Everlasting

by Candace Knoebel

I think I nod. I must, because his face pulls back together and he continues on. “Read it before the oath, before you’re summoned to Ethryeal City. That’s all I can say for now.”

  “I don’t understand. Why are you giving this to her?” Gavin says, this time louder.

  Puzzles pieces are shifting in front of me as I glance down at the book. Underground. Whiskey Hallow. Mack. Weldon. I repeat this to myself as Mack continues to ignore Gavin. He heads for the door.

  “In the meantime, you may resume your training separate from the other novices. Good luck in your trials,” he says, his once strong voice filled with worry and sadness. He’s almost out the door when enough of the pieces shift into place.

  “Wait,” I call out. Mack stops, but keeps his back to me. “The Underground. You’ve been there.” His back tenses up, and I feel like I have been slapped awake. “Is that why you gave me this book? Is there something in it that will help me find a way in? The same way Weldon did to save you?”

  He shifts his face just enough for me to the see the side. “That, Miss. Middleton, is something I’m not at liberty to say on campus grounds. Good day.”

  When the door shuts behind him, I get up. “Where are you going?” Gavin asks. I avoid looking over at him because I don’t want to see Jaxen. Seeing him flusters my thoughts.

  “Back to my room,” I say, sliding my sneakers on. I don’t wait for approval. I don’t even wait to tell Katie to come with me. I just grab Midnight and head for the door, following in Mack’s steps. All I can think about is putting distance between Jaxen and me. Before I hurt him. Before I hurt myself.

  “Faye, wait…” Jaxen says, but he doesn’t have time to finish whatever it is he was going to say, because the door slams in his face.

  MACK LEAVES FOR ETHRYEAL CITY again to deal with the Darkyn Coven threats and to deal with the matter of me. Three weeks pass and still no word. I dive into training fist first, preparing for my quarter trial. After nearly being taken on campus, I don’t want to be a weak link. I want to be able to defend myself. I want to be able to protect the ones I love. I want to be able to help my parents now that I know there’s a way, and it rests in Weldon’s brain.

  Day in and day out, I meet my trainers with more focus than a high powered scope on a sniper rifle. Every morning I wake, run, lift, and train with either weapons or human dummies, and every afternoon I meet with the Witches and focus on strengthening my spell casting. It’s a pattern I’ve grown to love. It’s a pattern I’ve grown to need.

  A few times, Jaxen tries to pull me to the side to talk, but I brush him off. I’m not ready to hear his explanation. He knew about my parents and didn’t say anything, plain and simple, but the problem is, I don’t know what hurts worse- his rejection or his deceit.

  At night, I read the Whiskey Hallow book Mack gave me. Apparently, Whiskey Hallow is where the Great Battle of the Covens happened. It’s where the Primevals went up against the Darkyns, all in the name of equality. Darkyns were a Coven of Witches who hated Hunters all because of the Divine Mourdyn. I have no idea how that has anything to do with me.

  Time passes at a painfully slow, but also surprisingly quick, pace. It’s like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff, just waiting for a brisk breeze to blow me over. The days on the calendar pass by, and before I know it, it’s the night of the quarter trial. After eating a full meal, I head back to my room and take a quick shower. I want to get some reading in before I’m summoned. We aren’t told when the trial will begin, just that it will happen today.

  I dress in my full Night Watchman uniform, and then curl up with the book Mack gave me. I flip the pages until I get to the scrap of paper I use as a bookmark and brace myself for what I’m about to read. Learning about it secondhand is entirely different than actually reading it and feeling like you’re in the moment. And the moment is pretty crazy, because I’m at the part when Mourdyn was cast to the Underground by his wife, the Divine Hunter Alesteria.

  Alesteria held the Dagger of Retribution in her hands. It’s the only blade that can pierce a Divine’s skin and it holds the power to cast them to the Underground. The remaining four Divine closed the circle around both Mourdyn and Alesteria, chanting a spell that held Mourdyn in place.

  “Please,” Mourdyn said to Alesteria.

