Bellamy's Redemption

by Holly Tierney-Bedord

  “It was my mom’s birthday last month and I couldn’t call her,” said Klassie.

  “Okay,” I said.

  “Doesn’t your family understand that you’re on a mission to find love?” asked Deb.

  “Yeah. But still, I’d like to call home for a minute or two.”

  “I’m starting to think you’re not strong enough for this competition,” said Alanna.

  “I’m strong enough,” I said.

  “Just hold on a little longer,” said Deb. “If things go well with Bellamy’s family, you’ll get to be back with your family soon, during part two of the Meet-the-Fam dates when he meets yours.”

  “And if things go badly, you’ll still be home with your family soon,” said Alanna, smiling benevolently.

  I ignored her intentions. “You’re all right,” I said. “I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time. I’m overreacting. I think I’ll just take a little nap now.”

  I closed my eyes and pulled my eye pillow down into place to signify that we were done talking, but Alanna pushed it back up. “I think there’s something you’re not telling us,” she said.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.

  “I have Debbie and Klassie all figured out,” she said; neither seemed the least annoyed by this statement, “but I’m not so sure about you.”

  “There’s nothing to figure out,” I said.

  “Really? How do you really feel about Bellamy?”

  “How do you really feel about Bellamy? Better than you felt when you told him that you didn’t want to marry him, but that you did want to marry Antonio?” I asked her back.

  “I’ve explained that I was confused, and that now I’ve realized I made the wrong decision picking Antonio. I have done plenty of explaining about that. But we’re talking about you now.”

  “Not if I don’t feel like talking,” I said, yanking my eye pillow back into place.

  “Explain to me why you have a ‘princess’ eye pillow that looks like it’s from the dollar store, but your dresses are all super expensive,” she said, pushing the eye pillow back up on top of my head.

  “Hmm,” said Deb, nodding.

  “Easy with the eye pillow. And my hair! This eye pillow was in my Christmas stocking. Are you saying my parents have bad taste? Because that would be very rude of you.”

  “Explain why you’re so quiet,” said Alanna.

  “I’m talking right now,” I said.

  “You do kind of keep to yourself,” Klassie said accusingly.

  “You’re all being ridiculous,” I said.

  “Explain why your surprise visitor was so gross,” Alanna continued. “It’s like, they totally let you off the hook. Did you really even go out with that guy? Did you even know him? Or was he some fake guy they brought in so they could try to frame me and Vanessa, and make it look like you were also getting tested?”

  “He was real,” I said. “Though I have no idea why they chose him. I seriously have way better ex-boyfriends than that. Honestly, I’m still embarrassed about it. If anything, you should take that whole mess as a sign of my authenticity.”

  Alanna picked at small zit on her chin and glared at me. “I’m just… ugh,” she said, shaking her head.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Never mind,” she said, moving on to pick at her fingernails.

  “Fine,” I said. I pulled my eye pillow back down.

  “Don’t hide behind your dumb eye pillow when we’re in the middle of a conversation.”

  I took it off and stuffed it into my pocket.

  “Thank you,” she said. “So Emma, the thing is, I get this impression like he likes you, and I have no idea why. I just, like, don’t. It’s very, very annoying. Very.”

  “You get the impression he likes all of us, right?” asked Deb.

  “Would you mind if I took that vacant seat?” I asked the flight attendant who happened to be passing by. I pointed towards the back of the plane where I’d noticed a couple of empty seats earlier when I was coming back from the restroom.

  “Sure, you can take it,” she said.

  “Thank you,” I said. I got up to leave, but Alanna was still not finished.

  “You may have some of the answers, but there are still many, many questions. I’m watching you,” she said, pointing at her own eyes with two fingers, then pointing at my own.

  “Bellamy likes all of us, right? Don’t you think he’s still into all of us a lot?” I heard Deb asking again as I found my way as far away from them as the plane would allow. A producer got up and wordlessly followed me, taking a seat behind me. I sighed, put on my eye pillow, and finally got some sleep.

