by Styles, T
I peeped the gold hoop earrings with the word Princess in the middle she was wearing. My daddy use to call me princess all the time and they reminded me of him.
“Nice earrings.” I said.
“Girl, my father gave them to me. I swear that man loves me to death.”
I felt a hollow emptiness in my stomach and tried to push it down. I didn’t know what the feeling was, all I knew was that it hurt.
Ebony lived in Northwest D.C. and should not have even been going to our school. But her cousin went here, and she was so pressed to be near her that she used her address.
“Ebony, I realize you want to start your birthday early, but class has started. So please take a seat,” the teacher said. A few people laughed and then eventually settled down.
“Ya’ll going to Ebony’s cookout this weekend?” Constance whispered. “She said she gonna have mad smoke there, too.”
Constance was kinda cute, short and light skin with a lot of freckles on her face. She kept her hair slicked back with a rack of gel in it. She had big titties and a loud mouth to go with it. And because she couldn’t talk low, she stayed getting us in trouble with the teachers at school.
“If her party is anything like her party last year, you know I’m in there! And I ain’t got no more money for no smoke either!” Trip laughed.
Trip was average looking but she always knew where to score money for some smoke, which is why I kept her around. At the same time she was also a backstabber, which is one reason I couldn’t kick it with her all the time. Although she was only seventeen, she had a three-year-old son by her boyfriend Paco named Evan. I had to give it to them though, they made a cute baby together.
“Ya’ll talking all that shit knowing good and well Kreshon not gonna let you go nowhere, Constance and Paco would kill your ass if he caught you at another party, Trip.” I laughed. “So I don’t even know why ya’ll faking.”
“Bitch, fuck Kreshon! He just better keep that money rolling for we have serious problems.” Constance said.
“Why you say that?” I asked.
“Because lately he been holding out. Talking ‘bout he ain’t got this and he ain’t got that. At the end of the day, the money is all I give a fuck about.”
“Sure.”
“Okay, and I got a feeling he cheating, and if he is, he may get smoked by the gun under my mother’s bed.”
“She got a gun?” I asked.
“Yep, and I know how to use it, too.”
“Yeah right.” She bragged. “A bitch with a gun is not to be fucked with.”
Constance and me gave each other five and looked to see if the teacher saw us, she didn’t. Although I was feeling what she was saying, I also knew that she was in deep when it came to her feelings for Kreshon. She just loved perpetrating the worse fraud in front of us.
“Bitch, you ain’t hurting no Kreshon!” Trip said. “You so far up that nigga ass you can see his intestines.”
“Fuck you…I’m all the way serious about that shit!” Constance yelled as usual. “I’m getting sick of Kreshon’s ass.”
“And I’m sick of you interrupting my class,” Mrs. Duncan said. “Now if I have to ask you to be quiet in my classroom again, I will send you to the principal’s office! Do I make myself clear?”
When she turned around to refocus on the blackboard I said, “Why you gotta be so hot all the time, Constance? Stay getting niggas late.”
“Fuck her.” She said a little lower, not doing a good job of whispering yet again. “She just a hating ass bitch.”
I shook my head and said, “What ya’ll ‘bout to do when class let out?” I scribbled some shit on the paper in front of me, to pretend I was doing school work when I wasn’t.
“You ask us that same question every Friday and every Friday you don’t plan to do nothin’ with us until later on at night.” Trip said.
“You act like you want me to fuck you or something.”
“Bitch, you know what I mean,” Trip continued. “Why bother asking if we ain’t gonna hook up?”
“I be asking ya’ll what ya’ll doing for later. Just ‘cause I don’t get up with ya’ll right when we leave don’t mean nothing.”
“Well I don’t know about Trip, but I’m going to my aunt’s house to wait on Kreshon.”
“Why you gotta go to your aunt’s house to wait on him?”
“Because my mother don’t want me being with him no more. Talking about he too old and shit. He ain’t but five years older than me.”
“I feel you. What you and Kreshon gonna do when ya’ll get up?” I continued.
“He ‘sposed to be giving me some money to buy some gear for the cookout tomorrow. You know I gotta look fresh.” Constance said. “But before I do any shopping though, I got to drop Brittany off a little dough to do something for me.”
“Weird Brittany?” I asked. “When you start fucking with her?” Even though I was the one Jace chose, whenever we would fight, like now, she’d stick her nose into our business.
“She not too bad.” She said. “She just don’t like a lot of people. But trust me, Brittany be havin’ the dirt on everybody.”
“What she gonna do for you?” Trip continued.
“I’ll tell ya’ll later.” She said holding back.
I didn’t care what she did with Brittany to tell you the truth, just as long as Brittany stayed out of my way. I think she was fucking my boyfriend, Jace and she better hope I didn’t catch her.
“How much Kreshon giving you tonight?” I asked.
“He said about two hundred, but I’ma see if I can get more from him.” Constance bragged. “Trust me when I say the wells have been dry lately. The nigga owe me big time tonight though.”
“At least you know where your money coming from.” I added. “Me and Jace still beefin’.”
