Gaining Ground

by Nikki Bolvair

  “Because you’re smiling.”

  I was quiet for a minute, staring at the photo, and she was right. That photograph represented freedom. Freedom from judgment. I agreed with her and whispered, “I guess you’re right.”

  Sarah sighed. “About the job... I don’t know. What makes you think I can persuade Tom to agree?”

  I decided to lighten the mood, and a creepy grin spread across my face. I could smile. I got up out of my chair, edging away, knowing repercussions might end up coming my way. “You’re his wife, you’ll figure it out.”

  She glared at me. “That was uncalled for, Faith.”

  I shrugged, heading toward the door quickly. “You asked.”

  “Wait!” I turned to look back before heading out. “Tom wanted to take us tonight to see that new movie that's out.”

  I must have looked confused because she waved her hand dismissively in the air and said, “Since you’re on a dating freeze, he wanted to take us out on a family outing.”

  I felt that small kernel of warmth bloom within me when she said family outing, like I was truly one of them. I nodded.

  Sarah’s face grew soft. “It’s good to see you smiling, Faith.”

  I nodded again, uncomfortable with her observation. “Yeah...”

  “You should do it more often.”

  I waved her off and turned again to head out. “Yeah, yeah,” I said, like it was no big deal, but she was right. I was smiling more. The second part of my same little tune rang in my mind

  Smiles, smiles, Smiles, smiles

  Will I ever see them again?

  Hidden deep within myself, my light stays within.

  I was brought out of my musings by a text from Tyler.

  Tyler: Where are you?

  I sighed. Class must be over.

  Daniels: Sorry. Meet you at the Jeep. #Hacked

  I quickly made my way to the Jeep. Tyler was the only one there. He was leaning against the bumper with a phone up against his ear, busy talking to someone. When he saw me, he finished his call and smiled, pocketing the phone.

  “Sorry, it was a realtor calling. Wanted to know about one of our houses we have on the market.” I nodded, listening as we got in.

  “So, why weren't you in class?” he asked as he started up the Jeep and pulled out of our parking spot.

  “I went to see Sarah.” I wasn’t lying. Not really. I turned toward him as he slipped his hand into mine and gave it a quick squeeze, my heart jumped. Was it always going to be like that? “So, whatcha doing tonight?” I wanted to see if maybe he could show up at the theater.

  He glanced toward me then back to the road. “Working. Why?”

  I sat back, staring out my window, feeling a little defeated, but loving the feeling of his thumb sweeping across the top of my hand. “Brady’s taking Sarah and me to see that new movie.” I named the movie, and Tyler grinned.

  “Oh yeah, I forgot about that movie coming out. Maybe Lincoln could show up. You’ll have to tell me which theater so I can pass it on to him.”

  “I’m not sure yet, but I’ll let you know.”

  We sat in comfortable silence until he turned into our neighborhood. I could see that Sarah wasn’t home yet, but Brady’s police vehicle was there, along with an out of state car.

  Were the court people back?

  “Looks like someone's visiting you guys,” Tyler commented. He must have noticed the same strange car I had seen.

  “Looks like,” I said worriedly as he parked in his driveway. I turned my head to keep my gaze still on the car and house. I was hoping that I would get some clue as to what waited for me inside. I knew I already talked to them before, but why would they come back? Unless, something was discovered.

  “I’m here if you need me. Conveniently across the street,” Tyler reminded me, and I snorted.

  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  I hopped out of the truck and dropped a kiss onto Tyler's lips, before saying goodbye and heading over to my house. I needed my armor up. Not all people from my hometown were on my side.

  I opened the front door to find the entry empty. I heard voices coming from the kitchen, so I headed that way and found Brady there. He was with two other people. Brady saw me first from his spot at the table, while the other two were sitting with him. One sat in my usual chair, while the other one sat in a spare. They both turned toward me as Brady nodded my way. It was then that I realized it wasn’t the same people who had come before, while I was in the hospital. One was a man, while the other was a woman. The woman, I recognized. Neither one was from the courts. Not if she was with them.

