Holiday Loves
Page 28
He whispers in my ear after he lies me down on the bed. I’m in a half-daze and barely make out the words before my eyes close.
“I love you.”
* * *
* * *
I wake up in his bed later that night. His head’s between my legs, and he licks me from just above my ass all the way to my clit in one long stroke.
“Jesus, Tom.” My words are a purr as he takes his fingers deep and hits my g-spot.
He looks up at me like nobody else in the world exists, and I nearly burst into tears at the love in his eyes.
“At the end of summer—”
I cut him off. “I’m so close. Please don’t stop.” I don’t want to hear what he has to say next. I’m too fragile, too exposed right now.
Instead of doing whatever he wants, like he’d usually do, he kisses his way up my stomach. When he gets to my mouth, he slides into me.
It’s different than all the other times we’ve been together. He’s being gentle—sweet.
Every thrust is agonizing in the tenderest of ways.
He’s making love to me.
“God, I don’t want this to end.” His words are stained with pain.
In response, I angle my hips, taking him deeper. I feel every stroke of his cock and every beat of his heart.
I drag my nails slowly down his back. “I love you.”
“Fuck, I love you, too.” His voice is shaky as he comes deep inside me.
A tear sluices down my cheek, and I wipe it away before he sees.
We lie there in bed, both afraid to fall asleep. Falling asleep means tomorrow will be here, and tomorrow is one day closer to our inevitable end. His head nuzzles into my shoulder, and I run my fingers through his hair.
Tom Carver is one of the richest men in the world, and he loves me. He wants me.
Hannah.
What would she really think?
My eyes roll over to the doorway.
Shit!
* * *
“You have got to be fucking kidding me. Really, Dad?” Hannah stands there, in the doorway to my room, glaring with her arms folded across her chest.
I hold up a hand at her. “Not now. I’ll be out in five.”
Hannah glares at Rose.
My jaw clenches at the way she stares at her, and my arms tighten around Rose. Hannah just stands there, processing.
Rose won’t look at her. She buries her face against my chest like it’s all a bad dream, and her body trembles under my touch.
“I said I’ll be out in five. Go!”
Hannah marches down the hall.
“She’s gone.”
Rose still won’t look at me. I feel the tears on my chest. It’s hell, and I only have myself to blame. The two women I care most about in the world are both hurting, and I can’t take care of both of them at the same time.
“Rose, look at me.”
She shakes her head, and I use my index finger to lift her chin and angle her face up to mine.
The look on her face kills me. It’s all my fault for letting this happen.
“It will be fine. Okay?”
“Y-you d-don’t know that. She h-hates me.”
“She’s confused right now. It’s a lot for her to take in.”
Rose starts to say something, and I cut her off.
“I’ll take care of this. But, it will all be fine. Okay?”
Rose nods against my finger, but I don’t know if I believe her or not. It has to feel like the end of the world for her.
“I need to go talk to Hannah.”
“O-okay.” Rose looks away.
“Hey?”
Her eyes dart back to mine.
“Will you be all right for a few minutes?”
“Y-yeah.”
“Be honest with me. Because I will stay here as long as you need me. But, this has to be dealt with at some point.”
Rose pauses for a few seconds. “No, it’s okay. Go.”
“Okay.”
* * *
* * *
“Jesus Christ, Dad.” Hannah paces back and forth in my home office.
“It just happened. I love her.”
“She’s a gold-digging whore. And you don’t know what love is. You expect me to believe you suddenly found love with one of my best friends? You make me sick right now.”
My hands ball into fists at my sides when she calls Rose a whore, but I have to maintain my composure in front of my daughter. I’m sure this was quite a shock to her. I need to change the subject, until her emotions calm down. “Why are you home early? You weren’t supposed to be here for another two weeks.”
“Steven’s grandma’s sick. We had to fly back early.” She looks away at the wall, and her eyes turn back to me. “And that’s beside the point. You’re fucking my roommate. I’m going to need therapy.”
“Stop being so dramatic.”
Before she can argue further, the sound of a door closing catches my attention.
“Are you even listening to me?” She folds her arms across her chest.
“Wait.” I hold up a finger. “Be quiet for a second.” I rush to the guestroom, and it’s empty. Rose’s stuff is missing. She’s gone.
I run to the front door and throw it open in time to see the elevator door closing. Tears streak down Rose’s cheeks. The sight of her in pain nearly brings me to my knees.
Not like this.
I sprint to the emergency stairwell, praying I’m fast enough to cut her off in the lobby.
“Let her go.” Hannah’s voice lands in my ears from behind me.
I ignore her. There’s no way I can let Rose go. I take the stairs two at a time. By the time I reach the lobby, I’m spent. My chest heaves up and down in huge waves as I try to suck air into my lungs.
I can’t stop, though. My bare feet smack on the tiles of the lobby as I run to the elevator.
It’s empty.
Rose is nowhere in sight.
I walk out the front doors and look both ways down the street.
She’s gone.
Nowhere to be found.
