by J. Lea
“You like him.” It’s clearly a statement, not a question. I take a deep breath, and go to the couch. I run my fingers through my hair, and raise my head to meet her gaze.
“I don’t know...” I give her an uncertain look. “I don’t know what to think. He’s so kind and nice to me. I haven’t felt anything like that since Josh. I’m so confused.”
Sophie comes closer, still in her coat, playing with her car keys. “Honey, that’s a good thing. A very good thing. You finally started feeling again.”
“But he is Jake Burns. And you know how I feel about bikes.”
“So? Doesn’t matter,” Sophie shrugs, as if it were no big deal.
“Doesn’t matter? You know what happened to Josh.”
Sophie rolls her eyes. “What happened to Josh was a terrible, terrible coincidence. You can’t blame motorcycles for this. And a truck hit him; so if you blame someone, blame the truck driver. Stop making excuses.”
“Besides, every woman dreams about being with Jake,” I mutter insecurely.
“But he wants you.”
“I don’t know,” I shake my head. “I really don’t know what’s happening with me.” Sophie wraps me in a tight hug, and heads to the door. As she grabs the doorknob, she turns to me.
“It’s time,” she starts, and grows silent for a few seconds. “It’s time to allow your heart to feel again. For Jake or somebody else.” The door closes behind her. I admit, Jake’s attention got me thinking. I’m no longer as afraid of starting a new relationship as I was before. I miss someone’s touches, being close to somebody again, but that is also the thing I’m afraid of the most.
Chapter Eight
Ella
It’s one week until Christmas. I promised Sophie and Matt that I was going to spend Christmas with them. They don’t want me to be alone, so we are going to make some dinner and play cards. My parents decided to go to a spa for holidays. They invited me to join them, but they also need time for themselves, so I politely declined and told them I already had plans. My workplace is a madhouse. Everybody wants a massage before the holidays, but I can’t work faster than I already am. Two of the masseuses took a vacation, so currently, it’s only three of us at work. I worked the whole day yesterday, I was exhausted as hell when I got home. I only have to survive a few more days, and then I can have my much-deserved holidays.
“It’s crazy around here,” Anna, my co-worker, is shaking her head furiously. We are on a 10-minute break before our next clients arrive. I bite into the apple I brought from home.
“Only...” I check my watch and smile at her. “Three more hours,” I say and we both roll our eyes. Three more hours and then we’re off. We hear the bell on the door ring.
“I’ll go. You finish the apple in peace,” Anna says, and runs to the reception area. Everything is quiet, so I assume it was her client. I throw the apple core in the trash and head to the front of the salon myself. Today, my last client is Jake again. Every time I hear his name or his sexy voice, my heart skips a beat. Even though I try my best to remain unaffected, my heart is slowly winning. His calls are getting more frequent. Every time my phone rings, I catch myself hoping it’s Jake.
My clients come and go. I’m sitting in the reception area, and waiting for Jake. He is coming in for a back massage, and I smile contentedly. I will get to touch his smooth skin again.
“I love your smile,” I hear Jake’s voice in front of me. How the hell did I not hear the bell when he came in? “You should smile more often.” His words make me blush. Thank God he doesn’t know he was the one that made me smile.
“Hi,” I say, and take him to the massage room. I’m already used to him stripping down to his boxers in front of me, so I use this time to prepare the massage oil. Jake gets on the table, and I turn to him. This time, he’s wearing navy blue boxer briefs. I quickly cover his legs and ass with a sheet before I start salivating all over him. There. Much better, I say to myself. At least I won’t have any distractions during the massage. I pour some oil from the bottle into my hands, rub them to warm it up, and then I lower them to his back. Every time, his back muscles impress me more. I wonder if he has a six-pack because I haven’t seen him without a shirt yet, well, except his back.
“You’re really good at this,” he says, his eyes closed. “Can I ask you a question?” he asks a little insecurely. He suddenly opens his eyes and they are watching me. “Do you want to go to some Christmas party with me?” For a second, I stop massaging, but my hands are still on his body. Biting my lip, I shake my head.
