Playing With Trouble (Desire Bay)

by Joya Ryan

  She shook her head. She’d been too scared to pick up the phone again, and so she’d just run out the door and let the machine handle it.

  Some owner she was turning out to be.

  “I’ll take care of all of this in the morning,” Jake said. “Thank you for letting me know.”

  Jake’s calm voice only made her feel more like a loser. She was messing up and he was being understanding? She was on the brink of losing it, because she didn’t know what she was doing. And she had to be honest with Jake.

  “Look,” she said. “I’m worried I’m hurting the company. Maybe . . . maybe you’re right and we need to figure out how to make this work, because I don’t want to lose business.”

  “You did a great job with the shipment last week.”

  “It’s more than that. You know how to run things smoothly. People trust you.”

  “They’ll trust you, too; just give it time.”

  “We don’t have time, and you know it. I just . . .” She glanced at the flowers on the table again. “I don’t want to give this up. But maybe it’s what’s best.”

  Jake shook his head and looked like he was in physical pain. “Just hold out. You haven’t heard from Cal yet.”

  “He’s not going to hire me. I’m not as qualified, and Hannah told me Lincoln City’s prices are better.”

  “You don’t know that. You’re good at this, Laura.” He was silent for a long moment, and it looked like he was waging a battle with himself. Finally, he said, “Just wait to hear from Cal.”

  “If I don’t get that contract, the flower shop can’t sustain itself. The month will be in the red. You’re right. The warehouse and shop are separate.”

  Something in her chest felt like it was breaking. But why? She was trying, but failing. And she felt like a loser. She would have to take the job in California and leave.

  “You’re Walt’s and your mother’s daughter,” Jacob said, stepping closer until she could feel the heat radiating from his skin. His mere presence was warm and comforting. “You’re a real Baughman. No one can take that from you.”

  The truth hit her just then.

  “I thought this whole thing would make me feel closer to her. Help me find my place, my home.”

  “Your mom would have wanted you to be happy. If you’re happy running the flower shop and not the warehouse, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

  “It’s a mess. And the flower shop can’t support itself. I can’t take from the warehouse without jeopardizing the profit.”

  And the truth was there in front of her. Jacob would do a better job running the warehouse than she would. And he’d worked hard for that.

  But Jake didn’t look overly elated about it, either. It was like on some silent level they were both grieving loss. The loss of her dream. The loss of what the business once was. The loss of the past. Because moving into this new endeavor into the future was scary and . . .

  Lonely.

  Somewhere along the way, she’d come to count on Jake. Even when she was a pain, unsure, frustrated, she was never alone in this. From the day she’d gotten there, he’d been, quite literally, within screaming distance. And he made her feel like she wasn’t alone. He understood. Probably understood Walt far better than she ever could.

  “I hate the look on your face,” he said softly.

  “What look?”

  “Like you’re hurting.”

  She was. So much. And she should tell herself to woman up and be a strong businesswoman. But just then, all she felt was loss. Loss and loneliness.

  “Can you make it go away?” she asked him.

  He stood close and cupped her face in both hands. “I’ll try my damnedest,” he said and kissed her. Soft but consuming, and she lost herself in him. Needing him.

  Jake didn’t know exactly what he felt, but he was pretty sure whatever it was, Laura was feeling it with him. Uncertainty, guilt, loss. He just wanted everything to work. And somehow he felt like the walls were closing in and the only safety net he had was her.

  She kissed him like she understood. Like there was no one else she’d rather be with. At least, that’s what Jake told himself. Because maybe if she really knew what he was capable of, she wouldn’t want to be with him.

  He cupped her face and deepened the kiss. Not fast, but direct. He couldn’t tell her what an asshole he really was. That he’d made the deal with Cal. All he could do was wait. Wait and love her in the meantime.

  But the thought of her leaving and the thought of her hating him were too much to bear.

