The Naive Bumblebee

by Holly Smith

  “Yeah, I’m all right,” Nelise said. I wish I could talk to you, Auntie, but I wouldn’t know how to explain what I know which is probably why I’m not allowed to talk about it. Ugh!

  “I’m sure he’ll turn up sooner or later. Meanwhile, live your life, Nelise. You only make this trip once, you know.”

  “Yeah, I know.” If only you knew the truth, Auntie; if only you knew.

  Nelise was so unsettled by the whole occurrence that she stopped at the liquor store to get more beer. When she got home, she opened one, put the rest in the refrigerator and sat at the table in the dark. She drank while looking blankly at the bottle.

  I can’t just sit here with my nerves on edge, and I can’t go to Garden like this. I guess I’ll see what Petal is up to. She picked up the phone and dialed Petal’s number.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, Petal; it’s me. Whatcha doin?”

  “Byron and I are going through boxes and sorting through stuff. Why? What’s going on with you?”

  “Oh, nothing much. I’ll check in with you another time.”

  “You’re welcome to come over for coffee, Nelise.”

  “It’s OK, Petal, really. Talk with you later.”

  “All right then, later.”

  Geeesshhh. I guess I’ll see if I can hang out with Auntie and Stanley.

  She kept getting the answering service on Gertie’s phone. I can’t leave a message after the way I just left her.

  At that moment, another thought came to her mind.

  Good grief. Am I really so desperate that I’m going to call Vince? She tried Pam’s number even though she was not really close to her and got her voicemail too. She finally dialed Vince’s number. I’ll probably get his voicemail anyway, she rationalized.

  “Hello.”

  “Uh . . . Hi, Vince.”

  “Bumblebee? What’s going on? Are you moving again?” he joked.

  “Very funny. No, I wanted to hang out with someone. I have some beer. Do you want to come drink with me?”

  “Sure, I’ll drink with you, but I’d prefer to go out somewhere. I’ll pick you up on the bike,” he said and hung up.

  No, wait! Oh no, I don’t want to go out anywhere much less ride his motorcycle! Why did I call him! She freshened up and dabbed on lipstick. When she opened the door to leave, he was standing there ready to knock.

  “That was fast; how did you get in?”

  “Somebody buzzed me in. What’s up, Bumblebee; something bothering you?” he asked as they headed for the elevator.

  “Yeah. Now that Petal is married, I lost my drinking buddy.”

  “I’m not much of a drinker but I’ll do my best to be your buddy.”

  They put on their helmets and mounted the bike. Vince revved the engine and took off.

  Nelise had no idea where he was going as they began to pass streets and houses and then an old farm. It reminded her of the ride she took with Esleen in Garden. She swallowed hard while trying to convince herself she didn’t make a mistake in calling him.

  Just when she was about to say something, they rounded a corner and pulled into the parking lot of Marbles Café. After they were seated, Vince ordered a couple of beers and a pizza.

  “Hmm; who named it Marbles?” Nelise asked, somewhat disinterestedly.

  “The owner’s nickname is Marbles. He used to collect them. See that wall down at the end? It’s covered with them,” Vince explained.

  “How do you know that?”

  “He’s a friend of mine. So, what’s got your bubble off center?”

  Nelise couldn’t help smiling. She’d never heard anyone talk quite like him, his green eyes intrigued her, and she had to admit, he wasn’t bad to look at.

  “Hey! Give me a medal!” Vince exclaimed, startling her.

  “What? Why do you say that?”

  “For all the times I’ve seen you, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you spontaneously smile. I’ll take credit for this one,” he said, patting his own back.

  “I’ll give you that,” Nelise said, waving to the waitress for more beer.

  “You already drank that whole bottle? I’m not going to be able to keep up with you, Bumblebee.”

  “I hope not. Then we’d have to call a cab.”

  “No doubt. What’s troubling you?” Vince asked earnestly.

  “Life.”

  “I don’t mind if you don’t want to tell me, but I can’t be any help if you don’t,” he said.

  “I just wanted to hang out and drink; I figured you’d ask a lot less questions than Petal does,” Nelise said and forced a smile.