  Alesteria didn’t quiver. With one foot on his chest, holding him down, she said, “Mourdyn Roush, you are being sentenced to the Underground for the crime of abandoning our Coven and killing thousands of Hunters and humans. Do you deny these allegations?” The Dagger hovered over his chest, gleaming under the moonlight.

  He spat in her face. “No, whore, I do not deny my hate for the filthy scum that you and your fellow Hunters are. Go ahead and cast me down. I will rise again, and when I do, I will wipe this earth clean of your kind.”

  She plunged the Dagger into his heart, and a bright light flash-

  Midnight meows loudly. He leaps off my lap and up onto the desk. “What are you doing, buddy?”

  He paws at my Grimoire.

  “Hey, don’t do that.” He stops for a second and looks at me, his yellow eyes glistening with defiance. He starts pawing again. I close the book and walk over to the desk. “I said, knock it off.” I try to move him, but he swats at me and continues to fervently dig his claws into the cover. “What the hell!” A piece of the bark and wire lift up as he scratches and scratches, almost like he’s trying to find something.

  I get a good hold of him and carry him to the bathroom. His claws dig into my skin right when I set him down. I jerk my arm back and shut him in. Blood ripples up from the lines on my forearm. He meows in the bathroom as a knock sounds at my door.

  “Faye.” It’s Katie. I open the door and step aside so she can enter. She walks over to my armoire and opens it. “We have to go.” She tosses me my shoes and crosses her arms, waiting. “Are you ready for the trials?”

  I’ve never been more ready for something in my life. “Yeah,” I say, sliding my shoes on and lacing them up.

  “You’ve been so scarce lately, like a ghost. Everyone is curious to see what you’re gonna do.” There’s a small note of jealousy in her voice, but when I look up at her, the smile she wears is genuine. “I even heard that some of the second, third, and fourth year novices are gonna watch from the hilltop.”

  “I don’t know why. I don’t plan on doing anything different from anyone else. I learned my lesson.” I brush my fingers through my hair to pull it back into a high ponytail.

  “You have double the power and no one to answer to, Faye. I’m sure it won’t be what everyone else is doing.”

  I glance over at her and lift a brow. “Trust me. I’m not looking to bring any extra attention to myself. I haven’t even heard from Mack yet about if I really have to take the oath or not after this trial.”

  “I hope not. I really wanted to do that with you…and Chett…in three years, when novices are supposed to take the oath,” she says, glancing down at the floor.

  In the past three weeks, Chett has returned to her side from the disciplinary ward. I keep a close eye on her when I’m not in training, and so far, everything appears fine. I walk over to her, examining her.

  “I’m fine,” she says, brushing my hands away. “I told you, he’s different. Whatever they did to him, the asshole streak is gone.”

  “Good.” I don’t tell her that if it wasn’t gone, my next move would be to plant his dead body deep in the forest where wolves, the shifting kind, could munch on his corpse.

  After putting my Grimoire up and letting Midnight out, we head to the backside of the Academy where the enchanted forest is. Snow falls in a constant flurry, making the ground look likes it’s been covered in vanilla frosting. A few snowmen are placed throughout the campus, and wreaths are hung on every door. Christmas came and went…right along with my birthday. I would have forgotten completely had it not been for Katie surprising me with a cake from the dining hall the day after New Year’s Day.

  “Nineteen. How does
it feel?” Katie asks, pulling her beanie over her ears.

  ”Stronger, I suppose.” I tuck my hands in my pockets and focus on my breath filling the air with puffy white clouds. I think she picks up on the hurt I feel, but as my best friend, she knows when to step back. She doesn’t push me to say anything and she doesn’t probe me about why I don’t respond. She doesn’t have to.

  When we pass the gymnasium, a hand latches onto my arm, trying to pull me back against the wall. I yank free and spin, my flux held out, ready to strike. Jaxen has his hands in the air, a shadow of a smile on his lips. “Easy, killer,” he says, lowering my hand with the flux in it.

  “I’ll wait over here,” Katie says, backing away from me. She’s wearing a grin.

