Fishy Queen (Drag Queen Beauty Pageant Book 2)

by Malachite Splinters

  I felt like I should be angry, but I didn’t even feel sad.

  I felt empty.

  Damaris’ eyes kept darting around, as if she was looking between the image of herself and the camera, trying to monitor her expression. She was frowning and didn’t look anywhere close to smiling.

  “Would you please tell me,” Damaris started, and the moment I heard her voice I realized how pissed she was. Her words were stilted, like they kept catching in her throat. “Why I got a message from Marcus Fong asking if I had any STDs.”

  Ah…

  “He did what?” I said, trying to arrange my face into the shape of outrage. “I can’t believe that, hon—”

  “And why he—” She gulped and tears spilled onto her cheeks. “Why did he have a video of—” She wiped the tears away angrily. “Well, you know what I’m talking about! You say it!”

  I shook my head. No-one could prove I had made that video.

  How did she know Anthony hadn’t made it?

  He could have set up his phone to record and propped it somewhere in the dressing room so it would capture the moment they both walked in.

  That was just one possibility. There were a lot of possible explanations, but she jumped immediately to blame me? Some faith she had in me.

  “Machyl,” Damaris said furiously. She looked like she was about to lose control. Her lip was trembling and I could see that she kept hiccoughing with sobs.

  I so badly wanted to end the call and just—I didn’t want to deal with this right now, that was all. But now that I was looking at her and she was so angry, I was getting angry, too.

  “So La Tata just showed up tonight,” I said. “How did that happen, exactly?”

  “I’ll tell you,” she said. “If you tell me.”

  I sighed. “Damaris, sweetie,” I said. “Did Marcus delete the video?”

  She glared at me. “Yes,” she ground out.

  “I knew he would,” I said, smiling. “He’s a decent human being. Of course he deleted it.”

  Her mouth fell open. She closed it again, blinking fast. “Did you delete it?” She asked.

  “Let me do that right now,” I said soothingly, navigating away from the chat and going into the media folder. I found the video, selected the trash can, and deleted it. “There,” I said. “All done. It’s gone. No trace of it left.”

  I went back to the call and saw that her expression had changed. Where before she had been puffy and indignant, her features twisted in anger, now a smooth mask of indifference had evened that all out.

  “Good,” she said. She didn’t tell me, but then I hadn’t told her either. Instead she said, “Explains why I had Anthony calling me crying last night to say you broke him and Marcus up.”

  I laughed gently, the picture of control. I could hold in and tame anger and other strong emotions, bend them to my will and channel them into productive actions.

  “Sweetie,” I said. “I think we all know who was responsible for breaking up Anthony and Marcus.”

  Her jaw tightened and she sat up straighter. She couldn’t keep up that indifferent look. Damaris was many things, but she wasn’t an actress. “Anthony sent Marcus a nude,” she said. “Do you want to see it?”

  Something crackled through my chest like lightning. I choked and gagged. “Ugh!” I gasped, pawing at my throat. “I think I’m going to get sick.” I sucked in a lungful of air. “Don’t talk about that kind of thing, please, Damaris.”

  She smiled slowly and let out a laugh. “You’re a good actor,” she said.

  I saw my image in the corner go bug-eyed and stare. “You think I’m acting?” I put my hand over my mouth. I was actually feeling kind of nauseous now.

  She shook her head. “I can’t believe you’ve come to this. I should have stopped going along with your behavior months ago, but I was weak. I was scared of losing you. But this is—this is the final straw, Machyl. If you can’t own up and apolo—”

  “Okay, Damaris, I’m sorry,” I said instantly. “I shouldn’t have made the video and sent it to Marcus. I’m really, truly sorry about that.”

  She stopped, frowned. “Okay,” she said, but as if to herself, as if asking herself a question.

  “You were laughing about the whole thing last night,” I continued, and she interrupted me.