  Chapter 28

  “His family is going to hate her,” Alanna said. She was talking about Klassie, of course, who had just left our hotel room. She would be gone all day, and possibly overnight if Bellamy’s family invited her to stay.

  I knew from previous seasons that spending the night at a family’s home was very rare and equally significant. It hadn’t happened as far as I could recall since 2009 when Parsley Devenshire had been invited to stay with the family of George Haberfield after a particularly successful Meet-the-Fam date. Parsley and George are now married with triplets who are all named after herbs. They have their own Hamptons-themed decorating company and they’ve started a charity for people who are struggling financially to keep their yachts. It’s called Staying Afloat. I read about it in Town & Country magazine. I should hate them, but they actually seem like wonderful people.

  “Oh, I don’t know about that. If they’re anything like Bellamy, they’re too sweet to hate anyone,” said Deb.

  “I’m with you, Deb,” I said. I angled my chair so I wouldn’t have to look at Alanna.

  “At least she left her roller skates here. I really thought she was going to wear them to his family’s house. God, that would have been hilarious. I can’t believe the producers didn’t try to sway her into doing that. Can you believe those stupid things? They’ve been all over the world and here they are. I can’t believe they made it through customs. Have either of you smelled them? They stink. I’d like to burn them,” said Alanna. She pinched her nose and cackled.

  Despite my disdain, I was secretly mesmerized by her multi-faceted personality. I was both relieved and disappointed that the perfect Alanna I’d seen on television was an unattainable character, not a person. Maybe the editors of the show would pull a one eighty, this time revealing all her snarky, whining, zit-picking glory. It was all right there if they chose to show it. I doubted it would happen though, since they’d practically created the Alanna Rutherford brand the first time around, and to expose her as an ordinary (though gorgeous) human would surely lessen audiences’ interest in her and the potential for more shows starring her in the future.

  “I’ll give them a little sprinkle of perfume,” said Deb. She spritzed the roller skates with a few squirts of the lavender room spray from the wicker basket of free goodies on the coffee table.

  “She’s totally going to know we did that. They’ll probably smell even worse now. I love it,” Alanna said, laughing. She rummaged through the basket for a moment, unwrapped a mint and ate it, and then suddenly began to pout. “Another day of sitting around. I wonder if anything interesting will happen today.”

  “I’ll bet something interesting is going to happen,” I said. I was pretty sure that Vanessa would be turning up shortly.

  “I doubt it,” said Deb. “I’m going to tell you two a story while we’re waiting. You can listen too, Bob,” she added for the sake of our favorite cameraman.

  “Cool,” said Bob. His eyes lit up and he smiled. I’d noticed that he’d stopped wearing his wedding ring when we were in Europe and that he still didn’t have it on. I wasn’t sure what his deal was, but I suddenly sensed that he was very interested in Deb.

  “Okay, so as you guys know, I was born in a barn. Like Jesus,” she said.

  “We didn’t know that you were born in a barn,�
�� I said.

  “Oh. Okay, so I was. You can imagine that I got a lot of harassment over that my whole life. You know, people asking ‘Were you born in a barn’ if I, say, left my school desk a little messy, and I’d have to say that I was, and all of that. But it wasn’t all bad. I’ve never had allergies, and I think it’s because I was exposed to all that hay as a baby…”

  Just then the door opened and Catalina Cartwright barged in. “Hi girls. We’ve got a special announcement and we’re going to film it in fifteen minutes. Change your clothes and put on some makeup if you’d like to. See you in a few,” she said, and with that she was right back out the door.

  “What was that all about?” asked Alanna. When Deb and I looked at her blankly without offering an explanation, she turned to Bob and snapped at him: “Bob, fill us in. I hate all these surprises. What’s up with us getting jerked around this season? Is this just how it is being on the other side? If so, I want my own show again.”

  Deb froze. “What did you say, Alanna?”

  “I said I’m sick of all these surprises. I feel like we’re pawns who are getting pushed around a chessboard. Giving us fifteen minutes to get ready for important airtime? Really? I didn’t agree to that.”