  I froze as a memory came on so strong that it was so hard to shake off. It didn't matter. I was back in that same cold white room that I had seen so many times before.

  “Why deny it, Faith?” I was back at the police station, and Detective Yasmin was yet again questioning me. I was in the same room, working on my third foster home, my millionth time being there. The cold white walls were the same on that day as they had been the first time I had seen them. The only difference: I knew what kind of questions that would be thrown at me.

  “It’s almost been a year. I thought you finally believed me the last time,” I told her in a monotone voice as I looked toward the two-way mirror.

  “You’re the only one with answers, Faith. We need them. Did. You. Kill. Your. Father?”

  I turned to her, angry. I knew that’s what she wanted. Me. Angry. An emotion that could trigger a memory or a confession. Too bad for her that I didn’t have one. “No.” I wasn’t stupid enough to voice my doubts. And if I ever did, I would never make the mistake of sharing them with her. I took a deep breath and recited the same story. It was one I had repeated many times over, but was not one that she hoped to hear. Her face grew cold. I knew what was coming.

  “Well, maybe you need some time to think,” she said as she gathered up my files. She was going to leave me in the room, take her time and let my butt become numb from sitting too long. Hours it seemed. I had a plan to keep me busy and drive her crazy, because I was sure that two-way mirror was where she sat around and watched me while eating her lunch. This time, things were going to be different.

  She was almost to the door when I spoke. “I learned something.”

  Detective Yasmin turned with a raised brow. “And what is that?”

  “A regular mirror when you touch it has no gaps.” I nodded to the two-way mirror. “That one does.”

  She smiled tightly with her hand on the door ready to go out. “Well, this is a police station. Does that bother you, Faith? Do you really have something to hide?”

  I shook my head. “Never have. You just seem to think so. Can I get a soda before you abandoned me once again to sit in here and “think?" I believe it’s in my right to ask for one.”

  She left, and one of the officers came in with a Cherry DP. I was touched; she’d remembered.

  “Ah, Faith,” Brady, brought me back to present day as smiled at me, speaking first. “Come in. Let me introduce you to Detective Thomas and Detective Yasmin.” He swept a hand toward them as they stood. I didn’t move. “They’re here to ask some questions.”

  I stayed right where I was and just leaned against the door jamb. “How many times do I have to relive that night?” I asked, not once glancing toward Brady, but keeping an eye on Detective Yasmin. “I would like to know who it was, but don’t you think that this is becoming repetitive? Someone came out to talk to me already.”

  “But not us.” Yasmin stepped forward and held out her hand. “Detective Yasmin, but you already know me.”

  “Yep.” I clipped out, ignoring her hand. “So many “talks.” Still think I murdered my father?”

  “Faith! That was uncalled for.”

  I twisted my lips. I guess I was doing a lot of ‘uncalled for’ things today. “What?” I snapped toward Brady, who now seemed concerned. “Was I supposed to get cozy with them? With her?”

  “Faith,” Brady said in a wa
rning tone. “Be nice.”

  “It’s okay, Tom,” Yasmin spoke up. “Faith has a right to be upset. I was very... adamant... about solving the Daniels case, and we saw each other... often.”

  I snorted. “Often” was not the term I would have used to describe it. We’d seen each other constantly until they had ruled it a self-defense case. Now it was back open, and she was back. The case was “solved” a year after it happened, with the understanding that my mother could have hit him with enough force before she died. The new information in the case was sufficient reason to re-open it once again. Detective Yasmin still believed I did it, but that didn’t surprise me. I would never say it, but I couldn’t blame her too much. I had once believed it myself. So much time had passed that her reasons didn’t really matter to me anymore, but seeing her brought back the bad memories.