“I can’t, I already promised Sophie and Matt I’ll come over to their house.” I turn my head the other way and continue massaging.
“They can come, too. The more the merrier. I promise I won’t try anything with you.”
“I don’t know. I’ll have to ask them first,” comes out of my mouth more like a question than a statement. Damn it, I’m losing my head when I’m around him.
Jake pays, and waits for me to finish up and lock the salon. We step into the freezing winter night side by side.
“Come on. I’ll walk you home.” Something flashes behind us after a few steps. We turn around, and see it’s the flash of a camera. “Damn,” Jake mumbles furiously, and grabs my elbow.
“What’s wrong?” I ask him as he pushes me gently into the car. “I thought we were walking.”
“Paparazzi,” he mutters. “Can’t I have one day off from constantly being followed?” Jake turns on the ignition, and speeds off the parking lot.
I grab the handle of the door, giving him a questioning look.
“I’m sorry,” he says, as he turns right and makes sure no one is following us, “but the press can be such a pain in the butt. I can’t stand this anymore.”
I nod. I wouldn’t want the attention of the press on me, either. I had enough of that two years ago after the accident. The press was practically camping in front of our house for a whole week. I cannot imagine how it must be for Jake, putting up with the media attention each and every day.
“This is me,” I say, as we climb the stairs to my apartment, and turn to him. He nods. I’m fidgeting with my keys. “Do you want to come in?” I ask him quietly.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” he responds, scratching the back of his neck.
I nod. Whatever that means. I take a deep breath, unlock the door, and step into my apartment.
“Have a nice evening, Jake.”
He smiles. “You, too. And don’t forget to ask Sophie and Matt about the Christmas party.”
One week has passed by with the speed of light. Matt and Sophie were thrilled to be invited by Jake to a party. They accepted in a second, and thanked me profusely. Matt is, like Sophie, completely crazy about Jake ‘The Beast’ Burns. Every Sunday during the motorcycle racing season, they are glued to the TV screen, cheering for him.
I’m standing in front of the mirror, checking out my outfit. I decided on tight navy jeans, and leather mid-calf boots with high heels. I paired it with a sleeveless peach shirt that hugs my curves, and topped it with a long-sleeved tunic in the same color. My phone rings for the fifteenth time, and it’s Sophie, again. She’s nervous and excited about tonight’s party. She and Matt have no clue what to wear and what gift to bring to the host of the party.
“Sophie, everything is going to be okay. Just breathe,” I try to comfort her.
“Do you think it’s fine if we bring some champagne with us? We don’t want to go empty-handed.”
“It’s perfectly fine. I’ll see you soon,” I say, and hang up before she can ask me more things. I don’t like the ponytail I’m wearing, so I braid my hair instead. I clip it by my ear, so it’s falling softly across my shoulder. I also put on some eye shadow in nude color, and some mascara that nicely compliments my already long lashes. I put on some lip-gloss, and I’m ready to party.
I take a final look in the mirror when I hear the intercom. I know it’s Jake so I just buzz him in. It takes a while f
or him to climb all the stairs to my apartment, and then I hear knocking on my front door. Taking a deep breath, I unlock the door.
Wow.
All the air leaves my lungs when I see him standing in front of me. This time, he’s not wearing jeans, but gorgeous black slacks. Black shoes have replaced his motorcycle boots. He’s wearing a coat, and because he hasn’t buttoned it, I can see a pretty purple shirt peeking out from underneath. His usually messy hair is styled. I feel like I am not worthy of being seen in his company, dressed like I am. I swallow nervously and find my voice.
“Hey,” I say, opening the door wide so he can come in.
“Hi, you look amazing,” Jake walks his eyes over my body. Damn it, how is it possible that his voice has gotten even sexier? He leans closer, and my breath hitches in my throat. He kisses me on the cheek, and grins at me. My knees almost give out. Unconsciously, I touch my cheek where a few seconds ago his lips were. “Are you ready?” His question awakens me from my daydream. Clearing my throat, I turn around to grab my coat, and I nod.
