Violation

by Lolah Lace

  “Everybody loves pussy. It’s the fucking playoffs now. Just act like a decent husband for a fucking month or two. Go see your woman and stop driving them around where you can be photographed with them or associated with them.”

  “You don’t know a goddamn thing about being a husband or a father.”

  “Looks like you don’t know shit either.”

  “Fuck you.”

  “No fuck you!”

  “If you weren’t my people I would fuck you up right now.”

  “I am your people so chill out. Listen when I hit you with the truth bro.”

  “I hear you youngster. It’s all love.” He punched me hard in the chest, a bro-tap. “I have to go see Vanessa.”

  “No fucking way.” I stepped in front of him. “Fuck her and tend to your family. Stop embarrassing the team.”

  “You real tough today No-Hart.”

  “I’m tough every motherfucking day.”

  “Vanessa was hurt bad. I just cannot go see about her. I’ve been with her for two years. I care about her.”

  “There are reporters at your gate. There are cameras at the hospital. They are waiting for you to fuck up.”

  “Man, just cause I fuck around doesn’t mean I don’t care. I need to check on Vanessa.”

  “I know you care but you have to stay your ass right here with your wife and kids.”

  “With Serena’s evil ass. You heard Serena snapping and shit. If I close my eyes I might wake up with a knife in my neck.”

  “Sleep in a goddamn neck brace.”

  He laughed. “Okay, you go see her on my behalf.”

  “Vanessa?”

  “Yeah see how she’s doing. Do it for me. Tell her I will take care of her medical bills.”

  “I think your lawyer would advise against that. She might try to sue you. You were at fault.”

  “It was an accident. My lawyer is coming over. I think these fools are charging me with a DUI.”

  “Now that’s two.”

  “I didn’t ask you for commentary.”

  “Whatever, I’m going to the hospital.” I was lying. There was no way I was going to the hospital. That was a bad idea for me or anyone associated with the Cavaliers.

  I left Dee and passed his lawyer in the foyer. He was some metrosexual ass-hat that gave me a head nod. Serena let him in. She followed me out to my car. It was better for us to speak outside the house.

  “I know it’s hard but just be cool.”

  “I want to kill him.”

  “You can’t kill him. That would be bad business.” I joked.

  “Now I can’t even sneak away to see you.”

  “We’ll find a way.” I took her wrist just to feel her skin against mine.

  “I don’t want this marriage anymore. I don’t know if I can handle this. I’m tired.”

  “Wait and see what happens. You have to stick by him now but after this blows over you need to divorce him.”

  “You’re right.”

  “Call me later when you can talk.”

  “Okay, thanks for driving me to retrieve my so-called husband and everything else you do for me.”

  “I would do anything for you.” I wanted to tell her I loved her but it felt strange saying it right here right now.

  “The drama never stops with my asshole husband.”

  “It’s called life. If it were easy, everybody would be living it.”

  She frowned. “Everybody is living it.”

  “Yeah you’re right. I give her a quick peck on the forehead and hoped there wasn’t anyone around to notice it.”

  “I’m going inside so his lawyer can advise me on how to behave.” She rolled her eyes.

  “Okay, call me.”

  “Yeah.”

  She turned her back on me and walked up the path and to the few steps. I watched her until she vanished inside the house.

  When would I get a chance to be alone with her again? I drove out their gate and the news crews were out in abundance. This is a nightmare.

  CHAPTER 21

  Dee was not at the next game and of course we lost. The owners didn’t officially suspend him. The league had their hands tied because there was never a sobriety test administered. Serena stood by Dee like I knew she would. She was a basketball wife role model. She did the right things and said the right things. She came to all the games to show her support. She stood by her man. It was all an act. I knew better. She vented to me how she wanted to smash his face in on a few occasions. She made it clear she loved me and she was just playing her part.

  The story faded away sooner than anyone thought. The charges were all dropped. There was too much money involved. The Cavs, we were on our way to a championship and absolutely nothing or no one would stand in the way of that.

  I was just happy to get to see Serena again. Dee’s lawyers struck a deal with Vanessa. She got a three million dollar settlement and all was forgiven. Dee was ordered to stay away from her but he didn’t care. He still had Nia Pillar who happened to be filming a movie in town. It took no longer than a month to get this entire incident swept under the rug.

  Dee dodged a bullet. If Vanessa would have died this could have all gone in an entirely different direction.

  I got a frantic call from Serena on one of the days the Cavs didn’t have a game. She told me she was on her way to my place. I knew she was upset. I knew it had to do with my teammate.

  I anxiously waited for her in the den. That was where we did most of our talking, there and the bedroom. Her face was wet. Her eyes were puffy. She had been crying. I was immediately enraged.

  “Hey what’s wrong?” I embraced her and felt her sink into my chest. She didn’t answer me. “Why are you crying? Did he hurt you?” I pushed her away by her forearms so I could scan her body for bruises. “Serena talk to me.”

  “I just found out about another kid.”

  “Another kid?”