“I can’t tell ya’ll beefin’. You stay with fresh sneaks and gear. Like when you get them new Princess Reeboks?” Trip asked.
“I been had ‘em.”
“Bitch, you ain’t been had them.” Trip said.
“Girl, yes I have. And Jace said he really cutting me off this time. Saying he tired of my split personality. He sound like a fool.”
“Well you do you have a split personality?” Constance added.
“I ain’t no more moody than the rest of ya’ll bitches.” I said. “And some of ya’ll take moodiness to a whole notha level, by backstabbing your friends.”
“Like who?”
“I don’t know, you said you fuck with Brittany. How do I know you don’t be tellin’ her the shit I be telling you? Knowing she been wanting my man since day one.”
“’Cause I wouldn’t do that.”
While she was lying, I tugged at the seat of my pants. I think somebody burned me I was fucking on the side but I didn’t know who and I didn’t know what I had.
“Yeah, well you better not.” I warned her. “Because I got some shit on you, too.” I paused. “I don’t want ya’ll telling ya’ll boyfriends my business either. They do work with Jace you know.”
“Girl, you already know I ain’t tellin’ Paco shit.” Trip said. “And even if somebody did tell him your business, Jace is too blinded by you, girl.”
When I turned around to fake on my work some more, I saw Constance look at Trip out the corner of my eye. Sneaky bitch. Bitches stay keepin’ up shit.
When the bell rang I jumped up and said my goodbyes. I was almost out the door until the teacher called me. “Harmony, let me talk to you for a moment.”
I rolled my eyes, turned around and said, “Mrs. Duncan, I really have to go. My ride is probably outside waiting on me right now.”
“It’ll only take a minute, Harmony. Please.” I stomped toward her desk hoping she’d say never mind…But she didn’t. “I hear today is your last day in school, is there any particular reason why?”
“I’m not like the other kids in this school, Mrs. Duncan. Most of them come day after day believing that education can get them f
ar in life. But I know the truth.”
“And what’s that?”
“That the only thing that matters in this world is dick and pussy.” I figured if I could be as nasty as possible, she’d leave me alone.
Her face frowned up and she said, “You don’t think education is important?”
I looked at this green bitch and said, “Fuck no.”
“Harmony, watch your language.”
“Mrs. Duncan, this is me, and you wanted to talk to me so I’ma give it to you how you need to have it. So here it is…If it ain’t making me money, or helping me bust a nut, than I don’t need it and that goes for your so called education, too.”
“Harmony Phillips, I can’t believe what I’m hearing coming out of your mouth. What about the money education can make you in the long run?”
“Fuck a long run. I need money now!”
“Harmony, if you don’t have a proper education, you’re in for a hard life.”
“A hard life? A hard life?” I laughed. “Let’s see…My mother was killed in front of me, my father was murdered in prison, my grandmother and uncle have raped me for years at a time, and I have a drug dealer for a boyfriend.” I paused. “So tell me, how much harder can life get for me?” I continued leaning on her desk. “How much harder, Mrs. Duncan?”
Silence.
“I…didn’t know.”
“How could you? You assumed that education can save the world when it can’t. But I’m smarter than you in some ways, because I know the truth. I needed someone to be there for me then and they weren’t. And now, I don’t even know who I am anymore.” I stood up straight and said, “Have a nice day.”
“Harmony, wait!” I stopped. “Here, take my number. If you need someone to talk to…Let it be me.”
“I’ll take this, but it’s too late for me, Mrs. Duncan. Do yourself a favor and go save somebody else.”
After I finished with Mrs. Duncan I bolted out of the building. I went four blocks up the street and opened the backdoor to an abandoned house I found six months back. It was my little getaway, and the only place I could go to escape from the world. I invited a few people over sometimes, but mainly it was all about me. Kinda like the crawlspace I went into all the time when I lived at Concord Manor. Even after all these years, I missed Concord and hoped that one day I’d be able to go back there, even though I couldn’t.
When I got to the house, I went into the basement and turned on a lamp I brought from my grandmother’s house and waited patiently. I loved Fridays, because it was the one-day I was sure to get fucked real nasty. Sex with my boyfriend could get a little weak at times when he had shit on his mind and today I needed a release.
There was an old couch and old leather chair inside the basement. I threw my book bag off, pulled my jeans down followed by my panties. My pussy started itching badly so I sat on the couch, opened my legs and scratched it as hard as I could without making it too raw. There was a slight smell, too but I didn’t know what it was and figured I’d take a bath later to get rid of it. I had the strange itch for fifteen days straight and it was starting to really bother me. I also developed strange sores on my hands and my feet and figured it was from allergies. But what was I allergic too?
When I saw him pull up outside, get out of his car and look around, I opened my legs wider and stretched out on the old couch. Hearing his footsteps made me anxious. But not because I liked him, but because I knew when I was done, I’d be satisfied sexually. Having sex was my way of giving back to the community. At least that was how I looked at things.
When he walked down the steps he said, “Damn, shawty. You ready for me already ain’t you?”
