I lift my hand to wave, but he’s already jogging, so I turn around and head back to the house. And when I get inside, Kimi raises her eyebrows at me.
I take my time slipping out of the boots as I try to figure out why Ian is so convinced I’m trying to dictate his life. I say to Kimi, “I apologized, and he’s going to let me know when he’s ready to meet the girls.”
Kimi nods as she listens, then says, “Carly called. She and Brady have come to a decision.”
“And?”
“You have a meeting with them at eight tonight.”
Now that I’m driving over to Carly’s, the reality of my situation is sinking in and making me nervous. My conversation with Carly this morning was overshadowed by my hope that Ian and I might be soul mates, so I didn’t consider that it was also an interview to see if I’m a good fit for the LeRoux clan. I’m afraid I may not have taken it as seriously as I should have, and I pray I didn’t come across as if I weren’t aware that she’s in charge. Because if Brady and Carly decide my daughters and I can’t be members of the clan, I’m not sure what I’ll do.
I take a few deep, calming breaths as I make my way up the driveway, and when I get out of the car, I plant my feet firmly on the ground and close my eyes to let the spirits flow through me and give me clarity. The strong feeling that I belong here comes to me, and it helps me knock on the door of the LeRoux’s with confidence.
Carly answers, and we go into her kitchen, where a large man stands up from the table and holds out his hand to me.
“Brady LeRoux,” he says. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Elise.”
“Thanks. I’m honored to meet you, Mr. LeRoux.”
“Call me Brady. And have a seat.”
“Can I get you anything?” asks Carly.
I notice neither of them has a beverage. “No, thank you.”
Once we all sit, Brady says, “Elise, we’d like to welcome you and your girls into the clan.”
I let out a breath of air in relief, and Carly and Brady smile at me.
“Thank you. I’m thrilled to be here. My daughters’ safety depends on it.”
“They’ll be very safe here,” says Carly as she grabs a stack of papers from the table and hands a packet to me and one to Brady. “We have a few details to go over, and I hope you don’t mind, but over the years, we’ve found that putting everything in writing helps keep things clear on both sides.”
“Of course,” I say as the conversation Carly and I had earlier comes back to me. I didn’t say anything at the time, but I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of a stranger in my daily life, or the part about having to find a soul mate. Especially if Ian decides he can’t be with me, because that feels an awful lot like a forced marriage. Paper rustles as I lift up the top sheet and begin to read.
Carly says, “As you see, I’ve put in place the things we spoke about. Article number one deals with the fact the werebear father isn’t present in your daughters’ lives. You’ll be required to have a werebear be a significant influence in their daily care to help them with their bear side.”
“The nanny,” I say.
“Yes,” says Brady. “But you’ll have complete say on who you hire, and when you find a soul mate, that will become null and void.”
I already don’t like this, but considering I just revealed how my options are almost nonexistent, I nod and decide nothing will be cast in stone until I sign on the dotted line. This is probably the negotiation phase anyway, so
I’ll wait until the first pass-through before I bring up my objections.
We move through a few more stipulations, like homeschooling instead of public school to keep my kids safe from discovery. They’re all reasonable but constraining, and with each article, I find it a little harder to breathe. When we get to the marriage clause, I’m about to have an anxiety attack.
Carly reads, “Elise will make a conscious effort to find a soul mate within the LeRoux clan. It is imperative she have more children to provide no fewer than five werebear and witch offspring, barring physical limitations.”
I inhale deeply to try to calm myself. I can’t even imagine kissing another man besides Ian, so how on earth would I ever have their children? My chest is so tight it might explode, and I try to suck in oxygen again so we can get through the whole contract before I burst. But it doesn’t work. I blurt out, “I won’t sign that.”
Brady and Carly stare at me, but neither gives away what they’re thinking, and since they don’t say anything, I assume they’re waiting for me to explain. I say, “I won’t just get married and produce more children because you say so.”
Brady speaks in a calm, even tone. “We are offering you the protection of this clan in exchange for what you can provide us. As you can see, we will not put your health in jeopardy, but we do require you to produce more powerful clan members. Let me make myself clear. This contract is not negotiable like a business deal. You came to us.”
I open my mouth to object, but Carly speaks before I can say anything. “Elise, I know this feels a bit like you’re being forced to do something you don’t want to do, but you need to remember the werebear world works differently than the human one.” She glances at Brady. “We make decisions based on what is best for the clan. I realize you don’t want to hear this, but you need us more than we need you. I suggest you take some time to think over what we’re proposing before rejecting any of it.”
I stare at her in shock for a moment before a mix of anger and desperation fill me. I do need them to keep my girls safe, but at what cost? I tamp down my despair and say, “I understand. Let’s read through the rest.” But I stop listening as I try to figure out how I’m going to get out of the mess I’ve created for myself, because the last thing I’m going to do is let someone else tell me what to do with my body.