  “DeShawn has another kid outside our marriage. This one is nine years old. Then there’s the other kid that’s four and I don’t even know if the kid in the other country is true or not. I hate him.”

  It’s true. “It’s okay just calm down.”

  “My entire marriage is a fucking joke.”

  “Serena.”

  “What?”

  “If you’re just finding out about the nine-year-old, it’s already done.”

  “What the fuck Noah!” She was silent as she stared up at me. She walked away and took a seat on the couch. “You already knew about this kid.” Was she asking me or telling me? “Noah?” Shit, she was asking me.

  “Yes I knew about him. His name is Joaquin.”

  “And you didn’t feel this was something you might want to tell me at any time?”

  “I didn’t feel it was a good idea. He had that kid before I signed with the Cavs.”

  “But you knew I didn’t know about that one.”

  “I’m not really in a position to point fingers.”

  “Fuck that. You told me you loved me but you have some kind of sick loyalty to him.”

  “I’m sorry, maybe I do. I want you to be with me in spite of how many outside kids he has and in spite of how he hurt you.”

  “But this hurts me.”

  “Do you still love him?”

  “No of course not.”

  “I think you do.”

  “No, I’m so sure I don’t.”

  “I want you to stop loving him because it was your idea. Not because I pushed you in that direction by being a snitch.”

  “You’re logic is fucked up. I feel like you have all these secrets about me.”

  “I don’t. I just don’t want to hurt you. I love you. I’m never going to tell you things that I know would hurt you. That’s the last thing I want to do. I want to make you happy.”

  “Well secrets don’t make me happy.”

  “I never thought you would find out about her.”

  “Well I did. She wants more money, more fucking child support
or hush money or slut-a-mony. So you know her? You know who she is?”

  “I have never met her but I know the backstory.”

  “I fired her mother. This bitch cooks my meals and her daughter fucked my husband. She could have been poisoning me to get me out the way so her thot-ass daughter could have my husband. Deshawn got her pregnant when she was nineteen years old. I can’t even deal with this right now. He wastes his money on all these outside kids and women.”

  “It’s not his money. It’s your money too.”

  “What’s your point?”

  “You can leave him. There’s no prenup. Leave him.”

  “I will leave him. You know that.”

  “I’m not too sure.”

  She flashed her scowl at me. “I’m waiting until DJ is eighteen.”

  “You’re using your son as an excuse.” I thought of what Tenisha told me.

  “I’m not. You don’t have any kids. It’s terrible coming from a broken family. My father left my mother and I was miserable. It was traumatic for my sister and me. My brother is still messed up. He never got over the loss of our father. I’m not doing that to my son.”

  “Whatever you say Serena. My feelings don’t seem to matter. I guess I can just wait around for you to divorce him. For-Fucking-Ever.”

  “What do expect me to do?”

  “I don’t know maybe not be upset every single time his dick enters some random woman. Maybe it might hurt my feelings to see that you give a fuck where his dick takes up residency. I’m trying to be patient, but everyone has their fucking limits.”

  “Okay so I have kids with him so I give a damn.”

  “Oh so you have kids with him.”

  “Yes.”

  “And so does half of the Chicagoland area.”

  Her hand flew up in the air and slapped me clear across my cheek. I had great reflexes, but I wasn’t expecting it so I wasn’t even remotely prepared to duck or swerve.

  “You’re being an asshole.”

  Well yeah. “You’re being violent.”

  “This was a terrible idea.”

  “What, you crying to me about your husband’s outside kids or your outburst?”

  “Why are you being such an asshole? Fuck it. I don’t care.” Serena took a step backward. She grabbed her purse off the couch and was headed for the door.

  I paused knowing it wouldn’t take me many steps to catch up to her. It only took three and I was on her back. I wrenched her up at her waist with just one of my arms. I swept her right off her feet.

  “Noah put me down.”

  I disregarded her words.

  “Noahhhhh!!!”

  I scooped her legs up and in my other arm and carried her up the stairs.

  “Noah, stop! Put me down!”

  “Uh no.” I had no idea what my intentions were but I wasn’t going to let her get the last word. I wasn’t going to let her run out on me. I have feelings.

  I made it to my bedroom. I tossed her body across my bed along with her purse. She bounced and just glared up at me with malice in her eyes.

  “What? What are you going to do? Are you going to force me to stay here?”

  “Maybe. I haven’t made up my mind yet.”

  “You are so dramatic.”

  “You are so confused.”

  “What am I confused about Noah?”

  “Do you love him or me? You have to pick one of us. I need to know.”

  “I told you I have kids with him.”

  “I know that. Are you still in love with him?”

  “No, you know I’m not.

  “Do you still fuck him?” I asked the question.

  “What?”

  “Do you still open your legs and let him inside your fucking vagina?”

  “No, you know I don’t.”

  “I thought I knew. But now I don’t know what I know or knew. I don’t know shit.”

  “Sit down. My neck hurts looking up at you.”

  I placed my hands at my waist. I thought about rebelling against her request but I was tired of being a jerk. I took a seat on the bed.

  “Noah I love you. I’m in love with you.”

