To Believe: A Man’s Quest to Understand Reality

by M I A Harba

  Although he didn’t feel any fear, he could sense a presence around him, like people watching over his shoulders. It must be the delayed effects of the panic of yesterday, he thought.

  The supplies lorry was due in two days. There was a lot of cleaning to do around the house, and he was really tired. The lack of sleep of the night before, and the mental exhaustion that came with the panicked archaeologists, were debilitating. He needed to sleep. He decided to send a message to the electrician, to come over if the solar panels did not work.

  He spent the rest of the afternoon sweeping around the house and cleaning the inside from the fine layer of fine dust that covered everything. It was a challenge clearing the fine dust, and opening the windows while dusting was the best he could think of. He wrapped a wet handkerchief around his mouth and nostrils in the process.

  He found a couple of scorpions on the patio, apparently carried by the storm. They were both dead, which spared him the need to kill them that he did not cherish.

  He sat on the sofa to contemplate what had transpired. Where did all this fit within the theories he was assessing?

  What does the Simulation Hypothesis, consciousness or relativity have to say about this intense experience with the paranormal? Perhaps religion has the best explanation: demons, or jinnees, from the beyond. Science would say it is their imagination. The Simulation would perhaps say it is a malfunction of the algorithm. No, it must be something else, something that science has been unable to fathom. We only understand 5% of the known universe!

  His tired mind could no longer tolerate thinking about it, so he decided to have an early night after dinner. He prepared a pot of soup, out of a soup tin, and had it with pita bread. The lights still operated, but Sam wasn’t sure whether the solar panels worked, or that was the remaining charge in the batteries. He retired to bed early, after attempting some reading.

  A few noises came from the direction of the kitchen, but nothing was there when he attended to it. It must be his imagination.

  He fell asleep quickly, but sometimes in the night, he woke up to the screeching noise of a table or a chair being pushed on the uncarpeted floor. He raised his head and listened. There was nothing, maybe he imagined it, too. So he went back to sleep, and it was a demonic night, with nightmares, scary visions, and soul torments. He woke up at the crack of dawn and went to prepare coffee. It was useless to continue with his very strenuous sleep, as it was causing more stress than comfort.

  With a mug of hot coffee, he sat on the sofa and looked out of the windows. The beautiful dawn with golden threads emanating from the remote horizon was announcing the birth of a new desert day. He decided to pull a chair to the patio to watch this colourful display in the fresh air of the morning. He was taken aback by what he saw when retrieving a chair. The table had been moved and was pointing in an obscure angle at the kitchen. He couldn’t remember it that way last night. Then he remembered the noise that woke him up; something must have moved it. A poltergeist was the first thought that jumped to his head.

  His limbs trembled at the thought, and his fingers could not grip the chair. He gazed around the room to see any proof of anything else moved. Maybe he left the table in that position while cleaning yesterday. Or was it what Rami and Kareem warned him of? But their description of what they saw was different, not a being that pushed furniture but an immensely scary being, out of this world. It scared him, but he must get a grip on himself.

  Sitting on the patio and looking out to the far horizon, he wasn’t watching nature’s beauty anymore. He was thinking, and dreading, what he might see or hear at night. He didn’t feel fear during the day, but the senses became fine-tuned at night when one was most vulnerable.

  Rami and Kareem didn’t have the courage to open the door at night but were fine when daylight broke. It must be in the mind, he thought. But it should happen irrespective of day or night, shouldn’t it? Sam felt a little fear deep in his heart on that beautiful morning but knew it would be more intense at night. He dreaded the night and braced himself for a bad experience.

  The food supply delivery was due tomorrow, and he feared the story about the dig might have reached Rawa. Rami or Kareem might have disclosed their encounter with whatever scared them, to others. Sam knew such news could spread like fire in a haystack. People love stories about the paranormal, or demons and jinnees. On the other hand, they might not talk about their experience for fear of being labelled scaredy cats. Rawa is a male’s society, where fear is looked down upon. Hopefully, they didn’t.

