by Darcy, Diane
Juliana’s hands dropped from her face, and she gave Madison a scathing look. “Because Lord Thomas asked me to eat dinner at his side!” She was half angry, and half miserable, and it was so funny, that even though she covered her mouth with her hand and tried to stifle it, Madison laughed.
She gave up her ineffective attempt at sympathy. “So, what? You had what was essentially the medieval version of a bad date? If you had your heart set elsewhere, you should have told him so. He’s a big boy, and he could’ve handled it.”
Madison hesitated for a moment. “Your mother told me you were going to marry Thomas. I didn’t get that wrong, did I?”
“He has not asked me yet, but when he does, I will, of course, say yes.”
Madison turned away, threw her arms into the air, and issued a short scream.
She swung back and said, “He hasn’t even asked you yet? If he does, just say no!”
“My mother,” Juliana said miserably. “If I were to marry Lord Thomas, our situation would be strengthened. She would be settled for the rest of her life. As her daughter, ’tis my duty to assure this.”
Madison shook her head. “You’re going to be miserable for the rest of your life, wishing you were married to Sir Hugh, for your mother? How is that fair to Thomas?”
Juliana looked startled. “I would be a good wife.”
“And you think that would be enough for Thomas? That you’re a good wife, as you yearn for another? Again, I ask, how is that fair to him?”
Juliana did not seem to have an answer for that.
“Just tell your mother that you like Sir Hugh better. She loves you, and I’m sure she wants you to be happy.”
“My mother will insist I accept Lord Thomas’s proposal and be happy for it,” Juliana said with a snap. “I am dreading it, I am afraid of him, and I do not have a choice.”
“You’re afraid of Thomas?” She let her tone reveal her astonishment. “He is a really nice guy. He’s hard-working, and he’s loyal!” She said with a snap of her own, because Juliana, inadvertently or not, had led her to believe he was cheating. On a woman he’d once had dinner with!
“He is so strict and driven. I know he will control every aspect of my life. His voice is loud, he walks fast, and he is big, and frightening. Sir Hugh is wonderful,” she said, her face softening. “Gentle, and kind. A truly sweet man.”
Madison refrained from shaking Juliana. But honestly, she wasn’t really angry, because the giddy relief overwhelming her was front and center. “You’re wrong, you know. Thomas is a pussycat.”
And, she was starting to think that she might be glad to take him off of Juliana’s hands.
“He just likes to get things done. He’s a go-getter, has a lot on his shoulders, and so many people to take care of. It’s a good thing he’s organized.”
She looked at Juliana’s pretty, tragic face. As sorry as she felt for her, it was really Thomas who had her sympathy.
How awful it would be to have a wife who was in love with someone else.
“You need to stop being such a martyr, and figure this out.” Madison started to leave, and then stopped. “And by the way, I’m not going to feel guilty about talking to Thomas anymore.”
Juliana gave her a startled glance. “What?”
Madison rolled her eyes, turned, and walked away.
She’d felt like the other woman, shady, shameful, and selfish.
And Juliana hadn’t even noticed?
Good grief.
* * *
There were all kinds of emotions driving Madison as she hurried inside the keep and walked straight into the great hall.
Joy, sadness, excitement, fear, despair; but she could feel hope rising to the surface.
She glanced around, and for a moment, didn’t see Thomas. She finally spotted him in a group of men by the fireplace.
He glanced up and his gaze locked on hers. Everything she felt for him seemed to well up inside her. How could Juliana not see that he was intelligent, honest, generous. He was optimistic for not just his own future, but for those around him. There was so much to admire. He was remarkable. And, so gorgeous it hurt to look at him sometimes. As fit as an athlete, his tunic and breeches only emphasized the strength of his shoulders, his muscled thighs. His dark eyes stood out in a tanned face surrounded by dark hair. His strong jawline was indicative of his will.
She sighed like a groupie.
Maybe Juliana needed glasses?
Her feelings pushed her onward, clambered for her to stake a claim, call her his, and stay forever.
Her feelings warred with logic. She’d be giving up a lot for him.
She made a quick list. Bathrooms. She’d be giving up bathrooms and hot showers. All kinds of conveniences, and gadgets, and opportunities.
But with him looking at her the way he was, his gaze sharp, and slightly possessive, it didn’t seem to matter.
Desperation had her searching for better reasons.
She’d be giving up her apartment for this crowd. Her lonely apartment.
Her bank account, or rather, her potential bank account after she’d graduated and won the fabulous job she’d been working toward.
All for this man, and the whims of fate.
Before she realized what she was doing, she started walking toward him, then stopped.
He walked away from the group of men he was talking to, startling at least one of them, who tried to call him back.
When he reached her, he asked, “What is it?”
“Oh, Thomas.”
Whatever he saw in her face, heard in her voice, had his eyes burning, that intensity back in spades as he tried to understand.