  “Yeah, I was, with you, a close friend who I trusted, who knew all of the people involved and the context and the history,” she spat. “But you made a video without my permission. And then you didn’t tell me about it. And then you proceeded to send it to someone—not just anyone, to someone I used to date—in order to publicly slut shame me—”

  “That’s not why I did it,” I broke in.

  “I don’t care what was your intention,” she cut me off. “That video is nothing but three minutes of sex noises followed by me walking into the frame. Take it out of context and what the hell is it?”

  “I don’t know,” I shrugged. “Why are you asking me? You’re the one that made the noises.”

  She was shaking now. She was shaking in rage and the tears were falling again. “So—why—did—you—do—it?” She managed to get out between sobs.

  “Honey,” I said kindly. “Anthony was sleeping with you behind Marcus’ back. I was doing a public service letting Marcus know. You know Anthony was lying to him and everything.”

  The video feed went all crazy and then went black. She must have put the phone down on the bed. I could hear the sounds of her sobbing softly.

  “Are you upset because you’re really into Anthony?” I asked. “Is that what this is all about?”

  “No!” She burst out. The video was still black and her voice was a little muffled. I assumed the phone was face down in the comforter. “I’m upset because you betrayed me without even thinking, and now you’re not even sorry.”

  “I am sorry,” I insisted. “I didn’t intend for it to cause offense. The reasons behind it were well-intentioned.”

  “Then you didn’t think for more than a second before you did it. You didn’t consider my feelings for even a second. You don’t even know what your reasons are, do you?” Damaris’ voice was raw. “You’re so blind to it.”

  “Damaris,” I said in the same calming tone. “You’re not making any sense.”

  “You’re jealous,” she said.

  “Jealous?” I smiled. “Now, don’t you start thinking I’m jealous of you. We work together, right?”

  “You couldn’t hide your reaction when you heard me with Anthony,” Damaris said. “Your real reaction. You couldn’t hide it, could you? When I walked into the dressing room. You stormed out. I think I know why you made the video. You weren’t planning to use it against Anthony or me. You—you were just so furious at me, you had to record the moment.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know what to say to that,” I said. “You clearly like to come up with speculations. And it seems like you forgot I’m happily with my boyfriend of two years.”

  “You’ve always been jealous of my relationship with Anthony,” she said. “Ever since he arrived at the club. I don’t know why he didn’t take to you. I think you scared him that first time. He gets intimidated easily.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You don’t need to explain to me how immature he is. I’m well aware.”

  “Let me talk. I know you felt rejected. And you could see that he really liked me. But, I’m being real here, if you had just made the slightest amount of effort with Anthony, he would have warmed to you. He’s really sweet, it’s not just an act. But you had to go the complete opposite direction and treat him like shit all the time.”

  I navigated away from the call and checked the time, then started opening random apps and closing them again. I wasn’t really seeing any of them, my fingers were fidgeting and my eyes darting everywhere.

  “Every single thing you have done for the last—I don’t know how long—can be traced back to this—this obsession.”

  “Obsession?” I barked in alarm, so loudly tha
t a passing group of white girls, all with long flowing hair and dressed up for the night, jumped, looked for the source of the sound and when they saw me, looked so frightened I might as well have been a ghost, and they hurried away and immediately ducked through the blue and yellow facade of the Argentine bar on the other side of the bodega.

  “Admit it. You’re obsessed with him.”

  “Obsessed with who?”

  “With Anthony.”

  I raised my eyebrows. The screen was still black so I couldn’t show her my nonplussed expression.

  “So…” I said. “This delusion is why you betrayed me?”

  “Actually,” she said. “I wouldn’t say anything to him before. He feels targeted by you, unsurprisingly. But I told him to take it up with you. But after I found out what you did with the video, I decided he has a right to know. So I told him how you were plotting to make him look bad to DT by lying to him about the rehearsal times, and also how you were lying about the auditions to manipulate that situation to your advantage. And I told him that I think you have feelings for him and you are very confused and conflicted about them and that’s why you treat him so bad. I just think he needs to know that if he’s going to go back to House Ellegrandé.”

