by J. Lea
“Hey, mom,” I say, as I dial her number. I haven’t heard from her in a long time, and I want to hear her sweet, gentle voice that calms me.
“Hi, honey, how are you?”
“I’m good. I’m at some party with Sophie and Matt. We’re having a nice time,” I assure her.
“I’m glad to hear that. Dad says hi.” A smile appears on my face as I imagine my dad trying to listen in on our conversation. I bet he’s trying to lean into my mom and press his ear against the phone, while mom is surely playfully pushing him away. After we chat for a few minutes, and she tells me about their amazing spa vacation, I hang up, and put the phone in my pocket. The tea has become lukewarm by now, so I no longer have to be afraid of burning my tongue. I’m sipping my tea, and staring into the distance when I feel a familiar hand on the small of my back. I love the way his hand feels on me.
“What are you doing outside? It’s freezing,” he asks, as he rubs his hands together.
“I just came out for a little air,” I answer, as I avert my gaze from his face and look up into the sky. “It’s so peaceful outside.”
“Come inside. I don’t want you to get sick,” he gently grabs my wrist and pushes me back in. He closes the balcony door behind us so the cold air doesn’t seep inside.
“Hey, you have to kiss,” we hear Jenna’s chipper voice. We both wrinkle our forehead at her. Why would I have to kiss him? Okay, besides being insanely attracted to him, of course. Jenna points her finger above our heads. “Mistletoe,” Jenna grins mischievously and sips her drink from the straw. Jake and I look at each other. It seems like we’re staring at each other for an eternity.
A naughty grin splits his face. “She’s right, you know, it’s tradition.”
Oh God, oh God, oh God, I chant in my mind. I shift from one leg to another. I’m reluctant to kiss him because I’m afraid his kiss will mark me forever. He slides his fingers under my chin and lightly tilts it upward. My heart starts beating faster. He leans down, his lips are inches away. The smell of his aftershave invades my senses, makes me weak in the knees. I can feel his warm breath on my face. His eyes are still open, but they are darker and his pupils are dilated. Suddenly, I feel his lips on mine.
Soft.
Gentle.
Tempting.
I close my eyes for a second and lose myself in the kiss. But, as quickly as his lips touched mine, they’re gone in an instant, too. Right this moment, this fraction of a second, I feel something change in me. It was just a brief kiss, but it is as though his lips are still pressed against mine, like they are tattooed on my lips. We’re still standing under the mistletoe, staring at each other. What’s happening with me? I love Josh, how can I possibly have such strong feelings for Jake? I turn away from him, and return to the living room where everyone else is.
Marcia is flirting with Jake again, but his gaze is trained on me the whole time. I’m avoiding his eyes on purpose, watching everything else but him. I made a total fool of myself when I practically fled away from him after the kiss, but I couldn’t help myself. It was as if someone squeezed all the air out of my lungs, and I needed to take a deep breath. Away from him. It’s been more than two years since I kissed anyone. I feel bad because of Josh, but the feelings that bubbled to the surface because of the kiss are intense.
When it starts getting late, Sophie, Matt, Jake and I say goodbye, and thank everyone for being so welcoming. We promise to stay in touch, and then Jake takes me to his car. During the drive, we’re silent. Only the radio is playing in the background. I don’t know what to say. Should I apologize? Should I pretend nothing happened? Should I explain why I reacted this way? I nervously play with the lapel of my coat. He appears calm and collected. What’s going on in his head? Is he sorry it was the two of us who found themselves standing under the mistletoe? The rattle of keys in Jake’s hands interrupts the train of my thoughts. Shit, I didn’t even notice we’re already parked in front of my apartment building, and that Jake has turned off the car. I smile at him nervously, and get out of the car. We are still quiet. Jake walks me to my front door again, his hand on the small of my back.
“I had a nice time,” Jake breaks the silence.
“Me, too.” I can tell he’s nervous by the way he scratches the back of his head, drops his gaze to the floor, and tucks his hands into his pockets.
