The Geography of Murder

by P. A. Brown

  "Fuck me," I said.

  "Where...?" His voice was little more than a desperate groan. His need was contagious; my nerve endings sang with it.

  308

  Geography of Murder

  by P. A. Brown

  I kept a small bedside table where I stored whatever book I was currently reading. It had a single drawer where I kept a small supply of lube and condoms. They might sit there for weeks, in truth had never been used, but I wasn't going to be caught unprepared. I had been tested after my rehab and been pronounced virus free. I never intended to play that deadly game again. I pulled out the lube and a foil wrapped packet and handed it to him.

  He took them with shaking hands. In the end I had to open the wrapper while he smeared my ass with warm gel and pushed two fingers inside me. He probed me gently, stroking the spongy tissue inside me. I nearly bit my tongue at the assault on my senses. When he slid his sheathed cock between my ass cheeks I raised my legs over his back, bracing against his rigid shoulders, opening myself up to him.

  He grew gentle again, inserting the fat head into my ass, making the first tentative foray past the tight ring of muscle guarding my hole. The first stroke of his cock over my prostate sent my senses into overdrive. I thrust up under him, silently demanding he fill me. Instead he teased me.

  Withdrawing until only the bulbous head was inside, then slipping most of the way in, only to pull out again. Only when I reached between my legs and cupped his swollen balls in my hand did he lose it. He moaned my name and pushed into me, burying himself up my ass. Again and again he thrust into me, his breath coming in shattered grunts, hot against my sweating skin, muttering guttural obscenities and whispered endearments in my ear, using words I'd never heard from him before.

  309

  Geography of Murder

  by P. A. Brown

  He rose above me, his face a mask of lust. Reaching between us, he wrapped his fist around my cock and began pumping me in rhythm to his thrusts. His touch was so sure, so knowing. But still he was gentle. Too gentle. I needed more. I needed my Alex back. I pushed him over and rolled with him, still impaled on his cock. He stared up at me, glazed eyes half lidded. I grabbed both his hands and planted them on my chest, pinching and pulling the rings that pierced my nipples, rocking against him. When he caught on, he squeezed my fat swollen nipples between his fingers and thrust up under me roughly.

  "Yes," I muttered, leaning down to bite his throat. Only he could do this to me. Pain lanced straight from my nipples to my groin and I sucked in a groan. I threw my head back and shouted, "Harder. Harder!"

  This time he obeyed me and we pounded toward release.

  My balls crawled up as my orgasm slammed into me. I roared his name as hot streamers of cum poured out of me, splashing over his fist and stomach. Inside me, his cock throbbed and pulsed as he emptied himself into the condom.

  With a shudder he pulled me down into his arms, his face pressed against my neck. I curled my hands around his head, feeling the sharp rasp of shaved hair under my fingers. In contrast, the skin below his ears was soft as silk.

  We cuddled, something we had rarely done before or after sex prior to this. I traced the line of his cheek, jaw, throat, re-familiarizing myself with his personal geography. A pleasurable lassitude filled me. A coming home. His pulse beat under my fingertips. I felt the flutter of his eyelashes 310

  Geography of Murder

  by P. A. Brown

  against my throat. Their dampness startled me. Was he crying? Not my Alex. I pulled back and stared down at him.

  Diamond lights of moisture were scattered over his reddish lashes. He blinked them away, but I saw no shame there.

  Only a guileless need.

  "Oh, baby," he murmured. "Did you miss me?"

  I started laughing then, my whole body shaking and trembling in silent mirth. Within seconds he had joined me.

  Only when we were gasping for lack of air did we subside, lying side by side now, our sticky bellies pressed together, arms and legs entwined. He smoothed the damp hair off my forehead and stared into my eyes.

  "You forgot something."

  I struggled up onto one elbow. "What? At your place?"

  "No." He leaned across me and pulled something out of his jean's pocket. "The hospital."

  Before I could say anything else his fingers encircled my throat. When he sat up my hand went up and felt the supple leather collar he had put around my neck. My fingers traced the metal ring that rested above my Adam's apple. When his hand covered mine our eyes met. Before I knew what he was doing he clamped steel over my nipples, sending familiar shards of pain straight to my groin. Oh God, I wanted him again. Hard and rough, with no holding back this time. I wanted him to take me home to his sling and his leather hood and cuffs and show me how much he really needed me. Only he could give me that.

  "Now," he whispered. "You belong to me. I love you, Jason Aaron Zachary," he said.

  311

  Geography of Murder

  by P. A. Brown

  I saw the truth of his words in his eyes. Once they had seemed so cold, like an ocean storm must look over the bow of a doomed ship, but now all I could see was the warmth of his love and adoration. I knew my eyes reflected the same thing.

  I said the words anyway, because they were such a delight to say aloud.

  "I love you, too."

  Alex nuzzled my throat above the collar that symbolized everything I had ever hoped for. "Thank you," he said.

  I played with the fine hair on his chest, leaned over and kissed his shoulder that smelled of warm sweat and cum and soap. He flipped me over and rose above me on stiff arms. He was aroused again.

  "What for? For loving you?"

  "For all the times I never said it when I should have. For everything."

  I smiled up at him. He tightened his grip on my arm, and I surrendered to him completely.

  "You're welcome."

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  312

  Geography of Murder

  by P. A. Brown

  About the Author

  Pat was born in Canada, which she is sure explains her intense dislike of all things cold and her constant striving to escape to someplace warm. Her first move took her to Los Angeles, and her fate was sealed. To this day she has a love/hate relationship with L.A, a city that was endlessly fascinating. L.A. Heat and the even darker L.A. Boneyard grew out of those dark, compelling days.