  “It’s so hard to see that. You have been acting so strange lately. You never cry and you’re moody. Since when do you give a shit about him?”

  “I’m not single like you. When I think about a divorce and lawyers, assets, alimony, child support, legal fees and all that stuff I get an instant headache.”

  “Fine, I give up.” I fell back on the bed. Fighting with Serena was exhausting. She had an excuse for keeping me on the side. Is this how all Dee’s extra women feel?

  Alone.

  Desperate.

  Jealous.

  Bitter.

  Unloved.

  Fucking Stupid.

  I have turned into a lovesick bitch. No-Hart the beast has officially left the building. Hart-Less the monster is a raging joke.

  “Noah.”

  “What?”

  “I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

  “You always get what you want.”

  Serena straddled me. She went right for my belt buckle, button and zipper. I guess sex is the way she will solve all of our disagreements. She likes being chased. I’m not tired of running after her. I’m not tired of looking Dee in the eyes on the court. I like who I am with her but I hate who I have become. If that is a logical statement, who knows.

  She rubbed my beard with her fingers as she peered down into my eyes.

  “Noah don’t act like this. We only have a little time to be together. Can they be fun times?” She bent to place her lips on mine. I couldn’t resist her kisses. “Hey sexy when are you going to shave this beard?”

  “I thought you liked the beard.”

  “I do but--”

  “But what?”

  “My hoo-hah was irritated when you went down on me. The friction felt good at the time but the next day I was red and raw.”

  “I have no sympathy for you. My dick hurts every time I see you in the lower level cheering for him.”

  “I cheer for you too. I go home with you.”

  “You don’t spend the night.”

  “Can I stay tonight?”

  “You can move in.”

  “One day I will.”

  “You like to tease me.”

  Serena rubbed her fingertips through my beard. Her nails scratched my skin and I felt like a puppy getting love from its master. I loved when she did that. “You have a really nice face.”

  “I do?”

  “Did you know that your left ear is bigger than your right ear?”

  “Yes, I do know that.” I chuckled. She was the only woman that ever mentioned my abnormal ears. “Most people are distracted by my clear blue eyes and my mischievous smile to notice my Dumbo ears.”

  “And your curly White man’s Afro.”

  “You want me to cut my hair too?”

  “No, I love to touch it. You never cut it during the playoffs. It’s cute how you’re not perfect. But you’re so damn handsome.”

  “I am?”

  “Everybody says it. Don’t be modest.”

  “I don’t care about everybody. I care that you think I’m handsome in spite of my one oversized ear.”

  “Well both of your ears are big but the one is like super-sized.”

  “Cute.”

  “I think it’s pretty cute.”

  “You’re one to talk. Your breasts are getting huge and your ass is--” I stopped myself before the words came out. She gained weight and I didn’t care but I noticed.

  Serena climbed off of me and I knew I had said the wrong thing. What the fuck was I thinking? I searched my brain for an apology that was sensitive and sincere. I didn’t even mean anything negative so I was still trying to craft the right words.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  “What?”

  “I’m pregnant.”

  My mind flashed to her having sex with him and my stomach twisted in kn
ots. Who is the father? “Have you had sex with Deshawn?”

  “I don’t know how to answer that.”

  “Truthfully?”

  “It’s not his baby.”

  “How do you know? You didn’t answer my question.”

  “I haven’t had sex with him since you and I started seeing each other. I did oral just so he would leave me alone. It was one time.”

  Oral sex? That felt just as terrible to hear. “Are you fucking kidding me? You sucked his dick?”

  “It was one time. I didn’t want him inside me. I did it so he would leave me alone.” She looked repulsed when she said it but that didn’t make me feel better about it.

  “I never cheated on you.”

  “I didn’t want Deshawn anywhere near me. It was only that one time. It was when you and I were broken up. Noah.”

  “What?”

  “Please look at me. I’m sorry.”

  My face found hers as I tried to believe her words and wipe away the hurt that they had caused me. I was placing blame when I put myself in this situation.

  “This is crazy. I’m hurt you blew your own husband.”

  “I’m sorry. I just wanted to tell the truth.”

  “One time?” I didn’t have a choice but to believe her.

  “It was once before Christmas when we were broken up.”

  “So you’re pregnant.”

  “Yes.”

  “And I’m supposed to believe I’m the father.”

  “Deshawn had a vasectomy three years ago after the one woman had his baby. So you can believe whatever you want.”

  “Really, a vasectomy? He never mentioned it.”

  “It was his attempt at saving our marriage. But what good did it do. He had the nine-year-old I never knew about.”

  “I don’t know what you want from me. I don’t know what we’re doing here. I love you and I’m tired of being on the sidelines. I’m a starter.”

  “I don’t have all the answers. It’s not like I planned to get pregnant.”

  “How far along are you?”

  “Four and a half months. I think conception happened New Year’s Eve.”

  “So were you going to tell me about the baby?”

  “Eventually, I didn’t plan for this. I didn’t have a plan.”

  “Were you going to have an abortion?”