“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”
As a few people chanted the phrase, Madison realized that they’d stopped under the mistletoe again.
She laughed, because in that moment, it seemed like fate was pulling out all the stops.
Thomas glanced up, then smiled, his eyes darkening in a way that sent hot and cold chills down her spine.
He closed the small distance between them, raised his hands to cup her elbows, and his fingers clenched, once, twice, and his breathing deepened.
Electricity arced through her, every particle of her body seeming to feel that touch, and she leaned toward him, just the slightest bit, and her eyelids fluttered.
It was all the encouragement he needed, and she saw the moment his control broke.
He lowered his head and kissed her, his mouth moving over hers with a slow, gentle fire.
Oh, boy.
She’d done it now.
* * *
He was not the kind of man to repeat his mistakes.
And he’d been thinking about repeating that kiss for a long time, wishing he kissed her thoroughly when he’d had the chance, envisioning every second of it, and yearning for a repeat.
Oh, no, he wasn’t going to waste this opportunity.
Her lips were soft, like the finest of silk, and the lush pressure of her mouth sent a shock of response rushing through him, as he kissed her the way he wanted.
She kissed him back, her lips urgent against his, and his heart thudded as he resisted the desire to wrap her in his arms and pull her even closer.
Clapping, laughter, and jeering made him slowly, oh, so slowly, end the kiss.
They stared at each other, her startled, blue-eyed gaze affecting him even more, and he’d have taken this smallest of excuses, any excuse at all, to kiss her again.
Instead, he stepped back, smiled, and unable to help himself, lifted her hand and kissed the back of it. “My lady.”
She blinked at him, and then slowly smiled back. “Oh, Thomas,” she said again, with the same emotion he’d heard earlier, a sort of plea, an appeal for him to do something about their situation.
He would do something, all right. He was good at working things out.
His heart swelled, as he completely, and irrevocably, became hers.
* * *
For a while, Thomas fel
t as if he were ten feet tall, and floating on a cloud.
He’d never been in love before, and certainly no one had ever been in love with him.
He went about his chores, counting stores in the brewery, with the thought to rush through his tasks so he could return to Madison.
Of course, reality started to intrude, and his feelings of euphoria faded.
Madison had not actually said that she loved him, had she?
And even if she did, what then?
The thought of Madison, with her big smile, big personality, and her very small hips took the juice out of him.
She could be dead within the year, and he would have killed the most bright, beautiful lady he had ever met in his life.
And then there was Juliana. What was he to do about her?
His thoughts left him feeling uncertain, and unsure, and he didn’t like it.
He wasn’t looking to hurt anyone.
He was not looking to dishonor himself or others.
What had seemed so clear earlier, was now tying him in knots.
Anger over the whole situation was giving him a pounding headache, and that was how Lady Felicia found him.
“I have heard of the kiss shared between you and Lady Madison this day. Explain yourself, sir!” she said, fire in her eyes.
She did not give him a chance to respond.
“Did you not make your preference for my daughter clear on Christmas Day? Do you take her feelings in the matter so lightly that you would humiliate her in this matter?”
He did not have any excuses, and saw no way to defend the indefensible.
“You cannot marry two women, my lord. Or did you intend to take Lady Madison as your mistress?”
Anger flared hot in his gut. “No,” he snapped. “No, I do not.”
She hesitated a moment, giving him a chance to speak, but he could not defend himself where her daughter was concerned, so again, he said nothing.
She stormed away, and he was left feeling like his father’s son.
He might have feelings for Madison, and she might return them, but now it had all gone wrong.
He had not been free to court the lady, and he was not irresponsible enough to take what he wanted, and thereby end her life.
He had hurt two ladies, and probably disappointed his grandmother as well.
For the first time since he’d laid out his life plans, he was not sure what to do.
Chapter 21
THE TENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS
She should not have taken this soulmate thing so lightly.
Her feelings for Thomas were actually quite intense.
Yesterday, he’d gone to get some work done, and at the time she’d thought it was for the best, as it gave her time to think.
But a day later, he stood in the back of the chapel while Father Benedict discussed Jesus being officially named in the Jewish Temple.
When she’d turned around and waved, he’d ignored her, leaving her feeling foolish.
He’s hot, he’s cold. He’s hot, he’s cold.
Was this because of Juliana? Maybe she should have said something to Thomas about where Juliana’s heart lay.
But they’d only had a freaking dinner together, and if Thomas didn’t choose her over that? Then that was on him.
In fact, she was glad she hadn’t said anything. If the guy was going to kiss-and-run, he didn’t deserve to know.
The whole thing had hurt her feelings.
What was it about her that seemed to attract men who had a hard time placing her first?
The thought of it depressed her.
She hadn’t liked being second-place the first time around, and she especially didn’t like it now.
Maybe she did need to go home.
That kiss, that fabulous, wonderful kiss hadn’t changed anything.
And even though she was already missing him like an idiot, maybe she’d been right all along and their love had been doomed from the beginning.
