by KB Winters
“No, Everlie, please don’t say that. It’s not. We can still do that. I have three weeks and then my resignation will be signed and I’ll go home, no matter what happens with Bennett and the agency. I’ll be free and we can find a way to make things work.”
“I can’t. Ryker, I can’t trust you.”
Ryker sighed at my declaration and a tinge of guilt pricked at my heart, but I squared my shoulders like a big girl and pushed past him and left the hotel room. Each step away from him tore away a piece of my heart, but I kept going, marching to the elevators and then out of the hotel. Somehow able to walk away without looking back.
Chapter Nine
Everlie
There wasn’t a morning that started, or a night that ended, without thoughts of Ryker. Even once my show rehearsals started, it was impossible to banish him from my tired and overworked mind. Learning the new choreography for Fly was the hardest I’d ever trained and keeping up with my training quickly became the sole focus of life. I hardly saw Tori anymore. All my other friends worked the opposite schedule. I hadn’t even heard from my mother in weeks. The new role was fulfilling and I enjoyed the rush of the challenge, but it was hard not to succumb to loneliness as soon as I left the studio.
It didn’t help that Ryker’s ghost was always there waiting for me to have even a fraction of a second of free time.
I hadn’t spoken to him since the night in his hotel room. He’d called, sent emails, text messages, and three flower arrangements with long letters attached. I deleted every message and threw away every letter before reading them. My heart ached too much without his sweet words and pleas for forgiveness adding to my pain.
I pushed my Ryker thoughts into a little box at the back of my mind before entering the studio for my fourth full day of rehearsal. I plastered on a glowing, prima ballerina smile, and sauntered into the room with a confidence I didn’t feel. It was important—as the star—to hold everyone together. I knew being the lead would put that extra pressure on me, and had resolved to not let the mess with Ryker interfere with my performance. I would lead the cast. I would be the star.
It’s what I’d always wanted. And now that the opportunity was in front of me, I wasn’t going to let him take it away from me. I only let my happy, top of the world routine fade when I was home alone. To everyone else, I was fine. I was better than fine.
“Everlie!” Ricardo, the lead choreographer, rushed me as soon as I stepped into the studio. I set my bag down and noticed a tall, sandy blonde haired figure in his wake. He was wearing a form fitted black tank top that clung to his expansive chest. He was ripped, but in an understated, non-meat-head way, that told me he was a dancer. “Everlie, meet Jason! Jason, this is Everlie.”
My mouth dropped open as recognition hit me. “Jason Burge?”
Ricardo nodded, and puffed out his chest like a proud father. Jason, meanwhile, smiled with a twinge of pink in his cheeks as he reached for my hand. “Nice to meet you, Everlie.”
I searched for the right words, but they all failed. Jason Burge was a world famous dancer. I’d seen him on a popular TV dance show as one of the judges. “I’m sorry, wow, I just, I had no idea you were—”
“The lead?” He finished, smiling more broadly at me. He still held my hand and I gawked, completely starstruck.
He was my lead? We’d be playing lovers in the show?
Ricardo clapped his hands. “You two are simply beautiful together! Now, let’s get started. Not a moment to waste!”
He set off to gather the other dancers, and Jason finally released my hand. “I’m looking forward to working with you as well, Everlie. Mark and Ricardo have been singing your praises.”
“Oh, wow,” I said, blushing so hot my face almost melted. “Thank you, that’s very kind.”
Ricardo called us over and we walked together to the center of the large studio. “Everyone, listen up! As most of you have noticed, we have a celebrity in our midst!” He gestured to Jason—who waved and smiled. He was comfortable, but I sensed he didn’t necessarily like the title of celebrity. “He is a last minute addition to the cast and will be taking over for the lead male.”
Everyone—myself included—broke out into applause. Ricardo hushed us again and began giving out the instructions for the day.
Over the course of the rehearsals, I learned that Mark—the head producer—had jumped through a series of hoops to sign Jason for the show, and it was some last minute contract negotiations that had held him up from joining our rehearsals from the beginning. However, as the day unfolded, it was clear to everyone he was not going to struggle with the choreography.
Jason’s appearance upped the ante on so many different levels, and although working with him, and beside him, was an honor, I couldn’t help but feel the added weight that his presence brought with it. He was one of the best dancers I’d ever seen in person and I knew having his name beside mine on the program and marquee was only going to rocket the show to infamy so much faster.
I had to be ready for it.
* * * *
The days blurred together, my sense of time—or even what day of the week it was—got lost in twelve-hour rehearsal sessions that sometimes ended up crammed together with only a few hours of rest in between. The excitement was palpable and by the end of the first full week of rehearsals with Jason, things were gelling together nicely and starting to become more fluid and smooth.
“You’re doing very well,” Jason said, lowering into the seat next to me after the last run through of the week. We were getting a rare day off between rehearsals and my body was begging to get home and soak in the tub for a couple of hours with a bottle of wine.
“Thank you,” I replied, tucking my chin. “Sometimes, I still can’t believe this is all happening.”
He laughed softly. “I know what you mean. I still feel like that. Time just flies by.”