“I’d kiss you, but I’m afraid you’d run away again,” the corners of his lips turn upward and he chuckles. “I’d better go,” he says, shifting from one foot to another. Tension in the air is so thick you could cut it with a knife. He turns on his heel, puts his gray beanie on his head, and leaves.
Jake
I just left Ella’s apartment building, and I’m sitting in my car. Sitting in my car because I can’t make myself move. I rub my face with my hands and grab the wheel. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’ve never felt this way before. I take a deep breath. What started as a game to get Ella into bed with me, turned into a genuine interest in her, her as a person. But she totally blocked me out today. Ever since that brief kiss, she’s avoided me. What the hell? Why did she do that? Just when I finally got the chance to taste her lips, to feel her soft mouth against my own. Just for a second, but that second was enough. Her full lips were all I could think of for the rest of the evening. They still are. I still don’t know why she put up those walls around her. Does she regret the kiss? She has visibly shut herself away. When we stood in front of her door, I could barely restrain myself from crushing her to me and kissing her properly. Instead, I clenched my hands into fists, hid them in my pockets, and left. I pull the phone out of my pocket to write her a text, but I change my mind and put it back in my pocket. She’s probably had enough of me today. I’ve never felt this way before. It’s like she bewitched me. I can’t stop thinking about her. It seems like hours before I start the car, and drive to my empty house.
I’m awoken from my deep sleep by the ringing of my phone. Eyes still closed, I fumble for my phone and answer.
“Hello?” I ask sleepily.
“Hi, Jake,” a woman’s voice purrs.
“Who is this?”
“Um, Marcia. Remember me, from Todd’s party last night?” her voice loses that confidence from before.
Where did she get my number? “Oh, right, Marcia. Hi. Can I help you with something?” I sit up in my bed, and glance at my alarm clock. 10am. I scratch my head, and slowly get out of bed. Snatching a fresh pair of boxers out of the drawer, I head to the bathroom to take a shower.
“I was wondering if you have time to meet for coffee?” I look at the screen, and put it back against my ear. Coffee? What does she want from me? She was so annoying yesterday; I barely contained myself from pushing her off the couch.
“I’m sorry, but I’m about to head to practice. Some other time maybe, okay?” I lie. There won’t be another time, but she doesn’t have to know that.
“Oh, okay. I understand,” she sounds disappointed, but in the next second she says cheerfully, “I’ll hold you to that,” and says goodbye. Sticking a toothbrush in my mouth, I grab a fresh towel. I thoroughly brush, floss, shower, and get dressed. I remembered Ella is not working today so I decide to visit her, but before that I’ll get us coffee. We have to clear things up.
With my free hand, I firmly knock on the door.
“You’re not Sophie,” Ella says.
Nope, but I’m glad I get to see her in what she’s currently wearing. She has on short pink shorts that show off her shapely legs, and a white and pink tank top with Snoopy on the front. Her pajamas, I’m guessing. I notice she’s not wearing a bra since her hard nipples are poking through her shirt. Damn. I’m definitely drooling when her voice brings me out of my fantasy.
“What are you doing here?” She crosses her hands in front of her chest.
I raise the carton with two coffees, and push it under her nose. “I brought coffee.” I squeeze past her, and walk into her apartment without invitation. I watch her sexy legs approach
me. She takes a bathrobe off the chair, and wraps it around her. Too bad. The view was amazing.
“Thanks, but I’m expecting Sophie any minute.”
“Okay, I don’t mind her being here.”
Ella raises an eyebrow, and looks at me sideways as if to say You don’t mind? It’s my house. I offer her a cheeky grin, and take a sip of the coffee. I completely forgot about the fact that it’s scalding hot, so I spit it out the next instant. It takes me a few seconds to recover.
“Damn it, that’s hot!” I mutter. As I glance at Ella, she’s nearly doubled over with laughter. “You think that’s funny, eh? I’ll show you what’s funny,” I say, as I start tickling her. “Who’s laughing now?” I ask as I tickle her sides and ribs.