  The following night was horrendous. He woke up many times due to immensely scary faces staring at him. The sound of furniture being pushed, and the water tap in the kitchen being turned on and off, sent shivers down his spine. He covered his head under the blanket and put his fingers in his ears. He didn’t want to see or hear anything. He never felt so vulnerable before. He wanted to run away, but where to? He didn’t dare to leave his bed, never mind find his way to the pickup.

  The monstrous vision was as they described, ugliness in its worst fashion, mouth and teeth gnashing at him close. At times, he felt his bed was being rocked violently. He kept saying to himself it was all in his mind although needed more convincing. It wasn’t in the mind, damn it. It was all around him.

  He couldn’t wait for daybreak. At the sign of first light, he jumped from his bed and ran outside the house. He saw the complete disorder in the house, chairs on top of the tables, the table resting against the front door, the kitchen tap left turned on, and there was a bad stench filling the living room. On top of that, there was the feeling of presence, evil and uncompromising.

  He remained outside, peeping through the windows, gazing at the unbelievable happenings of last night. He read about poltergeists, but none as violent as this. It made his skin crawl.

  As the sun rose from beyond the horizon to establish its supremacy over everything, his courage gradually increased. His logical mind kicked in again that it was in his mind. But what about the chairs and table? These were not in his mind, were they? He summoned whatever courage he could muster and went inside. To his absolute amazement, all chairs and tables were in their normal place, the kitchen tap was turned off, and no sign of it ever being turned on during the night. Inside his bedroom, where he felt his bed rocked violently, nothing was out of the normal.

  He sat on the edge of the bed, with his hands clutching his head. Was he going insane? All the fear of last night was for nothing, nothing physical at least. He lay on his bed almost crying. He came out on this project aiming to clear his mind, but look at him now, on the edge of madness.

  He stayed in his bedroom, slumped on the bed for a couple of hours, unable to sleep but superficially. He was feeling sorry for himself.

  Eventually, he dragged himself out of bed, as he remembered the delivery lorry arriving today. It should arrive around noon, the usual time it arrived.

  The Reckoning

  Sam sat in the living room, leaving its door open to the outside, waiting for the delivery lorry. He drank coffee and waited. He couldn’t eat or read. His mind was firmly fixated on the happenings of last night. He decided he wouldn’t tell the supply driver about this; he might think he was mad or a scaredy-cat.

  He waited, and it was already 3:00 pm and the driver had not arrived. Maybe he broke down on the way, but there was no way to tell. Sam decided to give him another half hour. If he didn’t arrive by then, he would drive to Rawa following the usual route. That man might be in need of help out there.

  The drive to Rawa took about two hours. Sam didn’t meet the supply lorry or saw any signs of recent tire marks. Either he missed him on the way, or the supply drive never left Rawa. He followed GPS directions to Rawa, swerving around outcrops and dunes. It was late afternoon when he saw the outline of Rawa from far. He headed straight to the home of the lorry driver, and indeed, the lorry was parked outside his house.

  Jad opened the door when Sam knocked.

  ‘Is all OK? I was expecting
you today. I thought you might have broken down on the way,’ said Sam, hiding his disappointment.

  ‘I’m sorry Sam. I couldn’t go,’ answered Jad.

  ‘I don’t understand. Why?’ asked Sam.

  ‘I’m too worried and kind-of scared,’ said Jad.

  ‘Scared? Scared of what?’ asked Sam, fearing the news had already arrived in Rawa.

  ‘It’s all over Rawa. The appearance of the jinnee,’ explained Jad.

  ‘A jinnee, is that it?’ asked Sam.

  ‘Yeh. I’m superstitious.’

  ‘What about me? Didn’t you think I would be out of food? Wasn’t that our agreement?’ asked Sam, irritably.

  ‘I was sure you would drive to Rawa when I didn’t show. And I was right,’ said Jad.

  Sam couldn’t say the words that jumped to his mind.

  ‘So, what’s the situation now?’ asked Sam.

  ‘I don’t know. We need to talk.’

  ‘OK, talk, Jad. You are scared.’

  ‘You might like to find another driver. There are a few who might agree,’ said Jad.

  ‘Look, I don’t have the time to look for another driver. Is it the money? I can offer you more,’ responded Sam.