I nodded. “It sure does.”
“What are you doing tomorrow? Free day and all that.”
“Sleeping!” I burst out, laughing at my own enthusiasm. Sleep had never felt more precious.
Jason joined in, his laugh a low, timber that enveloped me with warmth. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. We spent most of the day tangled in each other’s arms, practicing various lifts, but I still felt awkward around him. It was like being on the freshman cheer squad and suddenly finding myself on the sidelines of an NFL game and the lead quarterback was looking my way. He was very handsome, and the embodiment of a gentleman, making sure I was always comfortable and at ease, especially with the more intimate choreography.
He was everything I was supposed to want.
But, even weeks later—my mind and heart were still longing for Ryker.
“I was wondering if maybe you’d want to get a coffee or lunch. You know, in between your nap schedule,” Jason continued, adding a quirk of humor to his question. “I think it would be nice to spend some time together outside of all this. You know, in regular clothes. The whole nine yards.”
I smiled at him through my heart racing panic. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to get to know him, but the idea of sitting in a coffee shop alone with him made me nervous. I knew why. It was obvious. I was still very much in love with Ryker, and no matter how many times I replayed his deceit and lies, it was pointless. My heart wasn’t ready to let him go yet.
Was I ever going to be free of Ryker?
It was beginning to feel like a hopeless wish.
Jason was watching me expectantly, his bright blue eyes steady on mine. “I think I’d like that,” I said, finally finding my answer. I nodded, cementing my choice, and Jason smiled at me.
“Great!” He reached into the bag at his feet and fished out his sleek phone. “Here, let me get your number.”
We exchanged numbers and he walked me out and waited until I was safely in my own car, before he walked away towards his own. I watched him go in the rear view mirror. “It’s okay, Ev. You can do this.”
After al
l, I’d have to move on eventually.
Chapter Ten
Ryker
It took four, long ass, miserable weeks, but Boss finally called me into his office.
“I heard you’ve made a decision,” he started, once I was seated.
I chocked back the urge to tell him I’d made my decision nearly two months before. “Yes, sir. I’m glad I was able to come in and help resolve things, but I would still like to resign.”
Boss stared at me for a long moment, his knowing eyes searching my face. When he leaned back in his chair, he released me, and let out a sigh. “All right, Knight. I’d hoped you would change your mind, but I’ll hold to my end of the bargain. I’ll draw up the paperwork and set up an exit interview. After that, you’ll be free to go…ranch? Was it?”
Something about the way he said it irked me, but I stamped it down. I’d served my country for years, and it was time to move on and focus on my own life. “Thank you, sir.”
When I left Boss’s office, Bennett was there waiting for me. He was leaned up against the hall, one booted foot braced on the wall behind him. At my appearance, he straightened and after one glance over, his face fell. “You really did it…”
It wasn’t a question.
“Ben, it’s time.”
To my surprise, the anger in his eyes died down, and he bobbed his head. “I don’t want to argue with you about this. I guess, I’d just thought that after the last few weeks, maybe you’d come around.”
I stared at my friend, my brother, and for the first time, felt what he was feeling. Loss. We’d gone through so much together, and after leaving the military and pursuing the FBI shit, it had appeared we’d find a way to stay side by side for years to come.
“You wanna get a beer?” I asked.
He smiled weakly, the offer my best consolation. “Sure.”
Bennett drove us across town to an out of the way bar. Apparently neither of us were in the mood for a big, flashy scene. Bennett went to the bar and ordered us two beers while I secured a table and ordered a basket of wings to split from a passing waitress. Bennett came over with the drinks and set one in front of me before sliding into his seat. “What should we drink to? Those Sanderson bastards being locked away for good?”
In the whirlwind since my return to Vegas, the task force had been able to locate another branch of Sanderson’s organization that had led the team to the source of the explosives the group was gathering in preparation for an attack on a Los Angeles bus terminal. For the most part, the case was wrapped. There were a few stragglers who were being pursued using information gathered in the interrogation process of the jailed members.
“I’ll drink to that,” I said, offering up my glass to Bennett’s.
“When are you leaving?” He asked, after taking a large gulp off the top of his beer.
“I don’t know for sure. Boss was kinda sparse with the details. I have to do some paperwork and an exit interview. God only knows what that’ll be like. I’ll probably have to spend a whole day answering a battery of pointless questions and sign a mountain of non-disclosures.”
“Sounds like a fucking party.”
“Yeah.”
“Then back to the ranch?”
“That’s the plan. There’s a shit ton of work left to do. I barely got started before I had to come back here.”
Bennett nodded. “Sorry man. I didn’t have a choice. It was good to have you here. I’m still not ready to say goodbye, but it was nice to have more time. You know, not wanting to kill each other.” He grinned ruefully.
I laughed and tapped our glasses together again in a mock toast. “You’ll get a break soon and you can come out and help me get things up and running. If you’re in luck, it’ll be hay bailing time.”
“Oh shit,” Bennett snorted. “Yeah, that’d be wonderful!”