  She wrapped her arms around him and stood up on her toes as if to get closer to him. So he picked her up and she instantly wrapped her legs around his waist. He walked them to the couch and sat down, her sweet little body still clinging to him.

  With her in his lap, he leaned back to break the kiss and look at her face.

  “Tell me about your mom?” he asked. There was so much behind her eyes. So much she’d almost said a few times, and Jake had to know what had her wheels spinning like they had been.

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say what you love. What you miss. Anything. You want me to make the pain go away, baby?” he asked and trailed his finger along her lower lip. She nodded. “Then I need to know what bothers you.”

  She took a deep breath, and with the tip of her nose brushing against his, she kept her eyes on his chest and drew a little circle over his heart.

  “I loved my mother, but I’m worried I was doomed to fail her. That I’m doomed to always make the wrong decision. I chased the wrong choice, always, and I can’t take it back. I tried to forget her and this place because I didn’t want happy memories. They hurt. And now it’s all I want, and I’m messing everything up.”

  Jake wanted to tell her otherwise. To tell her that of course her mother loved her and would be proud. That her father was crazy about her and was proud, too. But he let her continue.

  “After my mom died, I wasn’t the same. Neither was my dad. We were both like a shell. And for a little while, he treated me like the sight of me upset him. Reminded him that she was gone.” She shrugged. “I tried to do everything right, but as the days passed, he got more distant. Like he couldn’t stand the sight of me.”

  Jake closed his eyes and ran his fingers through her hair and touched her forehead with his. On more than one occasion, Walt had mentioned how much Laura looked like her mother. Worse yet, she acts just like her, too. Always looking for something beyond this place, he’d say.

  “He loves you,” Jake said. “I just don’t think he knew how to tell you that back then. Or knew how to treat you. He couldn’t separate you from your mother. That’s on him, not on you.”

  It was the first time Walt wasn’t the perfect hero in his mind. He was a man. One who made mistakes. One who was mortal. Jake loved and respected him, but Laura was amazing on her own.

  “I just want to make them both proud,” Laura said. “I’m glad my dad is happy. He let go and seems to be doing well. I just feel like I’ll never find my footing.”

  Jake frowned. He didn’t want to push too hard, but he continued. “You could have come back before now.”

  She nodded. “I could have. But I was stuck trying to be someone I’m not. Someone else. Someone trying to forget rather than live. I felt like nothing. I had to ask for everything, because nothing was mine.”

  Jake’s eyes went wide and he made her look him in the face. “Your ex hurt you?” Jake knew she was divorced, but she never mentioned it and he’d never pushed.

  She shook her head. “No. I hurt myself. I chose the wrong man. The wrong path.”

  Oh God, Jake wanted to hug her close and never let go. She was blaming herself, a habit she seemed to have had for a while.

  Before he could ask more, she leaned in and gently kissed his lips. “Please,” she breathed against his mouth. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Please just love me instead.”

  Her soft plea made Jake’s ins
tincts kick in. He would do whatever she wanted. Whatever she needed. There was so much going through his head that he didn’t know how to begin to deal with, but he’d figure it out later. For now, Laura needed him. And he would make this better. Somehow.

  He kissed along her throat as her hands worked his shirt off and started exploring his bare chest. Damn, he loved her hands on him. Somehow, they managed to take each other’s clothes off without having to take their mouths away.

  Once they were both naked, Jake grabbed a condom from his discarded jeans and put it on. Laura straddled him once more, and the feel of her skin around his was a heady drug. She was all warmth and sweetness. Soft and delicate.

  “Jacob,” she whispered as she slowly sank down on him, impaling herself on his cock.

  He gritted his teeth at the tight heat instantly surrounding him and hugged her closer. She moved slowly, up and down, circling her hips in his lap as she tested out every inch of him.

  “You feel so good,” she said, her hair falling around their faces like a curtain. “How can you feel this good every time?”

  He ran his hands up her smooth back and gave a little flex of his hips. She gasped and ground against him, meeting his every move.