  “Charmed,” I said sarcastically, glancing toward Brady, whose eyebrows furrowed. He looked worried about the direction this was taking. I told Tyler I would help the courts any way I could, but it was hard to do that when you were once again standing before the very person who thought you murdered your father. There was also something else... a feeling. I had remembered something that was still tingling the back of my mind, and it was keeping me on alert. Maybe it was because this same detective put me on the defensive that I felt the need to defend my actions instead of help them. She had never given me the benefit of the doubt, but then again, I had struggled with it as well.

  “I know you’ve had a hard time—” Yasmin started off, but I interrupted.

  “I don’t need a speech. I’ve heard it before.”

  “Faith!” Brady shot out, but I ignored him. I pressed my lips together and waited to see what they were going to say. “I’m so sorry. She’s never been like this.”

  “Don’t worry,” Detective Thomas said with a small smile, glancing to Brady. “It just means she feels secure enough with you to act out.”

  I glared at him and then glanced at Brady. He looked a little bit better about everything. I seriously hated Yasmin. I mentally rolled my eyes. Whatever floated their boats.

  “Faith, will you tell us once again about that night?” Yasmin asked, sounding sincere. Her eyes were soft and un-accusing. It was an act. I was sure of it. “ We’re going to record it. I can promise you that after this we won’t be back. Not unless we absolutely need to.”

  “What? Don’t want another musical number or to watch me do cartwheels? Aww, no more bonding time?” I patronized her.

  Yasmin paused while her partner looked at me weirdly. “I could do without the live circus for once,” she said tightly. “Ready?”

  I gave a firm nod and agreed. Even though it was fun to prolong this by bringing up all the times she’d been issued a warning, I wanted to get this over with before we headed to the movies. At that point, I hadn’t known that what she was doing was borderline illegal. Bringing me into the police station so many times that first year was not protocol. I was too naive to know that. To know anything, really. I just wanted her to quit. So I annoyed her until it all stopped.

  “Faith?” Brady prompted.

  I frowned. I did want her gone. “Fine.”

  I sat down in an empty chair as they sat the recorder in the middle of the table. Detective Thomas pressed play then sat back.

  “It is Thursday, September 10th, 2015,” he recited. “This is the third and final testimony of one Faith Iris Daniels. Please state your name.”

  I sighed, looking at the device. Didn’t he already say it? “Faith Iris Daniels,” I told him in a bored tone. I glanced at Brady who gave me a smile of encouragement, and I told them what I remembered once again.

  When I finished and the detectives were about to leave, Detective Yasmin turned around to Brady and me. “You know, this person we’re looking for very well could be someone you know. Someone who’s familiar to you. If that's the case, they might want to try to get in touch with you. To gain forgiveness for what they did.”

  When she said this, I again thought about that neighbor who came forward. Maybe it was him? He did, after so many years, come forward with “new evidence." Could the new evidence really be his confession?

  “I never thought about that,” Brady stated, pondering on the new angle they presented.

  “Well, the case will most likely be updated, leads will be followed, but it’s been way too soon to say if this case will ever be solved.”

  “What if it was the neighbor?” I blurted out. Both detectives looked at me surprised. So did Brady.

  “What do you mean?” Detective Thomas asked, his eyes narrowed, calculating. I ignored Yasmin as I gesture toward her. “Think about what she just said. Maybe the neighbor didn't see someone going to the house; maybe it was him.”

  Yasmin and Thomas shared a looked before glancing back to me. “We’ll look into it,” he said, before opening our door to head out, but Yasmin paused mid exit. She turned back to me, her face remorseful. “I’m sorry,” she murmured, her eyes meeting mine. “I never...”—her shoulders slumped—“I’m sorry.” Then the door shut behind her.

  Emotions swirled when she said that. Either she was sincere or there was another play going on there. I was never sure with her.