  My heart seizes up. “No, stay,” I say, but she’s already climbing her way up the steep hill. I could curse her for leaving me alone with him. She knows how I feel. I exhale and turn back around, staring flatly at him.

  “Scared to be alone with me?” he asks with a raised brow. All these days that have passed by have changed nothing. I still heat up when I see him. I still yearn for his green eyes to grant me entry. I still ache for his touch.

  I just can’t afford to be turned down, not again.

  I snort. “The last I checked, it’s you that’s scared,” I say, chin in the air. I hope he can’t see my heart hammering away against my chest. I hope he can’t feel my pulse throbbing under his hand that still holds my arm, but the subtle smile on his face tells me he can. The way his eyes hold mine, boldly, yearningly, tell me he feels the same.

  He closes his eyes and lets go of my hand. All the warmth disappears between us as reality blows in without invitation. “You’re right,” he says distantly, regretfully. There’s controversy in his words and I can’t take it. I don’t want to take it. It hurts too much.

  I bite the inside of my cheek and form a plastic shell around my heart. “Glad we cleared that up. Now if you’ll…”

  He grabs my hand again, and I shut my eyes. In one innocent touch, he has my heart on its knees. I open my eyes. He’s looking off to the side, his grip firm, almost desperate. “I wanted to wish you luck,” he says, his eyes lifting to mine. They’re pools of regret and remorse, begging for me to cleanse myself in them.

  “Thanks,” I say, looking away from him. I want so bad to squash the awkwardness, to pull him close, to kiss his lips. I want to erase the pain from his face and the hurt from my heart. I want to finish what we started, explore where we could go, but there’s a barricade between us and I can’t break through.

  He shifts and my breath catches, hoping he’ll make a move, anything to tell me that there’s still hope.

  “They’re going to make you hunt a Werewolf for the trial.”

  My eyes jerk to his. “You’re kidding.”

  He answers by fastening his direct gaze on me.

  I clear the mob of fear in my throat and inhale deeply. “So be it.”

  He stares at me, almost confused. “Aren’t you scared?”

  I shrug. “What good will being scared do me? It’s the trial I have to perform.”

  His hand flexes at his side, and then lifts toward me. I tense up, wanting, but not wanting him to touch me, needing, but hesitating. A millennium passes by as every part of me awakens, aware of his hand that hovers so close. It comes to rest on my cheek where sparks erupt beneath his touch. There are so many mixed emotions twisting his face and eyes. He blinks, leans in, and then leans back. He lets my face go, ruffles his hand through his hair, and his eyes search the skyline.

  When he looks back at me, resolution flattens his expression. “You’re going to be great.” He squeezes my arm, and then turns and disappears into the shadows from where he emerged.

  I’m a house flattened by a wrecking ball. I take four calculated deep breaths. There’s no time left to be broken.

  I trek up the last bit of hill where the forest waits like a mysterious black hole and find Katie. She takes one look at me, and then pulls me into a hug. I’m grateful that she knows me this well…that she knows when not to ask just by the expression I wear. When she lets go, I push it all away and hop from foot to foot, trying to keep warmth within my legs. All of the novices are here, each huddled in cliques. Chett finds Katie and waves before making his way over to us. I tense when he’s near. Although he seems changed, I can’t help but feel that it’s only a matter of time. People can’t change that quickly, that easily.

  Todd and Jia come up behind us and wrap their arms around our shoulders. “Excited?” Todd asks. He’s covered in black from head to toe with only his eyes visible.

  Jia laughs nervously, her hands tucked in her pockets and her arms pressed tightly to her sides. “Not really. This will determine everything. What’s worse is that the trials are different every quarter. No one has a clue what to expect.”

  “Probably something crazy seeing how she’s here,” Chett says, his head pointed in my direction.

  I grimace, though I don’t think he can tell in the dark. Katie eyes me sidelong, her body stiffening. I offer her a small smile. I’m not going to pick any fights. Not after my blood promise to Cassie.