“Let’s go.” He puts his hand on the small of my back, gently pushing me out the door. His gesture shoots shivers and tingles all over my body. I quickly lock the door, and we are on the way to his friend’s house, where the party is. We’re meeting Sophie and Matt there. I’m still not too comfortable with the idea of spending Christmas evening with strangers, but Sophie and Matt insisted, so I had to indulge them. The twenty-minute drive passes quickly. By the time we get there, I notice Matt’s car is already in the parking lot, and they’re still sitting in it. Jake parks the car beside theirs, and we all exit our cars. Sophie hugs me, but Matt is rendered speechless. He’s staring at Jake like he is not sure if his eyes are working properly.
“Damn, Jake Burns, I can’t believe I’m standing in front of you. It’s an honor,” he says as they shake hands.
“Nice to meet you,” Jake says with an honest smile.
“I’m a big fan, and Sophie too. That race in Germany, it was amazing to watch how you swept your competition away so effortlessly!” Jake laughs out loud. I wrap my arms around my hips, it’s freezing cold outside. Jake notices, and pulls me to him.
“Let’s go inside. Everybody’s already here.” We all nod and head to the entrance. Jake knocks before entering, and the rest of us follow him in.
“Here you are,” a man in his mid-twenties exclaims as he stands up from the couch. He’s holding a beer, and so are the rest of the people in the room. Some wave at us, others greet us loudly, and some just nod their heads and continue with the conversation.
“Hey, man, long time no see,” Jake says as the host approaches. They shake hands and man-hug. It’s obvious they are happy to see each other.
“It’s about time you dragged your lazy ass over here. Here you got me almost thinking you forgot about us already,” the man grins, slapping Jake on the back. “And you must be Sophie, Matt and Ella, right? I’m Todd.” We shake hands and he leads us to the couch where we join others. Again, I notice there are much more women in the room than men. One of them is staring at me right now. I can see from her expression she’s not happy to see me. On the other hand, she’s eying Jake like he’s her next meal. I turn to the other side, and take a look around the spacious room. It has a fireplace on the far end of the room, and a few pictures are on the mantle. On the right, there’s a big plant with giant leaves. Long soft curtains the color of champagne are on the windows. Opposite us, there is a plasma TV, and on the other side of the room, there are closets with touches of orange. Even the rug on the floor is orange. On my right, a huge Christmas tree with red and gold ornaments is shining in all its glory. There’s even a pool table beside it. It’s cozy. In the background, Mariah Carey is singing about the holy night on the radio.
“What are you drinking?” Todd asks. Jake and Matt decide on beer, and Sophie and I pick wine. Jake tells me Todd is his childhood friend. They were inseparable as kids. Now, Todd is married with two children, Ashley and Jordan. Jenna, his wife, is sitting beside him. Todd has his hand around her shoulders, and her hand is resting on his knee while they’re chatting with their guests. Beside them is Todd’s and Jake’s friend from high school, Bradley. There are also three women—Patricia, Linda and Lisa. They are all staring at Jake with hearts in their eyes. It’s obvious they don’t know him personally. They’re probably Jenna’s friends, I think to myself. There’s another woman, Marcia, who is still throwing daggers my way, and hasn’t yet spoken a word to me. Whenever I glance at Sophie and Matt, they seem very comfortable in their company. They’re talking and laughing with everyone. I also say a word or two, but I prefer, as usual, to quietly take everything in.
“Shall we shoot some pool or are you now too important to play with us?” Bradley challenges Jake with a raised eyebrow.
“I’m always up for kicking your butts,” Jake says smugly. He puts the beer down on the table, and takes the cue stick out of Bradley’s hands.
“How long are you home for?” Todd asks him during the game. Jake takes a swig of the beer, and leans on the pool table as he waits for his turn.
“I’ll be here until the beginning of March, and after then I’ll be all over the world.”
You almost forget Jake is a famous racer when you are in his company. The realization that I won’t see him much once March comes saddens me. I know we are only friends, but his friendship has become an important part of my life. I shift uncomfortably on the couch, and take a sip of the wine.