  “Do you ever answer hers? Because you haven’t answered mine yet. Or does that happen after a few more beers?”

  Nelise began to regret calling him. What was I thinking? There is nothing I can really talk to him about. She took a few gulps of the next bottle.

  “I’m disturbed that my aunt started dating a younger man,” she fibbed.

  “Really? Why would that bother you? Does it mess up your relationship with her?”

  “No. It just doesn’t make sense. What could she possibly have in common with him?”

  “As if it were any of your business, Bumblebee. For one thing, most women outlive their men these days. Maybe she feels being younger, he’d be with her longer.”

  “Gee, I hadn’t thought of that. You think that’s why?”

  “Oh, I don’t know . . . who can know another’s mind? And who wants to?” He laughed and took a bite of pizza. “Does that really bother you, or is that just filler because you don’t want to tell me the truth?”

  Nelise felt her face get hot. He nailed it. How could he know?

  “So what if I don’t?”

  “No problem here. I’ll sit here as long as you want anyway just to make sure you get home all right,” he said jovially. “Well, as long as I can get some sleep tonight.”

  “Yeah, you’re right.” She gulped down the rest of the beer. “Let’s go.”

  “OK, Bumblebee. You’re the boss.”

  “I am? I like the sound of that,” she responded with a chuckle, surprising herself.

  “Yes, for now,” he said with a wink as they headed for the door.

  They rode back to her apartment in silence. He took a longer route back which she liked. It was cooler and dark. She liked feeling the wind rushing past her as they moved. Suddenly she felt a tingling feeling run through her body. No! I’m not letting go of Loyle! This isn’t my invisible lover, no way, no how, she told herself adamantly.

  Vince let her off in front of her apartment. While she was taking off her helmet, he said, “Thanks for calling me, Bumblebee.”

  “Whatever . . . thanks for hanging out with me,” she said, placing the helmet on the back of the bike.

  Vince nodded and rode away.

  Well, if that wasn’t a weird night out. He didn’t seem bothered by it though. If I were him, I wouldn’t put up with me. But then, who knows? Maybe he was bored himself. He’s so good looking; there must be girls after him all the time. Ugh. Forget that! I’ve got to figure out how to find Loyle. Should I go to Garden? Yes, gotta go now.

  “Nelise! Hi! There you are, all lit up again.”

  “I confess. This time I was drinking.”

  “Nelise, you are funny sometimes. You think we, in Garden, don’t know about you but it’s you who doesn’t seem to know about you. I’m glad you are beginning to put Loyle aside; it’s better for you. What do you want to do on this visit?”

  “I want to walk by the ocean in the moonlight.”

  In a moment, they were at the oceanside with a full moon overhead. They walked and walked while Nelise enjoyed feeling the ocean waves rippling over her feet as her toes gripped the rolling pebbles. She felt invigorated after the long walk and sat down on the sand with Esleen next to her.

  “Anything on your mind?” Esleen inquired.

  “Esleen, is Loyle on a different world than me right now?”

  “You could say it that
way. Why do you ask?”

  “Does that mean I’ll never see him again?”

  “Not necessarily. It depends on whether or not you are both focusing on similar ideas in the same time frame. If that happens, you could run into each other again.”

  “How do I do that?”

  “It’s not something you do; it happens or it doesn’t.”

  “I was afraid you were going to say something like that. I’m going to sleep now. Good night,” Nelise said downheartedly as the beer took effect.

  “Good night, Nelise.”

  Chapter 34

  Sunday was overcast and rainy so Nelise stayed in bed longer than usual.

  Why get up? There’s nothing for me to do anyway and I don’t want to be with a couple even if it is with my aunt or Petal. I should go to Garden. She got up, made coffee, and put toast into the toaster. I could check out an antique shop; maybe I’ll do some window shopping.

  She drank her coffee, took a bite of toast and disinterestedly threw the rest away. She put on jeans and a top and skipped the makeup. Garden and makeup will have to wait; I’m just not in the right frame of mind for it.