  ‘It’s not the money, trust me.’

  ‘How can I convince you to resume the supply?’ asked Sam.

  ‘I won’t mind some extra money, but the real matter is the jinnee. It might follow me here, to my home. I have family and children. I don’t want to have anything to do with it,’ said Jad.

  ‘What did the university guys say?’ Sam wanted to know more.

  ‘Their encounter with a jinnee that nearly killed them. It also followed them.’

  ‘I can’t find another driver with all this silly talk in town. Think about it. I can offer you more money. I’ll come back tomorrow morning,’ responded Sam.

  ‘Fine, let me think about it. But do look for another drive. See you tomorrow,’ said Jad and closed the door.

  Sam drove to the old town in search of a hotel to stay the night. How stupid it had become. People were too scared to go to his house because there was a jinnee there! How could he explain to them that it was all in the mind? Or convince them it was a glitch in the simulation program? A jinnee as described in their religious belief was so convincing to them, and any other theoretical explanation would sound silly, uncorroborated.

  He found a modernized hotel that stood out like a sore thumb out of the shabby surroundings in the area. They had vacancies, and they served food, too. He paid and went to his room for a wash. It was a spacious room but lacked cleanliness. The sheets didn’t seem to have been changed, and the curtains looked grey out of neglect. The bathroom was alright, and he had a quick shower. He went downstairs to have something to eat.

  The dining room was small, sparsely furnished with small round tables and chairs that had seen better days. He ordered what the waiter suggested; there was no printed menu.

  The food was served, and Sam sat eating but his mind was away, thinking about a way out of this driver situation. Then a man, a total stranger, approached him.

  ‘Are you the man living out in the desert?’ the man asked after the customary greetings.

  ‘Yes,’ Sam answered. He was not in the mood for socialising.

  ‘Did you see the jinnee?’ asked the man.

  ‘No, and there is no jinnee. It’s gossip,’ answered Sam.

  ‘Well, it’s enough for people to fear the place. Are you sure you will continue to live there?’ asked the man.

  ‘Yes, absolutely. And I tell you, there is nothing out there,’ Sam answered irritably.

  ‘Look, I really care about your sanity. Such things could end up in a disaster. Let me suggest something to you if you are serious about living out there by yourself,’ said the man.

  Sam looked up from his food at the man standing there, tall, in his forties, with a friendly face.

  ‘I suggest going to Sheikh Hatem, the town clergy. He could sanitize the place for you. It is not an exorcism but religious cleansing. You would feel more comfortable. I had heard of a few stories where Sheikh Hatem did a wonderful job.’

  ‘Thank you. I shall think of your suggestion,’ answered Sam politely.

  A clergy to cleanse the place! Sam was bemused with the idea. He came out here armed with scientific knowledge about the Simulation Hypothesis, the theory of consciousness, spacetime postulates, and Quantum Mechanics, and now someone was suggesting old grandmothers’ remedy. How ironic.

  The following morning, after breakfast at the hotel, he drove to Jad’s house. He was there.

  ‘Jad, have you thought about it?’ asked Sam after the usual greetings.

  ‘I have. I’m sorry, I don’t want to risk it,’ Jad answered.

  Sam was expecting this response.

  ‘How about if we ask Sheikh Hatem to come out to cleanse the place?’ Sam responded, not believing he actually said this. But it might be the assurance Jad needed.

  Jad thought about this for a few moments.

  ‘I will give you my final answer after we meet with Sheikh Hatem. We can go together if it is agreeable to him,’ said Jad.

  ‘Sure, we can do this, this afternoon,’ said Sam.

  ‘No, let’s go now. It’s before the noon prayer, and is the best time,’ Jad suggested.

  ‘OK, let’s go,’ said Sam.

  Sheikh Hatem was based at the town’s main mosque. They entered the mosque, and Jad asked Sam to join him in a two-Rakat prayer in respect of the mosque. They did their prayers after the usual Wudu, the mandatory wash before prayer. Sam hadn’t prayed for a long time and was out of touch with the prayers’ verbal and physical sequences that followed strict rules. He looked at what Jad did and followed it.