“No, stop!” She manages to yell during her fit of laughter. “I won’t laugh anymore,” she is still giggling, and she crouches to protect herself from my skillful fingers. In an instant, I lose my balance, and we both fall to the floor—she on her back, and I on top of her. We’re both laughing out loud, until she realizes the position we’re in. Her face straightens, and we just stare at each other, our faces inches apart.
“God, I love the sound of your laughter,” I say. I’m still lying on top of her, watching her. I can feel my cock jerk in my pants, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who notices. Her hands are on my chest. I want to kiss her so badly, to mark her, to make her mine. She’s the first to break the gaze, gently pushes me off her, and gets off the floor. She fixes her robe, and tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear.
“Are you hungry? I was just about to make breakfast for Sophie and me. I can make something for you, too, if you want.” I nod. I’m not hungry, but if that means I get to spend some more time with her, I’ll take it. I rearrange my cock that’s arching painfully against my pants, and sit by the table. It takes a while for Ella to relax again, and for the tension in the air to dissipate. Sophie hasn’t come yet. Ella told me punctuality is not Sophie’s best suit. She goes to the bedroom to change out of her pajamas, and I take this moment to look around. Her kitchen is black and white. Above the kitchen counter tops, there’s a beautiful glass splash back. The table and the chairs are white and the floor is parquet. I notice two framed pictures on a shelf by the fridge. In one, there’s a man who looks like he could be my age, and in the other, Ella is with him. I take the second one in my hand to take a closer look. They are smiling, his arm is around her shoulders, and she’s leaning into him. They look happy. In the next moment, Ella snatches the picture out of my hands. She stares at it for a second, when a doorbell rings. Ella sets the picture back in its place, and goes to the door. Putting my hands in my pockets, I glance at the photo once again, and wait for them to come into the kitchen. I can hear them whispering about something, before Sophie rushes into the kitchen.
“Hey, Jake! It’s nice to see you again.” I nod at her.
“You, too. How’s Matt?”
“Still excited as a little boy for having met you. Just this morning I heard him talking on the phone, telling one of his friends that he went to a party with you. I’ll probably have to listen to him going on and on about ‘Jake this, Jake that’ for a long time. I think you’re currently his favorite person in the world,” she laughs. “Good thing I’m not the jealous type,” she jokes. Meanwhile, Ella is cooking breakfast, and every once in a while I steal glances at her. She’s dancing around the kitchen with such lightness. She’s currently turned away from me, and my eyes land on her butt. What man wouldn’t look at her butt? Her tight black yoga pants are hugging her perfect ass and toned legs. She’s also wearing a baggy T-shirt that reaches to her hips. It’s gray, and it has the number nine printed on the back. It’s falling off one shoulder, and I can see the strap of her bra. Sexy.
“She likes you,” Sophie says quietly, and I wince. She noticed me checking out Ella. I look at her, and nod to encourage her to continue. “Give her time. She’s been through a lot, so don’t be mad she’s so closed off.
“What happened to her?” I ask immediately. Sophie shakes her head.
“It’s not my story to tell. She has to tell you herself, when she’s ready. She just needs a little more time. She’ll soften. Just don’t give up.”
We’re slowly sipping coffee, and I cannot help myself to ask her another question that’s been bugging me.
“Does it have something to do with the guy in the picture?” I point my head to the picture I was looking at earlier. She glances the way I pointed, and I see sadness fill her eyes. She shifts on the chair. Before I get my answer, Ella brings the food. I don’t need her confirmation, I already got it in her eyes. Who is he, and what has he done to her?
“Anyone wants ketchup with that?” Ella asks, before she sits down. Sophie and I shake our heads and grab our forks. “I hope it’s good. I’m not exactly a great cook, but Sophie knows that already,” she says, and looks at Sophie. They laugh, and we eat our breakfast while conversing pleasantly. After I help her clean up, I say goodbye to the girls so they can have their privacy.
Chapter Nine
Ella
Jake: Whatcha doin’?
I smile at my phone’s screen. I’m already used to Jake’s morning texts, and I’m looking forward to them.