  There were very few times in my life when I had been rendered speechless. This was one of them.

  “You’re hurting people by being this way,” Damaris said. “Most of all yourself.”

  “Feelings?” I croaked.

  “Yes,” Damaris said. “I know you can’t admit this to yourself, but you like him.”

  “You and Marcus were in a love triangle with Anthony, don’t try to drag me into this as well.”

  “I’ve thought about that,” she said calmly. “But actually, it was Marcus admitting to both of us that he liked Anthony that set you off. I wasn’t part of the picture until, you know, Saturday night. But that was because Anthony liked me. I never liked him, not in that way. So, really, it was you and Marcus liking Anthony while Anthony liked me.”

  “As Marcus Fong would say, you’re bonkers,” I said matter of factly. “And you broke the trust between us. It’s good that you left already. I don’t know how I would keep working with you after this.”

  “That’s fine,” she replied coldly. “You sent a intimate video of me into the world to possibly become revenge porn and ruin my life. I have more self-respect than to continue being friends with a backstabbing bitch like you.”

  “Fine,” I replied.

  “Fine,” she replied.

  And I hung up the call.

  My food had just arrived when Clarion Call said it.

  “Giltie Conshens, would you like to join us at House of Cosmosis tonight?”

  I glanced up at him. He had his fork and knife raised over a plate of some kind of pasta or something. What, was going to eat pasta with a knife?

  I blinked. “What did you say?” I said, before remembering that I needed to be friendly, and cursing my forgetfulness.

  “We have a private table at House of Cosmosis tonight,” Anthony said, leaning forward from his place next to Clarion Call and looking down the table at me. “I thought it might be a good idea to watch their new show. We can get some inspiration for our new show.” He smiled around at everyone.

  “A private table,” I repeated. The drill sergeant was bellowing at my smile, and it still wouldn’t get up off the ground and stand to attention.

  “So sweet of you to do that,” Lucky Penny reached across the table and squeezed Anthony’s arm. “This is such a nice welcome. You gals are just adorable!”

  Trying to look more adorable, I finally managed to mould my face into a grimace and hoped it didn’t contrast too much with the daggers shooting out of my eyes at Anthony Alcantara.

  So Damaris had even told him about my plan to invite the girls to Cosmosis. And he had one-upped me by booking a private table!

  The last time I heard what they cost was a few years ago, so the price had probably gone up since then, but it had been in the hundreds of dollars per night.

  As if I could compete with Anthony Alcantara in terms of money.

  Well, he was going to have this victory and it was going to turn to ashes in his mouth.

  Like the sun rising on the smoking remains of a charred battlefield and lighting the faces of the corpses and the just-dead, I would look down on the destruction of Anthony Alcantara which I myself had wreaked.

  Giltie Conshens was going to destroy La Tata, as surely and completely as the departing army had razed the enemy to the ground with fire.

  I stood up from my chair, taking my glass of vino verde with me, and went around the back of Clarion Call and stood behind La Tata and put my hand on her shoulder. She glanced up at me in surprise.

  “Sisters,” I said, raising my glass. “Can I just say how delighted I am to meet you both and how happy I am that the drag mothers chose you to join House Ellegrandé.”

  The two girls both grinned and raised their glasses and we all toasted and drank.

  I set my glass down on the table and, leaning down, wrapped my arms around Tata in a sisterly hug. As my mouth drew close to her ear, I whispered, “This means war.”

  I drew back, but she caught my forearm in a hard grip and pulled me back down, pulling my ear to her mouth. “Bring it on,” she muttered, and then looked at me with a big smile and laughed, maintaining the act perfectly.

  I grinned back and laughed right back at her, took my glass and went back to my spot. I drained the glass, letting the tart and sweet wine roll over my tongue and run cool down my throat, and refilled it from the glass decanter in the middle of the table.