  “No. You said you want your own show again. If you were truly here for Bellamy, you wouldn’t be thinking like that.” Deb began to cry. Not just a couple of tears, but angry sobs. “How dare you stay here if you don’t love him? How dare you? I do love him and to me this isn’t a joke, and it’s not just a show.”

  “Calm down. I’m here for Bellamy. Really,” said Alanna.

  “You are not,” said Deb.

  “Debbie, relax. You’re getting all worked up.”

  “Quit calling me Debbie. I’m telling Catalina what you just said, and as soon as I see Bellamy, I’m telling him too,” said Deb. She left the room in search of Catalina.

  “Baby spaz,” said Alanna to the closed door. She didn’t look very concerned about Deb’s accusations or the fact that she was being tattled on. She tucked her shirt into the jeans she was wearing and said to Bob, pointedly ignoring me, “Do I look like a dumbass? Just watch. In six months everyone will wear their shirts tucked in. I’m ready for filming. Seriously. I’m ready.” She turned to me then: “Why don’t you put some spackle on your face, Emma, instead of staring at me. I’m not kidding. You’re wasting precious time. Scurry off to your stained up little makeup bag and give your stubby little eyelashes another coat of Frosty Girl. Or no, wait, it was even worse, wasn’t it. Big Eyes, right? Can’t you buy that brand at grocery stores? You fraud.”

  “Were you looking in my makeup bag?” I stammered. I felt so exposed.

  “Maybe.”

  “You had no right to look in there.”

  “There’s nothing else to do around here. I didn’t even know they made those brands anymore. Big Eyes mascara? I mean, how quaint. Even your Q-tips look generic.”

  “All the models use Big Eyes,” I said.

  “Is that what they tell you in your ladies’ magazines? How to lose ten pounds and make some meatloaf and don’t forget to wear your Big Eyes.”

  My anger was bubbling over. “Alanna, you’re horrible,” I told her, practically spitting. “It’s going to come out for the world to see. I’ll tell Bellamy what you’re really like. There’s no way he’s going to end up with you.”

  She just laughed and said, “We’ll see about that.”

  I left the room and changed into a dress, my hands shaking so badly I could barely zip it. I could hear Alanna out in the living room, carrying on to Bob about her fabulousness: “The producers of this show think they made me, but it has always been like this for me. When I was a baby, I was cuter than all the other babies. I’m not even exaggerating! There are pictures to prove it. I never got to know what it was like to be normal because I was too bright and adorable. And then, I became cool when I was around seven. Maybe six, actually. I just had, like, an inherent understanding of what music to listen to, what to say, stuff like that. Even when I was twelve years old my friends’ moms wanted to be me. I felt sorry for them.”

  As I touched up my eyelashes with a substance that was apparently one step above tar, I grew angrier and angrier. So angry that I felt the tears welling up. And then it happened; I began to cry. I decided that if I were Bob, I’d make an exposé about the real Alanna Rutherford. I’d show the world what a horrible bitch she really was. Even if it meant losing my job. That’s what I would do. If I were Bob.

  But, I wasn’t Bob. And I doubted Bob would do anything other than what he was told to do. So this meant I had to do it myself.

  I snapped my cheap lipstick’s cap back into place. Why hadn’t I ever realized that wearing something called Citygirlz Razzberry Twizt is really, really sad? I decided that I must steal Bob’s tapes. Or were they disks? Or some cloud hovering above us? Where was all this footage being stored? What exactly should I steal? Already my momentum was fading.

  “I’m going to ruin you, Alanna Rutherford,” I hissed, trying to reinvigorate myself. I zipped up my cheap, ugly makeup bag. “What a stupid makeup bag. How could I be dumb enough to own such a thing? The details. It’s always about the details. It’s like designing someone’s house. It’s like… everything.” I tried to stop crying, knowing we were going to be filmed any moment. “Maybe if you had fancier makeup it wouldn’t smear,” I told my reflection.

  “You ready, Emma?” asked Bob, knocking on the bathroom door. “They’re ready for the next segment.”

  “Just a minute,” I called, taking my time blotting at my face with a tissue. I blew my nose and dabbed my face some more until the redness had subsided, and went out to join Alanna and Deb. They had both already left the room. Bob was waiting for me.