  On the way to the shop, she drove by Vince’s house. She saw lights on as she drove by. Cool, he’s home alone too. Wait a minute; how would I know that? Oh, who cares anyway; I can’t be concerned about him!

  Nelise didn’t find anything of interest at the antique shop and was feeling hungry. She suddenly had the urge to eat with abandon which hadn’t happened to her since getting the book from MG. She drove around looking for a place where she wouldn’t run into anyone she knew. She felt as if she was an unwilling occupant on a runaway train. She ended up at an out of town restaurant tucked behind a streetside shopping mall. There weren’t many customers so she went in and sat at an inconspicuous table. She ordered a beer and looked over the menu which listed mostly barbecue items. She waved to the waitress, who came right over.

  “What can I get for you?” the waitress asked, pen and pad ready for Nelise’s order.

  “I’ll have the barbecue chicken with salad and a vegetable . . . . No, on second thought, make it the barbecue chicken and shrimp with fries.”

  “OK, half a chicken with shrimp,” the waitress began.

  “A half chicken? No, I want a whole chicken, and bring another beer too, please.”

  “It will be extra, OK?”

  “Yes, fine.” Gosh, I haven’t eaten this way in a long time but what’s the point of losing weight anyway? My friends’ lives are changing for the better but what about mine? And “I” am the one going to Garden! Ugh. Interesting, they have a jukebox here. Now that’s an antique.

  She played songs while waiting for her food. After the server placed her order on the table, Nelise grabbed a chicken leg without hesitation. It was as if she hadn’t eaten in months and with the first bite, her addiction went into full swing as she quickly followed that with a shrimp.

  Nelise continued eating as the squeaky front door opened. The hostess welcomed the customers from across the room telling them to sit where they wanted.

  “How’s this, Lynel?”

  Nelise froze, second chicken leg in midair, at the sound of the familiar voice. She turned around in time to see Loyle sitting down across the table from his male friend. His back was to her and he hadn’t seen her. She quickly wiped her hands and mouth.

  My opportunity to speak to him has arrived! Now to get him alone. If I go up to him, it could be awkward. She heard him tell his partner that he was going to the restroom and rushed ahead of him into the ladies’ room to wash off the barbecue sauce and put on lipstick. Oh, I wish I’d taken more care with my looks this morning! She heard the water running in the men’s room and rushed out the door pretending to look for something in her purse until he came out. When he did, she looked up at him and he looked at her for a minute before recognizing her.

  “Nelise?” he asked, looking startled. “How have you been?”

  “Good, Loyle, and you?”

  “Good, good. What are you doing here? Are you here with someone?”

  “No, just traveling and stopped for a quick lunch.”

  “Oh . . . would you like to join us? I’m here with . . . ,” Loyle faltered.

  “No! I mean, that is to say, I don’t want to intrude on your meal. But do you think we could get together for a coffee and chat sometime soon?”

  “Well, I’m pretty busy these days and we are only in town for today. Listen, while I have the chance, I want to apologize for not contacting you but things got so crazy and hectic. I found a position in another town once I graduated and had to move right away. I always planned on calling you but by the time I did, your number was disconnected and you were no longer at your apartment. I couldn’t remember your aunt’s last name or how to get to her house. Aside from all that, I wasn’t sure how to explain my situation to you so I kept putting it off. Could we meet for a short time tonight?”

  “No, Loyle; I understand. I’m leaving town after lunch so tonight isn’t possible. We can catch up at another time but I just want to know . . . are we still friends?”

  Just then Loyle’s cell phone buzzed and he glanced at it.

  “Sorry, got to get back to the table. Yes, Nelise, we’ll always be friends if that’s what you want.”

  “Of course it is. I guess you’d better get back. Have a good lunch, Loyle.”

  “Uh . . . , all right then, you too, Nelise,” he said slowly, then walked away.

  Nelise hurriedly paid the waitress and left without going back to her table.

  UGH! UGH! UGH! What the heck was that? If that’s what I want? No, it isn’t what I want! How can you ask me that, Loyle? Am I supposed to tell you to leave your boyfriend for me right now and believe that you could? Or shall I say that I never want to see you again because of him? I didn’t even get to eat my meal!