  I looked down at my food. I had ordered the cod, which I knew was a Portuguese speciality, and I normally liked fish, but just at the moment, I wasn’t sure if I could eat.

  I glanced at Anthony, who seemed to have sunk deep into conversation with the other two about the benefits and drawbacks of Booklyn. The light kept glancing off the hardware in his hair as his braids shook with his nods and head flicks.

  I had never seen Anthony step up the way he had today when he walked into the dressing room. He had never pulled a move like the one tonight, where he took my Cosmosis idea and ran with it.

  And he had never, ever challenged me directly like he had just now.

  I took another large gulp of wine.

  If it wasn’t Anthony, I might actually be impressed.

  “Girls, I get motion sick and I need to be in the front,” Lucky Penny announced as he went around the front of the car and got in the passenger side door.

  “Anthony, you go in the middle, you’re the smallest,” Clarion said as he climbed into the car.

  Anthony followed and I guessed that put me last. I got in, and closed the door, scrunching myself against it, trying to make sure that no part of my body touched Anthony’s, but it wasn’t to be.

  It was a tight fit in the backseat and my leg was flush against his and I immediately started to feel his heat bleeding into me and I wished I wasn’t here.

  His proximity extended to his shoulder touching mine and his braids flicking against my face when he turned his head quickly, laughing at something Clarion had said.

  I noticed the fragrance he was wearing. It had invaded my nostrils when I fake-hugged him earlier and I had kept catching whiffs of it all through dinner, as if it had rubbed off on me somehow.

  The top notes were very sweet, with a smoky and spicy undertone which made me think of incense rising from a temple while dawn colors still streaked the sky.

  And now it was in my nostrils again, along with the faint trace of mint on his breath as he looked down at his phone, which glowed in the dark interior of the car.

  What did Damaris say?

  I told him that I think you have feelings for him.

  I pressed my lips together and tried to ignore his physical presence so close against me.

  He didn’t actually believe what she had said, did he?

  I felt a stra
nge quaver through my chest, like my innards had flickered in TV static.

  Of course he didn’t believe it.

  No-one in their right mind would believe a thing like that.

  A song came on the radio. Everyone recognized it instantly. It was Oh My Darla’s biggest hit, Country Hos.

  Lucky Penny crowed for joy and high-fived the driver. “What did I tell you girls about this car service?” She giggled. “Queer Cars, all the drivers are gay, it’s amazing!”

  Clarion leaned forward to address the driver. I glanced over and noticed how tightly his leg was against Anthony’s and looked away again.

  “Are you gay?” Clarion asked the driver, who looked to me like a New York Italian.

  “When I was born,” the driver grinned into the rear view mirror. “The doctor handed my mother a copy of Out in NYC. That was how obvious it was.”

  The two white girls laughed and Anthony joined in.

  I still had the big fake smile on my face but I felt so detached from all of them. I was well on my way to drunk but it wasn’t making me feel any better.

  Anthony’s fragrance was in my head again. It seemed like I couldn’t find an air pocket that was free of it in this cab.

  He moved and leaned forward, speaking to Lucky Penny in the front, and when he settled back in his seat, another wave of it washed over me, and I caught other elements of his scent, as well.

  There was the mint—breath—and then something fresh that I thought might be shower gel, and I thought I might have caught the scent of his skin because he had taken off his faux fur coat and lain it across his lap, so his arms and shoulders were exposed.

  “Alright!” Lucky Penny called. “Let’s do this thing, girls!”

  I looked out of the window and realized that we had arrived.

  The others were all laughing and waving good-bye to the driver and clambering out of the other side of the car. I got out on my side and slammed the door shut.

  As the car pulled away, I looked up at the facade of House Cosmosis.

  The building had been built in the early twentieth century as a public library, and it was grand and neo-classical, with columns and carved lions and giant urns bedecking the front.