  “Are you doing okay?” he asked me.

  “I guess so. I’m sorry I’m late,” I said.

  “It’s alright,” he said. “They’re already outside. We’re filming out there since the scenery is so nice. We’d better hurry.”

  “Bob, where’s your wedding ring?” I heard myself ask as we were on our way.

  “Ugh…” He looked shocked. “I can’t believe you noticed it’s gone.”

  “If you like Deb, and if she and Bellamy don’t end up together, I think you should ask her out. She’s pretty nice,” I told him.

  He nodded. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

  “Thank you for joining us, Emma,” called Catalina Cartwright as Bob and I neared a small clearing beside the hotel. The backdrop was gorgeous mountains. Alanna stood waiting with her arms crossed and her shirt still tucked in to too-high jeans. She looked like a kid at camp. It really wasn’t a good look. Deb stood as far away from her as possible, scowling and sniffing back tears.

  Catalina fluffed her short tulle skirt and straightened her leather sports bra. “Are you girls trying to be the worst cast ever? Honestly, Alanna, your outfit is not stylish at all.”

  “Says the woman wearing a tutu. By the way, we’re women, not girls,” said Alanna.

  “And the rest of you,” said Catalina, “quit crying. I’m sorry Alanna is a mean girl, but it’s time to film now.”

  “I’m fine,” sniffed Deb.

  We took our places and Catalina’s tired scowl was replaced by a camera-worthy look of someone about to share an exciting secret. “Thank you for joining me, ladies,” she began, facing us with a smile. Anyone who didn’t know better would assume she liked and respected us. “While Klassie is away getting to know Bellamy’s family, we have a special announcement. A special twist, if you will.” Now she turned from us, directly addressing the audience at home: “As you at home may recall, Vanessa recently chose to return to her former love Bernstein, and she left the show. However, Vanessa has had a change of heart. It didn’t take her long to realize that she had been falling in love with Bellamy, and she needed to return, to see if his feelings are as strong as her own.”

  A black limousine began driving our way. I looked out of the corn
er of my eye at Alanna, waiting for her to have an outburst, but she didn’t even flinch. Deb, on the other hand, began weeping all over again.

  The limousine pulled to a halt in front of us and the driver got out and stood beside the back door. The tinted window edged down just an inch or two and some red fingernails slid out from the crack, waggling at us teasingly. We all drew in our breath. I was surprised at the heavy feeling of dread in my stomach. Vanessa had been way too strong of a contender. This was very bad news for all of us. Then and there, it became clear to me: I wanted to win.

  “Vanessa, please rejoin us,” said Catalina, with a flourishing hand gesture. The limo driver opened her door, and out she stepped in a long red gown. She looked… different. Better. Her nose was tinier. Her boobs were bigger. Her hair was longer.

  “Hi,” she said to us. She blew us a kiss and flashed a bigger, whiter smile than she’d had before.

  “Vanessa,” said Catalina, “we’re so glad you’re back. Please join the others. And, while you’re all together, I have some news for you: Bellamy has decided that Klassie is not the woman for him. Sad news for Klassie, but good news for the four of you. Let’s make a toast to all of you, the new final four!”

  Glasses of champagne landed in our hands and we four toasted one another. I noticed Vanessa eyeing Alanna’s outfit with bemused disdain. Alanna’s eyes were glazed over like someone in a rabid trance. I suspected she was furious and was using every ounce of willpower she had to not freak out. Deb was still sniffling and the cameramen were trying to capture us toasting while avoiding any face-on shots of her.

  “I’m so glad to be back,” gushed Vanessa. Her Southern accent seemed to have been turned up a couple of notches. She was like Vanessa squared. “I missed y’all! Leaving Bellamy was my biggest mistake ever.” We clinked glasses and all took a few drinks as the camera captured our happy reunion.

  “Okay, thanks for pulling yourselves together,” Catalina said once they’d gotten the footage they needed. “You can go back to your room. There’s a date card waiting for one of you. Hey, Bob, come over here and rub my shoulders. There’s a really bad knot in my right one.”