  I sighed as I turned toward Brady. He looked upset, just like I felt. He grabbed a hold of me and pulled me into a tight hug. “I won’t let them come back again. I didn’t know it would make you feel like this, Faith.” He breathed in a deep, soulful breath. “If I had known she was like that with you—” He pulled back to hold my shoulders. He looked so angry. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a history? I would have—”

  I shook my head, moved away from him and pointed to the door. “You spent time with her for a bit today. Do you think she was someone who would listen? Maybe she was—” I put a finger to my chin as if I was remembering and then withdrew it in a flippant move. “Hardheaded? Back then she wouldn’t listen, and I honestly didn't know which side you were on at the time.”

  Brady took another deep breath and dragged his hand through his hair. “Yours, Faith. I'm always on your side. That's what fathers do.”

  “But you’re not—”

  “Don't you say it!” He shook his hand in the air dismissing what I was going to say. “Don’t say it. I—” He let his hand drop to his hip as he glanced down to the floor and then back to me. “You may not be my blood, but you are my daughter. You feel like mine, Faith. It doesn't matter what you call me, I will always be there like a father should. You deserve that, and I have been blessed for every damn moment I had to deal with you. Got it?”

  I was shocked and embarrassed. Brady had never spoken to me like that before. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised by what he said. He did treat me like family. He saved me. Cried for me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and I went to him, giving him a hug. My throat was tight and I needed a distraction. Neither of us did well with mushy stuff. I knew it was only time before the two of us started feeling awkward, so I did the only thing I could do to break it. “Can I call you Pops?”

  He drew back, his face scrunched up in displeasure. “I’m not that old.”

  I pouted. “But—”

  He snorted, moved away and started up the stairs. “Father, Brady, Tom even. But never Pops.”

  I smirked as he reached the top step. “Ok, Pa.”

  “Not that one either!” he yelled, not really upset. As he headed down the upstairs hallway, he called back, “Movies tonight! Six o’clock! Be ready!”

  HotShot scrambled up the stairs after Brady, leaving me alone. I sighed. I guess I could probably call Tucker’s grandmother about the job offer, and then when Sarah came home with the movie tickets, I could text Lincoln.

  Chapter 4

  I hurried up to my own room to put my stuff down, then I proceeded to fall back onto my bed.

  I curled up on my side and pulled the pillow that Tyler had slept on over to me, breathing in his lingering scent. I sighed, just resting there, thinking. I co
uldn’t believe that Detective Yasmin had been here. Even though I joked with Brady, seeing her shook me. It made me go back to the past, and I drifted once again to the last time I saw her.

  The man left, and I opened the can of soda, taking a sip, keeping my head down then started to quietly sing my little tune.

  Home, home, Home, home. Will I ever have one again? I have traveled place to place like unwanted change.

  Smiles, smiles, smiles, smiles. Will I ever see them again?Hidden deep within myself my light stays within

  Lost, Lost, Lost, Lost. Troubles caused, my soul defined. Memories fade, they won’t regain, the truth will be mine.

  Love, love, Love, love. Had it once but now it's gone. Broken pieces left of me, a canvas never complete.

  I had chanted that off and on. Then I had started getting creative, tapping on the table to the rhythm of the song. When my soda was all gone, the empty can became my instrument; the additional percussion really added something. I became tired of sitting and decided to add some moves to the routine. In between the melody I sung and the cartwheels I had been doing, my little performance had garnered enough attention that someone came in. Someone I hadn’t seen before.

  “What in the hell are you doing, little miss?” the officer asked when he came into the room, seeing me in mid turn.

  I finished and turned to him with a shrug. “I was told to wait. I always wait.”

  “For who?” he asked incredulously.

  He was wearing a different uniform than the others, which caught me off guard. If I had to guess, he was in higher authority than the others. And where was Detective Yasmin? I thought for sure she would’ve come out by now, but I was surprised to hear another voice fill the room from the mic.

  “Chief...” An unsure male voice filtered through the space. It was coming from an intercom system. “If you’d just come into the next room...” he hedged.

  My ears perked up at the word “Chief.” Maybe I’d get out of here sooner than I had in the past. And hopefully it would be without seeing Detective Yasmin again.