  Nelise got into her car and drove off after taking one last look at Loyle through the window. Hot, stinging tears streamed down her face as she drove away. My one shot and this is what it came to, she thought forlornly. Weird that I went there to eat myself into oblivion and that’s when I run into him! He’s put on some extra weight lately. Dammit! Who cares about that! What do I do now?

  Nelise was glad for the long ride home. It helped soothe her and gave her time to think. I guess I should be glad the ol’ shift thing gave me that opportunity. Will I ever have another chance or, are we doomed to be in different worlds forevermore? I can’t believe I didn’t ask for his number or where he lived or anything! On the other hand, why didn’t he ask me?

  She answered her own question: For obvious reasons, Nelise; get ahold of yourself. Her stomach was upset and she felt lonelier than ever, as if all her dreams had been dashed like ocean waves against rocky cliffs.

  She went into her apartment, pulled a beer from the fridge and drank it sullenly. It’s a good thing I have to go to work tomorrow. I don’t know what I’d do with myself. Maybe if I drink enough, I’ll be able to get into Garden. She opened a bag of chips and got another beer. At least I didn’t eat all that food; thank you, Loyle, for that small favor.

  By the time she finished her second beer, she was too mellow to care about going to Garden. But she still felt let down and lonely. She picked up the phone and dialed Vince’s number without thinking.

  “Hello, Bumblebee; what’s going on?”

  “Do you want to drink with me again? This time, I’ll buy.”

  “You don’t have to buy. Your presence is payment enough. I’ll be there in a few.” The phone clicked.

  Did he really just say that? This guy sure knows how to schmooze women. What do I care? I just want a drinking buddy.

  He picked Nelise up in the truck since it was rainy. She hadn’t applied any makeup or changed her clothes nor did she care.

  “Where were you drinking at, Bumblebee? You smell like a fast-food kitchen,” he said, observing at her more closely while driving.

  “Yeah? I went out to eat but so
meone showed up and took away my appetite.”

  “Oh, I see. You must have had more than a few beers this time since you are more talkative,” he said with a smile.

  Nelise went silent. Do I care what you think at this point? What’s the use since my dreams are dissolving before my very eyes!

  “I suppose so. Anyway, how’s life treating you, Vince?” Nelise asked to change the subject.

  “I can’t complain. Well, I could but who’d listen?” he said humorously.

  “If someone would listen, what would you complain about?” Nelise asked, wondering what he would say.

  “I would complain about not having the girl of my dreams in my life the way I want.”

  Nelise went silent again. Geez, what do I say to that?

  “So what is the girl of your dreams like?”

  “She’s pretty and spunky; she can be forward but not too much, she’s got a sense of humor, and she looks good whether she’s wearing makeup or not. I’ll tell you more when I get to know her.”

  “OK, I’ll leave it at that then,” Nelise said to end it right there. You really think that about me? Really? Hmmm. Could he possibly be speaking about someone else?

  He pulled into Marbles Café again and they sat at the same table as before. He ordered a couple of beers and some fries and sat back in his chair.

  “So, Miss Nelise, tell me the story. Have you heard from that ex-boyfriend of yours yet? Is that who ruined your appetite?”

  “Well, as a matter of fact, yes. I ran into him and a . . . friend. I wanted to talk to him but the time wasn’t right. I’ve been waiting all this time for an explanation of why he dropped out of sight and all I got out of him was that he got his degree, found a new job and moved. He said by the time he called me, my number was disconnected, blah blah, blah. Then his . . . friend,” she was saying, when Vince interrupted.

  “So he’s gay? And he didn’t tell you?”

  Nelise envisioned jumping over the table onto Vince and beating his face in but at the same time, the fact that he put it out there so blatantly made her confront it head on.

  “Gee, does it make you feel good to be so direct with me?” she belligerently responded.

  “Of course not, Bumblebee, but it seemed like that was what you were getting at. Maybe it took him some time to realize it and when he did, he didn’t know how to tell you. Just leaving you like that gave him an out; you would hate him and go on with your life and he wouldn’t have to confess to you. That makes sense to me,” Vince offered as a plausible explanation.