  “I don’t know, baby,” he said. “Because you’ve felt way too right from moment one.”

  She kept herself deep on him, which he wasn’t complaining about. She stirred on him; he could feel her clit rubbing against his pelvis as she did. She was getting hotter and higher real quick. He sensed it in her skin, in her movements.

  Her eyes were glossy as she looked at him. She was drenched, only getting wetter with her orgasm right on the brink. He knew, because he recognized now how her little pussy squeezed him when she was close.

  He flexed his hips over and over. Taking that last inch into her and watching her lips part on a silent inhale. He held her tight as she fell over the edge and pleasure wrapped her up. Pleasure he gave her. Pleasure he caught her in.

  Tremors shot from his stomach to his cock, and he clung to her as his own release flooded his entire body . . . and heart. Because he was certain between the pleasure, pain, love, and loss, it wasn’t beating right anymore.

  But when Laura’s arms wrapped around him and pulled him close, hugging him like she’d never held anyone like this before, he didn’t care about his damn heart.

  Because the woman currently wrapped around him already had it in her hands.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jake heard a ringing that made one eye peel open. Phone. Not his. Laura’s.

  He popped open his other eye to see her scrambling from his bed and reaching for her cell phone.

  “Hello, yes, this is she,” she said, pacing in nothing but his bedsheet. Damn, she was gorgeous, her blonde hair haloing around her while her bare feet hit the hardwood floor. “Yes? Oh my gosh, that’s great! Thank you, Cal!”

  Jake knew the news she’d just gotten, but Laura hung up the phone and jumped into bed, hugging him.

  “I got the job for Cal!”

  She hugged and kissed him, and everything was in motion for her to stay and be happy.

  Jake should have felt relieved; instead, he felt sick. As if he had a permanent headache that wouldn’t go away. This should be a good thing, especially after last night, when Laura had opened up to him and finally everything made sense.

  And now, the solution of getting her the deal should be welcome . . .

  But Jake’s head just kept pounding.

  She wanted something that was hers. Had been trying so hard for that one piece of her mother and to find herself apart from her ex.

  “I’m so happy for you, baby,” he said and kissed her. “I, ah, I have to go into the warehouse today to take care of a few things.” Things like adjusting the schedule, figuring out how to make everything cohesive, and likely having to drop some contracts to make Cal’s job work.

  Laura frowned. “You okay?”

  “Yeah,” he said and kissed her. “The business is going to be great. The shop and the warehouse included.”

  She smiled. “We should go to dinner and celebrate,” she said.

  “Why, Miss Baughman, are you asking me on a date?”

  She kissed him. Soft and sweet, and Jake’s heart was in trouble. “Yes,” she said. “I am.”

  “Then I’d be a fool to pass it up.”

  “Tomorrow night?” she asked.

  Jake nodded. “Tomorrow night it is.”

  “Are you going to stare at your muffin or eat it?” Erica asked, sitting on the opposite side of Jake’s kitchen table. The twins were playing Wii in the living room, giving Jake no excuse not to sit there while his sister hammered him with a scrutinizing glare.

  “I’m just feeling off,” he said. He’d spent all the previous day at the warehouse and realized he had to hire his replacement or lose three contracts, because Mannie couldn’t handle the load all by himself and Laura had the flowers and design project to think about. Now he was home, and he should be happy that Laura was staying for good. He just wanted the business to be okay. To make Walt happy.

  “Love is never easy,” Erica said and took a bite of her own blueberry muffin.

  Yeah, he could agree. He did love Walt and the business.

  “It’s hard when the business you’re trying to do right by is in his name, though.”

  “I’m talking about the other Baughman, idiot,” Erica said.

  Jake frowned. “Laura? No, I don’t love her.” Sure, he cared about her. Liked her. A lot. But love?

  “You sure? Because you’re acting like you do.”

  “How would you know?” Jake asked.

  “For starters, you’re keeping dead flowers on your kitchen table.”