Me: Lying in my bed...
Jake: Christ, woman! You tryin’ to kill me? Now I’m imagining you in those sexy Snoopy pajamas.
Sexy pajamas? It’s far from sexy; all stretched out, yet it’s very comfortable.
Me: I guess our definitions of sexy are quite different. I’m far from sexy with my hair sticking out in all directions, and cranky because I haven’t had my coffee yet.
Jake: I like you messy :)
It’s been a month since Christmas and our kiss, but it’s still on my mind. So is Jake. I’m slowly letting him in, and I’m not so reserved anymore when he’s around me. He often touches me briefly, tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, ‘accidentally’ skims his fingers down my back, and each and every time, I wish he didn’t stop. There were a few moments when we could’ve kissed, but I always took a step back. I still can’t get over the fact that he’s a motorcyclist. Sophie keeps bugging me, saying it’s time I give him a chance, and that we should go out. He asks me out almost every day, and I say no each time. I know, I’m pathetic. I told Sophie I’m still scared I’ll fall in love with him and then lose him—just like I did Josh.
Me: You’re weird, and probably the only one who thinks that :)
I hear buzzing by the door, so I put the phone on my nightstand and hurry to my intercom.
“Yes?”
“Delivery for Miss Vaughn.” Delivery? What could it be? I press the button to unlock the door for the deliveryman. I open my front door, and see him already walking toward me. He hands me a small envelope and a single long-stemmed red rose. “Sign here,” he points to the little square with my name. I thank him and close the door. First, I smell the rose and put it in the vase, and then I sit on a chair in the kitchen and open the envelope. Inside, I find two tickets, but before I check what it says on them, I see the note.
Tomorrow, 8 o’clock, movies. I’ll pick you up. Won’t take no for an answer.
Jake
I examine the tickets and I see they’re for a comedy movie that just came out. I press the tickets to my chest and go to the bedroom to grab my phone. There’s a new text waiting.
Jake: You probably already got my invitation by now. This time, you can’t weasel out of it. I’m picking you up tomorrow even if I have to break down the door to your apartment. Just one date, you won’t be sorry.
Me: Okay.
I can hardly believe I finally accepted his offer. I think I’m finally ready. I don’t think he’d go to such lengths to get me to go out with him if he only wanted to get me in bed. Taking a big breath, I tell myself the date is no big deal. Oh, who am I kidding? A date with Jake Burns is nothing but a big deal. I’m still holding the phone when it starts ringing.
“Jake?” I ask, to make sure I
saw the right name on the screen.
“I can’t believe you finally caved. I knew you liked me,” he exclaims confidently, teasing me.
“Hey, it wasn’t you, it’s the movie. I’ve been dying to see it for months,” I tease him back. The movie was the last thing on my mind when I said yes to the date. Even if he invited me to grab a burger, I’d say yes. I just want to see him again.
“Is that so? Hmm, if I knew that before, I’d have taken you to the movies and I wouldn’t have had to suffer through all your rejections,” he says jokingly.
Even though he’s kidding, his words still make me feel bad. Yes, I did reject him multiple times, and truthfully, I was surprised he didn’t give up eventually. What does he see in me?
It’s half past seven, and Jake is picking me up in half an hour. I’m nervously pacing up and down in my apartment. It’s been a long time since I’ve been on a proper date. I’m not sure I know how to behave on one anymore. I hope I don’t make a fool out of myself.
For the tenth time, I step in front of the mirror to check my outfit. I’m dressed in a light pink sleeveless tunic that ties behind my back. Pink glitters are sprinkled across the chest area, which makes the tunic look more elegant. I’m also wearing black tights and black leather boots with high heels. I put the look together with a pair of earrings I haven’t worn before. I finally feel sexy again after a long time. My big, dark eyes are staring back at me from the mirror. I put on some mascara and pink lip-gloss, and run my hands across the clothes to smooth them down. I check if my ponytail is still in its place, and then I move to the couch. My leg is nervously jumping up and down as I wait for Jake to pick me up.