I laughed harder at his reaction. Bennett and I had both hated to bale hay, but had never been left out of the backbreaking job when we visited the ranch.
“As long as we can go into town and find some horny cowgirls at quittin’ time,” Bennett added, waggling a brow.
I was struck dumb. I wanted to throw back some dry, witty retort, but I couldn’t find anything to say. It felt like a lifetime had passed since the last time Bennett and I had been out together, hunting down an easy score for the night. I didn’t even remember that version of myself anymore.
Bennett eyed me over his beer. “I haven’t asked, but what happened? With Everlie?”
“Everything…and, nothing.” I gulped back another swallow of beer which lost its flavor. “It’s a long story.”
“Hey, I’ve got nowhere else to be,” Bennett replied.
It had been a long time since Bennett and I had really had a chance to talk the way we used to. In the few weeks since my return to Vegas, we had shared a few conversations that weren’t related to the case, but they had all revolved around my time home and on the ranch. Bennett and I had started rebuilding our relationship on the foundation of our childhood days spent together on the ranch. However, as we sat in the bar, I realized it hadn’t been enough. There was still a gap between us that made it hard to tell him what had happened with Everlie.
Bennett sighed impatiently. “Ryker, just tell me. I swear, it’s like you don’t even remember who I am anymore.”
“I know who you are, Bennett, but…I don’t know.”
“Listen, man. I know I wasn’t as buddy-buddy as I should have been, but that’s in the past now. Tell me what’s going on.”
We polished off another round as I told him about the week we’d spent at the ranch and the way she’d found out about the real reason I’d been in Vegas. Bennett listened intently as I explained everything, and while he didn’t have much in the way of advice, the conversation helped get everything out of my head.
“Another round?” Bennett asked when I’d finished. We’d already amassed four empty glasses and gone through two baskets of wings.
I shook my head and pushed aside my glass. “I’m good. Thanks for listening.”
“No worries man. Not to get too pussy or anything, but this was good.”
I laughed and agreed. “I’ve missed you too.”
Bennett picked up the tab and I made my way back to my hotel. I turned on the TV to provide background noise in order to drown out the lingering thoughts the conversation had brought up. Within the next few days I’d be on a plane back to Oklahoma and all of it could finally be laid to rest. At least, I knew I had Bennett back on my side.
Chapter Eleven
Everlie
“So, how are things with Jason?” Tori asked, her voice bright and sing-songy.
I sighed and rocked back on my heels, pausing before putting the DVD into the player. On a rare girl’s night in, Tori and I had assembled the essentials: rom-com DVD, copious amounts of wine, popcorn, chocolate ice cream, and mud masks. We were about to start the movie and dive into the pile of snacks on the coffee table, when Tori finally popped the question I knew she’d been holding onto all night.
“Don’t give me that,” Tori scolded, marching back into the room. She set down a bowl of popcorn amid the other snacks and settled into her usual place on the couch. She stared me down as she fixed her mess of curls into a high ponytail. She was as dressed down as she ever got, a face full of makeup but her clothing actually covered most of her body, built for comfort and not attention. “I know you like him.”
I popped the DVD into the player and stood up. “Nothing’s happened, really. We’ve had coffee a couple times. Nothing romantic.”
Tori smiled. “You actually sound disappointed.”
“I guess, sorta,” I paused, still working to untangle my thoughts about the whole thing. I hadn’t known what to expect when Jason had first asked me out to coffee, and things had only gotten more confusing after meeting up outside of rehearsals a couple of times. Jason had always been a complete gentleman, never attempting to be anything more than a friend. But, he had never invited a
nyone else from the cast to join us, and I hadn’t seen him leaving with anyone else either. There was obviously something different between us, but I wasn’t sure what to make of it. “I mean, he’s amazing, obviously. He’s the most beautiful dancer I’ve ever seen. He brings each dance to life and it’s so…” I struggled to find the right words. “He’s so vibrant and alive. He makes me a better dancer, but then, he also makes it feel so easy.”
I sighed and Tori giggled. “Sounds like love!”
I rolled my eyes and flopped on the couch next to her. “Get real, Tori. Besides, aren’t you the anti-cupid?”
“Well, yes, for myself. But, for you, I’m just happy to see you getting over Ryker. I was starting to worry that you were really…you know…heartbroken.”
“I was,” I replied, my voice soft. I grabbed a pillow and picked at the raised pattern in the material. “I still am. I think about him all the time. I guess, I was hoping Jason would help me move on.”
“Which, he has.” Tori was so matter of fact that I nodded in agreement, although I still remained unconvinced.
“Anyways, I don’t really think it would be good for us to get much more involved anyways. At least, not while the show is running. Believe me, I’ve heard some whopper stories about bad breakups wrecking a good show. This is my chance, my big shot, and I’m not trading that for some guy. I wouldn’t give it up for Ryker, and I’m not risking it for whatever this thing is with Jason.”
“Lucky for you, I have the solution to all your problems,” Tori said, leaning forward and holding up a bottle of wine. Her other hand grasped a bag of chocolates and tossed them over into my lap. “Let’s get this party going!”