  “She worked hard on that centerpiece, and it’s not dead.”

  “It’s fermenting.”

  Jake shook his head. Whatever, he didn’t care. He liked it. Dead or not.

  “And,” Erica went on, “worrying about her feelings over your own. Trying to keep her close. Feeling guilty because you lied to her.”

  “I didn’t lie,” he protested.

  “You sure as hell haven’t been a hundred percent honest.”

  “I’m trying to do right by Walt. By the business. By her. By everyone,” Jake told her. And he had no idea how he was holding it together when he felt like such a failure.

  “You’re more worried about a man who is retiring and a place made of sticks and stones than the living, breathing woman standing in front of you,” Erica said.

  “I can’t make everyone happy,” Jake mumbled. The solution he’d come up with for Laura getting the deal she wanted and that the shop needed so badly was the best he could do.

  “It’s not about making everyone happy. It’s about doing what you know is right and facing the consequences of that. You have to risk what you love to gain anything in this life.”

  Jake looked up and met his sister’s eyes. Holy shit . . . he did love Laura. Somehow he’d come to care about her feelings over everything else, and that’s why he was sick about all this. He’d risked the business, the steady income, the secure and slow progress. All so she could thrive and have her shot. And he had to tell her the truth. All of it.

  “I hear the floral shop is really taking off,” Hannah said, wiping down the bar and getting Laura a mimosa.

  She wouldn’t call it “really taking off,” but she assured Hannah, “I have a few customers and some regular business now, so it’s looking promising. And I have that deal with Cal, so I can stay.”

  “That’s terrific!” Hannah said. “So no California?”

  Laura shook her head. “I haven’t called to decline yet, but I will. Now that I have the Cal job, the shop will have its own money and be all right.”

  “Buzz around here has been all gossip about the future of Baughman Home Goods, and I’m just glad you and Jake worked it out. It must have been hard with the different deals Jake was trying to make.”

  “What do you m
ean?” Laura asked. “What deals?”

  “You know, how Jake basically threw himself in to sweeten the landscape deal Cal offered you.”

  “Jake did what?”

  “Cal was in here yesterday talking about how he got the entire Baughman team on his job. Said Jake saved the deal.”

  So Cal had only hired her because Jake had made him? Said he’d be there, too? She hadn’t earned anything. Hadn’t done this herself. Hadn’t since day one. It was all Jake.

  She was pretty sure a cubic yard of bark would have hurt less than that truth that just hit her. Jake had never had faith in her in the first place. He’d never wanted her to run the shop, much less the warehouse, and he’d had to bribe his friend to hire her.

  Laura tried to swallow past the lump in her throat and remain casual.

  “Yeah . . . it’s been an interesting couple of weeks,” she said.

  Hannah nodded. “But hey, it all worked out. You both got a piece of what you wanted. You have the shop, Jake the warehouse, and everything will be great, right?”

  Laura had to bite back a surge of pain racing through her chest. Apparently everyone knew more than she did about her own company, and the actions and deals of Jacob Lock.

  “So, how long was Cal wanting Jake to work for him?”

  Hannah shrugged. “Awhile. It was all he and Cal talked about when they came in here over a beer. Baughman Home Goods was supposed to supply the lumber for some log cabin subdivision thing Cal is building across town. And he wanted Jake on the team for a few months or something.”

  Laura thought of Jake’s words from the past and realized one thing quickly. “Lumber for a subdivision sounds like a big, lucrative deal,” she said. Something Jake wouldn’t sacrifice his precious stability for.

  “Yeah,” Hannah agreed and dried out a martini glass with a towel.

  Hannah didn’t say anything else, but it was clear. It all made sense. Jake had made Cal hire her. Now she had a pity shop of flowers with no big revenue source she’d earned, and she knew the whole time Jake had been backing her up. She was never on her own. Never earned it. What was worse, Jake had known all of this the whole time, and he’d lied to her face.