  She wrote her first book at 17—an angst ridden tome about a teenage girl hooked up with a drug user and went off the deep end. All this from a kid who hadn't done anything stronger than weed. She read her first positive gay book then too, The Lord Won't Mind, by Gordon Merrick and had her eyes open to a whole other world (which didn't exist in ultra conservative vanilla plain London, Ontario).

  Visit Pat on the internet at: www.pabrown.ca/

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  313

  Geography of Murder

  by P. A. Brown

  MLR Press Authors

  Featuring a roll call of some of the best writers of gay erotica and mysteries today!

  Maura Anderson

  Victor J. Banis

  Jeanne Barrack

  Laura Baumbach

  Alex Beecroft

  Sarah Black

  Ally Blue

  J.P. Bowie

  P.A. Brown

  James Buchanan

  Jordan Castillo Price

  Kirby Crow

  Dick D.

  Jason Edding

  Angela Fiddler

  Dakota Flint

  Kimberly Gardner

  Storm Grant

  Amber Green

  LB Gregg

  Drewey Wayne Gunn

  Samantha Kane

  Kiernan Kelly

  JL Langley

  314

  Geography of Murder

  by P. A. Brown

  Josh Lanyon

  Clare London

  William Maltese
/>
  Gary Martine

  ZA Maxfield

  Jet Mykles

  L. Picaro

  Neil Plakcy

  Luisa Prieto

  Rick R. Reed

  AM Riley

  George Seaton

  Jardonn Smith

  Caro Soles

  Richard Stevenson

  Claire Thompson

  Kit Zheng

  Check out titles, both available and forthcoming, at www.mlrpress.com

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  315

  Geography of Murder

  by P. A. Brown

  the trevor project

  The Trevor Project operates the only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth. Every day, The Trevor Project saves lives though its free and confidential helpline, its website and its educational services. If you or a friend are feeling lost or alone call The Trevor Helpline. If you or a friend are feeling lost, alone, confused or in crisis, please call The Trevor Helpline. You'll be able to speak confidentially with a trained counselor 24/7.

  The Trevor Helpline: 866-488-7386

  On the Web: www.thetrevorproject.org/

  the gay men's domestic violence project Founded in 1994, The Gay Men's Domestic Violence Project is a grassroots, non-profit organization founded by a gay male survivor of domestic violence and developed through the strength, contributions and participation of the community.

  The Gay Men's Domestic Violence Project supports victims and survivors through education, advocacy and direct services. Understanding that the serious public health issue of domestic violence is not gender specific, we serve men in relationships with men, regardless of how they identify, and stand ready to assist them in navigating through abusive relationships.

  GMDVP Helpline: 800.832.1901

  On the Web: gmdvp.org/

  316

  Geography of Murder

  by P. A. Brown

  the gay & lesbian alliance against defamation/glaad en español

  The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (glaad) is dedicated to promoting and ensuring fair, accurate and inclusive representation of people and events in the media as a means of eliminating homophobia and discrimination based on gender identity and sexual orientation.

  On the Web: www.glaad.org/

  glaad en español: www.glaad.org/espanol/bienvenido.php servicemembers legal defense network Servicemembers Legal Defense Network is a nonpartisan, nonprofit, legal services, watchdog and policy organization dedicated to ending discrimination against and harassment of military personnel affected by "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

  (dadt).The sldn provides free, confidential legal services to all those impacted by dadt and related discrimination. Since 1993, its inhouse legal team has responded to more than 9,000 requests for assistance. In Congress, it leads the fight to repeal dadt and replace it with a law that ensures equal treatment for every servicemember, regardless of sexual orientation. In the courts, it works to challenge the constitutionality of dadt.

  sldn Call: (202) 328-3244

  PO Box 65301 or (202) 328-FAIR

  Washington DC 20035-5301 e-mail: sldn@sldn.org On the Web: sldn.org/

  the glbt national help center

  The glbt National Help Center is a nonprofit, tax-exempt organization that is dedicated to meeting the needs of the 317

  Geography of Murder

  by P. A. Brown

  gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community and those questioning their sexual orientation and gender identity. It is an outgrowth of the Gay & Lesbian National Hotline, which began in 1996 and now is a primary program of The glbt National Help Center. It offers several different programs including two national hotlines that help members of the glbt community talk about the important issues that they are facing in their lives. It helps end the isolation that many people feel, by providing a safe environment on the phone or via the internet to discuss issues that people can't talk about anywhere else. The glbt National Help Center also helps other organizations build the infrastructure they need to provide strong support to our community at the local level.

  National Hotline: 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564) National Youth Talkline 1-800-246-PRIDE (1-800-246-7743)

  On the Web: www.glnh.org/

  e-mail: info@glbtnationalhelpcenter.org If you're a GLBT and questioning student heading off to university, should know that there are resources on campus for you. Here's just a sample:

  US Local GLBT college campus organizations dv-8.com/resources/us/local/campus.html GLBT Scholarship Resources tinyurl.com/6fx9v6

  Syracuse University lgbt.syr.edu/

  Texas A&M glbt.tamu.edu/

  Tulane University www.oma.tulane.edu/LGBT/Default.htm University of Alaska www.uaf.edu/agla/

  318

  Geography of Murder

  by P. A. Brown

  University of California, Davis lgbtrc.ucdavis.edu/

  University of California, San Francisco lgbt.ucsf.edu/

  University of Colorado www.colorado.edu/glbtrc/

  University of Florida www.dso.ufl.edu/multicultural/lgbt/

  University of Hawaiÿi, Manoa manoa.hawaii.edu/lgbt/

  University of Utah www.sa.utah.edu/lgbt/

  University of Virginia

  www.virginia.edu/deanofstudents/lgbt/

  Vanderbilt University www.vanderbilt.edu/lgbtqi/

  319