  The Sheikh was there. Jad took a lead in the explanation. The Sheikh, a gentle person in his late thirties, listened without interrupting Jad.

  He thought about it for a minute or so, fingering his rosary, then looked at Sam.

  ‘Is this what you saw, too?’ asked Sheikh Hatem.

  ‘No, I didn’t see it. The two university guys told me the story. However, I visited their dig the following day, and there was nothing out there,’ responded Sam.

  ‘OK, I feel you are a non-believer in jinnees, right? It is mentioned in the Quran, you know,’ said the Sheikh.

  ‘I know. But I didn’t know jinnees could be this vile,’ answered Sam.

  ‘I can sense the evil in this jinnee. I feel it might be here watching over us right now,’ said the Sheikh.

  Jad cringed at the thought, as he looked around the mosque.

  ‘Don’t worry, Jad, jinnees can do nothing in a house of the lord.’

  ‘Can you rid my house of this jinnee, to make it safe?’ asked Sam.

  ‘With the help of the lord, I can.’ Answered the Sheikh.

  ‘Can you come out to the place? I can arrange transport there and back and cover all incurred expenses,’ said Sam.

  ‘There are no expenses or fees. Meet me tomorrow morning after the dawn prayer,’ said the Sheikh.

  With that, they said their farewell. Jad looked relieved after the Sheikh agreed to come along.

  ‘So, will you resume the deliveries after the cleansing?’ asked Sam.

  ‘Yeh, I might do, especially with the promised increase in pay,’ said Jad with a smile on his face. Sam smiled back, wondering whether it was the Sheikh’s cleaning or the extra money that convinced Jad. He still felt the idea of the jinnee was an outdated philosophy that belonged in mythology and old wife’s tales.

  Sam went back to the hotel, to extend his stay for one more day. Then he went out to look for the electrician who installed the solar panel. He wanted him to inspect them after what happened in the storm.

  Sam was up at 5:00 am the following morning and was at the mosque for the dawn prayer. Jad was already there.

  The Sheikh rode with Sam, and Jad followed in his lorry. The Sheikh was mostly quiet on the way, saying at the outset that he a
lready felt the presence and the enmity of that jinnee. Sam nodded his head out of politeness, not necessarily believing it. With religious matters, one either believed unquestionably or remained suspicions. Sam belonged in the latter category.

  About two hours later, they arrived. The Sheikh started reciting Surahs from the Quran as he entered the house. The house was eerily quiet, as though an already haunted house. Jad entered only after the Sheikh entered, feeling the Sheikh offered all the protection he needed. Nothing else could achieve that perceived level of confidence for him.

  Jad and the Sheikh sat on the sofa and Sam went preparing tea and coffee for his guests.

  ‘Don’t worry, I feel this jinnee. I know where she came from and what she’s after,’ said the Sheikh. Sam’s suspicious mind could not keep quiet.

  ‘Is it he, or she? You said she.’

  ‘Jinnees are like us, males and females. They marry and bring up children like us,’ said the Sheikh, looking at Sam in a rebuking manner.

  ‘What else do you see of the jinnee?’ asked Sam.

  ‘Be patient,’ snapped back the Sheikh.

  Jad sat, his eyes pinned at the Sheikh.

  The Sheikh went into a state of a trance, whispering, with eyes closed. The two sat quietly, drinking their coffee, and waited. The Sheikh started talking loudly with this invisible entity.

  ‘In the name of the lord, I ask you your name and your purpose,’ the Sheikh said. There was nothing to hear back, but the Sheikh was nodding his head as though in a kind of dialogue.

  ‘Why are you here?’ the Sheikh asked. After a short wait, he said,

  ‘I demand you in the name of the lord to go back and leave this house and the people in it alone. You are causing mischief and stress.’

  They waited.

  ‘I demand it and order you in the name of the lord to leave these premises right away,’ continued the Sheikh.

  Then the sound of a pigeon flapping its wings next to the window interrupted the silence. They flinched, as it sounded loud over the silence in the house. The Sheikh kept reciting from the Quran loudly, interrupted by repeats of his demands of the presumed jinnee to depart.