“Fuck!” My voice echoes off the buildings.
I turn around and walk through the doors once more. When I get back to my apartment, I try her cell, but it goes straight to voicemail.
I send her text after text. She ignores them.
‘Where would she go?” I glance up at Hannah.
“Like I’d tell you if I knew. Pay one of your investigators if you want her so bad.” Hannah glares, but ever since I returned, her mouth has been curled slightly more toward a smile.
“You’re a spoiled fucking brat.”
Hannah’s eyes go wide. “Fuck you.” She storms off to her room.
I never talk to her that way. What the hell is wrong with me?
My blood still boils at the thought of Rose being gone from my life.
I sweep everything on my desk to the floor. Glass shatters and papers fly everywhere. “Fuck!”
* * *
One month later
I couldn’t hang around and face Hannah. We haven’t spoken since she caught me with Tom. I didn’t return to school, either. How could I face her? Who would she tell?
I reach down and put both my hands on my stomach.
I’m two months pregnant with Tom Carver’s baby, and I have no idea what to do.
I know I should tell him.
But Hannah hates me, and he’s probably forgotten all about me by now. If I tell him, he’ll think I want money.
I don’t. I don’t want anything but him. He’ll never believe that, though.
When I first left, he tried for weeks to contact me. He sent flowers, cards, gifts. At one point, Walter showed up at my parent’s house.
Now, I’m living with my uncle on his horse farm. As far away from Tom and Hannah as possible so I can figure this out.
I hate that I ruined my friendship with Hannah, but what I hate most is that I hurt their relationship.
My uncle doesn’t ev
en know I’m pregnant. I keep telling myself it’s not real, but the morning sickness begs to differ.
I have a job at a local diner. It’s not much, but the tips are decent enough that eventually I can move off the ranch and into my own apartment.
Living here is a huge change from the corporate environment of the city.
I finish filling the salt and pepper shakers at the end of my shift when the door chimes.
I look up.
It’s Hannah.
What the hell?
She’s standing there, staring. “Hey, can we, umm, talk?”
I stand there for a few seconds, trying to process whatever this is.
How’d she find me?
I shrug. “Yeah. Give me a sec.”
She nods and walks off to a booth in the back.
“Can I get you anything?”
She shakes her head. “No. Take your time.”
I nod. It takes me about five minutes to count out my tips, finish a few closing duties, and clock out.
I have no idea why she’s here. She has the same eyes as Tom, and I nearly crumbled just seeing the color. I miss him so much, more than I care to admit.
I don’t know if I’ll ever love someone the way I do him. Sure, the sex was great, but I fell for him.
Hard.
He was so controlling, and yet so sweet at the same time. I want to be in his arms. I don’t want to live on a fucking ranch, waiting tables. But I can’t allow my heart to be crushed like that again.
I sling my apron in my locker and grab my purse.
I place a dollar bill on the counter and grab a bottle of Sprite. It helps settle my stomach.
Taking a deep breath, I slide into the booth across from Hannah. I hate this tension between us. It makes it twice as hard. If this had happened with anyone else, she would’ve been the person I’d have gone to. We used to talk about everything—almost like sisters.
I don’t blame her for hating me. I’d hate me too if I walked in on her and my dad. I can’t imagine how she must’ve felt.
“How are you?”
I peel the label off the Sprite, anything to keep my eyes from facing judgment. “I’m okay.”
“Really? You don’t look okay.” Her words are blunt. She’s never had much of a filter.
“My stomach’s been upset.”
“I owe you an apology. I shouldn’t have said some of the things I did.”
“You really don’t have to do this. I don’t blame you for hating me. I hate myself for what I did. But—”
“But you love him?”
I can’t talk anymore because my voice might crack. I can already feel tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.
“He loves you too, you know? I’ve never seen him like this. He doesn’t sleep. He works way too much.” Her eyes widen on the last part. “He sulks around everywhere. I think he’s depressed.”
I cover my mouth with my hand. I figured he’d already have another woman by now. He’s Tom Carver. It’s not like he’d have to try hard to replace me. My stomach twists in a knot, thinking of him in the same kind of pain I’m in.
“You think he loves me?”
“I know he does.”
“So why are you here? How’d you find me?”
“I came here for my dad. We don’t always get along, but I do care about him. If you make him happy, I won’t stand in the way.”
“Are you sure? Do you really mean that?”
Her eyes narrow. “I’m just—” She blows out a sigh. “It’s hard to process—this. But, I’ll find a way. I know he can’t go on the way he is right now.”
“I’m pregnant.” The words tumble out of my mouth.
Hannah’s eyes widen. “Jesus Christ with you two.” She shakes her head. “Sorry, just—wow. You really should warn people when you’re gonna drop bombs like that. Wow. Okay.” She takes a deep breath, and then smiles.
“You okay?”
“Yeah. No. Fuck. I think maybe I’m in shock. This is all just so—unorthodox. That’s a good word for it, I guess.” She laughs.
“What now?”