  An Elder I haven’t seen before makes their way to the top of the hill. Their face is hidden behind a crimson robe. With Mack still away, someone has to fill the role. “Novices,” his voice rings out over the hillside. The chatter ends abruptly, and everyone’s head whips around in his direction. “Tonight is the first step to becoming a Night Watchman. You have all survived the first quarter training, and now all that stands in your way of entering the second quarter is completing this trial.

  “You have been randomly put into three teams.” Watchmen surround us, arranging us in the order we are supposed to be in, while the Elder continues to speak. I’m moved away from Katie and placed with four other affinity bonds I haven’t met before. They each look equally thrilled and petrified to see me. I wish I could return the favor.

  “When the flare goes off, you will make your way into the enchanted forest. Your objective is to hunt and find the alpha Werewolf. There will be obstacles placed in your way, testing your ability to work with others, and more importantly, testing your ability to work with your partner.” A wave of tension ripples through the air as heads turn to each other. I feel more eyes on me, and then a hushed whisper. I don’t have a partner. “You will take everything you’ve learned and apply it to this trial. A Werewolf is not an easy catch. He’s aware that you’re hunting him.

  “The first team to secure the shifter will be granted first choice in the classes you will take in second quarter. The rest will simply be assigned. Each affinity needs to survive tonight. This is your chance to prove that you are worthy and ready to move on to the next stage of learning in the Academy. If you fail, you will be banished.

  “There will be Watchmen placed throughout the forest. Their sole job is to watch and report, not to help. Treat this as if you were on your own. This is real, and this is life or death. There are other creatures that lurk in this forest. Be on constant guard. When you make it to the shifter, signal the flare and that will be the end. We wish you good luck. May the God and Goddess be with you.”

  He lifts a flare gun into the air, and with a large smile, pulls the trigger.

  THE TEAMS AROUND US HUDDLE up. A tall boy with shaggy blonde hair takes a flare gun from a Watchman, and then pulls our team together in a tight circle. “Gather around,” he says, his voice the kind of voice that makes you want to listen, the kind that says his head is screwed on straight. “My name is Lucas, but call me Luke.”

  I try not to tense under the other arms wrapped around my shoulders as everyone takes everyone in. There’s a kindred energy flowing between us, even though we don’t know each other. These people are my lifeline for the next hour.

  And whether I want to or not, I’m about to get to know them real well.

  I clear my throat, the sound ripping the wings from each one of the butterflies in my stomach. “Hi, Luke. I’m
Faye.”

  He smiles at me. A genuine smile. A respectful one.

  “Can you believe we have her,” a girl with dark, silky hair says to him. Her skin is like chocolate. I assume she’s his partner based on the way they exchange glances. “I’m Tia, but call me T,” she says to me, extending a hand.

  I take it and shake. “Nice to meet you, T.” I can’t help but smile at her.

  The rest of the group introduces themselves, and then we begin our plan. I peer over at the other two groups, wondering when they’re going to take off. Even though this trial mostly involves remaining alive, I still want to win. I want to show the Elders and the Priesthood that I’m worthy and ready, despite what I am.

  “So basically, we need to work together. I think it’s best if we have one team leader, and then the rest follow, keeping eyes and senses up and open,” Luke says. His eyes land on me. “I haven’t seen you train, so I don’t know how good you are…but from what I’ve heard, you’re stellar.”

  For once in my life, I’m grateful for the ice cold air as it disguises the heat swelling on my cheeks. “I can handle my own,” I say as evenly as I can, trying not to sound too cocky, but not undermining myself. “And I agree. One affinity team should lead. They should be responsible for sniffing out the shifter and obstacles. The others should be back-up. We need each one to play their part if we’re going to win this.”

  “I’m John,” a boy with red hair says. “Weapons?”

  I show my flux, the daggers tucked into the pockets on the outside of my pants, and the guns on the inside of my jacket in their holsters.

  “Wow,” John says, “you came prepared.” He holds out his flux. The three Witches show their guns, since they can’t properly use a flux. Aside from Luke and his extra set of daggers, I’m the most prepared.

  “Okay, so who’s leading?” T asks.

  Every single eye lands on me.

  “You up for it?” Luke asks, his eyes raised in question. The smile he wears leaks all the way to his voice.