If Only
Page 37
But she must only be involved if they want her to be, Frances promises herself. She will try to be a good grandmother, not one who watches every move and offers her unsolicited opinions.
Alf lies awake, listening to the unfamiliar creaks and echoes of this huge house.
He will get a job. It will be easy enough to find work as a waiter in London. If he’s working in the evenings, he’ll be able to look after the baby during the day, and Letty will be able to finish her studies. Maybe they’ll swap around when the baby is a little older, and he will study, or teach, or both. There must be plenty of dance schools in London.
Donna will be a gran and Cheryl will be a great gran! He’s not sure whether she’ll like that. But they’ve got enough on their plate at the moment, so he will wait a while to tell them. Those two tiny girls will be aunts!
And he will be a parent and so will Letty. And they will both rise to the challenge because he will give her the confidence she needs, and she will have high expectations of him and each day will always be interesting.
And they will make love, and they will dance.
Letty lies staring through the bare window at the night sky, thinking how strange it is that they are the same countless stars that twinkled over them in Rome.
In a year’s time, there will be a baby; in two years, a toddler; in three, maybe they will return there with a little girl or boy, and take a picture of him or her on the empty pedestal.
Or none of that may happen.
That is the future.
Letty closes her eyes and snuggles into the warmth of Alf’s body.
This is the present, and it is lovely, and she is the happiest she has ever been, living in the moment.
Acknowledgements
I am lucky to have the best professional team supporting my writing. Thank you to my clever, intuitive agent and friend Mark Lucas, and to Niamh O’Grady, Araminta Whitley, Alice Saunders, Annette Murphy and everyone at The Soho Agency; to Nicki Kennedy, Sam Edenborough, Jenny Robson, Katherine West, Alice Natali and May Wall at ILA; to Stephanie Cabot at the Gernert Company in New York.
It’s a joy to be published by Mantle and Pan Macmillan and I am fortunate to have Sam Humphreys as my editor. Thank you, Sam, for being so thoughtful, intelligent and kind. Thanks also to the whole dynamic team especially Rosie Wilson, Sarah Arratoon, Josie Humber, Maria Rejt, Alice Gray, Natalie Young and to Claire Gatzen for her sharp-eyed copy-editing.
I am grateful to Iris Tupholme at HarperCollins Canada for her incisive thinking and care, and to every one of the international editors who have loved my work and published it all over the world.
Thank you, Carol Dunbar, for teaching me to waltz and thank you, Nick, for the lovely times we shared at Blackpool Tower Ballroom and elsewhere.
I have been going to see the Royal Ballet for many years. Usually, I have watched from slips seats in the amphitheatre which cost less than a cinema ticket. We are so lucky to have this wonderful company as part of our cultural life in the UK, and now their performances are regularly screened live around the world. Do go see them. Thanks to the entire company for your beautiful dancing and commitment to perfection. Thank you, Sarah Lamb, for the moving performance of Manon that I describe in this book. I am indebted to Carlos Acosta, the greatest dancer of his generation and a brilliant man. My heartfelt thanks to Marianela Nuñez, not only for her virtuoso dancing, but also for her sparkling and generous personality on and off stage. I am especially grateful to Vadim Muntagirov for his extraordinary grace, soaring leaps, dazzling artistry and beautiful character.
Thank you to Connor’s friends, for giving me feedback and helping me with my research. I’m talking about you Dr Michael Bussell, Liam Donachy, Simon Card, Jacob Webster, Jamie Knowles, Sam Drew and Beth Nicholas.
To my lifelong friends Martha Kearney, Lucy Tuck, Isabel O’Keeffe, Debra Isaac, Charles Elton, Nick Marston, Rod McNeil, Dee Slade, Molly Friedrich, Anne McDermid and Felicity Bryan, thanks for all the good times.
Finally, I could not have written If Only without the support and love of my amazing, loyal, wonderful sister Becky and my gifted, charming, altogether marvellous son Connor, who is my favourite dancer of all! You know how much I love you – the entire universe and beyond – and this book is for you.
About the Author
KATE EBERLEN grew up in a small town close to London and spent her childhood reading books and longing to escape to the big city. She studied classics at Oxford University before pursuing a variety of jobs in publishing, the arts, and teaching. Kate loves Italy and dance, two passions that are reflected in If Only. She now lives in London.
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Copyright
If Only
Copyright © 2020 by Kate Eberlen.
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Published by Harper Avenue, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd
Published simultaneously in the United Kingdom by Pan Books, an imprint of Pan Macmillan, as Only You
EPub Edition APRIL 2020 EPub ISBN: 978-1-44-345928-0
Version 02152020
Print ISBN: 978-1-44-345927-3
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Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
Title: If only / Kate Eberlen.
Names: Eberlen, Kate, author.
Identifiers: Canadiana (print) 20200171445 | Canadiana (ebook) 20200171453 | ISBN 9781443459273 (softcover) | ISBN 9781443459280 (ebook)
Classification: LCC PR6105.B47 I32 2020 | DDC 823/.92—dc23
LSC/C 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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