Was she going to let a little chemically induced euphoria manage her life?
Or was she going to manage it herself?
Ding, ding, ding! She knew the answer. The future was calling, with independence, freedom, and all the alone time she could wish for.
Lady Felicia hadn’t let her out of her sight today.
She hadn’t said anything, but then she didn’t need to. Her body language spoke plainly for her, and though Madison knew she wasn’t doing anything to hurt Juliana, Lady Felicia’s attitude still made her feel guilty.
Maybe she had been a little harsh on Juliana where her mother was concerned.
The woman had guilt down to a science.
And since Madison’s knight-in-shining-armor was turning out to be a little on the tarnished side, big surprise, two more days, and she was out of there.
Chapter 22
THE ELEVENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS
The next day, Madison skipped out of church.
She knew how it went, anyway.
Some saint or other, did something or other, died horribly, and they were all going to eat in his honor.
She went for a walk, and managed to get through both gates, and take the road to the village.
When she arrived at the outskirts, she turned around, and saw the view of the castle she’d seen that first day when she’d been so confident that she didn’t have a soulmate, or if she did, she would manage to resist him.
Well, that hadn’t worked out very well for her.
She sat on a big rock on the side of the dirt road, and looked at the castle, remembering how formidable it had looked upon her arrival.
When she compared it to her real life in the twenty-first century, where she had work, school, goals, and an empty apartment, Riverdale felt more like home.
She sat there, contemplating the place, and who should she see coming through the outer gate?
Thomas.
Every step he took had her emotions brimming.
Was he coming to work things out? Her silly heart was beating too fast again, and that sly devil, hope, was making everything within her perk.
As he came closer, she studied his military physique, gorgeous face, and shock of dark hair.
He just looked so dear to her, and her overloaded feelings just spilled over, filling her eyes with tears.
He stopped in front of her. “What is this? What are you doing out here? Are you lost?”
She wiped at her eyes. “Am I lost? Are you crazy? Riverdale is right there!” She threw out a hand to indicate the castle and then laughed.
He looked so worried, so serious, but still, her hopes rose.
Maybe he was thinking along the same lines and had come out here to talk about it all?
She loved him. The thought ambushed her, and her emotions threatened to overwhelm once again, and she looked away as she reached up to touch an earring.
She was ready to admit that Father Cuthbert had been right. Thomas was her soulmate.
He was smart, hard-working, and self-assured about everything except for women.
She really loved him, and if he asked her to stay, right here and now, she was going to say yes.
She wouldn’t have shopping malls, or grocery stores, or any guarantees. She’d have to give up her degree, her goal of becoming a business owner, and her grand plans to fill her bank account.
If he asked her, she was going to say yes.
He glanced around. “Why, exactly, are you here?”
“I was just walking, thinking.”
He gave her a nod. “I understand. I do the same, sometimes. It does help to untangle my thoughts.”
They were both silent for a long moment.
His mouth twisted. “Lady Madison, I have come to apologize for yesterday’s kiss. I may have led you to believe I was free to love and choose where I might.”
Her mouth parted, and she looked at him.
“I have given Lady Juliana reason to believe that I intend to ask her to marry me, and my honor will not allow
me to choose otherwise.”
Her heart thudded hard in her chest.
He wasn’t going to choose her.
“I know I told you a little about my father. He was without honor, and he made my mother’s life a misery. I swore that I would never be like him, and I find I cannot go back on that commitment.”
She swallowed back the pressure of tears. He really was not going to choose her.
She looked at him, at the agony in his expression, and actually did understand.
His honorable nature was one of the things that she loved about him.
If she’d had to give her heart, at least it was to a man worth loving this time around.
She could tell him about Juliana and Hugh, but it wasn’t her place to decide Juliana’s future.
True love did not always conquer all, and if she did tell Thomas, it would be for selfish reasons.
For all she knew, Juliana had legitimate motivations not to marry Hugh. Money or security? Maybe it was important to her to set her children up for a bright future in these harsh times.
Women did not have a lot of choices in the here and now, and Juliana’s mother was no doubt looking out for her, as mothers tended to do.
Just because Madison’s heart was breaking, didn’t mean she had to be the villain of the piece.
She found that she could be no less honorable than Thomas.
Her fight to keep her heart from him had been pointless. She would’ve stayed if he’d so much as quirked a finger. She was probably the only person who could cross time and distance for a soulmate, only to be rejected.
At least she would always know that she had loved a worthy man.
Tears pricked her eyes and she lowered her gaze to hide them. The last thing she wanted to do was make him feel guilty.
“Thank you for telling me. If it’s all right with you, I would prefer to walk back to the castle alone.” For both their sakes.
Ramrod straight, he gave her a quick nod. “I have business in the village and will let you be on your way.”
Yes, she would be on her way, all right.
The moment Father Cuthbert arrived, she was out of there.