The party is in full swing. Some people are dancing and others are in the middle of a passionate conversation. Matt asks me to dance, and I say yes. Three slow songs later, we are pleasantly swaying to the music. I notice from the corner of my eye that Sophie is chatting with Todd and Jenna, and Marcia has just approached Jake. She puts her hand on his knee, and practically shoves her big breasts in his mouth. I revert my glance and focus on the dancing.
“You like him,” Matt states. “More than you care to admit, huh?”
“I don’t know. I have no clue what I feel. I’m so confused all the time. I’m still in love with Josh, but lately all I’ve been thinking about is Jake. Does that even make sense?”
He nods. “You’ll always love Josh. He’ll always hold a special part in your heart, no one can take that away from you. But it’s time to let someone else in your heart, to finally let your feelings come to the surface. You owe it to yourself.”
“Since when are you so smart?” I smile cheekily at him, and poke him playfully in his chest.
“I have my moments,” he grins.
“I love you. You know that, right? I’ll never forget how much you and Sophie did for me.”
“Yeah, we love you, too. But I mean it. You need someone, too. Someone to hug, to kiss, or just to be there for you, like I have Sophie. Nobody should be alone.” The song ends, and now Celine Dion is singing her Christmas song So This Is Christmas.
“I’m trying. It’s so damn hard. Even though I miss Josh like crazy, especially during times like these, I want to be close to somebody like Josh and I were, I don’t know if Jake is the right person for this.” Marcia is still all over Jake, and I don’t like it. I don’t like her hands on him. Am I jealous?
“Jake likes you, too. Perhaps you should let him in. You never know where it may lead.”
“And how do you know that, Dr. Phil?” I ask, my voice laced with sarcasm, my eyes still trained on Marcia and Jake.
“He told me.” I stop in my tracks, staring at him in shock. When the hell could Jake have told him that if they’ve only just met? He must see the question in my eyes so as he starts swaying me to the music again, he says, “We chatted a little during the pool game. He wanted to know everything about you. I don’t know why he’d ask me things like that if he wasn’t interested.”
Huh, I don’t know. Well, of course I like him. Who wouldn’t? I would have to be blind not to have noticed his piercing blue eyes with tiny flecks of gray, or his messy hair you just want to
run your hands through. And every time he touches me, I get goose bumps. That’s how good his hands on my body feel. But there’s also his fame. I don’t know what kind of relationships he likes. He has plenty of opportunities for one-night stands, and to be honest, what man can resist those beautiful large-chested women that are present at every race? I saw it with my own eyes. They’re practically offering themselves to Jake on a silver platter. One of them is currently sitting pressed against Jake on the couch, trying to get him to bed. Her body language is clear—she’s pressing her chest into his side, talking sweetly with him, and Jake doesn’t seem to mind it. How would it feel if we started dating and I’d see him in every magazine and newspaper with different arm candy every time? Besides, there’s another big obstacle. An obstacle I have difficulty overcoming: motorcycling and motorcycles. Would I shake in my boots every time he sat on that bike? I don’t know if I’m strong enough for that.
Matt and I join the others who are playing cards. We are playing Uno, and Sophie is currently in the lead. We’re all impatiently waiting to jump in with the right color and number or for our turn to get rid of the cards.
“Hey, Emma,” Marcia calls quietly.
“Ella,” I correct her. She shrugs.
“Whatever. Are you and Jake an item?”
I look at her, and see her devouring Jake with her eyes, licking her lips at the same time. I have an urge to tell her to put her dirty claws away from Jake, but I only shake my head. She grins, and then ignores me for the rest of the game. Whatever, I think to myself.
It’s almost midnight. I decide to go to the balcony to clear my thoughts. I’m hugging a mug of tea with both my hands, and leaning against the fence. I inhale deeply to breathe in the cold air and close my eyes. Even though I’m starting to freeze, it feels good. I blow on my tea and take a careful sip. The midnight sky is clear, the moon and stars are shining brightly. All the houses in the vicinity still have the lights on. They are probably also enjoying the Christmas Eve.