“Go back to him.” She stares at me like I’m some kind of strange-looking bug. “He needs you. And it seems like you’re going to need him too.” She glances down at my stomach.
* * *
Two Weeks later
Henry, my secretary, knocks on the door. “Sir, there’s a woman here. She doesn’t have an appointment.”
“I told you not to disturb me. Get her name and number. Set something up later.” I wave her off and return to the contract on my desk.
“It’s Rose.”
The name is a sharp knife in my chest, opening a wound I’ve tried like hell to heal. I don’t know whether I’m pissed or excited. Possibly a combination of both.
I inhale a deep breath. “Send her in and cancel the rest of my day.”
“Yes, sir.”
I straighten in my chair and watch the door.
When she walks through, it’s like seeing her for the first time all over again. My heart tries to pound its way out of my chest. I wipe my palms down my slacks where she can’t see.
Fuck, how does this woman do this to me?
I stand to greet her as she heads toward me.
“Tom—”
My throat constricts when I hear her voice.
It’s been weeks without hearing it, without seeing her, without knowing if she was okay. I’ve done nothing but worry about her.
I hold out a hand, as if conducting business with a colleague. I won’t allow her to get to me again.
She looks at my hand, and then turns her gaze up to me. “Hi.” The word barely comes out as a whisper.
“What can I do for you? Need a recommendation letter or something?” It tears me apart to treat her this way, but she hurt me by running. She could’ve let me know she was okay. I know she saw my texts, heard my voicemails. I hadn’t opened myself up like that to someone in a very long time. Sure, I fucked women, but none of them got any part of me. I never made love to any of them.
Somehow, I still love Rose, just as much as I did, if not more.
Looking at her is painful. It takes every bit of resolve I can muster not to get down on my knees and beg her to stay. To beg her to be mine. I’m miserable without her, but it has to be this way. I’m a strong man, but I don’t know if I could survive losing her again.
“I’m sorry. I got scared. I hurt Hannah. I was coming between you two, and I didn’t want that. But I’m here now.”
I smirk. “How long until you get scared again? If you want to play games, find someone else.”
“There’s no game.”
I want to believe her so damn bad. “I sense a but coming. What is it?”
She sets her purse aside and places her hands on her stomach. It’s barely there, but her dress is just tight enough to make out a bump.
“I’m pregnant, with your baby. Our baby.”
Jesus. I don’t know what to do, but I have to stay calm and collected. “Is that why you’re here?”
“No. I’m here because I want you. I’ve always wanted you. And whether you want this baby or not, I’m keeping it. I thought you should know. I came to tell you that, and that I love you.”
I can’t help but laugh. “You love me? How am I supposed to trust you?”
“I-I, umm—”
“You umm, what? Ran away? Made me worry about you? And now I find out you’re pregnant. You hid that for a month.” I step up in her face. “This should be a happy moment for me, Rose. I should’ve been taking you to doctor appointments. I should be making sure that you and the baby are taken care of. You stole a month of that, and the joy from the moment. And you took off the second things got tough, with no regard for anyone’s feelings but your own.” I look away so that I’ll stop talking to her. I can’t stand to see the pain in her eyes, but she needs to know what she did to me. I stare out the window. “Is it money you want? Obviously, you and the child will be taken ca
re of. You don’t even need the court to do it. I take care of those I care about, no matter how much they disappoint me.”
“I don’t want any money. I made a mistake. A big mistake. If you want me to go, I’ll go. Just know that I’m sorry I didn’t fight harder for you, but I’m here now, and I’ll come back tomorrow and the next day. And the day after that, and the day after that, until you believe me and give me another chance.”
I nod, still looking away. I try to allow her words to sink in. I never give second chances. You don’t get to where I am in business by trusting the wrong people. Life’s taught me you have to be firm on your convictions, and guard yourself at all times. Second chances bury you.
I glance back to meet her eyes, and it crushes me. She’s in pain. She’s scared and pregnant, and begging. If I look at her much longer, I’ll cave. And that’s the biggest problem with the situation—I want to cave, badly.
She has no idea how much she affects me.
Rose starts toward the door.
“Where are you going?”
She turns back. “To give you space.” A tear slides down her cheek.
“I don’t need space.”
“Then what do you need?”
I stand there for a few seconds, staring.
She turns and takes another step for the door.
“You.”
She freezes in her tracks, her back still to me.
“I need you.”
I walk past her to the door and lock it, so she’ll know she’s not going anywhere.
I lean down to her ear. “Now. What do you have on for me under this dress?”
A smile plays across her lips. “Don’t play games.”
Crack!
The sound of my palm striking her ass fills my office. “You don’t issue orders. You take them. Or did you forget how this works?”
My cock’s already hard at the sight of her. I unzip the dress, letting it fall from her shoulders and make a little pile around her feet. There she is, just the way I like her. Standing before me in nothing but black lace.
I place both palms on her cheeks, and our lips collide. I need to reclaim every inch of her body. She belongs to me.