He dropped his jeans and then his boxers like they were on fire.” I was actually getting ready to take care of myself.” I lied. He liked to hear that kind of shit.
“Oh for real?”
“Naw, I’m just playing,” I giggled. My other appointment was in an hour so I had to hurry.
“What it do, cutie?” He said. “You been here long?”
To me, Kreshon was real cute with a baby face and he was tall as shit. He always dressed good and smelled nice, too.
“You know it’s never long whenever I’m waiting on you.” He smiled at me and stroked his dick to a thickness. “You gonna suck it for me first?”
“What you gonna give me if I do?” I didn’t need the money because I knew eventually Jace would be calling me back to make up. I used the money as an excuse to get what I really wanted…FUCKED. But today money could come in handy. I needed it to get some new gear and a bottle of vodka. “Because you know I like to have nice things.”
“How much you askin’ me for, Harmony? Just come out and say it.”
“I need some clothes, Kreshon. So I’ma need a lot.”
He looked at me like he could read me and said, “How much is a lot?” His jaw flexed a little.
“Two hundred.”
“Fuck…I can’t give you two hundred!” He yelled, his voice gruffer than before. I hated nickel and dime hustlers because they never had enough. “I gotta give Constance some money to go shoppin’ later. And I know you already know that.”
“So, she more important to you than me?”
“She’s my girl, Harmony. And your friend.”
“And Jace is your friend, too but that don’t seem to stop you from fuckin’ his girlfriend!” I said raising one eyebrow and poking my lips out.
“Jace is my boss…Not my friend.”
“Do he know that?” A smirk spread across my face.
“Shit between us is just business.” He said seriously. “Nothin’ more nothin’ less. And if it was, I wouldn’t even be fuckin’ with you.”
“You keep believing that shit.” I laughed.
“I’m serious.”
“Humph. Well, I wonder what he’d say if he knew what we did to each other in this house. He probably would have Tony Wop kill you or somethin’. You know how hard he be tripping over me. Matta fact, maybe I should call him.”
Silence.
He grabbed me by the neck and I smiled. “You can’t hurt me. Nobody can hurt me.”
“You real fucked up in the head ain’t you?”
“The money. Give me the money.”
“I can’t do it.” He said seriously. “I can’t give you two hundred dollars when I know you can ask your man. That nigga got way more bread than me.”
“You know what,” I said gathering my clothes. “If she’s so much more important to you than me, then you can go fuck her instead. I’m outta here.”
I put back on my jeans and grabbed my panties. I knew he was going to stop me because there was no way in hell Constance could fuck him better than me. He and I both knew it. I was still faking my way back up the stairs when he said, “Wait!”
I turned around and placed my hands on my hips. “Waiting ain’t gonna give you none of this good pussy but money will.”
“It ain’t about the money is it?” I was shocked at his question. “You just want to see how far I would go for you. What I would be willin’ to give up.”
“You know what,” I said trying to throw him off my trail. “Maybe we shouldn’t see each other no more. Shit is getting too serious anyway.”
The confidence was drained from his face. “Why…Why you sayin’ that?”
“I just think we need to slow all the way down.”
“Harmony, I was just fuckin’ wit’ you.” He said walking up to me, taking my panties out of my hand. “You know I can’t be wit’out you.”
“Then act like it, nigga.”
“You can be cold as shit, Harmony.” He reached in his pocket and pulled out two hundred dollars. “What I’m gonna tell, Constance?”
I tucked my money in the pocket of my jeans. “That’s your problem not mine,” I told him. “But in a minute you not about to give a fuck.”
I bent down, took him into my mouth, put a lot of spit on his dick and gave him an extra sloppy blowjob. Spit ran down the sid
es of his dick and I jerked him off simultaneously.
“Ahhh, damn, Harmony. Do that shit!” Kreshon said.
“You like this, daddy?” I asked looking up at him.
“You know I like that shit. Keep it nice and wet. More spit, baby.”
“You taste so good.”
“How in the fuck you learn to suck a dick like this?”
“From my uncle.”
“What?!” He said looking down at me.
“Just playing.” I continued giving him the business.
He told me over and over how bad it was to have sex with Constance. How she wasn’t as nasty as me. After I finished giving him a blowjob to die for, I bent over and let him fuck my wet pussy. He was falling deep and I loved it. I loved feeling needed. Out of all the things Uncle Charles told me he was right about sex. It was so much easier to control people, when you had something they wanted. I made sure every time Kreshon left me, that he remembered the difference between me and Constance. I could not be forgotten or mistaken for another bitch when I been fucking all my life.
“Kreshon.”
“Yes, baby.” He said with his eyes rolling up in the back of his head.
“I don’t want you to love her more than me. I want you to be all mine. You know I’ma leave Jace soon right…Like we talked about?”
“Yes, baby.”
“But you gotta make more money first so we can be good. You gotta be able to take care of me.”
“I can’t wait, girl.” He said fucking me harder. Even if he was lying, for the minute it felt good to be wanted. “I hate stringing Connie along when I don’t even fuck with her like that. I love you.”